Kids don’t always appreciate what you do, or what you have, or what others do for them because they don’t have the life experience to appreciate anything. They don’t know a world where they don’t have their parents or others doing things for them. They don’t know a life without the nice home or community they live in. They’ll appreciate it all when they get older – often with a big helping of guilt. Yes, as a parent that is frustrating as hell, but just keep drilling in the the appreciation message and eventually they’ll understand and appreciate.
Yes, one day they will appreciate all of the time you spent with them, just being you, and letting them just be themselves. Believe me, they will.
That does not mean to allow your children to be selfish brats. Keep drilling into their little brains that they must be polite, be kind, appreciate what others do for them, say thank you, do nice things for other, and be a decent human being. Nobody likes a brat – tell your kids that. They’ll listen to them when you tell them people don’t like selfish brats, or general stupidity. Seriously, it works. It might take a bit to sink in but it works. Like I always say TALK to your kids. Don’t just say NO. Really talk to them and have those conversations about appreciation and behavior.
This, of course, brings us around to talking about 2020. Yes, it is a weird year. It is an exceptionally weird year. There have been a lot of weird years but this one takes the cake/pie or whatever for most people.
So appreciate that cake or pie. Appreciate everything good in your life. Right, easy for you to say you might be thinking right now. No it isn’t easy for me to say. But I’ve lived a long time and know what it is to be down in dark places where, well, believe me, it was bad.
Another thing to teach your kids (children and adult children) is to learn from their mistakes. If they can learn then they’ll appreciate their own actions and what they can do for themselves. Allow them to know they can be empowered to do the right thing and change bad situations.
Covid-19 lockdowns are hard for everyone, but especially young people. They’re so social and being cut off from friends and from meeting new friends is hard. They’re in college, or trade school, or working and now that is all up in the air from one day to the next, with them never knowing if they’ll have any good prospects or opportunities. Now is an easy time to just want to give up.
Keep up the encouragement. Not hollow “hopes and prayers” kind of encouragement, but real encouragement. Be there for them to talk about it. LISTEN to their fears. Don’t discount their fears and concerns. This is real. This is their reality. Yet, it is still a time to look for appreciation for what is going right. It is also time for hope and love.
It is also a time for winter walks and a lot of mind clearing. Speaking of winter walks, there were wild turkeys in my driveway this morning and it was so cold we could see their breath. Take a walk. See their birds, or the city streets, or even just the sky.
Later today I’ll have more holiday/Christmas stuff. Keep checking back for more new posts and favorites from the past.
And as always… Wear a mask. Stay safe. Social distance. Talk to your kids. Listen to your kids. Check in on those who might be alone or need extra help. Be kind. Appreciate the good things and good people in your life. And kiss a Vampire.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
I was trying to encourage some sad high school seniors who were in my shop yesterday wistfully looking at some vintage gowns saying, “It’s so sad we don’t get a prom.” I told them to have their own prom with a small group because, really, they were only going to hang out with each other at the prom anyway. They said they just might do that. Rent the limo, go to Denny’s, get some great dresses and dance all night.
I thought, “You know, I should have done that MY senior year… It would have been more fun than the real prom!” LOL.
Awwww that is so sweet.
I think we might have hung out on prom night. We didn’t have great dresses, but we had good company.