Flying High

Sometimes Vampires travel. Sometimes we have to fly. Sometimes we’re asked to take other Vampires to the airport to fly.

That was me yesterday.

Tellias and Eleora the ancient Vampires in my life took a trip to Washington DC to visit friends. They’d thought about driving but half the time they can’t even find their own way home from the mail box at the end of their driveway.

I arrived at their home to find them ready to go. I was glad I’d arrived early. Eleora was dressed in a robe with a belt around the waist and rubber boots.

“Were you going to let her go out in THAT?” I asked Tellias, feeling my blood pressure rise (OK, if I had blood pressure.)

He shrugged his shoulders. “I knew you’d take care of her wardrobe issues.”

Luckily Tellias had the sense enough to wear black trousers and a black button down dress shirt with a black printed tie. He’d put his white blonde hair up in a man-bun. At over 2,000 years he looks about 19-years-old.

As always I had to find something for Eleora to wear. After about ten minutes of digging through her closet I found a blue sheath dress and a light white sweater with lace trim. Like Tellias she wore flip flops. Eleora never wears pants of any kind. I pulled her long chestnut colored curls back into a thick braid set off with a white ribbon. Like Tellias, Eleora is well over 2,000 years old but could pass for twenty-one if she wanted to.

Together we went over the checklist of items they needed: Boarding passes, IDs, fully charged phones, emergency numbers, etc.

“Do you need snacks?”

The looked at me with blank stares.

“You can’t drink blood on the plane,” I reminded them.

“Don’t be daft,” said Tellias.

“Daft. That is a silly word to use. Daft,” said Eleora. Then she started to giggle until she had to sit down.

“You can have snacks. I put a paper bag in your carry-on with snacks. You can’t take blood from anyone on the plane. Do you understand why?”

“No,” said Tellias.

“No,” echoed Eleora.

“It is a long flight Juliette,” said Tellias.

“A long flight,” said Eleora.

We were going to be late. “You’ve gone a month without any blood and done fine,” I told them as I started to haul their bags to the car.

“We were younger,” said Tellias.

“Younger,” said Eleora.

“Much younger,” said Tellias.

“Much,” said Eleora.

“I packed snacks. Please, wait until you get to Washington,” I told them.

Once on the road I found myself driving through Hell. The never ending construction had never ended. What part of sanity and good engineering went out the window then this road project was planned? Middle School students would have done better.

The road signs were down so I missed the exit to the airport. Then I turned around and missed the exit from the other direction. I used a lot of bad language (and I don’t mean grammar.)

Eleora said, “you ought to write a letter to Caltrans about it.” I wanted to yell at her but I held back. Her answer for everything is to write a letter to unknown and uncaring bureaucrats.

FINALLY we got to the airport 20 minutes later than I’d planned, only to find all of the parking garages had been closed for some unknown reason. At this point I was about to scream because I’d planned on seeing my ancient loved ones through to security. No such luck.

I suddenly thought of their seating. Eleora would be by a window. Tellias would be in the middle. Some poor soul would end up sitting next to them. Tellias can be either extremely charming or extremely unnerving. I mean, I’m not kidding, he can be creepy when he gets annoyed.

“Be polite and don’t be creepy to anyone. Please promise me that,” I said as I helped Tellias unload the bags. “You’ll have a great time.” I kissed their cool cheeks and gave them hugs. They sang me a fifteen second song and gave me a big group hug. We said I love you to each other, then I watched them go into the terminal.

They looked like two lovely young people in love, excited to travel and see the world. What could go wrong?

On the way home I avoided traffic and stopped downtown to visit my husband Teddy at his business. After a much needed hug and a kiss I headed back home.

Later in the day I was listening to the radio and heard that a plane flying to Washington DC had to make an emergency landing. Two of the flight attendants had passed out for unknown reasons.

I took a deep breath. So much for packing snacks.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman