Curing olives with my dad
The glug of the garden hose
In the tub of green fruit
Golden fall leaves surround us
And the smell of
New roses and
Fresh mowed grass
We’ll crank the ice cream
Then take one
Last swim
Before the time fades
Away with nothing
Left but love.
~ Marla Todd
In the dark
We ran through the streets
Slick with rain
Back alleys
Darkened windows
Broken glass
Rats
The smell of decay
And death.
Then into grand mansions
We’d fly
Cloaks off
The rustle of silk
A white tie
A flash of fang
The smell of wine
Cigars
And blood.
We were young
Carefree
With stories
We shall never
Tell
Our own
Children.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Winter Cat
A poem
Cold
Frigid air
Can’t compare
To the stare
Of my cat
“Where you at?”
Wanting me
To fill her bowl
Hollow soul
Teeth and claws
Hidden underneath
Soft calico
Fur of an angel
Demon of my home
And hearth
Then after she eats
She will barf.
Red Moon
I missed the
Eclipse
The red moon
Due to rain.
I heard the
Werewolves
Cry in the night
Missing their
Moment
All covered in fur
And no place
To go.
Smelter Skelter
or
Something is Fishy in Denmark
Oh smelter
Skelter
Tiny fish
Of Silver Scales
Too small
To be whales
But dry them out
Salt em up
And package them
In bales
Add them to your
Soup
Your stir fry
And your goop
Chicken coop
Feed them up
Salty eggs
Yup yup yup
Rooster Crows
Orange glows
Atomic bombs
Where’s it from?
Far away in a secret land
Come on boys
Give me a hand
Cut off heads
Cut off balls
Cut off feet
Kill them all
Eat their spleens
Snack in between
Their hearts
And their farts
Show your smarts
Tuna sammich
Wish I was rich
I’d eat sushi
Till I die
With pearls and gold
Gray and old
Throw me in a coffin
We’ll all be laughing (rhyme it with coffin)
Fill us up with chemicals
So we won’t rot or grow
Tentacles
Like an octopus
Mr. Cephalopod
With all those legs
You sure look odd
Just like the smelt
All small and silver
Eat up up with Ranch dip
Gluten free
Super hip.
Yep.
My House
My house
Was built
On River
Rocks
My dryer vents
Are full
Of socks
The ghosts
Are kept inside
With locks
They dance
At night
In tattered
Frocks
The sheep
Outside
Live in
Flocks
Watch out
For the Fox
Hide in a box
Eat lox
Dance to
The moon
And don’t
Wear Crocks.
Because Crocks
Are
Ugly.
Feed Me Not
He served me
Anchovy pie,
Baked sheep eye,
Nut crusted cat spleen,
Rats in a soup tureen,
Chili pie without a bean
Or a Freeto
And no dips
Just snot ball chips,
Hoof jelly
Kind of smelly,
A casserole
Of duck asshole,
A huge skewer
Of mystery meat
That smelled of
Nasty gym sock feet.
I told him that
I’d had my dinner.
I was on a diet
And getting thinner.
I would not eat
His vile cooking
No matter if he
Was real good looking.
I need a man
Who knows his kitchen
Cause I don’t want
To spend my life
Bitchin.
Schrödinger Cat
A Poem
I am a cat
Of tabby fur
The past few days
Have been a blur
The man who
Thinks he knows
Physics
Doesn’t know
What
A cat tongue lick is.
The fucker put me
In a box
Then went out
To dine on lox
He ate some rolls
A sausage too
A pint of beer
Roast Kangaroo
Some gummy worms
No fear of germs
He ate it all
On his terms.
Then after that
He went shopping
For hats and gloves
His buttons popping.
I hate that fat fuck
Just my luck
Left in that box
And now I’m stuck.
But he came home
That Austrian Fellow
I knew that I’d
Pee his house yellow.
He said “Dear Cat,
are you alive?
Perhaps you’re dead,
For I hear no cry.
No faint meow,
For physics sake
No kitten purrs
My heart does quake.
He shook the box
THEN
Opened my prison
I jumped out
And sprayed him
Like a proud cat I is.
I peed on his pants
And his favorite chair
I scratched his face
And pulled his hair
I clawed his
Jacket and favorite chair
I was not dead
But everywhere.
Do not contain
Your cat for hours
Unless you want
Cat piss showers.
Treat your cat
Like family
Or you will
Forever
Smell
Like
Pee.
T Rex
I want a
T Rex
To play
And keep
The coyotes
Away
Small arms
No big deal
When driving
It can hold the wheel
It can take
My dog
To the park
It will eat
Monsters
In the dark
It will
Brush my
Cats for me
And jump over
The fence
When it has
To pee
A Rex
Will meet my
Needs
To a Tee
T Rex is
The perfect
Assistant for
Me.
Oh reptile
Giant
With giant teeth
I’ll rub your
Belly
Underneath
Scare the
Bad guys
Who might rob
My house
Make them cry
Roar.
Love ya big guy.
Have fun,
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
At 4:00 a.m. in the pre-dawn morning
the owls sing their songs
like a call and response in their oak forest cathedral.
A tiny bat speeds across the sky in front of
my bedroom window.
The cat sits on the window sill
watching beside me.
In a few hours
I’ll be at the museum,
sort of my own cathedral.
Yet, the woods are also mine.
A place of others.
The creatures of the night.
Those who do not create beauty,
but are beauty.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
The only noise
Is the clock
Almost as old as I am
From 1876
Still running like new,
And the sounds of random
Traffic
In the distance,
A cat eating,
An owl outside,
The tap tap tapping
Of my keyboard,
No sounds from
Others in my house,
Slumbering quietly,
Still,
And cold
Upstairs,
With quiet dreams,
As only
Fellow
Vampires
Will have.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Sleep
It is like the ghost that haunts me
Only worse.
The ghost will listen to me.
Sleep never does.
She taunts me
Like a woman who wants to seduce my husband.
She gives him slumbers so peaceful
So silent and lovely.
She taunts me and pulls my dreams to tattered bits
Then keeps me awake for days on end.
My slumbers end in a dark prison room
Always cold
Always alone
Always awake.
We’re not friends Sleep and I.
I used to think it was my nocturnal nature,
But now I know it is because
Sleep hates me for something I did
In the past
And fired up her jealous heart
To the point where she is only thinking of revenge.
_______________________________________________
I fixed a pot of coffee,
As Nigel the Ghost said, “Sleep doesn’t give a crap what you do Vampire. You’re too busy and you drink too much coffee.”
Maybe so but I’m not going to admit anything to a ghost.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
