A Man Should Have What He Wants

A Man Should Have What He Wants

A Nasty Little Vampire Story from Juliette aka Vampire Maman  

A house full of books and the ghosts of what could have been.

What can be. Oliver Thomas thought as he sat on the edge of the bed.

He never let himself get close to those he visited over the years. It was easy to become detached just as one could be detached to an apple or a head of lettuce.

She slept quietly. On the nightstand were books, earrings, a clock set for 5:00 a.m., and her glasses. Her husband was snoring and slept in another room. Her children were tucked into their dreams. Oliver made sure of that. They’d all be asleep.

Oliver Thomas kept coming back to her. She was different, by her own accord. Amanda had always been different – the type who saw the world in visions and possibilities. Someone who overcame obstacles.  If she grew to be old she’d be a sweet eccentric with her window boxes full of exotic flowers and vast knowledge of the obscure and unusual.

She had a hard time making friends due to her shyness and reluctance to follow up. Her fear of rejection paralyzed her in some areas of her life. Most of life was paralyzing but she seemed to thrive and succeed.

Yet, the woman could light up a room with her wit and charm. She was a success despite her low opinion of herself.

But he’d fallen in love with her in a strange way that someone falls in love with an idea of perfection and the ideal person to share life’s adventures with.

Her teenage kids still hung all over her like toddlers, leaning on her even now. They were taller than she was, dressed in their black band shirts with trendy long hair and black painted nails.  Oliver had seen Amanda once, her son with his lanky arm around her shoulder, her daughter with an arm around her waist. How many women, he wondered, envied her for the closeness she had with her children.

If it wasn’t for her children she might have checked out and left the world a long time ago. Since childhood Amanda had been uncomfortable with life and the tremendous effort it took for her to live with herself and her failures.

Oliver saw that Amanda had failed to see her success, except with her children. He didn’t want to think of her marriage with Craig. It worked better than most. In fact, for the most part, her marriage to Craig was an uncommon success.

Craig, the handsome and successful husband, was the love of her life. Even in her dreams Amanda couldn’t cheat on Craig. They’d built a life together. For her that was enough. More than enough she told herself.

But Oliver knew it wasn’t enough. Amanda found her life in others but kept her secret soul and passions locked up, bound in shadows and secrets.

At one time, Oliver and Amanda had been lovers. The memory of her warm skin, her lips on his own, her hands in his hair and her passion haunted him. He’d come and gone from her life assuming she’d always be there.

Now he was only with her in the dream world of the night.  She’d remember him in another time and place in long lost memories of centuries past. She’d think she’d had a life in another time with him, a past life of possibilities and promise and passion.

An unlikely candidate this middle aged working mom, too tired and busy  to think of herself except when she let her imagination fly as she commuted to school and work in her car each morning, or when she dozed off at night in her own secret places.

The passions were still in her, as it had been when she was young. How could that be?  He kissed her then buried his face into her neck and when he’d had enough of her he silently left her with dreams of passion and desire.

The following evening Oliver looked up from his desk and there she was, standing in the doorway. Black dress, apple green sweater, black heels. The blue Coach bag, a 50th birthday present from her husband was slung over her shoulder. She looked she owned the world, but she still didn’t think she was beautiful.

How did she find me here? I never told her where I live?

“Amanda.” He said her name as if in a dream.

“Don’t Amanda me Oliver. I want you to leave me alone.”

He stood and approached her with his hands held out. “It was always the wrong time or place for us.”

She stepped back ignoring his open arms. “Don’t even start with me Oliver. It would have never worked. You always said I was too independent. Then you turned around and called me needy.”

“I never said any of those things.” He was shocked by her accusations.

“You didn’t have to say it. You made it obvious you were thinking it.”

He didn’t respond. This wasn’t the time for the witty dialog they’d shared in the past, the long talks through the night or the sweet lover’s words.

“Amanda, you can’t stand there before me and say that with a straight face.”

She looked at the floor then looked up straight into his eyes. “You never told me you loved me.”

“I didn’t have to.”

“Bull shit. You just expected me to hang around and wait for you to come in and out of my life. It got old Oliver. But it doesn’t matter. I’m married to a man who loves me the way I am.  I’m successful, happy and I love my life.”

“I doubt if Craig realizes what a fortunate man he is.”

“He knows.”

“Did you ever tell him about me?” Oliver took a step forward. Amanda folded her arms as if to shut him out.

“I haven’t told anyone about you. They’d all think I was nuts. Just like my Aunt Margaret when she talked about her Vampire.”

“You still love me Amanda.” Oliver said those words quietly with such passion that almost no woman would be able to resist. No woman except Amanda.

She turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

Oliver watched from the window as she got in her car and drove away. The slightest hint of regret surged through his dark thoughts. He’d never meet another who captured his heart and his passions like she had.  He’d never meet anyone who made him laugh or feel the joy of being like Amanda had.

Oliver heard the steps behind him but didn’t turn around. A warm hand caressed his shoulder.

“Is she gone?” The speaker was obviously annoyed.

“Yes.”

“Does she have any idea I’m here?”

“No.”

Craig looked out the window. “Good. Where do we go from here?”

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”

“My son is an Emo freak who acts in plays and writes poetry for fun. My daughter won’t talk to anyone unless it’s a text. My wife is never going to lose the baby fat or stop telling stupid jokes or snoring or complaining how hard she works. It wasn’t what I signed up for.”

“I understand.”

“Just for once I want what I want. I don’t want to go home to a woman who is tired all the time and can’t even comprehend my needs.”

“What about your children? You must care about them on some level.”

“They’ll be fine without me. Amanda will have two million dollars in life insurance to get the kids through college. There’s another 10 million in assets she can sell off if she has to. She’ll make sure her children have wonderful memories of me.”

“The news of your death will break her heart.”

Craig scowled at Oliver. “Amanda is already so miserable she won’t even notice. She’ll be happy to be the unfortunate widow and bask in the glow of her own sorrow. I’m doing her a favor by dying rather than divorcing her.”

“And your girlfriends?” Asked Oliver.

“They’re whores who think they can get ahead by sleeping with the CEO. They’ll both get their pink slips next week. So now what?”

Oliver went back around to his desk and sat in the antique leather chair. “Your car will be found in the river and it will be assumed your body was washed away with the currents. Your wallet and a few clothing items will be found washed up on a beach. It will be assumed that you died.”

“So when do I change?”

“Change?”

“When do I become like you? A Vampire.” Craig asked this impatiently almost sounding like a spoilt teen.

Oliver took a deep breath and answered him. “Tonight if you want, but I’d rather wait until tomorrow.”

Craig leaned on the desk close to the Vampire. “I want this Oliver. I want my freedom.”

“You’ll get what you want Craig.”

“Oliver, I’m telling you…”

Craig started to speak but Oliver held up his hand. “We’ll take my jet to Rome in the morning. By the time we get there you’ll be a different man. The old Craig will be gone forever. In the meantime, you need to see your children one last time.”

Amanda sat in the high school auditorium waiting for the play to start. A Midsummer’s Night Dream. Her son played Lysander and her daughter was playing Puck.

Craig had called earlier to tell her he was working late. He’d been sorry to miss the play but said he’d see it on closing night next weekend. She thought she was going to throw up. She pulled out her phone and listened to the message she’d received right after she’d seen Oliver.

A sing song girlish voice said “Mandy, I mean Amanda, this is Trinity, Craig’s assistant. I wanted to let you know that I’ve been sleeping with your husband for about two years. He said I did all those nasty fetish things you wouldn’t do and I believed him. I really really loved him and would have done anything but he dumped me for Tara Hall. She’s like the VP of Marketing.  They’ve been doing it since October so he was two timing on me too. Stupid puke. So when he says he is gone on business he’s really with her. I just thought you’d want to know because you seem like a nice lady.”

It was the fifth time she’d listened to it. Each time she’d hoped she’d heard it wrong but that wasn’t the case.

A text came in from Craig saying he had a change of plans and was on his way.

Concentrate. Don’t think about him. It isn’t true. He’ll be here any minute. Don’t cry.

The house lights went down and the play started.

Oliver Thomas stood on the side of the river and watched the emergency crews on the opposite shore drag out a sliver convertible, the headless body of the driver still strapped in the seat. Some unfortunate member of the police department would find sightless eyes attached to a severed head staring up at him from the floor of the passenger seat.

Witnesses said another car had forced him off the road. The convertible rolled and went into the water. It had been too dark to get any plate numbers or a good description of the other car.

Craig wanted to be free of his wife and children. A man should have what he wants after all.

Now Oliver would do it right. He’d wait a few months, he had time and he’d be there for Amanda and her children, like he should have been all along.

Tangled Tales

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This story was first posted in April, 2013. Nathaniel Chase  was asking about Oliver and since I don’t have anything new, I’m reposting this one. For those of you who are new here, this blog has over 1,500 posts of stories and words of wisdom, parenting, poetry, and plain foolishness and things that will make you laugh (or not) and a lot of Modern Vampire stuff (and the ghost) and I believe I already mentioned parenting. For a taste (click here)  Never Shout Never – Absolutely Never.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

I Feel Like a Ghost …

“I feel like a Ghost most of the time.”

I listened as my brother Val talked about our family. He is the forth of five children, less than two years my senior. Nobody does listen to him, or to me much. The elder children caught the attention of our parents and wore them out before we were born. They give us bad advice, stupid advice, ignore anything we say, and pretty much discount our opinions.

I always tell my children: Marry an only child who is an orphan. Of course if you’re a Vampire that is pretty easy to do. And you know I’m just joking.

I’ve heard my brother Aaron, the middle child express the same thing. Arron is at a disadvantage in that he is trapped between the elder two, and the younger two. I’d say more in the shadow of the elder two.

I tell Val not to stress, not to worry, and to go on with whatever it is that he is doing. I listen. He listens to me.

Val usually is the most confident of us all and never complains about anything. In his own way he quietly observes the world around him, then he stands back, then he takes action.

So to hear this man, the most loyal and chill, and in many ways strongest, of us all, say he feels unseen makes me wonder what I’ve missed. Actually I haven’t missed anything – I just haven’t said anything.

I spend a lot of time listening to my children. We interact. I listen. I make an effort to engage them. Maybe we need to do that to the adults in our lives more as well. We need to teach our kids to engage, interact, and listen.

A King might have loyal subjects but only if he listens and shows that he cares. Loyalty never comes from fear. It comes from understanding.

I’d like to say that of my loyal followers. I love you and I appreciate you in ways you’ll never know. And I will try to continue to be loyal to you with entertaining posts about parenting, relationships, Vampires, and love … and all that scary stuff too that we love this time of year.

Val and I sat on my back deck under the night sky talking about what we’re up to these days. He has reconnected with a woman he first met in the 80’s – the 1880’s when wewere in London. She wasn’t a Vampire back then, but she is now, and living in San Francisco. He hasn’t told our brothers. I tell him about the kids, and about the books I’m trying to write. He listens. He really listens. He never gives me plot ideas or tell me my stories suck.

So that is it for now for my morning musings. I’ll have more Halloween shenanigans and other silly stuff later this week, plus Vlad has will have a new “Vampire Diary” post.

Thanks for dropping by, xoxoxox.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Val – this song is for you.

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/loyal/

Ask Juliette: How can I tell if my girlfriend is a Vampire? Class Reunions. And other timely matters.

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire) is a semi-regular feature here at Vampiremaman.com

If you have a question about anything, including, but not restricted to relationships, parenting, Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, cooking, gardening, travel, roller skating or anything you have a burning question about just ask. Send your questions to juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com. Or just put your question in the comments.

Dear Juliette,

I think my girlfriend might be a Vampire. Lately her habits have changed for the extreme. Her diet has recently become extremely restrictive, she is gone most nights, she started to wear more black, she looks better and is in better shape than she ever has, and she have become kind of snappy with me. I asked her about it and she said she found out she is diabetic. I don’t buy it. How can I tell if she is a Vampire? 

If your girlfriend did turn into a Vampire she would have been deathly ill before she got better. It isn’t an easy process to convert. 

Here are a few signs if she is indeed a Vampire.

  • Cooler body temperature. 
  • Restricted diet.
  • An increase to sensitivity to the sun.
  • Quick healing of wounds.
  • Little or no physical aging.
  • Often a show of fangs when angry.
  • The ability to see in the dark.
  • The ability to put someone else into a trance.

I don’t believe your girlfriend is a Vampire. More than likely she has changed her diet for health reasons, and is going to the gym at night. Or she is cheating on you. Or going to the gym at night AND cheating on you.

Dear Juliette,

Can Vampires have babies or does one have to be bitten by a Vampire and convert? Can Vampires and Werewolves have babies? Can humans and Vampires have babies.

Yes, Vampires can have their own biological children the old fashioned way, but only with other Vampires, and it is extremely rare. They don’t have offspring with regular human folks, and not with Werewolves, and not with Demons, Fallen Angels, or anybody who is not a Vampire. 

Dear Juliette,

I want to become a Vampire. Can you help.

No. Please don’t ask me again.

Dear Juliette,

How does one turn into a Vampire?

Do you honestly think I’d tell you, a stranger, on this blog where thousands and thousands of people could read it? Seriously?

Dear Juliette,

I read the post about Nigel the Ghost and his class reunion. It got me thinking… I have my 30th class reunion coming up. What should I wear?

Thanks for reading my last post.

Good question. A class reunion is a time to show some class. Wear something you are comfortable in, yet flattering. Make sure whatever you wear fits correctly. Don’t try to squeeze into something too tight. In turn don’t wear something that fits you like a tent. A class reunion, especially after the ten year point, is not a time to try to be sexy. An attempt at being a hot mama will only make you look older and pathetic. Everyone WILL talk about you behind your back and not in a good way. But if you want to do something special like getting your make-up or nails done then go for it. If you feel good, you’ll look good. 

And guys, at least wear a button down shirt. A tie is always nice. Wear an undershirt. Nobody wants to see your chest hair or nipples. NOBODY. Skip the gold chains and over the top guy bling. 

Dear Juliette,

My 20th class reunion is coming up. Many of my classmates have spoken about their faith based lives and conservative values. At the same time about a dozen classmates have come out and are bringing their same-sex spouses. Should I tell people to be nice?

Some people, religious or not, are just assholes. Show support to the LBGT classmates. If you haven’t walked in their shoes you have no idea at what they have gone through to be accepted, and have the right to be married to the people they love. If anyone has a problem with that it is THEIR problem – and they are jerks. Not all faith based people have problems with someone being LBGT. In fact, most of my LBGT friends are people of faith. You asked, and I’m telling you what I think. 

 

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Thanks for dropping by. If you have a pressing question you know where to ask.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vampire Diary: Love Letters

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Dear Diary,

I do not understand the ways of love in this modern world. Not my love. I know my own cold un-beating heart. It is that of others I do not understand. It is not always women because Vampire women have always been of their own minds. They take what they want. We have no defenses. Not that we care, but I do not understand the men.

Oh what a night. My head still spins, but Dear Diary, stay with my thoughts no matter how confused I might seem on this page.

This modern world is strange indeed. Even Vampires play the fool now. It used to be that we, or most of us, were in control. Then I was sealed in a crypt for three hundred years. While I was there, and I am the Vampire King, what do they say now, all Hell broke loose. Vampires lost their minds and became weak. They lost track of their emotions. They became idiots. I am at a loss. Since I am Vlad, the Vampire King I will do my best to educate the young Vampires on the ways  of old.

Tonight I went out my favorite tavern. After mingling with the regulars I looked around and spotted a lone Vampire. Only I knew he was another Vampire. I had spoken to him before tonight, but that was before I knew how pathetic he had become.

He was a young Vampire, perhaps seventy years of age. Yet, he looked young, as I do. I am centuries old. The card I carry that enables me to drive an automobile without being taken to prison says I am thirty four years old. So I lie. I am a Vampire. It is what I do to keep warm blooded people from bothering me. We all do it. You would do the same. I would be crazy to admit I was born in the time modern historians call the Dark Ages.

My young Vampire friend, a fellow called Byron, sat in a back booth of a local bar, alone, with nothing but paper and a ball point pen. Ball point pens are a true modern marvel. He had a glass of red wine in front of him. His face carried an extreme look of sadness.

“What is this?” I asked pointing to the paper he was writing on.

He did not look up, “A legal pad.”

I was puzzled by his answer. “There is paper that is not allowed?”

Byron looked at me with his eyebrows together. “No. Legal pad, as in lawyers.”

“So James, you are writing law? What sort of law?”

“I’m writing a love letter. You should know all about that the way women love you.”

“Are love letters now something that is dictated by law?”

He took a swallow of his wine and spoke again. “No. Yellow paper is just called a Legal Pad because lawyers use it for their notes. Yellow is easy to find. Sheesh Vlad. I’m writing a love letter. Even if wasn’t legal I’d still be writing it.” His face was sad like a mourner at a funeral.

Then I looked upon the page in horror. What came from the head and heart of this man, this Vampire man was both appalling and terrifying.

My darling Lydia,

I long for you company. I am lonely and need you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I sit alone in this bar thinking about nothing but you. Why won’t you love me? Why won’t you notice me? I am here. I hold my hand out to you to come with me. Be by my side. Be my Vampire Queen. Make me complete. My life is a failure without you. Please, it has been so long since I have had a woman in my life. I need you.

“What is this?” I asked.

He gave me a long sad look like a guilty dog who has stolen a man’s dinner off of the table. “I told you man, I’m writing a love letter.”

“This is no love letter. This is a letter of a worm. This is the letter of a man who is not a man but a weak pathetic boy who still longs for his mother’s milk.”

His mouth hung open in surprise. “Vlad I’m not a pervert.”

“Good,” I said.  “That is a trait that will not attract women.”

He shook his head. “No, man, I don’t want my mom’s boobs. I’m not into that.”

“You are an idiot. That is what is called an analogy. It means you have the emotions of a baby.”

Again he looked surprised as if he had never heard the truth before. “What do you mean?”

If I did not carry the title of Vampire King I would have rolled my eyes like a teenage girl. “Byron, please look at the words you put upon your page. No woman, especially a Vampire woman, would respond well to those words. If she is wise she will either ignore you, or better yet, put you out of your misery. Maybe I should put you out of your misery. Your paper may be legal but the pathetic words that you write break every law of romance.”

“Well, I don’t know what to write. I mean, you’re like scary good looking. Every woman in this place thinks you’re the cutest guy they’ve ever seen,” Byron said, looking as if he was about to cry tears.

I did not ask him what he meant by scary good looking. I am good looking but I am not scary looking. As I said, he is an idiot. I know I am cute. I do not understand it, but that is what all of the women who meet me say both to my face and behind my back. Kittens are cute. Babies are cute. I am neither a kitten or a baby. Byron acts like a baby and that is not cute. I am still trying to understand.

I put my hand on his shoulder. He shuttered at my touch. “I am not going to hurt you. I am going to help you,” I said in a low voice.

“Are you going to make her love me?”

“If I do try to make Lydia love you she will hate me forever, but yes, I will try,” I said.

I put pen upon paper and wrote….

Dear Lydia,
I think of you and I smile. When we speak with each other I feel content. Our words flow together as if we are writing a musical about thoughts and ideas to be shared. I feel comfortable around you, as if a century passed our conversations would continue to be fresh, and enlightening. I am glad we met. It would honor me if you would join me in a night under the stars. I look forward to hearing from you.

I put down the pen then I looked up at Byron. “This is but a start. Do not make your attempt at courtship about you. Make it about the woman you wish to be with. This is not about your emotions but about hers. If she agrees to spend time with you, and only then, do you tell her your own feelings. When you tell her how you feel do not act as if you are starving for blood after a year buried in a grave. Act as though you are in control. Be…what do they say now…be an adult about it. Be mature. Not like cheese but like wine. Like a real man.”

I thought to myself that my brain was going to liquify and drain out of my ear if I had to spend another moment with Byron, so I excused myself. This was not what I had planned on doing tonight. Byron thanked me. He told me he would keep me informed of the outcome of his attempt at attracting Lydia. I do not know this Lydia but I am tempted to tell her to run as far away as she can.

~ Vlad

 

Dear Diary,

Tonight we have our veins full of blood, and our hearts full of love. We might be Vampires, but we are also very much alive.

I lay next to my lover Gillian, watching her in a cold silent slumber. You are so beautiful my love I whisper. She silently smiles and rolls over to face me. I stroke her shoulder and run my hand along her bare arm. I kiss her neck, barely scraping her skin with the tips of my fangs. She signs, and then melts into my arms like ice in the summer sun.

I have nothing more to say.

~ Vlad

 

Romantic Lovers

This picture isn’t really Vlad and Gillian but just for today you can pretend it is. For the complete  Vlad’s Vampire Diary CLICK HERE.

Ask Juliette: Your Child’s Reputation, Man-Children, and Vampire Midlife Crisis

Welcome to Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire) – a Regular Feature here at Vampiremaman.com
This week we’ll discuss what to do if your child gets mixed up with a crappy kid, dating a man who still sleeps in his childhood bedroom, and Vampire woes. If you have a questions, about anything, leave a comment here, or email me at juliettevampiremom at gmail dot com.

Q: My ten year old son started hanging out with one of the class trouble makers (Willie.) Willie is disruptive in class, and doesn’t do well in school. Willie’s parents play the blame game and are always at school threatening to sue. Basically Willie is a spoiled brat. Last week my son got into trouble while playing with Willie and was almost suspended. Willie’s parents said, “boys will be boys” but I’m not sure. When Willie cries to the teachers when he is not included in play so my son feels he is in a bind. Willie also lies about other kids when they won’t play with him. How can I keep my good boy away from the bad boy?

A: You need to sit down with your child and have one of those talks. This time it will be about responsibility and reputation.

Your child needs to learn that he is responsible for his own actions. He can make the choice NOT to play with Willie. If the adults at the school say otherwise you need to have a FIRM talk with them. Teachers and administrators need to know that Willie is a bully and you will not allow your child to play with him. Your son should be nice and polite but he can’t be forced to play with Willie unless it is a group activity with the class. Start keeping a record of times Willie has bothered your child.

If the teacher will do nothing see if your kid can be transferred to another class. I know it doesn’t seem fair, but sometimes that is the only option.

I’ve never understood why schools protect trouble makers and bullies at the expense of other children. It might be because their parents are always at the school trying to make excuses and even threatening the school. I will never understand that.

Then talk to your son about REPUTATION. Once a person loses their good reputation it is almost impossible to get it back. I had this talk with my own children. They need to know that if they make poor choices that everyone else will now expect them to ALWAYS make poor choices. It is just how things are.

As a parent you CAN and NEED TO monitor who your kids hang out with and who their friends are. Remember this – your child can’t bring someone up. Bad kids can only bring your child DOWN. I know that sounds harsh but it is the way things are. YOU are the PARENT. It is your job to guide your child and teach him to make GOOD choices.

 

Q: I started dating a guy. He is super nice, cute, and looks good on paper. The problem is that his bedroom is decked out in red and gold. I’m not talking satin sheets. These are the colors of his favorite team. The walls are covered with posters. The lampshades are football helmets. The bed is a single bed with a plain red think cotton bed spread with football shaped pillows. He mentioned his mom and grandma helped him out with it. This would be a fun room for a twelve year old, but not for a thirty year old. The football decor also creeps into the kitchen and living room of his apartment. I had sex with him once in his bedroom. It wasn’t what I’d call great because I felt like his mother was going to walk in on us any minute, and well, it was a twin bed. I over reacting because I want to be involved with an adult man? Or should I just see this as an opportunity to take him on a field trip to Ikea?

A: If he passes up on the Ikea field trip (even Target or Home Goods would be a nice start) you need to have a heart to heart talk to him. If living with Joe Montana is a deal breaker then maybe you’d better change your game and move on.

The future of living with anything you hate will cause more stress than you can ever imagine (be it a relative, a decorating style, ugly dishes, a bad dog, or a group of shitty immature friends, or whatever.) Sure he could display a few prized football items, but if you don’t want to “score” in the red and gold bedroom with him anymore I don’t blame you.

Q: What do I have to do to turn into a Vampire?

A: Nothing because it isn’t going to happen.

Q: How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

A: Stop asking me that.

Q: Is there such a thing as a Vampire Midlife Crisis? My friend Tim keeps wanting to do things like go back to high school or college so we can pick up on unsuspecting girls. Going to a college bar is one thing, but going to class and pretending we’re fresh out of high school is just too predatory and creepy for me. I told Tim that we’re both over two hundred years old – too old for this shit. What do you think?

A: I think you’re too old for that shit. Remember, you’re Vampires, which means you can have more fun than any human is ever allowed without being creepy or predatory.

 

Well, I hope I answered all of your questions for this week. Ask Juliette is a semi-regular feature here at vampiremaman.com

If you have a question about ANYTHING leave it in the comments here OR email me at juliettevampiremom at gmail dot com.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No time to be jealous

Do you ever have those days, like when your friend calls and says, “Pick me up. PLEASE.”

And it’s a full moon. So you pick him up.

And your friend is a Werewolf.

And you say, “What if you turn back into a man?”

And he says, “You’ve seen me naked.”

And I have, a long time ago.

And I know that because my husband is a Vampire he’ll understand. We all do. It was like the time, before I was married, that a couple of drunk girls called my husband at 2:00 a.m. and I said, “GO, make sure they’re safe. Take them home. I’ll see you in a bit.” And I did. And the girls were impressed.

This is something we have to teach our kids. You can’t be involved with someone who is so jealous and insecure that they can’t accept the fact that sometimes you just have to do the right thing and help out a friend in need. It isn’t like this sort of thing happens all the time. With young people it happens more often.

We always tell our kids and their friends that they can call us anytime of the day or night, no questions asked. We just want them to be safe.

That’s all. Just a something to think about.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman