Answers To Your Questions About Vampires: Pandemic Edition

Yes, Vampires wear masks. We need to blend in.

Yes, sometimes it is annoying when fangs get caught in masks, but we wear them anyway.

Yes we get vaccinated.

No I will not explain why.

Most of us don’t sleep in coffins or even basements. Why would we?

Sunscreen.

Hats.

Sunglasses.

It is a challenge. Those who have lived in isolated locations or places with extreme weather might have been more prepared but not always. Listen, if you are in a lockdown situation and the usual food sources can’t be accessed as easily then you have to get creative. That is why I always recommend every Vampire has regular trusted sources. You have to prepare.

Maybe some mild symptoms but no, not really. Anything goes away within a few hours.

Yes, the fires in the West have made it difficult for Werewolves who traditionally retreat to the mountains when the moon is full.

Yes, just like regular warm blood folks, some Vampires can be quite disgusting. We try to avoid them.

No my husband does not wear red lined opera capes.

Yellow flip flops.

After they’re graduated from high school we teach our sons to stay away from high school girls. It is the same for warm blooded people. Don’t be disgusting.

Yes, we can see ghosts. Yes, they are annoying AF.

No.

No.

No.

Maybe, but no.

Turning someone into a Vampire is risky. Most don’t survive. It is not recommended as a last ditch effort to save someone who is ill. Yeah, I wanted to make this funny too, but leave it to the scientists and medical professionals.

No. We do not drink the blood of dogs and cats. WTF Jethro?

We have our sources.

Goblins aren’t even primates. I don’t know what the hell they are.

No. Never mix bleach with Oxyclean. It will turn your clothes pink.

You can wear whatever color nail polish you want.

Yes, we can make you forget we were ever here.

What? Why? Seriously why would you even ask that?

The answer will always be no.

Halloween.

Oh we’re really just a bunch of sentimental fools.

No more questions for today. If you need any additional answers to your questions about Vampires leave your question in the comment section and maybe I’ll answer it.

Stay safe. Wear your mask when required. Thank a medical professional, firefighter, teacher, or any other first responder. Get vaccinated. Don’t be a dick. Be kind. Check in on those who are elderly, ancient, might need extra help, or are alone. Hug your dogs and cats. Talk to your kids. And kiss a Vampire (you’ll thank me for it later.)

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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