Short Story Sunday: Small Talk

Tangled Tales

Small Talk

The woman with the Mamie Eisenhower bangs and Cleopatra eye liner took a sip of sparkling wine and said, “I think they should all go to jail. Every single one of them.”

Max glanced over and smiled. Her high child-like voice made his head hurt. He knew she’d cultivated that sound for years. What the fuck was wrong with some people? She smiled back at him and winked.

Walking though the room he picked up bits and pieces of conversations. Always the charmer, he’d smile and blink his eyes one time in a way that would seduce the dead. Well, the living too. He smiled at his own joke.

Just two hours before he’d been with Mehitabel, his hands in her hair, his mouth on hers, her legs around…

“Max?”

He turned at the sound of his name.

“Max, so glad you could make it. You seemed deep in thought. Hope I didn’t disturb you.”

“You’d never disturb me Marc.” Max gave his old friend a one armed bro-hug.

“So when is the wedding?”

“I’m not sure. We’re still working on it.”

“Don’t take too my man long or she’ll run.”

It had been almost two years since Max asked Mehitabel to marry him. Then again why hurry? He’d been involved with her on and off for the past one hundred and forty nine years, since she was twenty and he was twenty one. A few more years wouldn’t make a difference.

Max spoke with Marc a bit more and moved on towards the bar. He glanced over to where Tim Peoples stood surrounded by an audience.

“Oh my god, Max,” said a woman, breaking herself away from Tim’s group. “How are you?” She kissed him on the cheek. He gave her a hug and a dazzling Max smile.

“Great. How are you Lydia?” He hoped it was Lydia. It could have been Linda.

“Good. How about this house? Fantastic isn’t it.”

“Beautiful,” said Max. “I need to find out who their interior designer is.” He couldn’t believe those words just came out of his mouth.

“If I find out I’ll let you know,” said Lydia, then she squeezed his arm and moved on.

“Max,” Tim called out. “Come over here.”

Max cringed inside but smiled. “Hey, Tim. Good to see you.”

Tim leaned inclose to Max, “Check out the ass on that one,” he said as he pointed out a woman in a tight green dress. “That is my goal for tonight. Hey, did you hear about my new car?” Tim showed a picture on his smart phone to Max.  “Eighty Thousand dollars worth of pure testosterone. What are you driving these days? Still wasting your time in that truck?”

Max’s friend Jayne took his arm. “Sorry Tim, I have to borrow Max for a bit.” She led Max away from the group. “Women used to find Tim attractive but not much anymore.”

“Being a douche takes the finish right off of those rose colored goggles,” said Max.

“Indeed it does. Where’s my girl tonight?”

“Mehitable? Um, she’ll might be here in a bit. She said she had a few things to take care of first.”

“She hates these things.”

“So do I.”

“Why’d you come then?”

“Had to. It was expected. If I didn’t show it would be noticed.”

Jayne shrugged. So far she was the only other Vampire there. Later there might be more. Max hoped there would be more. He hated events where he couldn’t be himself. Being charming was never a problem, it just wasn’t always enjoyable.

At the bar Max got a Martini that was all gin and an olive. Jayne ordered a Bloody Mary with an extra shot of vodka.

The two old friends scanned the room.

“So what do you think?” Max asked. “You hungry?”

“What? Dinner?”

“Sure. Dinner. I don’t think Mehitabel is going to show. We have to eat somewhere.”

“Let’s go somewhere else,” said Jayne. “The menu here is kind of boring.”

“Indeed it is,” said Max, downing his drink. “Let’s go.”

Jayne smiled and took his arm, as they went out into the night and away from a night of endless small talk.

~ end

 

 

 

Small Talk

I’m either in jeans and a sweatshirt or a little black dress. Or jeans and a black tee shirt. Or something black. I know, I’ve said things that go against the grain of stereotypical Vampire stuff, but I’m both practical and lazy. They’re classics. All classics.

This morning I met with Cody, my young thirty something friend who is fairly new to being a Vampire. I can’t believe it has been four years. Anyway, he showed up with a man bun, a red plaid jacket, and a rather unflattering beard. He had the lumbersexual look down to a tee.

“Cody,” I told him, “most Vampire men avoid beards.” I didn’t add for obvious reasons. “Why cover that handsome face of yours?”

Then I gave him the look. You know that look that says you’re wonderful and you’re an idiot all at the same time.

And just as he was about to tell me my glasses were dirty I said, “If they weren’t dirty you wouldn’t know it was me.”

That unnerved him a bit. He still isn’t quite used to me grabbing his thoughts out of his head before he can find a polite way to express them. I took off my still dark glasses and buffed them out with my shirt (yes I do that too.)

We sat outside, sipping our coffee under an umbrella, and watching people walk by.

Cody, usually confidant, looked down at his hands, then looked into my face. “How do you deal with it? Being so different.”

“You mean being a Vampire or being Juliette?”

He laughed. “A Vampire.”

“Being a Vampire is easy. Being Juliette is much much more difficult. Are you having creature of the night issues?”

“Not really, but it still seems weird sometimes. I have a girlfriend who lived before the printing press was invented. At least she likes my hair.”

“I love your hair.”

I didn’t take the opportunity to mention his girlfriend is my great great great great grandmother. I’ve never mentioned it to him, or her. They’re happy. Besides, she looks younger than him.

We talked a while, just small talk and coffee.

My phone started to ding.

 

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I had to smile. My dear college boy was making contact.

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“Do you feel like a real Vampire Cody?” I’d never asked anyone that before.

“I do. Thanks for asking. It shows you care.”

I smiled. I might be cold blooded but I’m not cold hearted.

So today’s parenting tip is to do what you can to help your kids feel comfortable with who they are. Make them feel welcome in their own skin. And be there for them – even after they’re grown. Sometimes you just need to be around others who know who and what you are.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Small Talk

“She just stood there,” my brother Val told me. “Her neck exposed and her hair swept up. When she turned around and smiled at me I had to taste her.”

“So lunch was good?”

“Looked better than she tasted, my God she looked great, but you know how it is sometimes. Not the best but good. Where’d you go?”

“I know a couple of lobbyist downtown by the Capitol building. Oh my gosh one was AB+ with a pretty high alcohol level. If I wasn’t married…”

Then we both laughed.

“That good?”

“Just about. I should take you with me next time.”

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman