Saturday Morning Funnies (Meme Fest)

I love anything funny. Yes, Vampires do have a sense of humor (and so do parents.)

Soooooo, since I’m kind of away from my computer this weekend I’m posting some of my favorite memes.

Have a fun and funny weekend.

xoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Wardrobe for 2019

Get it together Gentlemen!

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You Don’t Tug on Superman’s Cape

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It is almost 5:30 p.m. and 107 degrees Farenheight outside. I’m going to piss someone off with this post but maybe not. It is just too hot to care. Just like old people and tiny children who just say whatever they want.

This morning I took Eleora to the art museum. It was lovely. She made rude comments about the modern art. She made a racist remark about someone walking along outside of the museum. She is old. She forgets things. I said nothing this time. I just changed the subject. When one is with a 2000+ year old Vampire one learns to change the subject quite frequently.

Then we had lunch (a lovely cold type A blood soup with heirloom tomatoes) with my husband who was on a political roll. By then it was over a hundred degrees outside. I thought about our daughter who’d gone up north with her boyfriend to spend time in a cabin. It is only 102F there today. The poor kids are going to swelter. At least I know they’ll wear their sunscreen.

And now I’m home in my quiet house waiting for the cool dark night and Vampire things.   But that got me thinking about mysteries and strange heated things like the mystery surrounding George Reeves, and Christopher Reeve and coincidences and other strange things like Superman. I never think of Superman, except… maybe it is the heat. Maybe it has something to do with no spitting in the wind…

I’ve never been a big fan of the Superman franchise. Except for Christopher Reeve, and of course George Reeves, all of the other movie depictions have made him seem like some sort of weird overly pretty sissy. I love pretty men, but … come on you know what I’m talking about. These guys aren’t Supermen. They’re fashion models. No offense to fashion models – fuck it – I can’t say anything these days without offending someone.

But in defense of the not so masculine and memorable Supermen, they should consider themselves lucky.

Christopher Reeve, who was insanely talented in so many ways, and was also a heart-throb in the romantic movie “Somewhere in Time,” was in a riding accident. Tragically he became a paraplegic. But that didn’t stop him. It showed that he WAS Superman in body and soul. You know what happened. It was tragic, but he kept going. Damn.

George Reeves was murdered. The case has not been solved. Any thought on this would be interesting to hear.

The guy who originally illustrated Superman also drew S&M comics. The guy who drew Donald Duck also drew beautiful racy women (I have one of his original nudes in my own bedroom.) OK enough of these fun facts some of you might not have known.

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By Carl Barks who later created Donald Duck. I wonder which illustrations he had more fun drawing. I have the original sketch of this in my bedroom. I think he enjoyed this one more than any duck.

I found a box of old comics including a large lot of Lois Lane, Superman’s Girlfriend. These are the weirdest comic books in the known universe. These were from the late 50’s and early 60’s, before the influence of Marlo Thomas and Mary Tyler Moore. Holy shit Lois made a fool of herself over Superman and Clark Kent. Seriously Lois, if you can’t recognize a guy when he changes his part and takes off his glasses then you need to get your eyes checked. Lois was smart, sexy, but always gave off the vibe that she really wanted to be a bad girl. She wanted to be a modern girl who was a woman with equal standing with men AND equal pay. She wanted to be the one wearing the tights.

It is 107 degrees farenheit outside (I already said that but I’ll say it again) and my brain is fried, but not enough to stop me from thinking about Lois.

 

The Bomb

A Lois Lane Story from Juliette aka Vampire Maman

“What the hell Clark? Tights?”

“I wear them to yoga, and palates.”

He was fantastic, but then again as soon as he opened his mouth to talk I was ready to fall asleep.

But my god the man was good in bed.

The next day I was still investigating a murder, and I stopped for coffee at a place called Krypto Coffee. I’m sitting there taking notes and sipping my iced vanilla latte when some bald guy sits down and tries to sweet talk me. He tells me how rich he is and treats me like I’m some dumb bimbo ready to fawn all over him.

I just picked up my drink and left. Fuck I hate when that happens. What is it with guys around here?

No sooner had I walked out there was an explosion in the building across the street. I could hear the sirens. I ran across and tried to help the injured people coming out of the building. Then I get body slammed and something picks me up and I’m all the sudden up in the sky.

I had the breath knocked out of me, and then I realized that I was in the arms of a flying man.

“I’m Superman,” he said.

“Please put me down,” I told him.

“I’m here to save you,” he said.

Then I looked at his face. “What the fuck Clark? Jesus Christ on a bicycle put me down.”

“How’d you know it was me?”

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That is all I have right now. I’ll add my own illustrations to the story later. Maybe.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. Stay cool. Have fun. And don’t mess around with Jim.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

Vampirella

A friend of mine is selling some vintage Vampirella comics sooooooo, I thought I’d share some of the fabulous covers.

These are nuts. I don’t know how she keeps that red thing on her body (dried blood?) but it seems to work, at least most of the time.

For those of you who haven’t read these riveting stories, after coming to earth from her Vampire planet (which of course is now dead) Vampirella becomes a “good” vampire, and devotes her energy to ridding our world of the evil kind (the Dracula type of guys.)

Vampirella was the creation of  Forrest J Ackerman and comic book artist Trina Robbins of Warren Publishing. Warren is now gone but Vampirella, like all good Vampires, lives on forever.

The artwork is fantastic.

So have fun, as always.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman (and no I don’t dress like her.)

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Links to the sales are below:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vampirella-47-48-49-2-copies-50-Fantastic-Artwork-Great-Condition-/192093834237?ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vampirella-16-40-41-42-43-44-45-46-8-issues-/192093979401?ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vampirella-23-Fantastic-Artwork-Great-Condition-/192093967506?ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vampirella-30-34-35-37-37-38-39-7-issues-Beautiful-/192095836485?ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

Dracula Lives

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Oh the romance with Vampires. Who doesn’t love a well dressed blood sucking man coming into their bedroom in the middle of the night? Nothing makes you feel sexy like the scrape of a fang against your neck, or the sound of your heart beating with fear in your exposed chest.

Monster magazines and comics have always been, and always will be popular. My favorites are the Fanzeens – wonderful publications created by fans.

The artwork is absolutely beautiful in the fanzines and small craft publications.

The artwork is absolutely beautiful in the fanzines and small craft publications.

Yesterday I visited my friend Steve who somehow ended up with boxes of monster magazines that he is now selling on ebay (super cheap thrills – priced to sell.) Of course I was immediately attracted to the artwork on these things. I’d frame a lot of this stuff. Just imagine a wall of eight or nine framed pieces in a square arrangement. Nice.

I’m just going to share a few so you can get your classic movie type Vampire fix (since you usually don’t get it here since I’m not that kind of Vampire, well, not usually.)

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Just when you think you have some privacy with your girl and somebody else shows up…

 

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What’s for dinner? Stakes!

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Monster Magic from Forest J Ackerman

Monster Magic from Forest J Ackerman

 

Vlad to see you. Vampire thrills for everyone! Cheap thrills too.

Vlad to see you. Vampire thrills for everyone! Cheap thrills too.

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Hope you enjoyed the artwork.

This week more and more old monster, Vampire, Frankenstein, Aliens, Star Wars, and other related film magazines and comic books will go up for auction. All auctions start at $0.99. Yes, everything is going for cheap. There are also “buy it now” opportunities. Some of the descriptions are as good/fun as the magazines.

The seller is sfk1999. He usually specializes in watches, estate jewelry and other antiques, but lucky for us this week he has monsters and Vampires.

And today a couple of Peter Cushing autographs are going up for sale. Woo Hoo.

Click here to the link for one of the auctions then check out everything else he is selling: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Dracula-Lives-May-1975-12-Marvel-Monster-Group-Stan-Lee-Presents-/182065279100?hash=item2a63efb07c:g:UAUAAOSwxcRW84-r

If you’re interested in buying everything left in this huge stash Steve has (a lot hasn’t been posted yet on ebay) call him at his shop: Crown Precious Metals, Sacramento California (in beautiful East Sacramento.) (916) 456-6227.

Have fun.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman