Musings on the Moon and More Earthly Matters

When you live in a house where the resident Ghost tells you he thinks your siblings are weird…

Then you live in my house.

I have four older brothers so the possibilities and variations of weirdness are endless. They’re also all Vampires but that is another post, and you already know that.

This week has been weird in so many ways. There was a joke about gathering at Area 51 that people are taking seriously. The term I fucked him in a windmill, twice, is now part of our vernacular (we love you Hannah Brown.) I won’t even mention politics and the crazy asshat idiot Kool Aid that everyone is drinking.

As for my cats…my cats. One eats all the time and then barfs it all up. She eats FAST so the other cat can’t eat anything. She also scratches up all of the furniture and barfs up hair balls. The other cat pees on everything and sings the loud songs of his people as loudly as he can about three hours into any given sleep cycle. I hate my cats. I really do – even the one who looks like a Steinlen cat. Did I mention that my cats hate each other with a wild passion that I could have never imagined? They do. Fortunately the dog love both of them so that is one less bull shit thing I don’t have to deal with.

And speaking of CATS. I love the musical. I saw it in London in 1988 and much later, about twelve years ago in Sacramento. The preview of the new movie kind of looks like a feline version of the film Moulin Rouge. The spirit of ToulouseLautrec and most of all Steinlen’s cats will either be celebrating or rolling over in their graves. 

Here is the trailer in case you haven’t seen it.

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Here is the movie trailer.

 

Oh I DO hope the movie version of CATS is wonderful!

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The most famous of Steinlen’s many cats. He drew a lot of calicos too.

 

I know, you’re thinking Juliette where are you going with this insane rambling? I started out with an idea of writing about my next road trip which starts SUNDAY.

As you know, each year, since a while back, my daughter and I have taken road trips to the National Roller Skating Championships. We’ve gone down Route 66, seen dinosaurs, gotten lost in Colorado, stayed a week in Ray’s Basement, stopped in Las Vegas, and had all kinds of adventures as only a mother and daughter Vampire team can have. Well, we’re at it again, but this year rather than traveling across to the MidWest or down to the SouthWest, we are going UP to the NorthWest.

I’ll have my wits about me by then, my computer, and I’ll post from the road.

The most important event, maybe the most important event ever in the history of history, happened fifty years ago.

It was, and still is AMAZING. No more words are needed.

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I have seen so many amazing things. I have so many amazing stories. I can’t top a story of a man walking on the moon.

A final word about Neil Armstrong. Have tissues ready.

When he passed on, Armstrong’s family released a statement describing him as a “reluctant American hero [who had] served his nation proudly, as a navy fighter pilot, test pilot, and astronaut … While we mourn the loss of a very good man, we also celebrate his remarkable life and hope that it serves as an example to young people around the world to work hard to make their dreams come true, to be willing to explore and push the limits, and to selflessly serve a cause greater than themselves. For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request. Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink.” It prompted many responses, including the twitter hashtag “#WinkAtTheMoon”

Think good thoughts. Talk with your kids. Vote. Hug. Love. Be a good Vampire. Look at the moon and keep the wonder in your heart and soul. Wink at the Moon.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

50 Mysteries and Mysterious Questions: Is anybody out there?

Saturday is HERE again!

I’m happy to announce a new question series and the opportunity for YOU to answer new polls about interesting and mysterious mysteries.

50 Mysteries and Mysterious Questions

For the first one, since this is last minute, and because of a recent weird story about Area 51, and the fact that we’ve really messed things up here on planet earth, is about life in other parts of the universe.

This first one is rough (aren’t they all) but stay with me.

And YES there will be CATS and VAMPIRES too.

Is anybody out there? Ask Joe Elliot. I bet he knows. Hey, if I was an alien from another planet I’d come the extra light years to see Def Leppard live.

But back to the real story…

Straight from the headlines today: 640K people want to raid Area 51 to ‘see them aliens’

Apparently a Facebook group has organized this event to take place, and of course it is a fake, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if it was real. People are weird. People are stupid. Do you REALLY think the government would keep space aliens and their ships in a place everyone knows about.

Silly stuff aside, do you think we’re alone in the universe?

My last post mentioned Star Trek and Star Wars. For centuries humans have imagined traveling to the stars and finding life on other planets. It is in our DNA. I’ve even written several science fiction stories for the WPaD publications.

The idea of life on other planets inspires art. You have to love the pulp science fiction art or something is seriously wrong with you.

The thought of other life in the universe also inspires hope.

When Galileo Galilei said the Earth was not the center of the universe, but revolved around the sun there was an uproar of the highest order. In 1632 the Pope was offended by such radical views. Galileo was threatened, the safety of his beloved children was threatened and he was put under house arrest. This was tragic. Unfortunately this kind of crap is still going on.

The middle finger from Galileo’s right hand, is currently on exhibition at the Museo Galileo in Florence, Italy. No doubt that is a sly way to say “F you” to everyone who doubted him and caused him so much harm.

Galileo’s eldest daughter Virginia changed her name to Marie Celeste when she became a nun. Celeste means heavenly, or look up in the sky and gaze upon the beauty of the stars.

By the way, I will be covering the mystery of the Mary Celeste in a later post.

Here on Vampiremaman.com I’ve followed in the steps of both Galileo and Carl Sagan by covering important stories about life on other planets.

When the Voyager, with the golden disc detailing human life left our solar system it was a huge deal. Now anyone or anything can find it and know who we are, and where we are. Of course the fact that Chuck Berry is on it is a sure fire way to get folks to our planet. Roll over Beethoven and send me to the planet Earth!

 

One morning a few years ago I heard on the news that there is no methane on Mars.

“No farts,” said my son.

“No boys on Mars.” said my daughter.

“What no cats?” I said that, knowing it wasn’t true. There have to be cats on Mars. We have proof from The Opportunity Rover on Mars!

You can also count on the fact that there are Vampires on Mars as well.

And speaking of mysteries on Mars and Earth. Another one has just been solved.

Mystery Solved!

 

I’d hate to think that we are alone in the universe. I find that thought extremely sad.

We’ve been to the moon. We’ve sent small probes like the Voyager outside of our solar system.

Many people claim that we’ve had visitors from other planets. Some even think that we originally came from another planet (I don’t think so. We’re so messed up and weird that I don’t think we would have come from somewhere else unless we were booted out for being assholes.)

Yes, as odd as we are, there is goodness here. There is beauty. There is Yosemite. Come visit us alien folks. I’ll smoke some ribs and put the beer on ice. Like Fox Moller, I want to believe.

She blinded me with science

So ANSWER THE POLL and leave comments below. Let’s talk about this. Help solve this mystery.

 

Come back next week for another Mysterious Mystery Question. Happy Caturday!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Short Story Sunday: Desert Sky

Martha put a lawn chair in front of the motor home and looked into the night sky. Sometimes the desert would get freezing at night, but tonight it was almost warm. A million stars showed in the sky above her. She’d heard stories of alien sightings in the desert. It was always the desert where they were sighted in the sky, or crashed. When they crashed nobody ever saw them again.

She wondered about the odd pale skinned creatures with long fingers, tiny mouths, and huge eyes. Maybe the huge eyes came from living on a dark planet, or living underground for eons.

It was weird how they never wore clothes. It was weird how they were shown as naked when in every science fiction movie and series, from Star Trek, to X-files, to Firefly, to Star Wars, to Gardians of the Galaxy, everyone always wore clothes.

The only time she remembered seeing a naked man in a movie in the desert was in The Hangover. It was in the desert, in Las Vegas. A naked guy jumped out of the trunk of a car. He wasn’t an alien.

Sam and Ian came out of the motor home with chairs and a small cooler. Sam handed Martha a beer. The thanked him, then they all sat and looked at the stars.

“Do you think there is anyone else out there? There has to be. We can’t be here all alone,” said Martha.

“I think we’re alone here. But I don’t think we’re alone in the universe or even this galaxy,” said Sam.

Martha glanced at her companions. Sam was tall, blonde and handsome as a man could be. Sam fit into any group with his tan skin, dark hair, and dazzling smile. Martha was typical of women in her hometown. She was pretty but not too pretty with plain brown hair that hung to her shoulders in a slight flip.

“I’m kind of homesick, but the people around here are nice. I think we should move back to the house in San Francisco in a few days, or maybe by that place we were looking at in Santa Cruze, you know by the beach. I could hang out there for a while.”

“We could start a family,” said Sam. Ian looked at Martha with a hopeful, and sort of sad smile.

“There is an Air Force base near Las Vegas. Maybe we should go over there and just give ourselves up.”

“Or maybe we should move to Santa Cruz,” said Ian.

“We’re never going home,” said Martha wiping a tear from her eyes.

“No love, we’re stuck on this planet. It’s not a bad place. We fit in. Let’s just make the best of it.”

Martha looked into the faces of her companions. I guess with their combined love they could pull through on this strange planet called Earth. She got another beer out of the cooler, popped the top, and too a long drink out of it.

“Sure guys, Santa Cruz sounds great,” she said. The she looked back to the sky and watched for something, anything familiar.

~ end

 

 

 

Cats, Coyotes and Clips

The coyote was back last night yipping and howling behind my house. I think it wants some nearby chickens but I can’t tell.

I can read the hearts and souls of humans but I can’t read coyotes. Nobody can read a coyote.

Someone once told me that beings from another planet system, a system with 4 inhabited planets (imagine that) visited Earth (our Earth) 8,000 years ago. They found a calm place of peace and harmony. When the came back recently they found humans had been taken over by creatures with the motto Control All Traterrestrials. Those were CATS

First of all that isn’t true. I don’t think aliens from other planets visit us these days (the Vampires would know about it). We’re a beautiful blue ball but once you get here, aside from the cats it can look pretty bad. We live in a weird place – due to the human population and NOT the cats. Don’t blame it on the cats. For centuries people blamed things on the cats.

Cats are responsible for the barf stains on the carpet, the scratched up chairs and… well that is about it. They’re usually pretty cute and darling little shits.

But unlike their coyote friends, cats were smart. They found a good gig with humans. They’re like trophy wives. Their job is to be cute and they get everything they want. They sleep all day, they eat when they want, they don’t have to work, they get petted all the time, they think you’re crazy if you don’t love them.

And hey, speaking of aliens, did you hear that Area 51 is real? I knew that. We all knew that. And of course the whole alien thing was a bunch of hooey. Click here from a clip about it. But there are coyotes there, in area 51.

Then there is Area Z where the Zombies are kept. Thank goodness there isn’t an Area V (Vampire) or I’d have to call out both the cats and coyotes and a lot more… maybe some aliens.

This bit of haphazard random thoughts was brought by a challenge that said “think of a bunch of words then pick three and write”. Since Random is my middle name (ok it is really Annette) I shared my random thought with you this morning. Now time to sleep or maybe coffee…

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/17/daily-prompt-haphazard/

Oh one more thing. Coyotes are smart. So smart in fact that they DO live near people who have cats because cats are EASY DINNER. So if you live near coyotes (even in urban coyote areas) PLEASE keep your cats in at night.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

kiss me

kiss me