Vampire musings on a cool sunny day.

About every few years someone calls my brother Aaron’s law office because someone wants to exhume them.

Let me back up a bit. Someone who is a Vampire wants Aaron’s help to prevent their empty grave from being dug up by well meaning family members (future generations) who feared their ancestor was murdered.

Luckily for us normal DNA testing won’t pick up that fact that someone is a Vampire. What it will do is make the Vampire with the empty grave become the closest relative.

I don’t know why I was even thinking about this today. When you’re a Vampire you need to think about these things. My advice is just to stay away from having a grave altogether if you must move on. Vampires just don’t have graves anymore. It makes things a whole lot easier.

Today I’ll be digging in my yard, not graves, but the spring garden. The annual explosion of flowers is also starting with tulips, daffodils, hyacinths, and bird of paradise flowers. The trees are also flowering. This flower explosion will continue through fall. This is not by chance, but a well planned effort. It is my well planned effort. I call it painting with flowers.

There are no bones in my yard, only river rocks and old roots. Sometimes the Ghosts Nigel and Mary will come out and visit with me while I work the dirt. The only thing I really have to worry about is the giant dog digging up everything. Thank goodness for tomato cages. All of the plants get tomato cages until they’re at full size.

From there I’ll clean off the decks with all of the mud and damage from the winter storms.

Sure, maybe Vampires should be living in crypts. It would be easy, but the quality of life is horrible. I can’t imagine anyone truly wanting to live that lifestyle.

So I’m off to dig under the trees, outside with the birds, and the dog, and whatever else comes my way before the next storm.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



Short Story Sunday: Back into the Past

Part 12 – Back into the Past (the Austin and Elizabeth story)

Bringing the past to life is the goal of every history professor. Austin decided to spend a cold Saturday morning going over a folder of old letters and documents that would bring light on the past.

He looked at the woman curled up asleep on the couch. Her hair was in a mussed up layered bob he wanted to run his hands through. She was beautiful. She was also 180 years old and a Vampire.

Why do research when you have a community full of people who live forever to get information from? Oh right, because they’re cold predators who’d rather not talk to you unless they need something. That something includes blood, preferrable warm fresh from your neck. The main reason was that saying you got your information from a Vampire would make everyone think you were nuts.

She was still without any signs of breathing or so much a heart beat. Austin wondered if Elizabeth needed the blanket or only had it for comfort.

There wasn’t much comfortable about his relationship with Elizabeth relationship except when they were alone. Since letting her into his life (or was it the other way around) he had been subjected to veiled threats and questions about his motives toward her by her kind. Surprisingly he’d never been attacked, at least not by her kind of Vampire – the civilized kind who lived among real people.

The thick white scar on his left wrist was a constant reminder of the other kind of Vampire. That was the kind he’d learned to eradicate. Even Vampires called him to get rid of the soulless shadow creeping husks of Vampires he’d find under the floor boards and in attics of old buildings. They knew, the Vampires knew that he knew what they were.

The morning had been spent reading over documents from a house he was restoring. Three bodies had been found. A young woman with an infant in her arms was found under the floorboards. Dressed in expensive silk, he could tell she must have once been beautiful. The tiny baby was maybe only a few weeks old. At first Austin assumed she’d died from complications of childbirth but she’d been shot in the heart, then dressed and under the boards of the house. The man was found with what looked like a self-inflicted gunshot wound was found about 20 feet away. By the clothing and expensive watch Austin could tell the man was well to do.

All assumptions Austin made about the couple were wrong. They’d did in 1853. Around 1890 a larger house had been built on the foundation of the older building. DNA proved that the man was the father of the child. It also proved that the mother of the child was his sister. Jesus Christ, it just kept getting weirder and weirder. He’d found an ambrotype of the attractive couple looking dignified and respectable. The letters about forbidden love were tragic and charming at first but now it was just creepy and sick.

Getting up from his desk Austin noticed Elizabeth was gone. Just like a cat she could get up and vanish without a sound.

Austin found her in the kitchen making tea. She stepped close to him and brushed his cheek with her cold lips. “Don’t think too much about the dead,” she said quietly.

Funny thing for a Vampire to think.

“I love my sister but I could never…I couldn’t even think about it.”

“They weren’t right Austin. There were forces and things going on that neither one of us could imagine.”

As he looked in her eyes he thought about the night before. He’d run his fingers along her lips than asked her to show him her fangs. Shit, it was a stupid rude thing to do. Everything about being with Elizabeth was confusing and not right. It wasn’t wrong – it just wasn’t right. Then again, nothing in his life had ever been so right.

He watched the woman who in a few minutes could drain his body of blood mix the right amount of honey and lemon into his tea. Sweet and sour, hot and cold, day and night – it was the mix that made their relationship right.

“Austin, you care about the people you research as if you were there,” she told him as she handed him his cup.

“You were there.”

“I’m here, now. Right now. Go drink your tea and finish up. I’m going back to sleep.”

Austin watched her curl back up on the couch and turn her face away from him. He went back to his notes and back into the past, at least for the next hour or two.





For the complete story of Austin and Elizabeth (from the beginning) check the links below.

Part 1: The Hunter

Part 2:  Memory of Distant Love

Part 3: Dark Dreams of the Hunted

Part 4: About Those Pesky Undead Folks

Park 5: The Hunt Continues

Part 6: Cold and Warm

Part 7: Date with a Vampire

Part 8: Crawl Space

Part 9: Dust and Desire

Part 10: One of Those Days…

Part 11: Even Vampire Hunters Get the Blues



Oh.. one more thing! Today, January 11 is Unicorn Appreciation Day. Blogs all over the universe are reminding us today.

To read all about my unicorn experience CLICK HERE.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Short Story Sunday: Even Vampire Hunters Get The Blues (Part 11 of the Austin and Elizabeth Story)

A wave swept over Austin and took him down to a dark place he hadn’t been for a long time. Finding a body of a woman and a baby was bad enough but then finding the other body, the more recent one with the face fixed in horror would haunt him for a while.

He set a recap of the day in motion. He’d gone to work, two bodies from the 1850’s were found in the building he was restoring. He’d gone for coffee and was stalked by a weird guy, a Vampire no less. A Vampire who warned him, almost threatened him. Austin didn’t get that one. Not time to think about it though because they’d found another body. It wasn’t a Vampire thank God. Just a dried up husk of a man who’d obviously taken his own life 150 years ago. He’d left it there and told his crew to take the rest of the day off paid and break for the weekend.

Then he’d gone shopping. Ho ho ho. An hour of buying pretty gifts for friends and even a red shirt to wear to a party was fun. It got his mind off of things.

Then he’d gone to visit his mother. She knew who he was. Soon she wouldn’t. Things had not been right for years. She wasn’t his mother anymore. It wasn’t just the Alzheimer’s. She’d changed after his dad died. Dad was funny. Mom was not. He wondered how they’d made their marriage work. Between the drama with his siblings and… his mom was still alive but he felt like an orphan. The home he’d grown up in seemed like a crypt to him. He didn’t feel like it was his anymore. Every time he went over there he forgot more of his childhood. The happy memories were erased and replaced with nothing. Seeing his mom sent him in a spiral to his own special private hell.

Flipping on the TV he put left over pizza in the oven then forgot about it until he smelled it burning. After cleaning up the mess and fixing a cocktail and feeding his sister’s dog (yes, he was taking care of a dog who seemed to do nothing but chew her own ass) he flicked on the TV.

Tangled was on. The animated Disney film about Repunzel took his attention. Austin the restoration expert, master carpenter and Vampire Slayer was watching Tangles, mesmerized by the music and cute animation. The last girl he dated said he reminded her of Flynn, the hero of the movie, a cute charming and dashing thief. Hardly. He wasn’t Flynn or any other hero. Not tonight.

“Hey Daisy,” he called the dog and put a Santa hat on her head and took a few pictures and posted them on Facebook.

He answered the phone to a sultry female voice with a slight South African accent. It was Ava. Lovely lovely deadly Ava. They’d once been involved when he first got involved with Vampire Hunters, Vampires and the strangeness that was now his life.

Ava had heard about the bodies and wanted to talk. She wanted to talk about his friendships with Vampires. They (Vampire Hunters) all, at least ones who were smart, had a few Vampires on their side. That wasn’t many of them. He told her about the woman and child and the man who had obviously shot himself.

“Poor thing,” said Ava of the dead man Austin had found, “died heartbroken over the death of his wife. Didn’t you have a girlfriend who died once?”

“Yes. She only died once.”

“Sorry love. Bad choice of words. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry she died, but I’m thankful she didn’t become a Vampire. It was 12 years ago. I didn’t even know Vampires existed back then.”

They talked more about old friends around the world. Austin used the word friends loosely in most cases. Ava and her husband Jacob were real friends, odd at times but real. She asked about his mother and he said everything was fine. She asked about his love life and he said he was seeing someone. He didn’t tell Ava the Vampire Hunter that he’d fallen in love with a Vampire. Then he asked about the strange Vampire Jason who had spoken to him earlier that day. Ava had never heard of him. Then she asked Austin if he’d like someone to come exterminate Jason. He declined the offer.

Ava sighed. “Vampires are our mission and our curse. They’re insufferable the way they get so self-righteous about their lifestyles and their souls. Oh God, the souls. Two, three, four souls or more. “

“I’ve heard from reliable sources it is two.”

“They’ll tell you anything. I try to only exterminate the soulless ones but some of the others, the ones gone rogue… they’re the worst. Vampires without souls are stupid. The ones who still have some sort of intact sense of self are dangerous and vain and… I don’t know why I even bother except the fact that someone needs to keep track of them.”

Ava told him about a situation she’d been in a few months back. It was horrific but Austin wasn’t in the mood for it. All he could think of was his headache and how he just wanted to zone out in front of the TV for a few hours then go to bed and sleep the entire day on Sunday.

Then Ava said, “You need to be careful Austin. You’ve become too close to them.”

He’d heard it all before.

“I’m not close to them. They’re fucking scary. “

They both laughed then he told her he had to go.

After he got off the phone Austin thought of Elizabeth, his Vampire lover, for the first time that night. She could heat him up unlike any human woman. He’d thought about calling Elizabeth but…it didn’t seem like the kind of night she’d understand.

He made another gin and tonic without the tonic water and watched the end of Tangled then turned on a show about unlikely animal friendships. He was in an unlikely animal friendship. Like an owl and a cat, or a lynx and a deer, he was in a relationship with a Vampire.

He was in more than a relationship with a lot of Vampires. His attorney was a Vampire. He knew the Vampire’s Vampire sister. Austin never told Ava that his attorney’s brother was the one who put the long thin scars across her neck and face. Vampires were all over the city he called home. Not thousands, but at least 100 of them were out there in their smug little local community.

He closed his eyes. The visions of the dead wouldn’t go away. The body that morning, the man with the gun in his dead hand… the woman with the baby.

Austin plugged in the Christmas tree lights and went to the kitchen for another gin and tonic without the tonic. Just as he was cutting another hunk off of a lime the doorbell rang. It was too late for missionaries or UPS.

There she stood in a red dress, pale skin, hair up with a diamond clip and looking absolutely beautiful and cold.

“Is this a bad time?’ She asked because he didn’t even smile at her.

“Uh, no, I just didn’t expect… come in. How’d you know where I live?”

It was her first time he and he hadn’t invited her. He’d been to her house, more than once. He’d driven by more times than he’d admit to himself. This was sick. It was more than sick. She was a Vampire.

“I was out for dinner with friends and…”

“Dinner with friends or did you have friends FOR dinner?”

Elizabeth laughed like sweet Christmas music. She could be shy and seductive in ways he never knew existed.

“Your house was featured in a home tour last year. You told me about it so I looked it up. I’m not stalking you Austin. I was in the area. I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

“I am. Want something to drink? I’m having gin without the tonic.”

She followed him into the kitchen. “What is going on? You seem, well, different.”

He leaned against the counter and looked her up and down. “If I kiss you will it taste like blood?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Did you have your lips on somebody else’s neck tonight?”

“On their wrist. Austin, maybe I should go.”

Suddenly Austin felt as cold and dried up as the bodies he’d seen that morning. “Stay. I’m sorry. I had a bad day. I need you to stay.” He stepped closer and kissed her. “Right now nothing makes sense except you.”

They sat on the couch and talked into the night while the program about mismatched animal friends played in the background.

Later as Austin led Elizabeth up to his bedroom he thought maybe it wasn’t bad to be mismatched, even if it was to a Vampire. Being soul mates with a girl with two souls could be a good thing. A very good thing.









For the complete story of Austin and Elizabeth check the links below.

Part 1: The Hunter

Part 2: A Memory of Distant Love

Part 3: Dark Dreams of the Hunted

Part 4: About Those Pesky Undead Folks

Park 5: The Hunt Continues

Part 6: Cold and Warm

Part 7: Date with a Vampire

Part 8: Crawl Space

Part 9: Dust and Desire

Part 10: One of Those Days…