Tag Archives: talk to your kids

What we talked about today before school… I wish it wasn’t true…I wish it wasn’t again…

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For years, since 2012 I’ve been posting on what I talk about with my kids on the way to school, and now that they’re in college just what we talk about.

Today we talked about:

  • The school shooting in Florida
  • Snarky shit about people who live in Washington DC
  • The Olympics

School Shootings:

27973291_10215310182698618_2142073823464310448_nThis morning I hugged my child as she left for her college classes. I almost cried.

My daughter told me not to worry. She has told me that so many times that I can’t remember. She said “I’m in college. Don’t worry.”

I told her, “Virginia Tech, UC Santa Barbra, Roseburg, Oregon.”

Another school shooting. Another mass shooting. I don’t know as a parent how much more I can say. How much more can I cry for the loss and for the families and friends left behind.

How many more of these posts do I have to write? I almost didn’t write this one. But I must.

Another school shooting. This time, on Valentine’s Day at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland Florida, Seventeen People Were Murdered – SHOT WITH A LEGALLY PURCHASED GUN THAT WAS MADE FOR KILLING PEOPLE.

More parents, friends, and families are mourning tragic losses today. This has to stop. It is unacceptable. Thoughts and prayers aren’t going to help. We’ve tried that already. Your vote, your phone calls to your representatives, and your LOUD VOICES, are a needed. Never again. Shout it out NEVER AGAIN.

We’ve all seen the horror of the reports in Florida. Students filmed the attack. One girl said, “I watched my friend get her face blown off.”

Seventeen dead.

This wasn’t a foreign terrorist. It was a kid that was so fucked up that he couldn’t act like a human. It was a kid who followed hate groups. It was a kid who proudly wore one of Trump’s Make America Great Again hats. This isn’t making America great. And we all know Trump will do nothing because as his son puts it “Trump’s America is Red, White, and Green.” Follow the NRA money.

We need law enforcement to follow up when people are concerned about what they see on social media – yes, this recent shooter and others have been reported  BEFORE the crime and nothing was done about it. If you want I’ll make a list. Right now I can think of the Isla Vista killings (guns and knives were used.) It was planned. The killer rejected mental health care his family provided. His family alerted the police. The list goes on and on and on.

The Columbine shootings happened in 1999 the year my daughter was born. She is now an adult. She has NEVER known a time without regular mass shootings, and school shootings in the United States of America.

The should not the our children’s NORMAL. It is anything BUT normal.

Of course our leaders DO NOTHING.  They don’t want law enforcement agencies to take threats seriously. They don’t want any kind of meaningful gun control, they don’t want to address mental health, they don’t want anyone to dare talk about hate groups, they don’t want to make adults who let minors have access to guns share responsibility for crimes, they just want to say meaningless works like “thoughts and prayers.”

Thoughts and Prayers have NEVER prevented a school shooting. They have never made loved ones feel better. They are EMPTY words that now sound like insults.

I’ve written more than one article about mass shootings, including school shootings (links below). I always hope that each will be the last, but it never ends. This is the world my daughter grew up in. Today as she left for her college classes she told me not to worry – but I do worry. EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is not right. I am so heart broken today about what happened yesterday in Florida that I don’t have it in me yet to write a blog post about it.

I DID contact all of my representatives in the Senate and Congress. I will contact the local representatives today.

Below are links to just a few of the articles I’ve posted since 2012 about mass shootings in the United States. Contact those in government who represent you. This has to stop.

Sandy Hook: https://vampiremaman.com/…/in-honor-hug-your-kids-talk-to-…/

Las Vegas: https://vampiremaman.com/…/04/a-reflection-on-horror-and-h…/

Marysvile, Washington: https://vampiremaman.com/…/a-shooting-threat-at-our-high-s…/

Orlando: https://vampiremaman.com/2016/06/12/today-is-sunday/

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  • Snarky shit about people who live in Washington DC

It isn’t about Republicans or Democrats. It is about ALL of them. They don’t care about the people who elect them. All they care about is the status and the money. It is all about the next campaign.

Men who were born in 1959 act as if they were born in 1859. They act like it is 1918 not 2018.

We all agree that Washington D.C. is full of old boys who act like assholes and sexist pigs 24/7 because they can get away with it. Their mommies are all dead, their daddies were sexist pigs. It is what they know. It is what they’ve been allowed to get away with because they are rich and they are bullies.

Then I think of Melania Trump. I can’t even imagine how much she must hate her husband in real life. I can’t imagine what she is thinking when she hears about her husband having sex with porn stars (and others no doubt) while she was home with a newborn infant. I can’t imagine what she thinks when she knows her husband has always chated on her. I can’t imagine the disgust she must feel when Trump touches her.

Then again it is what she wanted. Her family got a free ticket to America. They live off of Trumps fortune. For some that might be a good deal.

A lot of political wives are like that. Had I been Hillary Clinton I would have had the biggest bonfire in history on the White House Lawn when Bill was cheating. But then again, the love of money and power is sometimes more tempting than a healthy normal life.

This is where I’m going with this… these people, men and women in Washington DC are so out of touch with reality that it seems like some sort of weird alternate universe that they live in. The know everything about low class and NOTHING about the Middle Class.

But back to our current First Lady (who would have looked so much better without all of that needless plastic surgery) I know what her current favorite songs must be. You can listen below.

  • The 2018 Winter Olympics

This morning we talked about ICE SKATING. Oh my goodness. I’m just going to post a video. This is so beautiful that you’ll cry for all the good reasons.

Yes, I’m so off today I can’t write much of anything, so just watch this.

The Olympics have been wonderful. We’re following and cheering for everyone there.

That’s it for today. I have to go hug my dog.

And what I can’t stress enough: TALK TO YOUR KIDS. Talk to your kids. Listen to them. Value their opinions. Teach them what is right and wrong. Teach them compassion. Teach them to be strong. Hug them. Kiss them. Protect them. Treasure them. It doesn’t matter if they’re babies or in their sixties – do all these things. Always.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Never ask…Questions, Conversations and Musings

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Never ask a Werewolf about flea control.

Never ask a Ghost about transparency.

Never ask a Zombie where he left his heart.

 

Never forget to ask your child about everything.

When it comes to kids, the more you ask and engage (not drill, but engage) them the more they’ll talk to you without being asked. Start them off early. Don’t accept monosyllable answers. If you don’t do anything else you read about parenting DO THIS. You’ll thanks me for it later. And show genuine interest (that is why all of my kid’s friends talk to me with smiles on their faces.)

And speaking of genuine interest… I’m getting off subject a bit but you know how I am.

We’ve all said a lot of things we want to take back. I told my daughter to NEVER ask a pregnant woman when she is due. Of course in typical teenage fashion she asked why not. Because she might not be pregnant. Ohhhhhh. Yes, that has happened to me. It was a long long time ago. I don’t ask that question anymore. I don’t ask a lot of personal questions. There are two reasons. First because it is rude. Second because I know that if someone wants me to know something personal they will tell me in their own time and in their own comfort zone.

The other day my friend Elizabeth asked me to join her in shoe shopping adventure. How could I say no to that? We’ve been friends forever but run in different circles and we don’t always see each other that often.

We were on a tree lined street where shops aren’t in malls but in old store fronts, sometimes in-between Victorian houses and law offices and bars. Restaurants and art shops and boutiques call for me to stop and look. It was a beautiful warm almost Spring day. I saw an old car in front of the art supply story with the bumper sticker that said “imagine whirled peas.” I laughed out loud. It was good to laugh after listening to my child on the way to school talk about war, impending war, her predictions for war and the fucking evil nut jobs who are destroying World Heritage sites. No matter how far removed we are from world events, as we lust over red heels with bows on them, it still hangs heavy on our minds.

Elizabeth put down a blue wedge heeled sandal and said, “I’m seeing someone.”

The first thought that came to my mind was I hope it isn’t one of my brothers. I have three single brothers and as much as I love them I would rather they not become involved with my friends. Sure, I did marry my eldest brother’s best friend but that is a different story altogether.

That was a cue to purchase our shoes and go three doors down for coffee. Low and behold my brother Val was sitting at a back table with his laptop and coffee. He looked up with a dazzling smile and a flash of fang (just for us.) I got a hug. Elizabeth got a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

She started out in a round about way saying her new paramour was a lot of fun and smart and interesting and of course attractive. We politely smiled and didn’t ask any questions but let her talk. And she said something interesting and showed this wasn’t just any relationship.

“Your brother Andrew was married to someone…you know, someone who wasn’t like us.”

“They were married for forty years. She was almost seventy when she passed away. We all still miss her.”

Andy had married a woman who wasn’t like us. She made the choice not to ever be like us. So I decided to ask my friend, my old friend a question.

“He isn’t a Vampire is he?”

“No, but he knows about us. He accepts me.”

“Does he want to become a Vampire?” That was Val asking. He is always called on when someone wants to become one of us.

Elizabeth took a sip of coffee as if she had to think about the answer. “I wish the answer was yes, but I don’t think so. We haven’t talked about it.”

Good. That was good. I mean it could be good or bad, but right now it was good. So I asked, “are you happy, together, the two of you?”

“Insanely happy.”

That was all I needed to know right now.

We talked more about plays we all want to see and movies and general stuff. We talked more about Elizabeth’s boyfriend. We both gave Val a hard time for not seeing anyone. Let me reword that – Val sees a lot of women, of all kinds, but there is nobody who has captured his cold single adorable Vampire heart.

But I’m off subject again. Was there a subject?

Anyway, there is always a risk becoming friends or lovers with someone who is an unlikely choice. Sometimes we’re too different to make it work. Usually we find that, if we all keep open minds and hearts, that we are more the same.

I’m sure The Ghost will have an opinion on that but I’m not going to ask him because he’ll give me some snarky remark and insult me. That is just like a Ghost.

And never ask a cat anything because everything a cat says will be a lie. Of course a cat will say it with a smile on his face and purring.

Have a good day everyone, stay curious and creative and make sure you get your coffee (or whatever you need to get through the day.)

And talk with your kids!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Kissed by a Vampire
 

 

A shooting threat – at our high school today

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Halloween is almost here so…

I’d seriously planned, and still do, to post a story about my usually collection of Vampire friends and musings, but right now I have to talk about high school and what is happening today.

This isn’t going to be a post that changes your life. It isn’t especially written well or entertaining. It is just my own feelings about today.

On Friday tragedy stuck a high school in Marysville, Washington in the form of another senseless and tragic school shooting. This morning I heard on the radio that another student had died from her injuries.  My heart breaks for her and her parents. There was no reason for this to happen.

Then around 7:30 am this morning my phone rang. It was my daughter’s school. In a recorded message the school principal said there had been a threat. A threat that there would be a shooting today, October 27, at the school. The kids are all in school. Sheriff officers are standing guard. My daughter is texting me in between classes.

I know she will be safe but I’m a nervous wreck (I look calm but I feel sick.)

I think of all of the kids at her school of around 2,500 students. That is about the same size as the Marysville school. They’re all of my kids in a way. All of our kids. I can’t imagine harm coming to any of them.

My daughter has been texting me all morning, between classes, about what everyone is saying. She asked for me to call the office and ask for an early dismissal. I bet all the kids are doing that. No chance I’ll honor that request. But if I thought there was a real threat today I would call.

Today it is just a bluff, I hope.

There is no answer for shootings.

 

  • If you have a gun lock it up. Keep it locked at all times. No excuses.

 

  • Talk to your kids. Talk with your kids. Let them know the value of life. Let them know that any rough times and hard feeling will pass. Let them know that fleeting anger will pass. Talk to them about their feelings. Talk with them. Listen to them so if they do have a problem they will go to YOU and not resort to violence, self harm, drugs or other destructive behavior. It is so easy to brush off feelings. It is so easy to label people. Listen. Support. Love. Guide. Be there for them without judgment.

 

And today as always, hug them. Hug your kids so tight they tell you to stop. If they don’t live with you all the time or they’re away at college or anywhere else CALL THEM and tell them you love them.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families and students in Marysville, WA.

My thanks go out to the teachers and administrators at my daughter’s school and the law enforcement officers who are there today.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman