“You always end up somewhere,” said the Ghost leaning on the edge of the table as he watched me attempt to write.

As soon as he materialized I completely lost my train of thought. It is the same when my husband is around. I can’t think of anything. The words get lost no matter if I’m writing a business correspondence, a note to a friend, or a novel.

“Even if you sit still and do nothing you’ll end up somewhere. It might not be where you’d like to be, but it will be somewhere. And it might just be where somebody else would like to be.”

“Just shut the fuck up,” I growled at him, showing some fangs. He just pisses me off to no end.

“You’re so rude, even for a Vampire,” he said, his voice going higher on the word “rude” then lowering again in a condescending way.

“I’m working on something. You need to leave,” I told him.

“You’re in a creative dead zone, no pun intended.”

“If you’re done you can leave.”

He just stood and stared at me.

“Go haunt someone else,” I told him.

“But I like haunting you,” he said with a smile.

So far everything today has been sidetracked. It started out with blood stains and cat barf on the carpet, then went on to changes in my schedule due to everyone, then just when I’m trying t wrap my brain around some brilliant thoughts Nigel, the dead man, the Ghosts, shows up.

Nigel looked at my computer. “That looks good. But what do you mean you can’t write when I’m looking at you?”

“You’re a distraction.”

The radio played in the background. We both heard insane political news that sounded like it was out of a bad movie.

“You know, the year I died things weren’t as scary as they are now, but some things haven’t changed. There was bombing in the Middle East. It was Libya. Back at home postal worker shot fourteen of his coworkers. We had no idea that it was just the beginning of…holy shit. Then I had some posters made up for an art show. When I got to the printer he was making a batch of flyers proclaiming that George Bush, the first George Bush was the Anti Christ. The Vice President of the US was the Anti Christ. Man, that guy had NO IDEA. If he was afraid then, then he should be afraid now. True story. I kid you not. Damn, I missed the fall of the Berlin wall.”

“You missed a lot of things,” I told him.

“Reality TV. I swear, just because someone is on reality TV doesn’t mean that they know what reality is. Far from the truth. They are as far removed from reality as a human can get. And they think they can run things. ”

“That is why Vampires don’t have their own television shows,” I told my ghostly friend.

“Just the opposite, nobody knows you exist. They think you’re just normal folks.”

“We’re more normal than you think. At least we’re honest about our blood sucking.We are not the ones people should fear.”

“Good point Vampire. Maybe I should get my own Ghost show.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

Then Nigel the Ghost laughed and vanished in a crackle of static electricity.

My brain is still on off mode. Or maybe it is just full.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


don't be a ghost


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