Useful Links (and I’m not just talking sausages)

25 Useful Links (and I’m not talking sausage)

  1. Do you want to suggest someone for a TED Talk or even suggest yourself? Click Here.
  2. Do you want to donate blood? Click Here.
  3. Do you like to read a fun Vampire Paranormal Romance Series? Click Here.
  4. Would you like to read a super cool Vampire series? Click Here.
  5. Do you want to read some GREAT NEW SCIENCE FICTION? Click Here.
  6. Do you want to find a great place to stay on your next road trip? Click Here.
  7. Do you want to visit or learn about a National Park? Click Here.
  8. Do you need a festive silver-plate serving pieces for the holidays? Click Here.
  9. Do you want to learn about a great art museum? Click Here.
  10. Do you need to identify a silver pattern? Click Here.
  11. Do you want to hear a song? Click Here.
  12. Do you want to learn about Bram Stoker? Click Here.
  13. Do you want to learn about corny Vampire films? Click Here.
  14. Do you want to read articles about writing? Click Here.
  15. Do you want a great easy cookie recipe? Click Here. 
  16. Do you want to read Neil Gaiman’s Eight Rules of Writing? Click Here.
  17. Do you want to hear another song? Click Here.
  18. Do you want to learn how to knit? Click Here.
  19. Do you want to learn about Fun Goth Style? Click Here.
  20. Do you want to visit Florence, Italy? Click Here.
  21. Do you want to see a Teleporting Fat Guy? Click Here.
  22. Do you want to learn about classic movies and theater? Click Here.
  23. Do you want to read a sort-of-love story? Click Here.
  24. Do you want to read about a journey with a cat, a dog fight, and Vampires? Click Here.
  25. Do you want to learn how to make sausages? Click Here.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

oscar_artistic copy

 

pepper2017

#NanoPoblano

 

Vampire Vegas

I’m in Las Vegas.

Unfortunately I didn’t bring Vlad with me because his reactions would have been priceless.

For the past two weeks I’ve been on the road from Northern California, to Lincoln, Nebraska (for the National Roller Skating Championships), and all points in-between. Now we’re (my daughter and I) on our way home – stopping in Las Vegas for a few days to visit friends.

Vampire friends of course – my friend Amelia and her family.

Las Vegas Vampires are completely different kind of Vampires, as you can imagine. The lifestyle is completely over the top. That said, it isn’t a free for all. It is savvy, calculated, and over the top in just about every way one can imagine.

Nobody goes to Las Vegas expecting to run into Vampires, and the Vampires here like to keep it that way.

Amelia always shows up exquisitely dressed in her vintage (and vintage) inspired dresses, and knocks the socks off anyone looking for sophisticated old Vegas elegance. It is a joy to see.

In the clubs at night, by the pools, in the bars, dancing to the music, in tight short skirts, and elegant trendy menswear, the Vampires charm, and seduce. Everyone has a good time. I can guarantee you that. Sure there are a few stiff necks, and major headaches in the morning but we don’t care.  Should we? Not really. Everybody got exactly what they wanted.

So what’s on the agenda for the rest of the week, summer, year… forever?

We’re having more adventures for the next few days, then heading back up home to my husband Teddy, our pets, and the rest of our crew.

Hey, if you’re in Las Vegas make sure you check out the Arts District. Search on Arts District Las Vegas or go to Twitter at #artsdistrictlv  and visit http://msmercantilelv.com, and http://mainstreet.vegas

I’ll keep you posted on more adventures.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

Mom, can we keep him?

A couple of days ago I was traveling near the border of Utah and Colorado. I saw this cutie standing by the side of the highway begging for treats. Yes, dinosaurs are real.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Road Trips

No, I haven’t been away at some Vampire High Council meeting deciding what to do about nasty Vampires from another tribe, or discussing all of those flea bitten, tick covered Werewolves. Screw that. We don’t even DO THAT. All of the blood dripping lofty ceremony laced fiction out there gets people thinking we’re living in the 15th Century, or all dress like Victorians ALL THE TIME. I’ve been busy and we’re in a heat wave from Hell right now.

We’ll be on not one, not two, but three road trips this summer. The only place we’re not going where it is blazing and stupidly hot is Alaska.

Which brings me to a favorite subject: Vampire Road trips

Some suggest we bring freeze dried blood with us. Yes, that can be obtained by our usual sources but why? First of all we’ll just throw a cooler in the car and keep the fresh stuff on ice. We can also be guaranteed of a steady supply of truckers, hitch hikers, and Airbnb hosts.

The main thing we avoid are hookers in small desert towns (I kid you not.) It is seriously sad to see young women out trolling for truckers in the middle of the day wearing cuts offs, fishnet stockings, and heels. I look at them and wonder, “how the fuck did you end up here?”

We give a nod to the Vampires who live along those mysterious roads that seem to lead to nowhere. We give a nod to the lone Vampires in the small towns scattered across the highways. You know those towns where you wonder what people do there, and why they stay.

We will also stop to see friends along the way, both Vampires and regular folks we know.

All of my bitchiness aside, I love road trips. Driving across country with a kid (even if the kid will have just turned 18) is an amazing opportunity for both parent and child.

On our trips we’ve discussed (in-depth) music, history, art, social studies, geology, zombies, politics, cars, interesting people we’ve known, my own personal history, ways to murder someone when writing a novel, serial killers, movies, relationships, people we know, nature, dogs, cats, current events, and we wonder about things we see along the way.

We’ve seen two exceptionally handsome young men at a rest stop and wondered what two exceptionally handsome young men were doing out in the middle of the desert. We’ve stopped at a giant truck stop sort of place near the Colorado/Nebraska border and wondered where everyone was going. We’ve met a woman who said Lincoln, NE was the largest city she’d ever been to. We’ve seen roadside art, weird mysterious monuments, and a giant crater. We’ve gone to National Parks, and city parks. We’ve driven across Indian Reservations. We’ve driven through small depressed towns, and through some of the most expensive real estate in the country. We’ve been to Temple Square in Salt Lake City and stayed with a gay couple there. We’ve been to interesting little coffee houses that serve lavender scented lattes and vegan muffins. We’ve been on roads that seem to go on forever across the deserts and plains. It is hot because it is summer. It is dry because we’re driving through the West, only as far as Nebraska.

We’ll be in Nebraska this year as well. Then we’ll arrive home and a few days later head off for Alaska. But first we have to go to Fresno for an event. There is no other reason I’d go to Fresno. But in defense of Fresno, like all places, we will find interesting things to do.

So take a trip, even a day trip. You’ll learn something, and maybe even see some Vampires. We love road trips. Just don’t expose too much skin or you’ll get either sunburned or bitten.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

This guy looks interesting. Let’s show him something REALLY scary!

 

 

 

 

Flying High

Sometimes Vampires travel. Sometimes we have to fly. Sometimes we’re asked to take other Vampires to the airport to fly.

That was me yesterday.

Tellias and Eleora the ancient Vampires in my life took a trip to Washington DC to visit friends. They’d thought about driving but half the time they can’t even find their own way home from the mail box at the end of their driveway.

I arrived at their home to find them ready to go. I was glad I’d arrived early. Eleora was dressed in a robe with a belt around the waist and rubber boots.

“Were you going to let her go out in THAT?” I asked Tellias, feeling my blood pressure rise (OK, if I had blood pressure.)

He shrugged his shoulders. “I knew you’d take care of her wardrobe issues.”

Luckily Tellias had the sense enough to wear black trousers and a black button down dress shirt with a black printed tie. He’d put his white blonde hair up in a man-bun. At over 2,000 years he looks about 19-years-old.

As always I had to find something for Eleora to wear. After about ten minutes of digging through her closet I found a blue sheath dress and a light white sweater with lace trim. Like Tellias she wore flip flops. Eleora never wears pants of any kind. I pulled her long chestnut colored curls back into a thick braid set off with a white ribbon. Like Tellias, Eleora is well over 2,000 years old but could pass for twenty-one if she wanted to.

Together we went over the checklist of items they needed: Boarding passes, IDs, fully charged phones, emergency numbers, etc.

“Do you need snacks?”

The looked at me with blank stares.

“You can’t drink blood on the plane,” I reminded them.

“Don’t be daft,” said Tellias.

“Daft. That is a silly word to use. Daft,” said Eleora. Then she started to giggle until she had to sit down.

“You can have snacks. I put a paper bag in your carry-on with snacks. You can’t take blood from anyone on the plane. Do you understand why?”

“No,” said Tellias.

“No,” echoed Eleora.

“It is a long flight Juliette,” said Tellias.

“A long flight,” said Eleora.

We were going to be late. “You’ve gone a month without any blood and done fine,” I told them as I started to haul their bags to the car.

“We were younger,” said Tellias.

“Younger,” said Eleora.

“Much younger,” said Tellias.

“Much,” said Eleora.

“I packed snacks. Please, wait until you get to Washington,” I told them.

Once on the road I found myself driving through Hell. The never ending construction had never ended. What part of sanity and good engineering went out the window then this road project was planned? Middle School students would have done better.

The road signs were down so I missed the exit to the airport. Then I turned around and missed the exit from the other direction. I used a lot of bad language (and I don’t mean grammar.)

Eleora said, “you ought to write a letter to Caltrans about it.” I wanted to yell at her but I held back. Her answer for everything is to write a letter to unknown and uncaring bureaucrats.

FINALLY we got to the airport 20 minutes later than I’d planned, only to find all of the parking garages had been closed for some unknown reason. At this point I was about to scream because I’d planned on seeing my ancient loved ones through to security. No such luck.

I suddenly thought of their seating. Eleora would be by a window. Tellias would be in the middle. Some poor soul would end up sitting next to them. Tellias can be either extremely charming or extremely unnerving. I mean, I’m not kidding, he can be creepy when he gets annoyed.

“Be polite and don’t be creepy to anyone. Please promise me that,” I said as I helped Tellias unload the bags. “You’ll have a great time.” I kissed their cool cheeks and gave them hugs. They sang me a fifteen second song and gave me a big group hug. We said I love you to each other, then I watched them go into the terminal.

They looked like two lovely young people in love, excited to travel and see the world. What could go wrong?

On the way home I avoided traffic and stopped downtown to visit my husband Teddy at his business. After a much needed hug and a kiss I headed back home.

Later in the day I was listening to the radio and heard that a plane flying to Washington DC had to make an emergency landing. Two of the flight attendants had passed out for unknown reasons.

I took a deep breath. So much for packing snacks.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

On The Road

I’m on the road this week – a Vampire in a hot strange land with confusing traffic patterns. I discovered great coffee (the best I’ve had in years), a wonderful used record store and a few other hidden gems.

As a Vampire one learns to seek and find entertainments, odd spots, art, natural wonders and interesting people no matter where you go. A wasteland to most can be a place of interest to a Vampire.

Or not.

The Vampire community here is small and somewhat sketchy. Despite that, they are well educated and living out of the gutters and dark sad places that most of the population seems to dwell in. They are college professors and musicians and farmers. They hold on tight to their small community and don’t readily let in new members. By that I mean they don’t make new Vampires here. Their numbers never grow.

I met them out on a farm, in the middle of a vineyard, in a new and luxurious home. Old friends. Old stories. Older memories. Yet, there was an exchange of new stories as well.

Iced blood flowed out of bottles into frosted goblets. We put aside our usual hushed tones and laughed out loud.

My friend Judith and I made our way down to the wine cellar where she showed me her latest vintage from her winery a few miles north of the main house.

“We own this place. We always have. Always will,” she said to me. “I hear you’ve been having issues up North.”

“What have you heard?” I asked.

“Rogue Vampires, problems with Shadow Creepers and Vampire Hunters to start.”

“Add an abundance of new Vampires to that mix,” I added. “The fun never ends.”

We talked and solved the problems of the world. We laughed as old friends do and then went back up to the heat with the others.

Everyplace you go has its shares of worries and woes. Everyplace also has its own traditions and charms. Almost. I guess there is  no place like home… even if you’re a Vampire.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman