Finish it… odds and ends… That usually means more odds but, whatever.

Before I do anything I need to let EVERYONE know that my short story collection “Morning at the Vineyard” will be FREE on Amazon (download only) October 27 – 31, 2017. It is a fun collection of stories from this blog. Share with your friends. Read it on Halloween. Have fun. Happy Halloween.

Here is the link:

I was looking at my blog stats and noticed that someone was looking at random pages of my “Girl in the Woods” online novel. That was supposed to be finished in 2016 but I came to a chapter that needed to be rewritten and I didn’t feel like it, so I ignored it. It didn’t go away. Now it sits there lonely and alone, waiting for that chance reader to come by and read chapter 9 and chapter 19.

Another example is my house. I love my home. It is my dream home. It is a mess. I could clean. I plan on cleaning. So instead I go to the store and buy Twinkies and frosting so I can make Ghosts for a Halloween party this weekend. Actually there are TWO Halloween parties.


It is a fun and easy project. Get a box of ten Twinkies, a can of white frosting, a tube of black frosting. Spread the white frosting over the Twinkies. Draw faces with the black frosting. Presto – you have a delightful treat. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart. It doesn’t take any time at all. You don’t have to be perfect. Everybody loves these. It will make you laugh. Clara and I made these cuties a few years ago, and we’re doing it again. We don’t eat them (we’d become violently ill) but we have a lot of fun making them.

But back to my house. I wish I had a maid. I’m not a witch so I can’t just snap my finger and make everything clean up itself. To tell the truth most witches can’t do that. I’m not a Disney Princess so I don’t have animal friends who will come do it for me either. With my luck they’d be like my cat and pee all over everything just for spite. He has no reason to feel any spite, but he is a cat. Something was moved, or someone called him an asshole, or the dog looked at him wrong, or the other cat simply exists, so he pees to prove his point. He is a talker too. It isn’t like I’m not listening to him 24/7.

This is the glamorous life of a Vampire. No blood stains to wash out today. No turning into a bat. No cryptic messages from an ancient council of folks who wear robes and chant weird shit. Just a mom, who planted bulbs in the yard today, and who is going to go to the post office in a few minutes, then off to Dave’s Bottle Shop to pick up a few bottles of  Poet’s Blood and a case of Spiced A Positive.

Then we’ll decorate for Halloween.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Marla Todd _ Oscar Gray








March Reading List – Great New Fiction

Morning at the Vineyard
for the next few days (until Tuesday.)

Pass it on. Share with your friends. Leave a nice review.

A collection of stories from Vampire Maman: A Vampire hung-over wakes up in the house of serial killers; poetry from a teenage girl brings a Greek god to his knees; elderly vampires, lost loves, a lunch date with zombies and opera singers, and modern vampire family life, fill the pages of this volume with humor, romance, adventure, parenting in this collection of unique tangled tales.
Juliette Kings is a highly innovative and insightful writer with a gift for creating a fantasy world within a “real” world context.


Morning at the Vineyard now available on (and tell the folks at NPR and the LA Times that this is the best book you've ever read and that they should interview Juliette Kings NOW. Any other media outlet would work as well. Yes, this is shameless but what do you expect? I'm a Vampire. We have no shame.

Morning at the Vineyard now available on (and tell the folks at NPR and the LA Times that this is the best book you’ve ever read and that they should interview Juliette Kings NOW. Any other media outlet would work as well. Yes, this is shameless but what do you expect? I’m a Vampire. We have no shame.


Exceptional Liars by Marla Todd

Alex Goldstein has a thriving law practice with his wife Tasha Alexander. Life is is good. Well, except for the fact that he drinks too much, and his wife regularly cheats on him. To keep his mind off of his problems Alex writes about by serial killers. His most recent obsession is The Killer of Virtue.

Liz Hobbs is born into a large family of sneaky manipulative children with an unhealthy fear of God only ranks second to the fear of their narcissistic parents. After the murder of her brother and only ally Steve, then the loss of a college scholarship for bad behavior, Liz falls in love. Unfortunately that includes falling into an abusive marriage with relationship counselor Greg Atkinson.

Liz decides to end it all and jumps from a bridge, only to find herself in the bed of her friend Darren Crawford. He isn’t just a friend; he is The Killer of Virtue. Fortunately for Liz, Darren drops dead of natural causes. Now with everyone thinking she is dead, Liz pulls a Huck Finn and runs.

After misreading the phone number of a women’s shelter Liz ends up in office of Alexander and Goldstein. Alex helps her build a new life as his own life falls apart.

Exceptional Liars is a roller coaster ride of a book full of unexpected twists and turns. Witty dialogue and interesting characters makes this book one of the best new novels of 2016.

Just out on (CLICK HERE)

Exceptional Liars by marla Todd


Author Information: Marla Todd helps with Vampire Maman from time to time and manages the blog

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

I have a Halloween Treat for YOU

Happy Halloween


Creepies 2 – Things That Go Bump in the Closet is FREE today!

Click here to download your copy and prepare to be scared! Or the most entertained you’ve been in ages.



Loud and Clear

July 4th is one of those days where we really, actually, absolutely celebrate the holiday that we’re supposed to be celebrating.

We celebrate our life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

People risk their lives to come here, to the United States of America. Appreciate that fact.

At the time of the writing of the Declaration of Independence this small spot in the world was settled by some of the most forward thinking and brilliant minds in the world. Some were from Europe and other foreign locations, but a lot were born here. This was their country, as only they understood it.

Far away from the rest of the world they could make and create their own society. They could make their own rule – rules that suited them and not traditions that had nothing to do with their lives.

They were afraid but fearless. They were strong but had loving hearts. They used their minds as well as their swords.

Forget the clowns and nitwits who now call themselves politicians. They have lost the passion and intelligence of our founding fathers. They have lost the imagination and creativity. They have lost their balance. Most don’t have the balls to sign their names as large as John Hancock.

That said, my wish for this Independence Day is for those with thoughts of freedom, justice, creativity, and the individual will rise up and take part. Let your voices ring out with truth, justice and common sense.

Remember, the Vampires will back you up on this – we know what it is like to be different and without a real voice.

Make your voice heard. Shout it loud and clear – like John Hancock’s signature.

Happy Independence Day!


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

I am free…

I am free

To roam the universe

That lies

Between my house

And your prison

Next door.

Growl at me all you want

Fluffy cat

For I am free…

At least until Juliette gets home.

I am free fluffy cat! Oscar giving Teddy some serious attitude.

I am free fluffy cat!
Oscar giving Teddy some serious attitude.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Tuesday Vampire Cocktails and TV: Lemon Martini & AGT

11494-cocktails-565It is Tuesday so that means our review of this week’s America’s Got Talent and Teddy’s Cocktails.

First off with the cocktails. This is one of my favorites.

Summer Moon Martini

  • Juice from half a lemon
  • 2 oz vodka
  • Ice
  • 2 large green olives (we like garlic stuffed and NO it isn’t true about Vampires and garlic.)
  • A slice of lime if you have it on hand.
  • 1 oz blood (optional especially if you aren’t a Vampire.)
  • Add a sprig of mint if you have it and feel like being extra festive

 Pour everything over ice. Let it sit for about 5 minutes. Enjoy.

TV-WatchingNow that we’re all throughly looped (except the kids) let’s watch the show!

America’s Got Talent Show 2013 #3!

The show came on an hour early tonight and we missed it! And we didn’t record it. So being the resourceful mom that I am, I caught a what I could on YouTube. We’ll see the entire thing on “on demand” tomorrow.

But this is what I saw (and I liked all of them, some better than others.)

I have to say I’m diggin on Nick’s plum colored jacket. I absolutely LOVED Heidi’s dress with the zippers. I can see myself in that!

Kenichi Ebina – 38 year old dancer. WOW and WOW and WOW. He did the most amazing robot thing and it looked like his head fell off. WOW. He was darling too. Cute as a bug.

Deanna DellaCioppa. A RED haired singer with a HUGE voice. She sang a song from Dream Girls and did quite well. She is also a 39 year old mom and she does animal rescues. She gets my vote.

Military Spouses – Beautiful voices and really ugly shirts and pants. They were nice.

Rong Niu – A 42 year old juggling unicycle darling. Yes, tonight is the night for darling performers. She was great! How did she do it? I don’t know but she did!

Sprice aka Steve Price – This 19 year old makes Rube Goldberg Machines. And boy does he ever.  I couldn’t stop smiling. SHOW ME MORE Steve! HA HA HA HA love it.

So, from what I saw tonight P.T. Barnum would have been proud of this lot!

But no snakes tonight thank goodness!

But no snakes tonight thank goodness!


OK since I missed the show … now on to BOOKS.

And if you need something raw, scary and a lot of sick and twisted fun – that isn’t exactly “Family” entertainment check out this deal from my friend author Mandy White:

The FeederFreebie alert: The Feeder will be free on Kindle for two days, June 19-20, starting tonight at midnight. Do me a favor and hit download, even if you have no intention of reading it.

The Feeder by Mandy White
The Feeder gives brutality a new meaning…
Victims horribly mutilated, with parts missing and inserted in their mouths…
An aspiring actress-turned-prostitute falls victim to the killer, leaving behind a grieving twin obsessed with revenge.
Graphic violence and scenes of mutilation. Some readers may find the content of this book offensive. Read at your own discretion.
This book is DRM free – can be read on non-Kindle devices. #noDRM
And don't forget to always look your best while drinking cocktails (especially with Vampires)

And don’t forget to always look your best while drinking cocktails (especially with Vampires)