Category Archives: Answers

25 Burning Questions I can’t, don’t want to answer, or will not answer.

by

0

I’ve been seriously thinking about starting up the ever so popular Burning Questions series on this blog again. For those of you who are new here, it is where I ask a question and YOU answer.

In the meantime here are Twenty Five Burning Questions I can’t answer, don’t want to answer, or will not answer.

Why would anyone marry someone with children who don’t like them?

Why would anyone marry something with children they don’t like?

Why would anyone marry someone with children who don’t like them?

Why would you marry someone who doesn’t like your kids?

Why won’t you turn me into a vampire? 

Why would anyone who wants children marry someone who doesn’t?

Why would someone who doesn’t want children marry someone who wants children?

Why do people adopt animals with no intention on keeping them forever?

Why do people treat children badly just because the parents are assholes?

What Hogwarts house do you belong to?

What would your Superpower be?

Batman or Superman?

Why don’t your socks match?

Where do socks go after you put them in the dryer?

What is the deal with middle aged men and their leaf blowers?

What is it with some politician’s wives and daughters and the obsessions with wearing 7-8 inch hooker heels?

Don’t men realize how stupid and pathetic they look with their much younger trophy wives?

Don’t trophy wives realize how stupid and pathetic everyone thinks they are?

Why do dogs beg to out to pee in the middle of the night in the rain then refuse to pee?

Why are cats such assholes?

Why are some people afraid to talk to their children?

Why does the media think precocious brats are cute? 

What the fuck is wrong with people who say, “everything happens for a reason?”

Why do you blog about Vampires?

Why do you capitalize Vampire on this blog?

What if your child was gay?

As you can tell some of these questions have answers. Think about it, especially if you’ve been reading my blog for a while. I take parenting seriously. If your kids don’t come first then why did you have them in the first place? Everyone has to be selfish but not at the expense of your children. If you want to fuck up your kids it isn’t your business – it is their business and they will hate you forever for it. They might not tell you but they will. That’s all. Yes, I’m an old judgmental Vampire, but this is my blog and my kids turned out great and so I can write what I want.

Stay safe. Wear your mask. Be kind. Help and check in on those who are elderly or might need extra help. Talk to your kids. Hug your dog. Let your cat in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out. And most important of all…kiss a Vampire.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

.

Questions Answered, Advice Dished Out, Just Ask Juliette

by

0

crowletter

Need Advice? Click here for forty five (45) posts with answers to most of your questions about parenting, relationships, love, Vampires, life, and anything you every wondered about.

https://vampiremaman.com/ask-juliette-advice-for-everything/

Welcome to “Ask Juliette” aka “Ask a Vampire” a not so regular semi-regular feature here at vampiremaman.com.

I answer all sorts of questions about life, love, Vampires, parenting, pets, possums, paranormal, wine, cheese, art, and anything else YOU need answers for or help with.

If you have a question leave it in the comment section below or send me an email message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail.com.

I will be starting up “Ask Juliette” again as a regular Saturday feature. So send me a question, a problem to be solved, or just something gripping, funny, or odd you want to discuss.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Vampire mom

 

50 Mysteries and Mysterious Questions: Is anybody out there?

by

2

Saturday is HERE again!

I’m happy to announce a new question series and the opportunity for YOU to answer new polls about interesting and mysterious mysteries.

50 Mysteries and Mysterious Questions

For the first one, since this is last minute, and because of a recent weird story about Area 51, and the fact that we’ve really messed things up here on planet earth, is about life in other parts of the universe.

This first one is rough (aren’t they all) but stay with me.

And YES there will be CATS and VAMPIRES too.

Is anybody out there? Ask Joe Elliot. I bet he knows. Hey, if I was an alien from another planet I’d come the extra light years to see Def Leppard live.

But back to the real story…

Straight from the headlines today: 640K people want to raid Area 51 to ‘see them aliens’

Apparently a Facebook group has organized this event to take place, and of course it is a fake, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if it was real. People are weird. People are stupid. Do you REALLY think the government would keep space aliens and their ships in a place everyone knows about.

Silly stuff aside, do you think we’re alone in the universe?

My last post mentioned Star Trek and Star Wars. For centuries humans have imagined traveling to the stars and finding life on other planets. It is in our DNA. I’ve even written several science fiction stories for the WPaD publications.

The idea of life on other planets inspires art. You have to love the pulp science fiction art or something is seriously wrong with you.

The thought of other life in the universe also inspires hope.

When Galileo Galilei said the Earth was not the center of the universe, but revolved around the sun there was an uproar of the highest order. In 1632 the Pope was offended by such radical views. Galileo was threatened, the safety of his beloved children was threatened and he was put under house arrest. This was tragic. Unfortunately this kind of crap is still going on.

The middle finger from Galileo’s right hand, is currently on exhibition at the Museo Galileo in Florence, Italy. No doubt that is a sly way to say “F you” to everyone who doubted him and caused him so much harm.

Galileo’s eldest daughter Virginia changed her name to Marie Celeste when she became a nun. Celeste means heavenly, or look up in the sky and gaze upon the beauty of the stars.

By the way, I will be covering the mystery of the Mary Celeste in a later post.

Here on Vampiremaman.com I’ve followed in the steps of both Galileo and Carl Sagan by covering important stories about life on other planets.

When the Voyager, with the golden disc detailing human life left our solar system it was a huge deal. Now anyone or anything can find it and know who we are, and where we are. Of course the fact that Chuck Berry is on it is a sure fire way to get folks to our planet. Roll over Beethoven and send me to the planet Earth!

 

One morning a few years ago I heard on the news that there is no methane on Mars.

“No farts,” said my son.

“No boys on Mars.” said my daughter.

“What no cats?” I said that, knowing it wasn’t true. There have to be cats on Mars. We have proof from The Opportunity Rover on Mars!

You can also count on the fact that there are Vampires on Mars as well.

And speaking of mysteries on Mars and Earth. Another one has just been solved.

Mystery Solved!

 

I’d hate to think that we are alone in the universe. I find that thought extremely sad.

We’ve been to the moon. We’ve sent small probes like the Voyager outside of our solar system.

Many people claim that we’ve had visitors from other planets. Some even think that we originally came from another planet (I don’t think so. We’re so messed up and weird that I don’t think we would have come from somewhere else unless we were booted out for being assholes.)

Yes, as odd as we are, there is goodness here. There is beauty. There is Yosemite. Come visit us alien folks. I’ll smoke some ribs and put the beer on ice. Like Fox Moller, I want to believe.

She blinded me with science

So ANSWER THE POLL and leave comments below. Let’s talk about this. Help solve this mystery.

 

Come back next week for another Mysterious Mystery Question. Happy Caturday!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

An odd blog exchange.

by

6

So you wanna be a Vampire?  I get messages and questions along these lines from time to time. There is the weird SPAMMING guy, who I think is from England who claims to be a Vampire. I’ve blocked him with SPAM filters.
Then there are those random message exchanges like this one. 

 

Buck  June 17, 2019 at 12:20 pm
I m bor of mu life please convert me into vampire
Reply
Juliette KingsJune 17, 2019 at 12:30 pm
If you’re bored now you’ll still be bored as a Vampire. Unfortunately that is the way things are in the paranormal world.
Reply
BuckJune 17, 2019 at 10:05 pm
I seen every thing and my childhood wish is change into vampire I try to talk satan but its very difficult please help me
Reply
Juliette Kings  June 18, 2019 at 11:59 am
We’re not talking to Satan. As Vampires we don’t talk to anyone or let ourselves be ruled by anyone. We’re not demons. Sorry can’t help
Buck June 18, 2019 at 1:27 pm
As I know u know how to convert in vampire I wish please tell me
Reply
Buck June 18, 2019 at 1:29 pm
My life is like death please help me try to understand my choice please tell me how To convert in vampire I do anything
Juliette KingsJune 18, 2019 at 7:33 pm
Go to college. Get a degree. Meet a girl. Fall in love. Get a good job. Get a dog. You have to be in a good place before anyone will consider having you join the Vampire community.
Buck
I want all but as next life I like please tell me how my transform a vampire please please…
Juliette Kings
No
Featured Image -- 18965
That is where it ended. I suppose I should do my usual thing and talk about how happiness should come from within, and that if you ask here about Vampire conversion the answer will always be NO. But I’ll just leave it for today.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Ask Juliette: About Vampire Powers, and GOT

by

Welcome to “Ask Juliette” aka “Ask a Vampire” a not so regular semi-regular feature here at vampiremaman.com.

I answer all sorts of questions about life, love, Vampires, parenting, pets, wine, cheese, art, and anything else YOU need answers for or help with. If you have a question leave it in the comment section below or send me an email message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail.com.

So here we go.

crowletter

Dear Juliette: I’m working on becoming a vampire. Could you please tell me about vampire powers? I also want to know if vampires can change their physical appearance (like getting taller or changing their face) or can they learn to do so? Thanks!!

I’m not sure what you mean by working on becoming a vampire. You’re either a vampire or you’re not. If you want to become a Vampire find a reliable and trusted community of Vampires to help you out. It isn’t all about drinking blood. 

As for powers, I like to think of it as Vampire specific abilities or talents.

Yes, Vampires can change their physical appearance as much as anyone else can. Fortunately we can also make people THINK we look different than we actually do. We can’t get taller unless one is a child. 

We (Vampires) can also give you sweet dreams or bad dreams. That is one of our most useful tools.

We can erase short term memories. We can give you long term memories. We can lock our eyes on yours and make you do all kinds of things. That is the sure fire defense against Vampire Hunters. We’re quiet. We’re strong. We’re pretty fast for the most part. We can seem invisible. 

Vampires know when someone is telling a lie.

One of my favorite traits is that people are extremely attracted to us. Seriously. There is no need to climb through bedroom windows and creep around to find donors. People like us. Of course they do. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Vampires heal fast. We can also heal each other, and regular people (if we feel like it.)

However, we can’t always find our keys, or the mates to our socks, or top lids that match the bottom – just like everyone else. 

Contrary to popular belief we do not sparkle (unless we use glitter lotion), we do not burn to a crisp in the sun, we don’t avoid mirrors, crosses and other religious symbols don’t burn us. Sure we avoid churches because we’re not welcome. Some of us are more sensitive to the sun, but that is true with any population group. 

Vampires like coffee. Food with a lot of sugar (and carbs) tend to make us extremely sick. We usually don’t eat birds/poultry.

Vampires have a strong connection to animals.

Vampires can see Ghosts, Demons, Angels, Spirits, Fairies, and all sorts of beings most regular people can’t see.

When writing Vampires start words like Vampire, Werewolf, and Ghost, with a capitol letter. 

As a rule Vampires are not overly fond of Time Travelers.

As with everyone else, each Vampire has their own special powers/skills. The longer you’re a Vampire the more you’ll learn and refine those skills.

Of course, if you’re the kind of Vampire who has no soul that is entirely another set of answers. I won’t go their this morning. I haven’t finished my coffee yet so I’m not up to that conversation.

For more information about Vampires browse though my blog. There are about 2,000 posts here and a good portion are about Vampires. The other posts are about parenting, cats, coffee, and other assorted unrelated subjects.

Good luck on your transformation. I hope it is what you really want.

 

crowletter

Dear Juliette: Who do you think will be left at the end of Game of Thrones?

I don’t know, but if any dragons are left they can send them to my house.  

 

And NOW a shameless plug. If you like fantasy and dragons check out the WPaD Anthology Dragons and Dreams. Available at all fine online booksellers. Proceeds go to support those with MS.

dragons-and-dreams-2

Thanks for coming by. Now I’m off to find more coffee and then vacuum tons of dog hair off of my carpets.

If you have a question or if you just want to know what I think about something feel free to ask.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Alice

My dog Alice

Burning Question #24: Reason Enough

by

4

The Internet connection at my house is down. Thank you Xfinity for providing equipment that doesn’t work. In the meantime I’m at the local coffee place where there is  a connection. That is why this post is late today – but I’m here. I’m here with your Burning Question. Come rain or snow or no Internet…

Do you ever notice (maybe not if your life isn’t like mine) that when stuff happens, like the Internet going down, it is always when there are deadlines, and a zillion other things that NEED to be done. After I catch up on my work, including blog posts, I will be going home to tie dye tee shirts for a 60’s hippy party tonight. I will also be making a desert. I don’t eat desert but I can make it. I am also a master of tie dye. The interior of my house is also still torn up due to a massive painting/remodel project. I might be a Vampire but I sure as Hell don’t live in a crypt.

Last night I was out with some girlfriends, doing what Vampire girlfriends do, and talking life, and love, and old friends. It always comes back to how some have a charmed existence and others end up living in a crypt, or under the floorboards of an old house. Why is that? Is it fate? Bad choices? Chance? Bad luck? Bad influences? Good Karma? Or is it just the random order of the universe mixed with the glaring look of those cats who we all know really control everything?

Which brings us to Burning Question #24.

Burning Question #24: Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

 

I have a funny, well sort of weird story for you. A few years ago I was out in my yard trying to deal with a yellow jacket nest under the brick walk way that leads up to my front door. A couple of nice men came by to tell me about God and religion and handed me a pamphlet. Their theme that afternoon was “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” All of the sudden the yellow jackets swarmed us. I was pulling yellow jackets out of the gentlemen’s hair. Then I ran up my front steps and one of the little bastards stung me on the foot. The rest of the story is from my daughter. She said I yelled the biggest F bomb ever. I hear the look on the men’s faces was priceless. Was it meant to be? Preordained? Or was it just a bunch of random stinging assholes?

So you tell me. Seriously, answer the poll. I don’t track this or sell your information. I have shirts to tie dye and other work to do. See you all again soon. I have some dirt on my brothers and I hear Vlad is up to his usual confused silliness.

And by the way, if something bad happens to someone you know, like a death of a loved on, or an illness, or a catastrophic event, whatever you do, DO NOT tell them that it happened for a reason. That is just an asshole move that only someone with a soul of a yellow jacket would say.

xoxo

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Unknown-1