Musings on Middle School, Empty Nests, Change, and Cryptozoologists

I used to write horror… I mean posts about Middle School. That seems like a long time ago. The mornings with angry mom’s before their coffee kicked in trying to get their kids out of the mini van door without death or dismemberment. There were those with hormonal rages and anger issues – and that was just the parents. The kids were going through puberty too.

After that we all blew through high school with little or no angst. Yes, parents of wee ones, don’t listen to the people who say in their best witches voices, “Just you wait until that child is in high school. You’ll hate them. They’ll hate you. They’ll be sexed up druggies and there is nothing you can do about it.” Seriously, I kid you not, people say things like that to pregnant women and women with babies. Ignore that shit storm of negativity. Ignore it. Don’t eat that poison apple. Don’t be around people like that.

Last week we were in Orange County taking yet another college tour I believe the child have found a home at UCI  (Zot! Zot! Zot!) aka University of California Irvine.

So in a year I will be living in a home without children. They will always been near. We will text. We will talk. We will send funny things over social media. They will call me and come home for holidays and just because. And I will visit them. You’ve read the blog. You know we’re close.

Aside from a childless house, I’m sure you already know, I’m going through other transitions. Major career changes have turned things in a different direction for me and it is perfect timing. So I’m kind of like an octopus with all of my arms going in different directions.

Oh, I have a joke. I made this one up. What do you call a cat who lives underwater? A quadrapuss. 

Now that I’m doing a do over I’ve made a list of ten things I need to do.

Empty Nest Transition List

  1. Change my job title on LinkedIn to Cryptozoologist.
  2. Paint with wild abandon. Note: I didn’t say whether this is my walls or art. This is a burning question and the answer is BOTH.
  3. Start a Vampire blog. Continue blogging about parenting and Vampires and everything else. I really should start a Werewolf blog or maybe help Nigel start his own blog. Yes, Nigel the Ghost. Or maybe not. 
  4. Learn advanced plumbing.
  5. Landscape my back yard.
  6. Make Vlad’s Vampire Diary into a Major Motion Picture.
  7. Win an Oscar.
  8. Write.
  9. Seek out strange new worlds.
  10. Finish. Anything. Just finish. FINISH.

What is on your list? Oh come on, we can be cryptozoologists together. It will be fun, especially if you become a Vampire too (or if you’re already one.)

My brain is empty. I’ll see you next time for Burning Question #23.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Vlad and Gillian Make a Movie

And while we’re here… Can you believe the guys in Journey really dressed like this. Cryptozoology.









He can give her dreams or make her forget …

“I’ve been to places so remote that there are no ghosts,

There is no love,

No law,

With no memory of anything good,

Or pure,

Or real.

That is the place, or places I go,

To get away,

And find myself,

but it isn’t working,

but I still like to go there.

It is where I go,

just me.

I didn’t think anyone would understand except you.



The orange cat my brother Andy called Nimrod sat on the counter singing the song of dinnertime. Nimrod had showed up three weeks prior after being left by his previous owners in a two million dollar foreclosure. What a bunch of assholes abandoning a cat to chance.

The baby unicorn that was supposed to be a temporary occupant was still there after almost a year. It padded on soft hooves behind him like a iridescent shadow.

After living alone for so long and being on the road so much it was nice to settle in and be a homebody for a change. He’d spent time redesigning his music studio and working on original compositions. Old friends dropped by on a regular basis. New friends filled his contact list. Nimrod and the Unicorn needed him.

Shawna was asleep, nestled in his bed her brown hair falling over the pillow. He knew her hair was gray under the brown color. It didn’t matter.

He sank his teeth into her neck. She’d never know. He had told her that he’d NEVER do THAT. Famous last words of a Vampire. But seriously what does she expect? The guy is a Vampire.

“Have you thought of becoming a Vampire? I’m asking you seriously,” he said to her softly.

She didn’t say anything. He knew she didn’t have an answer.

“Either way Shawna I love you. We could do it on Halloween, or wait until you had a break, maybe take a month and go away, or we could stay here. Come for Christmas.”

She put her warm hand on his cool cheek. “Andy, I don’t want to drink blood.”

“It isn’t what you think it is.”

“Let me see your fangs.”

He showed her. Andy has magnificent fangs.

Anyway, after a bit more pillow talk he made love to her all the while telling her how he needed her. She had never imagined it was possible to be so lost in the arms of a man. She never imagined being so exquisitely lost naked and willing in the embrace of a Vampire. He told that he thought she was beautiful in a way that was rare and precious beyond his own words. She looked into his eyes and saw something that made her want to stay in his arms forever and at the same time run away.

I don’t think he understands that Shawna isn’t sold on him. She doesn’t understand him or his world yet. It all seems so odd to her. One day she was living her normal life and the next thing you know she was dancing on the beach with a Vampire.

He drank her blood, he can sometimes read her mind, he can give her dreams or make her forget and he frightens her. Andy doesn’t realize that. Well he does realize it but he won’t accept it. It would be as if Nimrod decided to make friends with a song bird or a mouse.

But you have to admit that for Shawna, college professor, single mom, warm blooded human,  this is really weird. I mean really really weird. It is also exciting to has such a forbidden love with a sensuous and passionate Vampire like Andy.

We’ve always been Vampires and known about the other side of life so our normal is slightly different from Shawna’s perception of normal (a lot different.)

Well, as you can see there is absolutely no point in this post. My head is still spinning with my last encounter with the Ancient Vampires who need my help and other assorted pressures of my life right now, so I don’t have the energy to deal with Andy’s love life, but I like to listen to his stories and I’m always here to talk with him and give him my support. He stays in touch with my children (18 and 15) a fact that means the world to me. They absolutely adore him.

Nimrod on the other hand has a world of stories to tell but his vocabulary is somewhat limited. Maybe I can help him out with that.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman




Morning Dew

Fall has come

Crisp and clear

Morning dew

Brings birds

And ghosts

Who dance in the woods

Behind my house

In celebration of

October passages

To the land of those who are between.




~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman