Children are sensitive souls, even when they are almost grown.
When parents are sorting through their own issues, their teens are stoic for the most part. They turn it all inside. That is when we (parents) need to buck it up and watch and listen.
They need us almost more now than when they were toddlers.
The same goes with marriage. By the time kids are teens life is so crazy and complicated and emotionally turned upside down.
We are all so busy and stressed that it just gets overwhelming.
I always say TALK WITH YOUR KIDS. I still say that. But today I have another chant for you. Talk with your spouse/partner. Talk to the other parent in the house. This is assuming the other parent is in the house. If he or she is make the time for them, as well as for the kids.
I know you know this. We just need reminders.
Yesterday my brother Aaron stopped by. Aaron and I are the only married siblings of my parent’s brood of five. He was happy that his young adult children were home for a few weeks, but they were off in their own world. His wife Verity was either with the children or working on a thousand things that had nothing to do with him.
I thought about my own household where we were all coming and going at 3,000 mph.
Stop. Talk. Hug. Say I love you.
“Maybe we’re meant to be solitary creatures,” said my brother.
“We all need our time alone. Is everything ok?” I asked.
“Sure. I’m around my family but they’re not really there.”
We talked more. They ARE there but everyone just gets so tied up in everything but each other.
Sometimes both Aaron and I feel alone, yet we know we are both part of something extraordinarily special and amazing. We have spouses and children who are there for us no matter what, and we are there for them. In turn, we are siblings who are so different, yet we are always here for each other.
I get lost in my own thoughts and issues and forget everyone around me. I become like a shadow. I become invisible. Sure, we’re Vampires so we should be invisible for the most part, but not when it comes to those we love. Nor should we make anyone feel invisible.
So your assignment for today: Love and show it. Your heart might not be beating but it doesn’t mean you can’t make someone feel they are valued and needed.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
First published here June 2015