Vote

Vote.

Vote for the young people and their future.

Don’t vote on one issue. Vote for the big picture.

Your vote matters.

Get the facts. I’m sure the shock jock on the radio or a Sunday morning preacher hasn’t done as much research as YOU need to do.

I should hope all of my readers are voting and know all of this. This election matters. It matters for ALL of us.

Keep up the fight.

Be smart.

Read. Seriously READ.

Do research from reliable sources.

Don’t be a dick.

Be kind.

Keep your eyes open.

We shall see what happens.

In the meantime……

I already voted so I’m going wine tasting today.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vlad’s Vampire Diary: Fashion and Foreboding

Dear Diary,

A sense of foreboding surrounded me. I could feel the darkness and cold grievous glares of unforgiving eyes in the darkness. The anguished cries grew louder and louder. There was no escape. No place to run. I knew I must take action. It was time to feed the cats.

~ Vlad

Dear Diary,

I am now 677 years old. Earlier this week I got out of bed as soon as the sun went down, then I put on my jeans and a tee shirt. That was not what I would have worn 677 years ago. 

After being locked in a crypt for three hundred years, missing the 18th– 20thcenturies, and coming out now I find fashion and clothing these days extraordinary and at times baffling. 

Zippers. I have no words for zippers. I do not know what I would do now without zippers.

Shoes called sneakers. Sneakers. I like the sound of that. Sneakers.

As a Vampire I appreciate clothing that is easily removed. I appreciate women who do not wear thirty-seven layers of clothing during the day and night.

Of course when I was King of Vampires I dressed better than most. I mostly missed the clothing I wore at the time I was kidnapped, locked in a crypt, and left for dead with a stake in my heart. It still hurts when I think about it. 

This is how everyone dressed when I was born.

This is how I dressed at the time I was locked in the crypt. I looked better than this. This picture is not of me.

This is how I would have looked had I been out of the crypt during the 19thCentury. It is close to my likeness.

This is an image of my friend Randolpho and his ridiculous hat in the 1850’s. It was a time I wish I had not missed.

This is how I look now, but this picture is not of me. It is how men look now. I do not have dark hair or whiskers. I might grow whiskers. It is difficult to have whiskers when one is a Vampire. I do like the dark glasses and wear dark glasses always.

This is how couples looked in 2019. Notice that he is not wearing tights. There are creatures called Superheroes who DO wear tights but in this century they look extremely ridiculous.

This is how couples look in 2020.

Fashion is one change I can live with as long as there are zippers.

Technology makes our lives easier. The clothing is also easier. One would think that it would be the opposite effect. 

~ Vlad

Dear Diary,

The days have started to cool. The election; the celebration of death and monsters is almost upon us. No, that is not right. The celebration of death and monsters is Halloween. The election is the day to attempt to rid the land of monsters yet I do not see that happening. It was easier when I was King of Vampires. Then again there have always been an abundance of fools and an abundance of those who wish to have that job.

This year has been the second United States of America presidential election year since my liberation from the crypt in which I was trapped for those long three hundred years. I live within the United States of America and have lived here long enough to become a citizen of this country so I will vote. Gillian my Vampire lover told me that if we go to the local voting center the Sunday before the official Tuesday election day that we can drop off our votes and not wait in long lines.

I feel excited to vote yet no so much as I believe that people are too sad and too angry to make intelligent decisions. Gillian said it is because I did not live among people during times of great revolution and during the World Wars, or live behind a curtain made of iron, or in a land with a dick tator. I do not know what penis shaped tubers have to do with being an evil leader but it seems to somewhat make sense that that is the name in which someone like that was given. As King of Vampires I would never been called evil or unjust. Gillian says I need to read more and brought me a large bag of books which I shall start reading tonight.

I know my head will feel as if it is full of maggots but I shall read of evil but also read of redemption and short lived celebrations. We live in a world in which women no longer wear thirty seven layers of clothing or have children until they die. Yes, there was a time when a man would marry a woman who would then give birth to child after child until she died. Then he would marry another younger woman who would then give birth until she died. There might be three, four or even five wives. That would continue until the man died or his current wife poisoned him. It was no way for a woman to live.

Vampires have always married for love. That is a concept which took centuries to be adopted by the general warm blooded populations. Even now there is much fighting over what women are allowed to do. This makes no sense to me. I say if someone tells a woman what she can do or can not do than his head should go on a pole. Maybe it is not only my cuteness, golden hair, or muscled arms and shoulders that make women attracted to me. Maybe it is my mind.

So out I go now to look for blood. I shall wear my mask and be a modern man. There are times when I just do not know. I just do not know at all. At least I have cats. Cats always know. Cats know everything.

~ Vlad

Kissed by a Vampire

This has been the 64th installment of Vlad’s Vampire Diary. Click HERE to read all of Vlad’s thoughts from the start.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Attending Marvels, Parenting, Smoke, Fire, Flying in the Age of Covid-19 and Stupid Stuff.

The fires in California and the Covid-19 Pandemic continue to rage on. 

This morning #45, a man with a name I shall not mention because I will go into an angry rage, was in town to tell us what we are doing wrong, spreading ignorance and generally making a horrible situation even worse.

Before he arrived I was lucky enough to catch a plane going 500 miles south of my hometown. 

I usually don’t comment on politics but after raising my children in a time when school shootings was a common occurrence I feel I can say whatever I want. Anyway his is MY blog.

Between Sacramento and Long Beach there was nothing but smoke. I looked out the window of the plane for an hour. I can usually see farmlands, mountains, cities, small towns, and even Half Dome in Yosemite National Park. Today I saw nothing but smoke until we were just a few minutes from the Long Beach airport.

Since I’m visiting my children, and since I’m the mom I was tasked with bringing a few items with me. One was coffee. Apparently nobody in Southern California has coffee as good as Sacramento’s own Chocolate Fish Coffee. Another was roller skates. The average pair of competition custom dance skates with wheels weighs about 378 pounds. At least it feels like that trying to haul them around an airport and get them through security. Now you know why skaters have such great legs. Those skates are heavy.

Due to the pandemic the plane was only half way full. All middle seats were empty. I was the only one in my section. 

As I pulled out my tote bag I discovered I’d left my book at the airport. It was a well worn copy of one of my favorite books of all time: Attending Marvels: A Patagonian Journal by George Gaylord Simpson. The book is a journal about finding dinosaur bones in early 1930’s Patagonia. It isn’t just about the bones. Simpson brilliantly introduces the reader to the wide variety of people he meets (exotic and not so exotic) and most of all introduces us to the fantastic and almost unreal Patagonian landscape. I love this book above almost all others. It had such an influence on me. I can’t explain it because I usually don’t dig for bones. On the other hand I’m always up for adventure. If you can check the book out at the library or you can get a cheap copy on eBay. 

Luckily I’m one of those people who can sit on a plane for an hour and a half and do things in my head. I looked at the tops of the heads of the other passengers. I listened. There wasn’t as much talking at all – not like before the days of Covid-19. But up front I noticed there were two Vampires sitting together speaking quietly in a mixture of the old Vampire language and English. One had honey blonde hair and the other a dark auburn. I didn’t know them or introduce myself. It was just an observation. I didn’t feel like meeting anyone new today or invading their space.

I’m down here for a week with my children. They’re busy but getting weary of the smoke, the pandemic, the feelings of unresolved social injustice, and the environmental mess ignored and left up to them to fix. 

One is spending her senior year of college and working online. The other just received a gradate degree and is working online and trying to start a business with his best buddy from childhood.

Sure they’re Vampires, as are most of their closest friends, but the same things weigh heavy on them that weigh heavy on all young people these days.

When I return home I’ll replace the windshield wipers on my car that have been ruined from the ashes and grit that has rained from the sky. I’m thankful that it is somewhat clear here. It is still smoky but I can see real sunlight. 

While I’m home I’ll savor my time with my children and try to forget everything except us. I’m here, as always, to give them support, and love, and to make them smile.

I’ll have more on our adventures as the week progresses.

Stay safe, wear a mask, turn off the news, be kind to others and yourself. And if you get a chance kiss a Vampire.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Unsavory Elements: Lockdown Edition

I’m in California. I know you already knew that. We’re on lockdown again. This is all so exceptionally weird.

Don’t even think for one moment this isn’t a boon for the paranormal community, and I’m not just talking Vampires. I’m thinking about the more unsavory elements of the world most people can’t or won’t see.

It seems that many of the Changlings switched by Goblins 40-70 years ago have started speaking up and started loudly spreading hate and conspiracy theories about Covid-19. They’re saying it is just a normal cold or flu, or that it doesn’t exist at all. They’re saying that they’ll die if they have to wear a mask. They’re being the adult Goblins in the guise of humans.

Most Ghosts are just lurking around as always in hope that too many new Ghosts won’t come of of this situation. There is a fine balance in the world of spirits. The Ghosts would rather just keep the status quo.

The Demons are lurking around Washington D.C. and in the state capitols seeing who has a soul to sell, or who is looking to buy. They’re vile nasty creatures in their own skin, but they can transform themselves to whatever seductive form is necessary for them to get their target. Demons know how to stroke egos, built up anger in the heart of any man, or fill a soul with unreasonable blind hate. Then again there are those who seek out Demons to help with their perverse fetishes and dreams of power. Many of them can be found in mega-churches, political rallies, and other places where there are so many sheep are ripe for the slaughter.

Of course there are always the soulless Shadow Creeping Vampires who are but husks of the people they once were, putting on their best behavior to take advantage of fear and loneliness.

So beware of things that go bump in the night, but most of all be afraid of things that don’t bump.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Short Story Sunday: The Melting

“We have to think of ancient times. Slaves were more of a social class than what we think of slaves. They could live comfortable lives within a hierarchy. If they wished to stay where they were they’d be protected and always cared for. If they wanted to move up they could buy their freedom. With this kind of system we could rebuild with unlimited labor. We could have a society that we are proud of. No mistakes this time. It is Biblical and proven. Everyone would know their place.”

 As I listened to the cheering of the political influencers from my hiding place in the great hall I grew cold. I grew angry. Non-influencers were not allowed but I managed to get inside unnoticed. I was always unnoticed. It is both a skill and a talent.

I was born in 1999, the last year of the 20thCentury. I was on the tail end of the Millennials. We were supposed to save our planet but the damage had been done. The minds of millions had either been ignored to atrophied, or poisoned by fear, bigotry and the blind embracing of ignorance.

Things were bad, but slavery? I thought that same about so many things. I questioned everything.

Columbine happened the year I was born. I grew up in a world of tragic school shootings. When I was young my mother would pick me up from school with tears in her eyes. Later when I was in high school I’d hear about shootings before she’d get me.

So there I was, a recent college graduate, the class of 2021, with a degree in International Studies. It had been an honor to be invited to the World Solutions Conference in Washington DC. Unfortunately once I arrived nobody wanted to listen to my voice.

As I crouched behind a curtain listening to talk of slavery, male dominance, Biblical law, and the return to old antiquated values I found I was not alone. From seemingly nowhere a woman dressed in a white leather jacket, and black leather pants stood besides me. Her skin was while like an albino, her hair in glossy white bob, her eyes so black I couldn’t see her pupils.

She smiled at me and said, “The seal has been broken.” Then she put her hand on my shoulder. “Stay here. You aren’t among the chosen.” Then she laughed low under her breath and walked out into the chamber with the law makers.

“It is time,” she called out. “The seals have been broken.”

The law makers, mostly male, mostly old, looked upon her figure. Great wings came out from behind her back. The wings were huge. I have no idea where they came from.

She raised her hands and 90% of the people in the room liquified. The smell was beyond bad. I can’t even describe it except to say it was death.

I stood up, realizing that I’d just witnessed the Pale Rider. She was Death and the apocalypse was just beginning.

To make a long story short, I found three of my friends and we drove across country back to California. All I could think of was if my parents were alright and if I’d still get to go to graduate school. It’s weird what you think of when you’re in a panic, or after seeing things so strange and unbelievable.

A few weeks later, after most of the Earth’s human population was gone, the woman in white came back to see me.

“In the old texts, it is said that the good will rise and the bad will stay upon the Earth in their own Hell. When I met with my cohorts, the other horsemen and arc angels we decided that would be a logistical nightmare.”

“So you liquified the evil,” I said.

“More or less,” she told me. “It makes it easier for you to go forward.”

So forward I went. Now on the hundredth anniversary of The Melting things are good. We still have work to do, but we’re doing OK.

I still hear from the Pale Rider. Every few years or so she stops by to check in and make sure things are on track.

“You’re the first I’ve told of my relationship with the Pale Rider.” I smiled at my young great great grandchildren. “You know her as your great Aunt Emma. I bet you didn’t know that did you.”

Of course they didn’t.

“Well, darlings, I love you all but I have a country to run, and wonderful things to do today. Go out for a hike, or work on your college essays. I’ll see you back at dinner time.”

~ end

 

Note: This is just a sketch for a much more complex and detailed story. More to come soon. ~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Random Survey #1: Who has your vote? (PICK ME)

Random Surveys
A NEW Saturday Series from Vampire Maman

Happy 2020

These posts will feature random, useless, and unscientific surveys for absolutely no good reason at all.

 

Politics As Usual

Later this year there is going to be an election for the position of President of the United States. I don’t need to tell you about the cluster fuck it has become deciding who will get the office or stay in the office or go to jail. This insanity and nonsense has been going on for some time. We’ve heard about the childish tweets. We’ve seen the useless debates. We’re all sick and tired of it. Another revolution would be impractical and take too long. The voice of reason is nowhere to be heard. So what should we do now? Let’s vote TODAY!!!!

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Random Survey #1: If you were voting today for the office of President of the United States of America TODAY who would you vote for?

As an added bonus you don’t even need to be a citizen of the United States to answer, and you can select more than one answer. 

 

 

If you didn’t like any of these answers I really can’t help you. On the other hand you are welcome to leave your opinion, a comment, a joke, a story about your last vacation, tell us what your cat did this morning, or whatever you want – just put it in the comment section.

I will see you next Saturday for another RANDOM SURVEY. I promise it won’t be about politics.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman