Red Dress, White Trim, A Dancing Ghost and the Quiet Musings of a Vampire Mom

December is almost here…

Red Dress, White Trim, A Dancing Ghost and the Quiet Musings of a Vampire Mom

She was a shining light in the forest, not a ghost who haunts but a ghost who dances to her own music.

I watched from my window as Mary danced in the woods. She wore not clothing of the 15th century when she lived, but a red mini dress with white fur trim on the hem and bell shaped sleeves. A long Santa had was on her head with a fluffy white ball at the tip. Bells adorned the top of her white over-the-knee boots. Her red-brown hair was braided with gold ribbon. When you’re a ghost you can wear what you want, do what you want, dance and love when you want.

That is if you don’t let your own ghosts get in the way. That was Mary.

Had it been any other ghost she would have annoyed the crap out of me, but since it was Mary I was enchanted. She is like a little elf who haunts my kitchen as she sits in front hot cups of coffee taking in the aroma. We chat about romance and fashion. She is a delightful little spirit.

Sometimes she slips and shows her own bloody and mangled murdered form but today she dances with joy to a long lost Christmas song.

A coyote yipped close by, down in the brush and Mary vanished. Damn coyotes. The cats lifted their heads at the noise. My dog didn’t even acknowledge the existence of her coyote cousins. Had it been a Golden Retriever she would have been all over it’s ass, but she had no time for coyotes.

Just as most Vampires have no time for ghosts.

I stood in front of the window with a glass of red wine in my hand watching the rain. My husband Teddy came up behind me and kissed my neck.

“What color do you want to paint the living room?”

“I don’t know. It depends on what color flooring we get,” I said putting my arms around his neck and kissing him.

I know that has nothing to do with ghosts but it has everything to do with how things go around my house. Just little bits, like a fragment of a song or just a small bite of something good.

His face turned a little bit serious. “Clara said one of her fangs is bothering her.”

Not again I thought. Teens can get sloppy and are always hurting themselves. It isn’t anything anybody would notice, but it IS always something Mom (that means me) has to take care of.

“I’ll take care of it. Did you see the ghost darling?”

He missed her unfortunately. And so we started our evening discussing the news of the day, work, our kids, what color we want to paint the walls, what we’d wear to the next black tie party and other things married people talk about. What? Did you think we talk about spider webs, bats and blood all night? Hardly. We’re no Dracula and Elvira. Nobody we know is that.

Teddy asked me if I was going to tell anymore Christmas stories here. I think I will. I will also repost The Travelers (my favorite Christmas story) soon.

In the meantime, just imagine a tiny young transparent woman dancing in her red mini dress under the canopy of oak trees to the music of Tchaikovsky and Johnny Marks.

Have a lovely December,


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Christmas Haunting with My Ghost of Christmas Present

I was out before the sun came up walking the dog. It was cold and foggy and beautiful. My mind is on good cheer, family, friends and a wonderful glowing sense of contentment. That didn’t last for long. Of course it was that damn ghost.

I suddenly was walking along side of me looking me up and down like I was a prime rib.

“Look at you all decked out in black like a perfect little Vampire,” he said with a slight snarl.

“My jeans are blue asshole,” I snarled back.

He was wearing a green tweed coat with a great red scarf. I have no idea why because ghosts don’t get cold. I could see his girlfriend (another ghost) dancing on the trail ahead of us wearing a red elf dress trimmed in red fur complete with a Santa cap and high black fur trimmed boots, and gloves.

The ghost walked backwards in front of me. “You’ve been a very bad girl Juliette. I can smell the blood of last night’s hunt on your breath. How does it feel to be a thief who steals from the bodies of others?”

The night before I did spend some time with a few blood donors – a couple of hip young men who owned their own successful graphic design and web business. I got what I needed and they’ll feel happy and content for the next two weeks.

“It’s a win-win situation ghost. Don’t get on your high horse and rat on me.”

“You’re so undead.”

“I’m very much alive. You are the one who is dead. What horrible thing did you do to be a ghost?”

“I was murdered. So was she.” He motioned to the ghostly girl 40 feet ahead of us who was singing Christmas songs.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I wanted to tell him that I bet he deserved it, but I doubted that. Being a ghost makes one quite bitter, but still, there is no excuse for his rudeness.

“It’s ok.”

“What are you doing for Christmas?” I asked knowing that ghosts never answer questions like that.

“Do me a favor Juliette.” He looked at me with harsh judging eyes. “Don’t do any hunting on Christmas.”

“Of course not.” I said, wishing my dog would growl or bark or do something. No she likes the ghost. All dogs like ghosts. Go figure.

“I have another thing to say.” He looked at me again but this time with a more gentle expression. “I would have thought that Vampires would be horrible parents. You know, the kind that spawn their kids then send them off flying like little bats. That or you’d bring them human babies to chew on and keep them in dark basements teaching them blood lust and how to bring terror to the world. I’ll have to admit that I was wrong on every point. You might be a Vampire but you’re a damn good mother. Your kids are great. You should be proud, not just of your offspring but of yourself. I wish I’d had a mother like you.”

“I am proud of my children. I take parenting seriously.”  I have to admit I was profoundly touched by his words.

“You even write a blog about your parenting thoughts.” He said with a twinkle in his eye.

“That too.” I said surprised he knew.

“It’s a stupid blog.” He put his head back and laughed about his insult. I wondered that he might be right.

“Go away.” I said to the ghost.

“Merry Christmas Vampire Mom.”

“Merry Christmas Ghost.”

And then he and his elf girl ghost vanished into the fog as the sun came over the hills in the distance.


Merry Christmas to all,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

time for christmas