Notoriously Hot (ramblings in the heat)

At 108 degrees farenheit it is too hot. Way too hot. It is one of those days where I wish humans were cold-blooded because I don’t want anything that doesn’t have ice in it. At 98.6 degrees the average human is no treat for any Vampire in this weather.

With a body temperature running more than slightly on the cold side and an aversion to sunlight as it is – I am so cranky and bitchy right now I can hardly stand it. Vampires tend to be cold weather creatures so I’m wondering why I’m living in such a HOT place right now.

Then on top of it all I get a call from my mother asking me to do one more thing to help out my brother who is “in an emotional slump” and I explode “He is single and doing FINE in my book. I have two kids, a husband, a business AND I’m taking care of the elders this summer. NO. He can call me but I don’t have time for HIS DRAMA.” My brother Aaron, the other sibling with kids and a business and too much on his plate told her the same thing. There are two other brothers who need to step up to the plate….but…excuse me for the vent. A lot of us, Vampire or not are dealing with the summer HEAT and nasty issues…I am so hot I feel like rotting Zombie.

And no bitching or correcting my spelling or grammar today – it is too hot and my connection is slow and you don’t want a crabby Vampire on your hands.

In the meantime my darling husband finally fixed the air conditioning (yes, it went out just as the triple digits hit) and said “Honey, I recorded your favorite movie.”

We’d planned on going out but we decided to stay in with ice-cold cocktails and one of my favorite movies Notorious (1946) with Ingrid Bergman, Cary Grant and Claude Raines.

220px-Notorious_posterThat movie covers every side of hot and cold that a movie can. Did I mention it was directed by Alfred Hitchcock? It was.

The plot: Alicia is a party girl with a German father and American mother. The movie starts when her father is thrown in prison for being a spy. Later, at a party, with a lot of free-flowing booze, a friend brings a mysterious and ever so handsome man. The attraction is there. He is Devlin, an American spy. To get to the point, the attraction turns to something more. You have to read between the lines, or watch and listen between the lines in this movie because of the censorship laws back then. Anyway, she has a reputation but is in love with him. He loves her but he holds back due to the typical double standard male ego.

Soooo to make a long story short and confusing…They go to Brazil (where the nuts come from) and fall in love even more and are obviously hula dancing (you know what I’m talking about but they can’t say it or show it in old movies – the teens found this very confusing).

But THEN the head spy decides, since she is already a slut (and these guys are so into slut shaming) she should marry or at least sleep with a bad German Sebastian (played brilliantly by Claude Raines) and find out what he, his friends and his creepy mother are up to. Alecia is shocked. Devlin is against it but says nothing, waiting for her to decide for herself. She figures he doesn’t love her and is a cold-hearted bastard so she says yes. What choice does she have?

So she married Sebastian but still keeps in touch with her handler Devlin (who she is still in love with). But wait – she and Devlin discover Sebastian and his creepy friends and evil mother are storing uranium ore in wine bottles. Who would have thought?

220px-Notorious1946Fast forward…the Evil Husband and his Creepy mother find out Alicia is a spy and poison her. Devlin worried that he hasn’t seen her for a week, goes to rescue her and realized in the MOST romantic scene ever that he loves her. LOVES HER in the worst and best possible way. The end.

You HAVE to watch it (just for her clothes and Cary Grant’s beautiful face if nothing else.)

So over ice-cold drinks we (husband, kids and me) huddled on the couch in the dark and watched the movie. The teens quickly left when it was over. I was happy and a little cooler.

Next we’re going to force the kids to watch Casablanca with us. Never has a better movie been made.

Garrett (age 17) asked us (the parents) “What did you do before air conditioning.”

We went to the coast for the summer or at least to San Francisco. We sort of stopped going to San Francisco for the entire summer after the earthquake (1906) but my parents did rebuild and still live there. I was in Monterey when it happened. Teddy (my husband but not yet) was living in Europe with my brother Max. We DO need to start going to the coast  and mountains more to cool off but with two teens and our busy lives…we just don’t do it enough. It was easier when the kids were small, but…you know how it is.

All I can say is THANK GOODNESS we don’t wear corsets and a thousand layers of clothing anymore. Not that we always did during the summer months back then.

I called up the elders to make sure they were staying cool. Thank goodness their neighbor checked in on them too.

In this hot weather please make sure that you check in on friends and family members who are elderly or who otherwise might forget to turn on the air conditioning. Some people are like frogs. You a frog in cold pan. It sits there all comfortable cool and happy. Then you turn on the heat and watch as the frog just sits, not even realizing the heat was turned on until it is cooked. That is what happens to some people (and even some  Vampires and Werewolves who don’t know better.)

And make sure your pets have plenty of cool water.

The kids started to ask about the Donner Party but I told them that was a story for another day. The Donner Party on a day like today? Really?

So keep cool. Keep happy. Stay sane.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

A Vampire Muses on Movies in Three Minutes or Less – Frankenstein (1931)

A Vampire Muses on Movies in Three Minutes or Less – Frankenstein

The morning started out when I went out to my car and it looked like something the size of a pterodactyl pooped on my car.

We all have those days where everything seems to go wrong or just stupid. That is doubly true when it comes to children. We’ve all had those calls from the school or wondered if our kids even have brains half the time. But all kidding aside (not really, we’re going to continue kidding)…

If you think you had a bad day just think about Dr. Frankenstein the day his monster/creation/kid got loose. All that hard work and … well you know the story.

Boy meets girl, boy decides to create life (he can do that with the girl in an easy and fun way but he’d rather make something out of reanimated DEAD flesh), Boy hires an assistant who can’t do anything right, assistant gets the wrong brain, Boy builds a giant man, giant creature man comes to life, assistant is an ass and scares the giant creature man with fire, giant creature man goes nuts and everyone in the village chases the monster man to an old windmill, burn it down and well…THAT my friends is on crappy day.

You know, Dr. Frank if you’d just married the girl and had a little monster the old fashioned way… But that doesn’t make a good movie.

So the point of this entry is to tell you that I had a wonderful time last night seeing the 1931 movie Frankenstein with the wonderful Boris Karloff! TMC is showing old classics on the big screen again at local movie theaters – not the art theaters but at regular theaters that we go to with our kids (check your local listings).

By today’s standards it was almost quaint. The story was a little clunky. The acting melodramatic (in the best way). But hands down it is still a great movie!

Boris Karloff gives the monster such life and expression! You are almost cheering for him and not the poor village people.

The one scene that just hit my heart though and was THE horrifying scene was when the father of the dead child Maria carried her lifeless little body through the streets. I wondered “Why couldn’t Dr. Frankenstein bring little Maria back to life?”  Another story perhaps.

I hate to admit it (not really) that I kept thinking of Mel Brook’s Young Frankenstein the entire time.  But luckily I didn’t think of the Warhol version until just now.

A lot of movie theaters are now playing some of the old classics and I urge you all to go check them out. The next show we’re seeing on the big screen is “To Kill A Mockingbird”. I can’t wait.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Hotter than the pavement outside – Vincent Price!

It is too hot to even think right now – about 107 F outside and the air conditioning isn’t what it should be…so I’m re-posting something hotter than the pavement in front of my house – Vincent Price.

Enjoy and stay cool!

You might just remember Vincent Price from all of the old Poe related and vampire movies. Watch this and you’ll change your mind (click here).

Warning ladies: You’ll want to watch it over and over and over. You’ll swoon for sure.