She walked into the crowded bar as if she owned the place. I waved. She flashed me a dazzling smile and walked my way.
Black jeans, a dusty plum-colored coat over a white dress shirt she borrowed from her man, buttons open to give a hint of a promise of something soft and lace covered, the most darling gray boots with buckles and heels, a gray and blue scarf, and a black messenger bag with a tiny gold bat pin attached to it. Her nails are covered in glossy gray varnish as perfect as perfect can be, set off a perfect dark fire opal on her right hand. Loose dark brown chestnut colored ringlets cascading down her back. Perfect smoky eyes as gray as a winter sky shot with blue and a slight hint of pink lip-gloss on cupid kissed lips. She could be somewhere between 25 and 35 but it doesn’t matter. She is perfect. Every male head in the place turns. My mom just walked into the room.
She walked to the bar where I sat nursing a gin and tonic. She didn’t need to pull up a stool – four were immediately offered to her. She grabbed one a few places down and sat it next to me. Her arm went around my waist and squeezed. All was right in the world. Mom was here.
She still calls me her baby. I still call her my Maman.
She picks something off of my sweater. She liked my hair. My nail color made my hands look dirty. Was Teddy home. Was Clara at class tonight? I looked tired. Was I getting enough sleep? Was I spending all my time catering to my children? Was I working on my novels? Was I planning my winter and spring gardens?
My dad with at my brother Aaron’s house. It was a big girl night out.
She scanned the room and said, “we won’t go out hungry tonight.”
No we wouldn’t.
I put my hands in my lap, then decided to ignore her comment about my nail color. I liked the color even though I doubt if I’d wear it again.
We spoke quietly, our heads together. A man asked if we were sisters. My mom said we were.
He was in his early thirties. Blonde hair, green eyes, button down shirt. Cute bordering on handsome. My mom is 388 years old.
She whispered something in his ear and put her hand on his shoulder. He smiled. He was hers for the night if she wanted him. That isn’t what she said to him, but she can make anyone feel good. She said there was a girl in the bar who liked him, the pretty girl who is never the prettiest in the room and never the one who gets picked first. The girl was smart and funny and sexy and a little different. He’d pick her tonight and in a few months time he’d pick her forever. My maman has a talent for facilitating happily ever after events. How Vampires got the bad rap I’ll never know (actually I do but that’s another blog post) but we’re quite the romantics and lovers.
Her wedding ring was on a cord around her neck, hidden under her shirt. It was funny considering we spent most of the evening talking about my dad. She said she wanted to spend the week with my daughter.
She said she’d planted the pansies I’d given her. Hers were doing great but mine were still smallish. I told her that was because she loved her plants more than mine. She laughed. She had some bulbs in the car for me. I told her that I’d give them lots of love.
We were like any other mother and daughter meeting in the evening. Except we were out for blood. But that’s ok with us.
Randolpho and his ridiculous tall hat which he rarely takes off.
Dear Diary,
It has been a while since I picked up my quillpen keyboard and wrote anything at all.
I believe it was November when I last wrote. Since then I have been in the shadows like a common Vampire. I was once King of the Vampires.
I wondered if the very fabric of society would collapse and send up into chaos allowing me to rise and save the people as I had before so many centuries ago.
Even now I think about when I was locked in a crypt for three hundred years and missed the 18th – 20thCenturies. I lost everything.
Yet despite all of this I still have my looks. Heads turn in amazement when I walk into a room, even when I wear a mask. Even now I think about when I was locked in a crypt for three hundred years and missed the 18th– 20th Centuries. I lost everything. My friends keep telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself.
But I must now feed my cats. They rule me now.
~ Vlad
_________________________
Dear Diary,
Sometimes I believe my friends are intentionally leading me down a path of foolishness.
“Vlad,” they say, “you don’t understand any cultural cues when we talk. You will catch up.” There is three hundred years of clues to catch up on. I will never understand all of these cultural references. I find myself in an age with so much information that I feel as if my head will explode.
“It is only the first week of May 2021, but it is Hellishly HOT outside,” I said to my friends today. “This is no weather for Vampires like us.”
My best Vampire friend Randolpho was at my house, as was my Vampire lover Gillian.
“Why don’t you wear shorts? Seriously Vlad. Every summer since you’ve been here you complain for months how hot it is while you wear long pants.” said Randolpho.
“You usually wear black pants or jeans all summer long. I don’t know how you can stand it,” said Gillian.
“I wear cotton draw string pants. Do not look at me like that. They are not pajama pants,” I said.
“You look quite sexy in those draw string pants too, but you need some nice shorts,” said Gillian.
“I have a pair of the kind called board shorts for swimming but I will not wear those out into the public eye,” I said.
“Just get some regular shorts then. You know like a kaki color. You can even get black if you want,” said Randolpho.
“My legs are too pale. I will blind everyone who sees me,” I said.
“Of course, your legs are pale. You’ve had them covered up for 760 years,” said Randolpho.
“We’re not suggesting you dress like Angus Young,” said Gillian.
“Who? Angus the Young? Who is that?” I asked.
“Angus Young is a guitarist and one of the founders of AC/DC,” said Gillian.
“Angus Young invented the way electrical current is carried?” I asked.
“AC/DC is a band Vlad,” said Gillian.
“Their first album was called High Voltage,” said Randolpho. “Awww man it was a shame about Bon Scott. But Brian Johnson surprised everyone.”
“Did he ever. I saw them in 1981 or 82. Wow it was electric just like their name,” said Gillian.
“Lucky you. Then Malcolm Young got dementia,” said Randolpho.
“So sad,” said Gillian.
“It broke my heart,” said Randolpho.
“What does this have to do with wearing short pants?” I said to my friends who seemed to have forgotten my discomfort in the heat.
“Angus always wears shorts, like a schoolboy uniform,” said Gillian.
“Why?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I guess to stand out,” said Gillian.
“It was his sister’s idea. She gave him her son’s uniform. He still wears shorts on stage,” said Randolpho.
“With a jacket,” said Gillian. “But you don’t need a jacket. Just shorts.”
“My sister would have never suggested such an idea if I had a band,” I said.
“Don’t kid yourself Vlad. I bet your sister would have loved to see you on stage in a schoolboy uniform,” said Randolpho.
I ignored Randolpho’s comment. “What shoes should I wear with short pants. Boots would look ridiculous.”
“If anyone could pull it off….” Randolpho started but Gillian cut him off.
“Just your regular sneakers. Maybe get some deck shoes or flip flops,” she said.
“Deck shoes? Like rubber boots that fishermen wear?” I asked.
“No. Topsiders,” said Gillian.
“Topsiders are always good. You don’t have to wear socks,” said Randolpho.
“What are…”
Randolpho spoke. “Slip on shoes. I’m wearing Topsiders.”
I looked at Randolpho’s shoes and saw no difference between the top or the bottom. I do not know why these shoes are called topsiders or boat shoes. I must admit those shoes looked comfortable.
“Or huaraches,” said Gillian. Those would be cute.”
“Cute? Why do you say cute? Do they have bows? I will not wear bows with short pants. What in the world are huaraches?” I asked, ready to tell my friends to leave.
“Woven shoes,” said Gillian.
“Fine, I will wear baskets on my feet. Do not tell me crazy things like that,” I said.
“You have great legs Vlad. You need to show them off,” said Gillian.
“You could be a foot model too,” said Randolpho.
I do not know what a foot model is but I did not feel up to asking. I know I have great legs.
“Just make sure your shorts aren’t too short,” said Randolpho.
“Remember in the 80’s when guys would sit down in short shorts and let their balls fall out? I saw everybody’s balls,” Gillian said.
“Balls? Falling out? What do you mean?” I asked. What sort of madness was this?
“When guys would sit down the sorts would hike up just enough for their balls to peek out,” said Randolpho.
“Or fall out,” said Gillian. “I think half of them did it on purpose. It didn’t matter if they were warm blooded guys or Vampires.”
“Vampire balls would stick to surfaces because they were so cold,” said Randolpho. Then he laughed with a snort.
“That I know is not true,” I said, tired of Randolpho’s silly talk. “I will make sure my short pants are long enough so that my balls will be contained,” I said. That is something I never in all my years I never thought I would hear myself say.
“Big Balls! That was a fun song,” Randolpho said.
“A song about big balls?” I asked.
“AC/DC. You have to listen to some of their albums Vlad,” said Randolpho.
I said nothing. I do not wish to listen to songs about balls – big or otherwise.
This fashion and music talk wears me out. I know how to dress. I always look good, despite the heat.
~ Vlad
_______________________
Dear Diary,
Tonight was cooler.
My friend Cassie has opened her bar up after being closed for almost a year.
I helped her, as did all of the Vampires, with building an outside seating area. Cassie is not a Vampire but she is ours.
A band was playing when I arrived. They were not singing about big balls.
A good size group was in the courtyard we had set up.
I went into the bar to find Cassie. At the end of the dark bar I saw her in a somewhat passionate embrace with my good friend Randolpho. He had taken off his ridiculous hat and put it on the bar. Cassie’s hands were in his hair.
Randolpho was born in the year 1343, the same year as I was born. In all of the centuries I have known him, which is many since our mothers introduced us as small cold blood hungry infants, I have never seen Randolpho so smitten with a woman.
He has had queens and princesses and countesses begging for his attention. He has been wooed by the rich, and beautiful, and powerful. He could have his pick of any woman be it a Vampire or a warm blooded mortal woman. Randolpho had fun. My friend has his feelings hurt. He made choices both good and bad. The one thing Randolpho never did was give away his cold un-beating heart. I heard his heart beating tonight as he held Cassie in his arms and kissed her under the bottles of vodka and gin.
A cool arm came around my waist and I could feel cold lips on the back of my neck. I turned around and kissed my love Gillian.
“When did you get here?” I asked.
“A while ago. I’ve been listening to the band. Randolpho asked me to request a song,” she said.
Gillian then waved to Randolpho. He took Cassie’s hand and pulled her outside. We followed and joined our friends.
Randolpho jumped on the small stage, wearing his hat, and started to sing.
The music was loud. Randolpho belted out the words to Cassie, “YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG.”
“AC/DC,” said Gillian.
“I know,” I told her. Then I kissed her again.
Just at that time a white and black cat without a tail came up to me and rubbed around my legs. I scratched his head, that had scabs on it from fighting.
“His name is Angus,” said Gillian. “His owner died about six months ago. He hangs out in the neighborhood now. Everyone feeds him, but he needs a home, poor old guy.”
I picked up the cat called Angus. He put one paw over my shoulder and put the other paw on my chest. Then he started to purr, a low raspy grumbling purr. Angus the cat looked at me with bright green eyes and touched my cold dark Vampire soul.
“I will take you home Mr. Angus. My other two cats are female, but they will love you,” I softly told the cat. “I will protect you and they will love you.”
“They’ll love him the more because he has no balls,” said Gillian.
I laughed. “I am sure you are happy that I still have mine.”
Later that night I stroked Gillian’s hair as she lay close to me in my big bed. The three cats were downstairs sleeping on the couch as if they’d always been a family.
I had, what do they call it? When a song will not leave. An earworm. I had an earworm. You Shook Me All Night Long. It was a promise and a lovely reality.
Max pulled off his shirt and looked in the mirror.
“Damn,” he said to himself.
It wasn’t that he was incredibly good looking, which he was. It wasn’t the defined six pack and the perfect pecs, or even the amazing biceps, or the sexy forearms, or even the perfect broad shoulders.
It was the deep scratches, ugly bites, and large scrapes. There were also a couple of shallow stab wounds. All were either circled in red, or a putrid green.
He’d gone to what he thought was a typical call to help out some pretty clueless and helpless overly Gothic Vampires, and ended up in a nightmare.
The two Gothic Vampires were sitting in his living room watching “Long Shot” on Netflix, and drinking wine laced with Poet’s Blood.
Max looked in the mirror at his teeth. Thank goodness nobody had hit him in the mouth. He couldn’t risk losing a fang. Fangs took forever to grow back, not to mention the excruciating pain of it all.
What Max thought would be a routine call ended up being a three hour ordeal with not only Vampire Hunters but with a couple of random Demons who were lurking around for left overs.
After taking a shower and putting salve on his wounds, Max put on a soft sweatshirt and went to see his guests.
A small woman dressed in black lace, and a slim young looking man with long dark hair and a velvet jacket, sat close to each other on his couch.
They thanked Max for saving him. They were good kids, only about fifty years old. He was glad to have saved them from evil.
“I’ll send a security crew out to your home to make sure you have a good video system in and the right kind of locks and alarms. I also know a Witch who can do some spells to help. I know, you might not like Witches but the one I know does low level spells to give Vampire Hunters painful hives and blindness if they try to enter your home. It works like a charm.”
Max sat down and poured himself some wine, minus the blood.
Then they all watched Shitt$ Creek and laughed, knowing that tomorrow would be a new night, and that they were safe… at least for now.
~ end
Stay safe. Get your shots. Wear a mask. Be kind. Don’t be a dick. Check in on those who are alone or might need extra help. Talk to your kids. Hug a dog. And kiss a Vampire (you’ll thank me for it later.) ~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Summer is almost here and that means SUMMER READING!!!! First I have to get some business out of the way – this post has HORRIBLE formatting. I’m trying to use WordPress Blocks, which is nothing but a big BLOCK of crap. I can’t format anything in it, so please forgive the crappy look. I’ve been plagued by computer problems. I think it is my magnetic field or something. I swear sometimes I think maybe a tinfoil hat is in order.
Summer is almost here. I know we read all year long, but those warm summer evenings, or hot days in the shade or a quiet cool spot is perfect for a good story. Below is a quick list of old favorites and a NEW book from my friend J. Harrison Kemp.
Terror and ruin await those who trespass upon the palatial repository of Alizarin Soranus, self-appointed Emperor of Ordeal and Death, and the Novelties of Sorrow. For two very different groups of explorers the verbosity will become horrifically succinct.
In the wake of Soranus’ mysterious disappearance, the estate sales team of Lander and Rhoe are retained to list his extravagant collection of macabre and historical artefacts. Consequently their research rouses a dormant malevolence, hidden in the depths of the eccentric structure, one hungry for fear and pain.
When a team of paranormal investigators arrives unexpectedly, the malignance intensifies and culminates in the murderous manifestations of the interlopers’ darkest fears.
I’ve been looking forward to this book for a while. The amazing cover is by the author (aka Jason Kemp.) Keep scrolling down and you’ll see more of his work.
This book was written as a love letter to my wife Elizabeth Hobbs Atkinson. She was brutally tortured and killed by a man who had once been my friend. Her body was never found, but her legacy of love will still be here.
From the day Liz vanished I prayed for her return and for hope. The day she was pronounced legally dead I lost all hope and thought I too would die. Only my faith in God and the love Liz and I shared kept me from going off into a black abyss of hopelessness and grief.
My comfort comes from my faith and my knowledge that Liz is in a better place.
~ Gregory Atkinson
“Son of a bitch.” I put down my glass of wine and threw the book across the room.
I’m surprised the bastard hasn’t been struck by lightning. What a crock of crap and lies. Any poetic justice of my situation had gone down the drain at that moment. Greg is walking and talking and writing bestselling books about me and about our marriage… and I’m still dead… saved by a serial killer, no less. God save me and have mercy on my soul and on that abusive lying son of a bitch Gregory Atkinson. May he rot in Hell. But he did get his wish. I am in a better place. A much better place.
_________
Alex Goldstein has a thriving law practice with his wife Tasha Alexander. Life is is good. Well, except for the fact that he drinks too much, and his wife regularly cheats on him. To keep his mind off of his problems Alex writes about by serial killers. His most recent obsession is The Killer of Virtue.
Liz Hobbs is born into a large family of sneaky manipulative children with an unhealthy fear of God only ranks second to the fear of their narcissistic parents. Unfortunately she falls in love with Greg Atkinson who is far more sneaky and manipulative than she could ever imagine.
After misreading the phone number of a women’s shelter Liz ends up in office of Alexander and Goldstein. Alex helps her build a new life as his own life falls apart.
Exceptional Liars is a roller coaster ride of a book – full of unexpected twists and turns, witty dialogue and interesting characters.
Exceptional Liars was written by my writing collaborator Marla Todd.
As my friend author Mandy White said: I’ve read this book, and it’s a phenomenal story. It’s part drama, part thriller, part romance, and maybe a bit fantasy, for anyone who ever wanted to escape their life and start fresh. I highly recommend it. Read it!
Weirder Tales From WPaD (Writers, Poets, and Deviants)
I love this book so much. It isn’t because some of my stories are featured in it. I love this book because of the other well written, unexpected, and weird stories in it. As short story anthologies go this one is PERFECT for summer reading.
I’ve given away so many copies of this book, and I’ve had so many people tell me that they’ve read it and loved it. I’ll be reading it again, and again, and again.
The official description:
The warped minds of WPaD are proud to present this tribute to the bizarre:
– People who eat Tide Pods turn into detergent-craving zombies – A gift of a fishing bobber turns deadly – A woman lost in the desert befriends an ancient creature – A hole inside a closet holds unknown mysteries – A grieving father consults a psychic to solve his daughter’s murder – Two friends embark on a fantastic adventure during a game of Dungeons and Dragons – A call for help from an abandoned house leads a man to his doom – Strange explosions cause terror and speculation about the end of the world – A meteor falls from the sky, leading a woman on a surreal journey
Enjoy these stories and many more in Weirder Tales: An Omnibus of Odd Ditties.
WPaD is the acronym for Writers, Poets and Deviants. We are a diverse group of writers who came together on the Internet to support and encourage each other.
Our collaborative works are charity fundraisers, with a percentage of royalties being donated to Multiple Sclerosis in support of members of our group who live with MS. WPaD books are available worldwide in paperback and ebook. For more information, please visit our website: http//wpad.weebly.com
The cover of “Weirder Tales” is by Jason Kemp. Love this one too.
Unfortunate Souls (Book 1) (Unfortunate Souls Series) By Jade M. Phillips
Unfortunate Souls (Book 1) is the start of a new series for Jade M. Phillips, one of the princesses of paranormal romance with suspense. The author warns us that the book contains mild kissing and cursing — and some mild violence — and is meant for readers fourteen years of age or older.
That said, this is a fun book, carried by first person viewpoints, first Ruby’s, then Guy’s. The tale is told in a modern English; the viewpoint characters are up to carrying the plot. I’m not going to thumbnail this book for you, since it is the start in a series where love may not be mortal, nor hate.
If you enjoy Young Adult or New Adult fiction, and want a quick moving story with all paranormal and suspenseful elements imaginable come in to play, you’ll enjoy this first book the series — and by inference, its sequels.
Goin’ Extinct Too Apocalypse A GO-GO! From WPaD (Writers, Poets, and Deviants)
It was so much fun the first time, we decided to take another stab at ending the world in as many creative ways as possible.
When we began work on our second apocalyptic anthology in early 2019, long before the world had ever heard of COVID-19, we never would have dreamed that toilet paper and hand sanitizer would become symbols of the apocalypse.
The pandemic pushed our release to a later date than anticipated. We assumed readers had more important things on their minds and might not be in the mood for apocalyptic fiction at that time. The lockdown allowed our writers more time to write, resulting in a larger collection of stories than originally anticipated. The backdrop of the pandemic colored the mood of some of the pieces, as you will see.
We think of this book as the Extra-Big Bonus Pandemic Edition, written in a reality stranger than fiction.
Stay safe, wash your hands, and may your quarantine dreams be sweet ones.
~ The authors of WPaD
Available in paperback and electronic ebook versions on Amazon, Good Reads, Barnes and Noble and other fine online booksellers.
Be sure to pick up a copy of the first Goin’ Extinct. (If you haven’t already done so)
One of my favorite books of 2019. It is still one of my favorite new books. I can’t wait for the next one. It is a wild, crazy, and unexpected ride, AND there is a CAT.
Red Darkling by L.A. Guttler
“Red Darkling”, is a runaway Science Fiction, Fantasy, Smart Thriller, Comedy, HIT. If you haven’t read it already you need to NOW.
I loved this book and can’t wait for the next one to come out.
I’m a BIG FAN of Red and her cat and of course her Granny. For several years now I’ve been following Red’s adventures through L.A. Guettler’s short stories about Red. OMG you’ll fall in love with her.
Here is the official description:
Red Darkling’s ship is a weevil-infested piece of junk. Her smuggling business barely brings in enough credits to buy cheap beer. Alien creeps think a blaster can get them favors when their charm fails. Her only company is a glitchy cat and the occasional hook-up. Her life is dirty, dangerous, and lonely: just how she likes it.It all takes a turn for the worse when things start going well. A little too well. Partying with movie stars, weekends in paradise, troublesome people turning up dead-it’s maddening. Who is this anonymous benefactor, and why does he think she needs protecting?
Also check out the great cover by artist Jason Kemp. Nice.
Spence and Nameless ByDave Henderson
I recently had the pleasure of meeting author Dave Henderson (online but hey, we’re still social distancing).
His stories about Spence are such a delight and so original. If you want to smile and like something a little different, a little odd, and exceptionally entertaining and well written check out his work.
The official description: Nameless is just a fella who values his solitude. His only companion is a big ol’ orange and white tabby cat named Spence. They are just livin’ the life, out in their shack outside town, ‘Close enough so it ain’t so bad to get supplies, and far enough out soz no one bothers much, and the sky is open at night.’ Until one day, when Spence disappears … and things get really fecked up.
Whatever you do, never get between a man and his cat.
A fugitive finds himself in a deadly predicament- Reality show producers push the envelope to please their superiors- A group of test subjects take an unexpected journey- A rogue scientist takes genetic modification to the next level- People who eat Tide Pods turn into detergent-craving zombies- Something terrifying lurks in the Canadian wilderness- Evacuees from a doomed Earth colonize a distant planet.- A malfunctioning android threatens humanity.
Take a journey down the psycho path in Volume 3 of Mandy White’s Dysfunctional Fiction series.
After 10 years and almost 2,700 posts later I’m still blogging. Below is my very first Vampire Maman post.
I haven’t become a viral parenting blog influencer. I don’t even think the term “influencer” was out there in 2012. Not being your typical “mommy blogger” I don’t wax and wane on the perks of self care, finding the right yoga pants, or how my children are the cutest.
My youngest was in Middle School when this all started. Looking back I see that Middle School and High School are when parenting gets real. If you look hard enough you’ll find the kids are still precious and cute. If you talk to them you find that they’re a joy. They still need you to help them navigate school, friendships, and fear of the future. Impending adulthood terrifies both parents and teens.
Over the years I hope I’ve been able to get my main message TALK TO YOUR KIDS out there. My second would be to prepare your children for adulthood. One day we all grow up and we all have to fly away out of the nest. Overprotecting a child from the harsh realities of the world is only going to put them in harms way.
So how did I do? My son has now has a Masters degree in Environmental Science and has started a business with friends. We’ll see how it does. I’m super proud of them. My daughter was just excepted into graduate school at USC. They both have good relationships with friends and family. They’re both funny. They talk to their parents. They’re a joy.
I wasn’t just taking care of children. Like many parents these days I was also taking care of the elders of my family. I started writing about Eleora and Tellias, the two ancient Vampires who look as if they are college students, but act like they’re in their late 80’s. They have memory issues, and judgement issues. They need extra help. It is both rewarding and heart breaking.
Other features have come up over the years. Short Story Sunday (Tangled Tales) now features over 200 stories – both mine and guest stories. Burning Questions was a popular series I might have to bring back.
One of the most popular features has been Vlad’s Vampire Diary. Oh my goodness the amount of mail I get about Vlad’s “hotness.” It warms my heart. I also get the same amount about my brother Max.
I’ve brought in all four of my brothers, my friend Austin Durant the Vampire Hunter, and of course Nigel, everyone’s favorite ghost. Werewolves, Zombies, Demons, and other unusual folk have also graced these blog posts.
We’ve talked about love, music, being different, things that happen in the news, school shootings, death, grief, humor, cats, dogs, long hikes, rock concerts, and everything else under the moon.
Many of my favorite posts have been my December/Christmas posts. Christmas and the paranormal go hand in hand. Believe it or not Vampires love holidays, Christmas trees, and the wonders of the bright stars in the night sky.
Most of all I want to talk about parenting. By that I mean deliberate parenting. Talk to your kids. Listen to them. Listen listen listen. Don’t judge. Don’t expect them to be like you. Want them to be better than you. They can and will be better than you if you let them. I’m not a Tiger Mom. I’m a mom who hugs, love, listens, and is aware of what is going on in my child’s life.
I’m not perfect but my kids awesome. But hey, you don’t want perfect kids. Perfection is over rated and boring as hell. What you want is kids who are confident, aware, learn from their mistakes, ask questions, and see the big world around them.
Thank you to all of you who’ve been hanging out with me for the past ten years. I love you all from the deep dark depth of my Vampire heart. To all of you who are new I am glad you’re here.
As I go into the next decade I will adjust to my empty nest life, just as Vlad continues to adjust to the modern world.
I’m glad that I have been able to inspire those with and without children navigate the weirdness and not so weird times in the world in which we live.
Wear a mask. Stay safe. Be kind. Check in on those who be alone or need extra help. Don’t be a dick. Talk to your kids. Kiss a Vampire (you’ll thank me for it later.)
Jake: When everything closed down it was a challenge. It isn’t like I could just run to the store. Sure I could get by on the bottled stuff, but it isn’t the same as fresh. I need that, you know, human interaction.
Elizabeth: 2020 and 2021 proves that even if you’re the prettiest girl in the room, if nobody else is there it really doesn’t matter.
Jayne: My workload tripled during the pandemic. I didn’t have time to be creative looking for donors so I signed up for Tinder. There were plenty of guys who weren’t too concerned with social distancing. For the most part it was fun. Everyone got what they wanted. I even have a few regulars now. They say they’ve never slept better. Yeah, blood loss will do that to you.
Max: Over the past month I’ve fed almost exclusively on Vampire Hunters. You can’t believe how satisfying that is.
Gunter: I know a few bottom feeders who are going around to the homeless camps. I try to avoid it. It just seems opportunistic.
Roger: I got my shots. Moderna. You won’t be able to go anywhere without that card. Sure I could have made a fake card, but I wanted to be seen getting the shot. I wanted the experience. I have to be as close to warm blooded normal as possible.
Ginger: I went right for the easy targets. Before the election in November there was a protest at the Capitol every weekend. I went for the extreme nut jobs. Most of them didn’t believe in social distancing so there was always someone I could isolate for a quick bite.
Randolpho: Creating a bubble of close warm friends was the key to success. I’d always bring food, or books, or wine. I’d make them laugh. That was the key. I don’t want to take without leaving anything.
Stay safe. Continue to wear your mask. Be kind. Check in on those who might be alone or need extra help. Plant flowers. Don’t be a dick. Kiss a Vampire (you’ll thank me for it later.)
