Answers To Questions About Vampires: 2020 Edition

It has been a while (at least two years) since I answered your questions about Vampires. If I don’t cover what you are looking for here just leave your question in the comments section.

  • Yes, Vampires take off their masks when they eat. 
  • Since most Vampires don’t double dip there isn’t a huge chance of any of them spreading diseases. If someone is sick or infected Vampires stay away from them. We try to keep the food chain clean.
  • You are correct. Vampires do not like fire. Do any of us like fire? Really? Ask anyone in Australia or the West Coast of the US about that.  
  • No.
  • Sorry, the answer will always be no.
  • Light sensitivity depends on the individual. Thank goodness for sunscreen, dark shades, and hats.
  • No.
  • No.
  • No.
  • Type A. 
  • Sure if a Vampire is an American Citizen they’ll vote. 
  • It is a secret ballot. We don’t need to tell you who or what we’re voting for. 
  • Old Vampires dating teenagers is frowned upon. We are not pedophiles. 
  • I won’t answer that.
  • I don’t know.
  • It’s a bitch when your fangs get caught up in a mask.
  • Don’t believe everything you hear or read, especially when it comes to Vampires.
  • No Vampires will not go public in 2020.
  • Werewolves also will not go public in 2020.
  • There won’t be a Zombie apocalypse in 2020.
  • Yes, Vampires can see ghosts. It doesn’t mean we like them. Just like you don’t have to like everyone you see.
  • Yes, Vampires are social distancing but not with each other. That doesn’t mean YOU shouldn’t continue to social distance.
  • Now more than ever we need to fight for the future of our young people. Just keep thinking about keeping the food supply clean.
  • I’m not wearing black today. 
  • Yes, there are stupid questions.

Just in case you missed it or need a reminder… Answers About Vampires From Previous Posts: 

  • No. If you’re bitten by a Vampire you won’t automatically turn into a Vampire. It’s more complicated than that.
  • Yes, our body temperature is lower than yours.
  • No, we’re not all creepy.
  • No, going into a church will not kill us. It makes us uncomfortable so if we’re there we’re in the back row. But seriously don’t look for us there. Nobody likes Vampires in their church, and we just go for the music.
  • Yes, we celebrate the same holidays as you do.
  • Yes, Vampires drink coffee. Hell yes we drink coffee.
  • No Vampires aren’t off the grid, at least most of us aren’t. We have passports, birth certificates, drivers licenses, and other required documents. We also vote.
  • Despite popular opinion Eric Trump is not a Vampire.
  • Yes, Vampire fangs are retractable. Unfortunately, just like old car windows, fangs on certain individuals can drop down with no warning, stick up, stick down, or have other “mechanical” issues. Fortunately the car window fang thing is rare.
  • You need answers…
  • No, bats don’t make good pets. They’ll die. Don’t do it.
  • No, we don’t tear people’s throats out. Think of the mess. And seriously do you rip the door off of your refrigerator every time you get something to eat? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
  • No, I don’t sleep in a coffin. I really want one of the Sleep Number beds.
  • Yes, we are sensitive to light. Thank you for asking and pass the sunscreen.
  • Yes, sometimes we do eat real food (we need fiber just like you).
  • Yes, we do have paranormal powers. No I won’t tell you about them.
  • Ask a Werewolf if you want to know about Werewolves.
  • No, garlic will not kill us. Now your breath… that is another issue.
  • No, a cross will not burn us.
  • Yes, if you destroy my heart or cut off my head I’ll die. So will you.
  • Yes, this is a real Rolex. I purchased it new in 1959.
  • Yes, cat blood is pretty nasty.
  • Yes, we do hunt vegans.
  • No, being a vegan will cause a Vampire to go into a coma for a very long time.
  • Because you’d kill us.
  • No, we usually just make them think they did. That’s why people love us and have so many fantasies about us.
  • No, we can’t have biological children with a regular human.
  • No, less than 10% of humans turned into vampires survive more than a few weeks. Of that only 5% will make it. 90% die within an hour. Did that answer your questions?
  • We wear other colors. Not just black.
  • Yes, we do prefer red wine over white.
  • No, I won’t answer questions about THAT.
  • Yes, Werewolf blood does taste sort of like Bourbon.
  • Yes, we do get married to other Vampires. No we don’t marry regular people (it usually doesn’t work out for obvious reasons.)
  • No we don’t marry Werewolves. What is wrong with you?
  • No, I will not show you my teeth. 

Thank you for dropping by today. I hope I answered at least a few of your questions.

One more answer – yes the new WordPress Block Editor sucks big time. It is difficult to use and extremely buggy and makes posting on blogs more difficult and time consuming as ever.

Wear a mask. Talk to your kids. Hug your dogs and cats. Check in on those who are elderly, alone, or might need some extra help. And as always, kiss a Vampire.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

A Vampire Muses About Natural Disasters, 2020, Halloween, and New Discoveries. YES there is fun to be had in 2020.

What we’re talking about today.

I just found out about a tsunami warning issued following 7.5 magnitude earthquake off Alaska Peninsula today.

Along with living in fire country, I also live in earthquake country. I’m not so close that if the Big One hits San Francisco or Los Angeles I’ll be in any danger. If a big one hits San Francisco I will be able to feel it.

The tsunami warning signs at the coast are lovely graphics but they are a reminder that it can, and will, happen again. We don’t know when or exactly when but it will.

Almost everyone around where I live has a story about either the 1906 or 1986 San Francisco earthquakes, or ones in Northridge, San Fernando, and Long Beach, or Humboldt and Santa Cruz Counties.

Which brings us back to everything else in 2020…

Weird stuff always happens to me so I’m doing ok during all of the current weirdness. October usually brings it on for me with general death and distruction, but any month works for stupid shit and unusual nobody wants to deal with.

On the other hand October is usually the best month of the year. First of all it cools off. It isn’t cooling off this year. But hey, my kids are coming up to visit. Woo Hoo.

I don’t know if the leaves will even change this year or just stay green and everything will evolve into evergreens. At least the migrating birds are migrating and sticking to schedule.

Fire season isn’t over yet. I watch the skies and the dry grass and trees hoping that nothing around me, or anyone else will catch fire. We’re tired of fires. We’re tired of the BS that surrounds them with the lack of fire cruse or aid for those in the way of fires, and PG&E bull shit. Why the hell are all of the power lines still above ground? It know it is expensive to bury them but isn’t it more expensive to have the entire Western United States burn down every single summer and fall?

Alice my dog and I go on long hot dry walks. We’d like it to cool down.

There are two weeks left until the election. I don’t suspect that all of the political weirdness will end because no matter what the results there will be… let’s just hope whatever the reaction is to the outcome that it doesn’t rival a Stephen King novel.

I’m still not sure if I’ll carve the pumpkins on my front porch. If I do I might as well pull out my magic witch hat and dress up the dog. The kids will be here for Halloween too so no matter what it will be fun. Vampires always find ways to have fun.

What else is new.

My daughter sent me this video. I laughed and almost cried.

I also discovered Owlkitty this week. I love Owlkitty.

The Crocker Art Museum will now be open four days a week. I am so jazzed. I’ve made reservations for my birthday.

I’m just thinking out loud. What are you thinking about and talking about?

No matter what wear a mask, stay safe, talk to your kids, hug your cats and dogs or whatever critters you call family, don’t be a dick, be kind, and as always kiss a Vampire. xoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Autumn Leaves (aren’t falling quite yet) and a Ghost

Despite the unusual heat it still feels like fall. The cool mornings and placement of the sun triggers that fall feeling I love so much. The bird songs are also different with the transition between the birds who fly to the South and those who winter over here. 

Yesterday it was hot and dry. I can’t remember a 90°F day in October. 

The only leaves that are falling are on the oak trees that just turn brown and dump into my driveway. All of the other trees are still green. At least the trees are green. Everything else is brown. The photo here is from a walk I took yesterday with my dog Alice. 

Thoughts come to Halloween, Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), and birthdays. We already celebrated my mother’s 491st  birthday. Next comes my brother Val on the 22nd, and then mine on the 23rd. That doesn’t include the dozen friends who also have October birthdays. 

This morning I was cleaning off the back deck. Don’t raise your eyebrows, Vampires have to take care of their homes just like anyone else, especially now that we’re all staying home a lot more. 

As I swept dirt and leaves off of the top deck down below on the construction of the lower deck I heard a “What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?”

I looked down to see Nigel the ghost standing there. 

“Oh shut up, you’re already dead. It isn’t like anything is going to hurt you or even fall on you,” I said.

“Come down to the lower deck,” he said.

“What so I can listen to your insults?”

“No,” he said with a quick smile. “So I can make you feel like the seasons are changing.”

Construction is going on so the stairs are gone. By the time I went inside, through the garage, and out back to the construction site I could hear music. A band, literally a band of ghosts were on my partially built deck playing, Tahiti: A Summer Night At Sea.

Nigel held out both of his hands just like Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind. “Dance with me,”

I was wearing dirt covered jeans, wet flip flops, and a worn out tank top without a bra. “Not now Nigel.”

He took my hands and suddenly I was in a sea foam green dress with a light twirling skirt, my hair was in a riot of curls fastened with a diamond clip, and my feet were bare on a floor of sand. 

I found myself being led around the deck, expertly stepping around any tools left out. 

“For a Vampire you have absolutely no rhythm,” he said.

“I never said I could dance,” I said. 

Suddenly he stopped and we were back on the deck, and I was in my old dirty jeans again. Nigel glanced at the ghostly guitar player.

He started to play, Autumn Leaves.

“Let’s try this again,” said Nigel.

“So any plans for Halloween?” I asked.

“Some major haunting. It will be awesome.”

“Anyone in particular?” I had to ask.

“I think I know who killed me.”

“What?” I stopped. Nigel pulled me close. He seemed exceptionally cold, and that is pretty cold considering I’m a Vampire. Then again it it was HOT outside.

“Don’t stop. Yes, I remembered her face. It was the last thing I saw as I lay there in under the shower with my skull smashed open.”

“She? It was a woman?”

“Yes, but I don’t quite remember who she was. My memory sort of went to hell after she killed me. So what are you doing for Halloween?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing at all?”

“2020.”

“What about your birthday?”

“I’m going to the art museum. It will be the first time since it closed in March.”

“Ohhhh I should go too.”

“You might as well considering it’s your birthday too. I have four tickets but since you’re a ghost you won’t need a ticket or a mask for that matter.”

He smiled. “I’d be 61 if I wasn’t dead. Hey, can we stop by my grave. It isn’t far from the museum. On my birthday people leave letters and drawings there. Some of them even pour Whiskey and wine on my grave. You know, sharing a toast to me. I bet my body is completely pickled by now and no doubt looking almost as good as the day before I died.”

Then he stopped, and the music stopped. “It is so damned dry around here. But do you feel like it might be fall yet?”

“A little,” I said.

I looked up and saw my husband Teddy on the top deck waving down. Nigel waved up and yelled, “be a good Vampire and take her someplace cool.” Then he vanished before I could tell him thank you for the short escape.

That’s all. Nothing else happened. The ghosts all vanished. Teddy and I went inside and caught up on our day and our kids, and the usual Vampire news.

I didn’t suddenly see any fall leaves fall out of the sky, but my trees are full of green oranges and lemons that will be ripe in December or January. 

Happy fall everyone and happy haunting.

  • Stay safe
  • Be kind
  • Wear a mask
  • Don’t be a dick
  • Give thanks
  • Vote
  • Talk to your kids
  • Check in on those who are ancient or need extra help
  • And kiss a Vampire.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

New Insanely Spooky Halloween Music

Turn out the lights and listen.

My talented friend and fellow author Mike Cooley sent me a couple of his Halloween compositions. These are so much fun and SPOOKY!

Click here for more from Mike.

Thanks Mike!

Have fun everyone. Stay safe. Wear your mask. Hug your kids. Kiss a Vampire. Vote.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Evolving

It cooled off today. It FINALLY cooled off.

I can’t imagine having Middle School or High School kids right now. I don’t know how well mine would have done with online school. It is a challenge for everyone. My children were tech savy so that wasn’t the problem. It was everything else, by that I mean the social aspects of Middle and High School. Kids grow up fast and learn how to socialize. They have to deal with group projects, weird people, and other distractions that get them ready for the real world work world. They make friends that they have for life, or at least think they have for life. They’ll have their first romances, dances, clubs, art shows, and so many other things, like meeting friends at a locker between classes, or just hanging out.

Recently my grown kids experienced losing childhood friends. They didn’t die, they just didn’t recognize their old friends. OK to be honest it was political fall out that disgusted my kids. It was difficult for one of them to see close childhood friends become racist or sexist. It was difficult to see their smart childhood friends become Covid-19 and science deniers. I knew it was bound to happen. Fortunately most of their friends didn’t go off of the deep end.

My kids respect the right for others to have opinions, but not opinions that hurt others.

Now you know why us paranormal types don’t let anyone know what we are. Holy shit. I don’t want to go back to the days when we were burned at the stake or locked up in crypts with wooden stakes in our hearts. That would not be good.

You know, I can hardly write this post because of the stupid new “works like shit out of rusty can” block settings. Who the hell writes like that? Plus I can’t find anything. There was supposed to be a photo here but it kept freezing up and I couldn’t get to the insert image block without being bumped up to the top of the page. Just let me write God Damn IT.

Earlier today I saw Nigel the ghost is sitting outside hanging his feet over the edge of the half built deck. He is in jeans and a button down white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his black hair brushing down over his collar. He looks up at me and gives me his “What the fuck Vampire?” look.

Our weird passive aggressive neighbor was walking behind the house along the fence line checking out my yard. I have no idea why he feels the need to be checking out our construction project or our orange trees and compost barrel. If I could have gotten away with it I would have pegged him with a pocket rocket (sling shot) or thrown a rotten orange at him.

I’ve thought about asking a ghost to go haunt them but considering their kids refuse to visit them and they don’t have any friends they’ve made their own haunted house. This guy spends all of his time in the side yard and side corner of his back yard because he has no windows facing my house. He can’t see what we are doing so he has to pretend he has yard work, only he doesn’t have a back yard. It is just wild with no fence going down into the field. He planted some ground cover as an excuse to go out there. But seriously, who spends eight hours a week taking care of a patch of ground cover? A crazy pathetic man who can’t stand to be in the house with his wife – that is who.

My new neighbors have also become obsessed with my flower filled front yard. Heaven forbid a single daylily go a half inch over the property line. My yard is on their garage side. They can’t even see it from their house. It isn’t like I had a side yard full of weeds and junk like they do. It isn’t like we go make noise at all hours under their master bedroom window like they do to us.

My husband describes them as vile pathetic people. Unfortunately our close friends who used to live there (for over 10 years) moved away and the owners of the house they rented from moved back in. Nobody in the neighborhood was happy about that.

If they died nobody would know for weeks or maybe months. That is sad indeed. Don’t worry, they don’t have pets. And I used to think we were the weird ones on the street.

Don’t worry. I can deal with it.

These days everything annoys me and everyone else. Aside from wearing a mask I suggest we all turn off the news and maybe only listen for the weather and the reports about giant pumpkins, dogs and cats who are looking for forever homes, and cool things kids are doing to keep happy and healthy.

I’m not surprised that most Werewolves I know are spending more time in the mountains away from everything and everybody. They used to just go up during the full moon. Now many of them are up there most of the time.

Parties or no parties, Halloween will be here soon.

I hope to chill and maybe even write some chilling Halloween posts, or at least fun posts. I have a lot of ideas but so many distractions.

My brother Max is being bothered by a Demon, Vlad is still confused, my children and thriving and having adventures, Austin Durant is attempting to get through this semester teaching college and helping my brother Aaron get rid of unwanted pests, and the ancient ones will celebrate Halloween no matter what happens. I’ll keep you all posted.

In the meantime I think I’ll have a glass of wine and maybe watch some baseball and work on some macrame. Why? Because that is what Vampires do. It isn’t all about sucking blood out of necks.

~ Wear your mask
~ Talk with your kids
~ Call your parents
~ Hug your dogs and cats
~ Feed a squirrel
~ Keep your bird feeders full
~ Be zen and sweep rather than using a leaf blower
~ Stay safe
~ Don’t be a dick
~ Be kind
~ And kiss a Vampire (the sooner the better)

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Short Story Sunday: Two Stories – “Maybe” and “The Offer”

A new story for 2020

Maybe

My phone dinged with another text message. I really needed to mute the sound.

Jay: I am so sorry about Ryan.

Me: Thank you.

Jay: I saw your photo. Your still hot.

Me: You still can’t spell.

Another old boyfriend I’d have to block. They came out of the woodwork like rats, only they were middle aged men, all divorced, widowed, never married, and looking for any excuse to get laid.

The messages ranged from sappy memories of times that never meant much to me, dick pics, apologies, propositions, apologies for past bad behavior, and whiney threads of what could have been. I blocked them all.

Mike: If you need anything call me.

Me: Who is this?

Mike: Mike Johnson

Me: What are you doing now?

Mike: Thinking about you.

Me: I mean, are you working? Retired? Married? Single?

Mike: Semi retired. Semi single. Rich. Still have my hair. Still in the area. Still thinking of your hot body next to mine. I never forgot. Never.

Me: OK. Remember, you dumped me.

Mike: I was young and stupid. If you need anything, and I mean anything.

Me: OK.

I blocked him. That made nine. There were more out there and I hoped they’d all keep their thoughts to themselves. I’d dated a lot before I met Ryan.

Them: I think about you all the time.

Me: Stop.

Ryan and I had thirty one years together, two wonderful children, and now I had to figure out what was next. Or maybe not.

It had been five months since Ryan passed. I wasn’t so numb anymore. The kids were grown and handling it ok. I couldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself for breaking down. I had to be there for them and my grand kids. I didn’t have the luxury of feeling sorry for myself, and Ryan wouldn’t have wanted me to.

Then I received an email from someone I used to know.

Dear Colette,
I was saddened to hear the news of Ryan’s passing. We had worked together on research projects for years and become friends. He spoke often of you and your children.

I didn’t get back to you because I also had Covid-19 and survived it.

It took a while for me to realize that Ryan’s Colette was you. I never told him I knew you.


I sat looking at the computer screen growing numb. The email was from Ian Locke, the one who got away. At least sort of got away. We parted ways because due to the old “wrong time, wrong place” type of situation.

Ian continued with sweet thoughts and good memories of my husband. It was exceptionally touching and weird. I never made the connection when Ryan spoke of Ian. They were never in the same city, and usually they were out in the field or in the lab, so we never met.

Then my phone vibrated and I answered the call. It was Ian.

His voice immediately brought me back to a time forty years ago when we were in college. We were just babies, or at least adults who didn’t know how to be adults yet. It was a time to experiment and flounder.

We talked a bit about Ryan and our children. We both had two. I had two girls. He had two boys. They were all doing great and in college. We spoke of our careers.

Then Ryan said, “I’m getting a divorce. I’ll sign the final papers next week.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“She had been cheating on me for years. When he passed away she wanted to patch things up but it was too late.”

Suddenly I wanted to throw up. I wasn’t so stupid that I didn’t know where this was going. I had no idea, but I wasn’t stupid.

“She gave Ryan Covid-19. She gave it to me. She and I survived it. I’m sorry. I am so angry. I lost my friend. I lost all sense of trust. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t even be telling you this.”

He shouldn’t have been telling me that.

I thought of the research trips. I thought of the times he had to stay a few extra days. I thought of him dying in our spare bedroom where he’d quarantined himself.

Ian continued. “Renee lost it when Ryan died. She was hysterical for weeks, then she finally told me about everything. I didn’t want to believe it but then I saw the texts, the emails, the photos. She said she was going to tell you. I told her no. She said she needed to tell you. What a cunt. I didn’t want you to hear it from her. I am so sorry Colette.”

“Ian,” I said. “I want to talk to you more. I want to see you, but I don’t know… could you call me back in a few weeks? Will you call me in a few weeks.”

“Sure. Colette…”

“I’ll talk to you soon. It’s good to hear your voice. Call me later.”

I hung up.

I haven’t heard from Ian. It has only been a week. I did put my house up for sale. I’m looking for a beach house, closer to my kids.

Nobody knows about my conversation with Ian. I don’t plan on telling anyone.

2020 is almost done. Next year should be better. Maybe. Either way it will be a new beginning for me. I tell myself that. Maybe I’ll convince myself. Maybe.

~ end

For those who want something a little more cheerful read the following story. It is an oldie but a goodie. Have fun. Stay safe. WEAR YOUR MASK.

The Offer (a fairy tale with a wizard, a kitten and a mysterious stranger)

Miles was the official Royal Wizard to the Kingdom of the Moonbeam Mountains. What the fuck kind of name was that for a Kingdom?

“I will NEVER be as good as my dad.” he thought brooding in the dark under the night sky on the roof with a bottle of 80 proof Dragon Blood.

Sitting alone in his castle by the sea he thought of her, the princess who’d more or less left him for another man. Hell, he never had her. She’d always been in love with someone else. They’d been together for ten years. In ten years she’d told him a thousand times that she loved him but at the same time she was running a fantasy in her head about another guy.

For the past 6 years they’d lived with each other almost full-time. Their father’s were best friends. Hers was the King of the Northwestern Kingdom, his father was the Royal Wizard there and their mother’s were girlfriends. Everything was perfect, just like it was supposed to be. Every single year he’d proposed to her. Every single year she’d told him that she wanted to wait. Wait for what? Now he knew. She was waiting for another guy.

He called to have his horse ready and took off to the local pub. At least there he could keep his mind off of things.

Half way to the pub he stopped to pull his gloves out of his saddle bag. He heard a noise on the side of the road. A teeny tiny gray and white kitten ran towards him. It couldn’t have been more than six weeks old.

“Oh sweetie,” he whispered to the kitten, “I can’t leave you out here alone.” He tucked the tiny cat under his coat and continued on.

As he entered the village gate he could hear the band playing at the pub and already see friends lingering around the front door. “Deep breath Miles,” he thought to himself knowing everyone would ask about his princess. They knew he’d left her. They didn’t know why or for how long. He didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he’d just put a spell on the place to make them all shut up about it, but ethics and his own code of decency stopped him from it. There is no crime in being curious.

After dropping his horse off in safe hands he greeted the people outside then went in. He could feel the small body purring inside of his coat. There was something about a cat that could make one forget everything. Cats were so pure and so decadent and so useless and so calming and so everything that made the universe worth living in. Cats represented all that was. Not good or bad just everything.

He caught his reflection in a window. Blonde hair, board shoulders, blue eyes, dimples on his boy-next-door cheeks and a scar across his neck that would tingle every time she kissed him, no matter what violent memories it brought him.

Everyone greeted him. Big points were scored with the ladies when he cradled the purring kitten in the crook of his arm. Damn that kitty was cute. She looked up at him and mewed a purr dripped sound that was absolutely toxic cute. He could never get enough of that feeling of pure joy and love.

After ordering a brew Miles did a few tricks for the patrons. They always asked and he was glad to give them some shows of blue sparks, wispy smoke dragons and fairies flying over their heads and levitating beer steins. It was all good fun. Fun was always good especially with the way he was feeling.

The fact that he’d been alone for a few months hadn’t gone unnoticed. He could hear the gossip behind his back. He could feel the single women watching him and wanting him. There was no reason for him to be alone at night but he wasn’t ready yet for company in his cold bed.

He heard a voice at his shoulder. “Missing your homeland Wizard?”

Miles turned around to see a tall exceptionally thin man standing at his shoulder. He wore a good suit and a sarcastic smile on his face.

The man continued to speak. “Do you miss a warm princess next to you in your cold bed? Do you wish your magic was more powerful? Do you wish you’d get the same respect and power as your father has? I can give you all of that.”

“It isn’t wise to attempt to provoke a wizard, even a piss poor attempt like yours. I don’t know you sir, but I’m here to enjoy an evening with friends. Now if you’ll excuse me and my cat we’ve got others to talk to,” Miles said to the tall thin man.

“Give me that kitten and I’ll grant you three wishes,” the stranger said in a voice so smooth it made Miles cringe.

“I don’t want your wishes and I’m sure as Hell not giving you my cat.”

At a large table he sat with friends, joking and listening to their stories, but his senses were wide open to any evil that lurked in the building. The tall thin stranger occupied himself with another group, but Miles could feel his presence.

The kitten purred and played with everyone at the table. There was nothing special or magic about her except that she was a cat. “Just a cat,” thought Miles, “nothing more.”

Hours later, after he’d had a successful evening with friends who’d done more than a good job of cheering him up and getting him out of his gloomy mood, Miles arrived home. His staff would be in bed so he put the horse to bed for the night, gathered the kitten back under his coat and headed for the front door. The moonlight made the dark pathway easy. He took a deep breath of the salt air and listened to the waves crashing on the beach below.

“Welcome to my castle by the sea dear kitten,” he told his small purring friend. “You look like a Lizzie to me. How about it? Do you like that name my dear?” The kitten meowed and purred.

Looking up he saw a figure on the cliff. It was the annoying thin stranger from the pub.

“Wizard, give me the cat and I will give you everything you desire. I can make your princess love you. I can make you famous. I can bring you riches.”

“Get off my property or I’ll…” he thought a moment for the bad things he could do then spoke. “What’s so special about the cat?”

“Your princess for the cat Miles. Say the word and you’ll have what your heart desires.”

“I don’t know who you are but I don’t want a woman who loves me because of a spell. I want her to love me for the right reason. I want her to fall for me in a nice long romantic way of her own accord. Love spells are bull shit. Every wizard with any talent knows that. And any man who knows what his heart desires and knows what true love feels like knows that.”

“Give me the cat.”

“Is she yours? Don’t lie to me man. I’ll know if you’re telling me a lie.”

The stranger halted a bit. “Well, no.”

“Then what is it? I don’t want any wishes and I don’t trust you with a helpless kitten. What do you really want? Is this some sort of test? Or are you just a creepy stalker? What is it? Tell me.”

“Do you love your princess?” The man asked him as if he was accusing Miles of cheating.

“Sure I do but, it’s none of your business.” None of anyone’s business that she was in love with someone else. “Get the Hell off of my property.” Miles blasted the ground in front of the man with a bolt of orange lightning. The man jumped back. “Go or the next one will hit you.”

The man was gone. Miles was alone in the kitchen with the kitten. “What was that about? Do you know?”

The kitten just purred.

Three wishes. He laughed out loud a bitter laugh. What would he need with three wishes. He’d worked hard for everything he had. He was proud of what he’d accomplished. Being a wizard, much less one in a foreign country, wasn’t always easy. People depended on him.

He thought of calling her, his princess, but he decided to let it go, at least for tonight. She had left him letters and messages but he couldn’t get past the pain of betrayal.

He wondered who the skinny guy was and why he wanted the cat. Three wishes. It wasn’t worth it. He’d never trade his soul or the tiny stray he’d found on the side of the road. After all, wasn’t it the same thing? He had shown compassion to a small beast. He’d shown his soul.

The kitten didn’t start to talk. He kissed the top of her tiny head but she didn’t turn into a princess.

Taking out a piece of paper and a pen he started to write.

Tonight a strange skinny man offered me three wishes in exchange for a small kitten I found on the side of the road. The man said he could make you love me. I wasn’t tempted by the offer. If you love me I want it to be honest and true for me. No magic. No games. No more lies. 

He wadded up the letter and made it vanish with a flash of blue smoke.  It was no use.  Heading up the stairs with the kitten in his arms he stopped at the sound of someone knocking on the door. “Damn you, I do not want your wishes.”

Jerking open the door Miles yelled, “I’m not giving you my kitten.”

But standing at the door wasn’t the tall skinny man, it was his princess. He brought her in and told her the story of the strange skinny man and the kitten. She listened in wonder and then they both went upstairs.

And did they live happily ever after? Maybe. Only time, or maybe the cat will tell.

~ end

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman