Burning Question #28: Apple Pie

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Pie!

There are all sorts of pies. Everybody has a favorite.

This is the time of year when the new crops of apples are being harvested. So APPLE PIE is the subject of today’s feel good, non-offensive BURNING QUESTION.

There are some who say, “Actually, apple pie isn’t American.” Shut your pie hole. Nothing is more American than Apple Pie. That is like saying “BBQ isn’t American because the current breeds of cattle used for commercial use originally came from Scotland.”

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Yes, we all went to school with that kid. Our kids had to deal with them. We’ve worked with that guy. Dude, chill. It is just a saying. Now go get yourself a piece of apple pie with ice cream on it and feel good about yourself and the people around you (yes, this IS a parenting blog too.)

Apple pie is universal. Where there are apples there is pie.

Apple Pie.

Everybody loves pie. Even I, who has to say no to most pie (because I’m a Vampire) love pie, or at least the idea of pie.

I once made an apple pie with no recipe. It actually turned out really great. Woo Hoo. The key is to not make the apples too sweet. When in doubt go light on the sugar. The second key is to keep the shortening or butter in the crust COLD COLD COLD and don’t over mix it. That way it will turn out nice and flakey. And one more thing – ALWAYS use good crisp tart apples. Granny Smiths are good. Stay away from Fuji apples for pie. They’re great for eating but not so much for pie. However if you throw in a couple of Golden Delicious (not the red) it adds a nice naturally sweet flavor.

Juliette Trivia: I like to bake more than I like to eat what I bake. I’m not even tempted to eat it. I like giving it away.

Apple Trivia: Apples were first cultivated in Centeral Asia, but they have been cultivated in Asia and Europe for thousands of years. The European settlers brought apples to America (and Canada and Mexico.)  Wherever people go they bring their apples with them.

My children did not learn about Johnny Appleseed in school. When I told them about him they thought it was a weird story.

This week’s burning question will leave with all kind of warm and fuzzy fall fun. How do you like your apple pie?

 

 

Should Apple Pie be eaten plain, with cheddar cheese or with vanilla ice cream?

 

 

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Honey, don’t you need a pot holder? You can tell she is some sort of paranormal person, because otherwise her hand would be burning.

If you have more thoughts on pie let me know. Leave something nice (like pie) in the comment section. If apple isn’t your favorite tell me what is? Or do you prefer savory pie. Or are you feeling like math today and pi? Please share.

Check back next week for another BURNING QUESTION. 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Burning Question #27: One, two, three, Sasquatch and Thee.

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There she was just a-walkin’ down the street, singin’ “Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do” Snappin’ her fingers and shufflin’ her feet, singin’ “Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do” She looked good (looked good), she looked fine (looked fine) She looked good, she looked fine and I nearly lost my mind

Warning: This week’s burning question might be considered by some to be in poor taste. If you have a delicate whatever just wait for Short Story Sunday and I’ll have a nice sweet romance for you instead of this obnoxious post. Otherwise read on.

Call it Bigfoot. Call them Sasquatches. Call them Yeti. Whatever you call them you know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about big hairy folks who live in the woods of Northern California, the Pacific Northwest, Western Canada, Florida, and other places far and wide. They aren’t exactly human, but could be some left over human ancestors. They aren’t apes. They aren’t bears. We don’t know what exactly they are.

To change the subject… I talk a lot about relationships on my blog. I am one of the most popular love letter experts on the Internet (yes I am – that is a fact.) I’m a romantic. But when it comes to relationships I’m also a realist. Relationships aren’t all romance and silly pet names. And there are rules to romance, sort of, maybe. Well not really these days. There were a lot more rules when I was younger, but then again I’m a Vampire so all bets are off…anyway…lets’ get back on track with this thing so you can answer the poll (and be totally grossed out and disturbed.)

When adults date (we’re not talking teens here so don’t get all flipped out) there is what is known as the Third Date Rule. That is where if you make it to the third date THAT is the date where you sleep with each other. Yes, sex, not napping. Napping is good too, but you need to stay awake for this. It is, yes it is, generally accepted that if you make it to the third date you’d better be wearing your matching bra and panty set. You’d better not be wearing your underwear (boxers or briefs guys) that looks like Swiss cheese because of all the holes. It definitely better NOT smell like Swiss cheese either. The third date is the make it or break it night. And seriously, you generally know by a third date if you’re attracted to someone.

Some people also believe that the third date is the big day with those who are abducted by space aliens too. Hey, I’m not making this shit up. I did my research. But that kind of probing is kind of icky so I’m not going to ask you about it. I will NEVER ask you about THAT.

But how about other bipedal types. What about a SASQUATCH. You go out into the woods and see a Squatch. Six months later it comes up to the window in your cabin. You smile at it. It smiles at you. You scream. It runs away. But what if it comes back a few nights later? What if you decide to throw in the towel and get to know each other. What if love is in the air? Does that third date rule apply?

Burning Question #27: Does the third date rule apply to Bigfoot / Sasquatch sightings?

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Jason Momoa out in the wild doing his thing.

If you honestly don’t know about the third date rule CLICK HERE. Please.

From Urban Dictionary:
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Are there any cryptozoologists out there? Any Bigfoot/Squatch hunters? Any Sasquatch bloggers? Any Sasquatch Romance writers? (seriously Sasquatch romance is a thing. Don’t judge. OK if you want to judge or laugh that is ok. Look it up.)

Share your thoughts. 

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Harry from “Harry and the Hendersons.” The best Bigfoot movie ever. It is sooooo cute.

Here is a related story I wrote a while back: CLICK HERE.

But seriously folks I was going to ask about Lex Luther and Lois Lane but I already know the truth about them.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Burning Question #26: Pumpkin Spice

This just might be the most controversial Burning Question to date. 

Fall is almost here. ALMOST. It is cooling off in my neck of the woods but I know September will bring out one last evil HOT SPELL despite the fact that the trees in my neighborhood are starting to turn yellow and red. I live in California so unless you live in the mountains there is a snowball’s chance in Hell we’ll have a nice crisp Autumn in September.

Along with leaves fall means HALLOWEEN, sweaters, more fur on the pets, busy little birds, and PUMPKIN SPICE.

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I almost always put cinnamon in my coffee, year around. Sometimes I add a bit of nutmeg. This week I’m adding some sugar free coconut flavor. When the weather cools down I just get lazy and buy a small container of Pumpkin Pie Spice. YES that is PUMPKIN SPICE. Some people add actual pumpkin puree to their coffee but that gets you into the gross-stuff-at-the-bottom-of-the-cup territory. And who has time for that?

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But there are those who don’t like Pumpkin Spice anything. They don’t understand. They despise the excitement and fluttery joy brought on my this mix of spices and caffeine. Seriously, is there too much Pumpkin Spice BS out there? Not just coffee but everything from muffins to air freshners to cat food.

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So where do you stand on this important issue? It is still 90 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Do you really want anything like pumpkin or are you still working on summer strawberry flavors and trying to keep cool? Or do you believe that if Pumpkin Spice is here that FALL will surely follow.

Burning Question #26: Is it ever too early for PUMPKIN SPICE?

 

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So I leave you with thoughts of nice drinks and thoughts of lovely weather and maybe that elusive, what is that called, that thing when water falls out of the sky. Oh right. Rain. It is called rain. I haven’t seen any of that since April. But I can get a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

See you next Saturday for the next Burning Question.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Burning Question #24: Reason Enough

The Internet connection at my house is down. Thank you Xfinity for providing equipment that doesn’t work. In the meantime I’m at the local coffee place where there is  a connection. That is why this post is late today – but I’m here. I’m here with your Burning Question. Come rain or snow or no Internet…

Do you ever notice (maybe not if your life isn’t like mine) that when stuff happens, like the Internet going down, it is always when there are deadlines, and a zillion other things that NEED to be done. After I catch up on my work, including blog posts, I will be going home to tie dye tee shirts for a 60’s hippy party tonight. I will also be making a desert. I don’t eat desert but I can make it. I am also a master of tie dye. The interior of my house is also still torn up due to a massive painting/remodel project. I might be a Vampire but I sure as Hell don’t live in a crypt.

Last night I was out with some girlfriends, doing what Vampire girlfriends do, and talking life, and love, and old friends. It always comes back to how some have a charmed existence and others end up living in a crypt, or under the floorboards of an old house. Why is that? Is it fate? Bad choices? Chance? Bad luck? Bad influences? Good Karma? Or is it just the random order of the universe mixed with the glaring look of those cats who we all know really control everything?

Which brings us to Burning Question #24.

Burning Question #24: Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

 

I have a funny, well sort of weird story for you. A few years ago I was out in my yard trying to deal with a yellow jacket nest under the brick walk way that leads up to my front door. A couple of nice men came by to tell me about God and religion and handed me a pamphlet. Their theme that afternoon was “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” All of the sudden the yellow jackets swarmed us. I was pulling yellow jackets out of the gentlemen’s hair. Then I ran up my front steps and one of the little bastards stung me on the foot. The rest of the story is from my daughter. She said I yelled the biggest F bomb ever. I hear the look on the men’s faces was priceless. Was it meant to be? Preordained? Or was it just a bunch of random stinging assholes?

So you tell me. Seriously, answer the poll. I don’t track this or sell your information. I have shirts to tie dye and other work to do. See you all again soon. I have some dirt on my brothers and I hear Vlad is up to his usual confused silliness.

And by the way, if something bad happens to someone you know, like a death of a loved on, or an illness, or a catastrophic event, whatever you do, DO NOT tell them that it happened for a reason. That is just an asshole move that only someone with a soul of a yellow jacket would say.

xoxo

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Burning Question #23: Brain Drain

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Today’s burning question is sure to boggle your mind. 

We often (by we I mean the general we, not you and me) speak of how smart humans are, or more often than not, how stupid individuals are.

We also speak about how some groups of people run seemingly blind to all reason and some do not. Don’t even get me started on politics. Seriously, don’t. Don’t you start either.

I try to talk to my children about the reasoning behind some groups and the dangerous notion of group think. We wonder if they will ever change. This is of course on the negative side of humanity. Why do people join cults? Why do people join extremist or destructive hateful organizations? Why do people embrace ignorance rather than look for answers? Why are some people curious and some aren’t? Is it society? Are we just stupid by nature? Have we reached our limits?

Do you ever wish you were smarter? Maybe just a bit?

Of course we know there are no limits on how smart Vampires are. LOL. Just kidding. I know plenty of Vampires who are willing to prove to everyone what jack asses they are.

Yes, I know you were expecting something funny. Here you go.

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Burning Question #23: Is there a limit to how smart individuals and communities can be?

 

I hope with all of my heart that the answer is NO. If you’re a parent or have children in your lives please tell them the answer is NO. There is no limits to how smart one can be. The same goes with compassion, humor, and love. No limits.

But feel free to answer how YOU want to answer.

Feel free to share any thoughts, strong opinions, puns, childhood stories, or poetry in the comments section.

Thank you for dropping by and answering this Burning Question.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Burning Question #22: Hotter than the pavement outside (with a bit of horror)

It is too hot to even think right now – about 107 F outside and the air conditioning isn’t what it should be…so I’m inspired by something even hotter than the pavement in front of my house – Vincent Price.

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Vincent Price is one of my favorite actors. He was wonderful in the dark mystery “Laura.” I saw him live in the early 80’s as Oscar Wilde.

Oh and that voice. He had such a wonderful mesmerizing voice.

The weirdest thing (something I just found out) is that he played Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith in one of his early movies. I kid you not.

Of course anyone who was around in the 1970’s will remember all of the Hammer films and other “creature features” of late night TV along with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.

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From Wikipedia:

Vincent Leonard Price Jr. (May 27, 1911 – October 25, 1993) was an American actor, known for his performances in horror films. His career spanned other genres, including film noir, drama, mystery, thriller, and comedy. He appeared on stage, television, radio, and more than one hundred films. 

Price was an art collector and consultant, with a degree in art history, lecturing and writing books on the subject. Additionally, he was the founder of the eponymous Vincent Price Art Museum in California.

An example of his outspoken political action came when he concluded an old-time radio episode of The Saint, entitled “Author of Murder”, which aired on NBC Radio on July 30, 1950. He denounced racial and religious prejudice as a form of poison and claimed Americans must actively fight against it because racial and religious prejudice within the United States fuels support for the nation’s enemies.

Price was supportive of his daughter, who came out and was critical of Anita Bryant‘s anti-gay campaign in the 1970s. He was an honorary board member of PFLAG and among the first celebrities to appear in public service announcements discussing AIDS with the public

Not only was he an amazing actor and dad but he was also an accomplished cook and had his own cooking show in the UK. 

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You might only remember Vincent Price from all of the old Poe related and vampire movies. Watch this and you’ll change your mind (click here).

Warning ladies: You’ll want to watch it over and over and over. You’ll swoon for sure.

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Burning Question #22: Is Vincent Price Smoking Hot or What?!?

Here are just a few more photos. Be inspired. Have fun. Read Poe. Watch a Vincent Price movie.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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