Mom versus the Alien Girl

space girl

 

 

When you twenty year old son is texting with his friends about the Star Trek preview with the Kirk and the weird space alien girl, and he sends it to the wrong number.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

What really scares a Vampire

Aside from something harming our children…there isn’t much that scares a Vampire mom. I’m talking about that raising the hair on the back of your neck creep uncomfortable scare that gives you unreasonable chills. The kind of scare that gives you the Willies. The Heeby Jeebies. The Creeps. The kind of thing that scares the crap out of me.

As Vampires we’re on the top of the food chain so not much scares us. Not Ghosts or Zombies. Not Werewolves or Goblins. Not even Honey Boo Boo’s mother.

Sure I don’t think I could handle a grizzly bear or a grown male Bengal tiger, but I don’t run into those on my daily dog walks. They don’t invade my mind and my imagination in the sense of pure terror. They are natural creatures of the earth.

What scares me, DAMN YOU MR WELLS, is ALIENS. Yes, this Vampire is afraid of the idea of Aliens.

This has been going on since 1898 when H.G. Wells wrote War of the Worlds. Forget the recent crapola movie starring that short guy, this story is thoughtful and SCARY. Read the book or listen to the famous radio program. Anyway the story is simple. Aliens come down from Mars and try to take over Earth. It is horrifying. The very idea that a hostile alien comes from another planet it something too difficult to comprehend.

Funny thing that it came out the year after Dracula (1897) came on the scene. And it was only about 10 years after Jack the Ripper (not fiction) brought some almost fiction like terror and fascination into the public eye (not to mention my brother Val and I know who the killer really was).

Science Fiction is full of all sorts of creepy alien lore. The best thing to come out of that is the covers of old pulp magazines like Amazing Stories, Astounding Science Fiction or Science Fiction & Fantasy.

Amazing Stories Naked people oh no

February 1942 Amazing StoriesAmazing Stories ERB-Amazing stories war of the worldAmazing Stories Vol.5, No.9amazing stories guy with 2 girls

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I love the idea of aliens. I hope ET is out there with his phone. I want Star Trek to be true. I want NASA to come back and I want to see real space exploration. I want the first contact to be like out of a hopeful Spielberg movie. I want it to be magical and good.

But part of me also loves that old-fashioned creep-out factor. Especially in movies.

 

So without more rambling here is:

Vampire Maman’s favorite “Creep Me Out” Space Alien Movies.

The descriptions are short. Google the film titles for more information. Just take my word for it. I’m not a movie reviewer because I get too excited about stuff and write too fast. And the good thing about this list is that you can see most of them with your teens. Family fun for everyone!

Signs

2002

I used to like Mel Gibson until he turned into a complete asshole and now I can’t watch his movies anymore EXCEPT this one. I’ve seen this movie about 6 times and it still gives me the creeps. Basic story line: A man and his children and his brother are trapped in a farmhouse when aliens show up and scare the shit out of everyone. Oh my gosh. This one takes the cake.

The_Signs_movie

District 9

2009

A brilliant movie about aliens from another world trapped in a refugee camp in South Africa. Not so much for the creep factor but for the “it could happen to any of us.” factor. I came away feeling sad after watching this beautifully done film.

District_nine_movie

The War of the Worlds

1953 science fiction film starring Gene Barry and Ann Robinson. It is a loose adaptation of the H. G. Wells classic novel of the same name, and the first of a number of film adaptations based on Wells’ novel. Produced by George Pal and directed by Byron Haskin from a script by Barré Lyndon, it was the first of two adaptations of Wells’ work to be filmed by Pal, and is considered to be one of the great science fiction films of the 1950s. It won an Oscar for its special effects and was later selected for inclusion in the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress. Note: This is from Wikipedia because I have only have a few minutes to write this and so I cheated.

The_War_of_the_Worlds_1953

1956 Version: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Yes, pod people and everything. See it and be creeped out.

Invasion_of_the_body_snatchers

 

 

 

 

 

Note: I didn’t add “Aliens” because the alien bitch isn’t on earth. That is an awesome movie but it didn’t scare me. Grossed me out and made me jump but didn’t creep me out.

 

Other movies about Space or Aliens to take note of:

  • Another Earth
  • Liquid Sky
  • The Man Who Fell To Earth
  • 2001 A Space Odyssey

liquid sky

 

 

Movies that aren’t about Aliens but creep me out:

  • Shallow Grave
  • The Birds
  • The Innocents
  • The Woman in Black

The_Innocents_movie

 

 

Movies that SCARE ME MORE THAN ANYTHING. And if Space Aliens ever do have a hostile take-over all movies will be like this and our brains will DIE:

  • Forest Gump
  • Steel Magnolias
  • The Bridges of Madison County

 

So when you look into the night skyjust rememberyou are not alone.