Everything Will Be Alright

My kids are adults and missing out. The elder one won’t have a graduation for grad school and is having angst over just being an adult. The youngest is hunkering down and thriving. I was going to write about it all today but my brain is in other places and finding it difficult. Writing about adult children isn’t as easy as writing about high school and middle school kids.

I’m going to take the dog for a long walk and hope we don’t get rained on. If we do get rained on that is ok too, I guess. Also my computer is on the blitz. The mouse isn’t working – or I guess I should say mice. Both the touch pad and the regular logitech mouse just aren’t able to communicate with my MacBook and the computer repair guys are closed. Ugh. But everything will be alright.

This post was first published in 2014, but the message still rings true.

~ Juliette

 

Everything Will Be Alright

My life is absolutely jam-packed full. But there were times when I was alone in almost every sense of the word. There were times that might have been hailed as opportunities and all I could see was a bottomless pit. There were times when I took opportunities and so the saying goes, ran with it. I ran as far as I could go. Everything eventually changes. Nothing stays the same except maybe our love and I hope our humor.

As a rule I’m reserved around my new clients, that is new Vampires. Yes, just turned a few months ago. She was doing well. Rather pragmatic and accepting about it. As with most of them it wasn’t what they expected. Then again, most of life isn’t what we expect until we’ve been around for a while and gathered that old moss of experience and wisdom.

Willow had family here and there. Her parents had divorced and started new families when she was about ten. She never saw them much or kept track of them. She had lived with an uncle who’d since passed away. None the less Willow made it through high school and college then on to a career. Then life and love imploded around her. It happens to all of us. She thought of jumping off a bridge but didn’t do it. She was thinking of a lot of things one night when she was seduced by a man who turned out not to be like her. And well, her life changed a lot more dramatically than she could have ever imagined, for Willow had been turned into a Vampire.

It was more complicated than that, but that isn’t the point of this story. The point is that I am in charge of helping Willow finally make the adjustment of living on her own, in a new world. A new life if you want to call it that.

I’d introduce her to the community of the night and teach her to know who is safe and who is not. I’d continue to give her instructions and watch over her until she was ready to be completely on her own.

She was surprised that we (Vampires) were for the most part not the creatures of dark brooding novels and movies. OK we can be dark and brooding and we’re pretty good at it, but the point is that we, like everyone else, just want to be happy. We want to fit in. We need to care and know we’re cared for. That is the Modern Vampire way, and the way for most people, no matter what exactly they might be.

That morning we stopped by a small cottage like house I’d found for her to live in.

As we entered the front door she a look about in a cautious sort of way, kind of like a cat after all the furniture has been moved around.

“Nobody will miss me. Not really. I mean after I died.” She looked out the window into the mid-morning fog.

I put my hand on her shoulder. “This is the beginning Willow. You’re not dead.”

“I…” she started to say, but I cut in.

“This isn’t suicide. It is just being here in a different way. You’ll make it positive. You’ll find success. You’ll find love.”

WIllow looked around some more inside then out back at the small garden. She smiled, careful not to show any fangs.”

We then took my truck in search of furniture and other household items she needed to get started with her new life.

She asked if she could get a cat. Of course. On the way home we stopped by the shelter, the city pound, where she picked out a three-year old tabby with white paws named Jeeves. She said she’d help someone else make a new start too – that they’d do it together – Willow and Jeeves.

I turned on some music in the car and intentionally played “The Middle” by the band Jimmy Eat World. It is one of my son’s favorite songs. It seemed like the right song to play for Willow.

In most cases, no matter how melancholy things seem, it will get better. The stars will continue to shine, cats will purr and new friends will make bonds that last for years.

I try to teach that to my own children who will all too soon be leaving home to go off to college, alone, that there will be times when they’ll feel lost. But they have a good navigation system and they’ll always find their way. Maybe not where they thought they would be going but with any luck they’ll always end up where they are supposed to be.

As I watched Willow unload Jeeves the cat and hold him in her arms, I had a feeling that she was exactly where she was supposed to be too.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

The Middle

Jimmy Eats World – Songwriters: ADKINS, JAMES CHRISTOPHER/BURCH, RICHARD E/LIND, ZACHARY MICHEL/LINTON, THOMAS DARRELL

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out or
Looked down on.
Just TRY your best, TRY everything you can.
And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away.

Chorus
It just takes some time,
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine, everything,
Everything will be alright, alright.

Hey, you know they’re all the same.
You know you’re doing better on your own, so don’t buy in.
Live right now.
You just be yourself.
It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else.

Chorus
It just takes some time,
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine, everything,
Everything will be alright, alright.
It just takes some time,
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine, everything,
Everything will be alright, alright.

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet.
It’s only in your head you feel left out or
Looked down on.
Just do your best (just do your best), do everything you can (do everything you can).
And don’t you worry what their bitter hearts (bitter hearts) are gonna say.

Chorus
It just takes some time,
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine, everything,
Everything will be alright, alright.
It just takes some time,
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine, everything,
Everything will be alright.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Vampires

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Vampires

Our character is a reflection (no pun intended) of who we are, and THAT reflection is made up of HABITS.

We might think that habits are nothing to be bothered and nothing but odd bits of manners, but in reality we’re Vampires, so we’re odd, so we definitely need habits for success. Seven is also an odd number, so we need seven habits. That is unless you’re the seventh son of a seventh son, then I can’t help you. Nobody can help you.

You can be proactive, reactive, inactive, radioactive, or even retroactive. It is always your choice, depending on what important habits you decide to incorporate into your existence.

People often ask self-help guys, “Why can’t children do their work cheerfully?” Holy crap, I can’t do my own work cheerfully. Have you ever thought about talking with your kids, telling them exactly what you expect, explaining consequences, then not being wishy washy about it or an asshole? Communications is always the key. You don’t need a book to tell you that. Just listen to the Vampire. Listen to yourself. Learn from your mistakes. Don’t be a jerk.

People also ask self-help guys, “How can I make a lot of money?” Work. Work hard. Work smart. Save. Go back to school. There is no EASY way, so stop being a jackass looking for that pot of gold. Those little green trolls aren’t giving up anything. Yes, and your wife, and your kids think you’re a jackass.

You can be a leader, a follower, or someone who just doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. In light of recent political events the later might be the best option. Well, that and the fact that you’re a Vampire.

 

HABITS 1 - 4

HABITS 1 – 4

 

Habit 1: Be Aggressive

Some call it being proactive, but you’re a Vampire so call it what it is. Be aggressive. It is a cold and dark world out there for our kind. Improve your existence by being proactive and not letting anything get in the way of you and your next victim donor.

Habit 2: Begin with an Objective.

Write yourself a mission statement. Mine is: Don’t sweat the small stuff cause Vampires don’t sweat.

Habit 3: Go ahead – Put it off.

You’re a Vampire. You have time. You have a lot of time. So take your time. No need to rush anything.

Habit 4: You ALWAYS win.

This isn’t a Win/Win world for Vampires. You must ALWAYS win. The key is to make your donors think that they are winning. Don’t just leave them with a pint less of blood, a sore neck, and a queasy feeling. Leave them with sweet dreams. Leave a basket of fresh baked cookies, and juice to help get their blood sugars back up. And if you run into a jerk – then leave that person with nightmares he or she will never forget – because YOU ALWAYS WIN.

HABITS 5 - 6

HABITS 5 – 6

Habit 5: It doesn’t matter what they think

Over the years I’ve helped a lot of new Vampires break in their fangs, and adjust a different kind of life. As a Vampire you can’t be all of that concerned with the feelings of others. Nobody wants fangs in their warm plump neck veins. What they do want is you listening to them empathically. Then you lull them into a trance and have your fill. Don’t be overly concerned about asking if it is ok, or if their feelings are going to be hurt. This isn’t the time to be concerned with their point of view. It is time for YOU and what YOU think.

Habit 6: Take advantage

Use your natural Vampire charm and cunning to gain their trust. Communication is the key to leverage your views and desires. Engage with them and use their faults to make them think everything is their idea. They’ll have themselves in the morning, but you’ll have a nice warm stomach full of blood.

habit-7

HABIT 7: Throw them a fast ball, then throw them a curve ball – they’ll never know what hit them.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Knife and Use it.

Maintain physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your life in a well balanced way. Bahahahahahahha. Like that is going to happen. Just do what you need to do. You’re a Vampire. Throw them a fast ball, then throw them a curve ball – they’ll never know what hit them.

 

The previous statements might or might not be the opinion of this blog or whatever. This is just for fun (maybe), and not intended to be taken seriously (unless you’re a Vampire.)

You KNOW how I feel about self-help books, parenting books, boring books, and books with missing pages – not much.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman