Spay it again Sam

We all need our dogs.

We all need our dogs.


Our dog was spayed today. Thanks SPCA.

At ten months old she weighs seventy-five pounds. She will get larger.

So in the meantime Clara asked if dogs will get phantom uterus when they’re spayed.

Then Teddy said that would be a great name for a band. Phantom Uterus.

Then I said, “When they finish a song they can say ovary and out.”

My child laughed and my husband Teddy threw up his hands and said, “Where does she come up with this stuff?”

Then it turned to Uranus puns. You know where that leads.

That is it for tonight. Got to get back to the Giants/Cubs game. Let’s Go Giants!


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman




Life gives us options (and it’s not just about you)

I received a weird email from someone asking if I’d re-post a blog article called “Seven Reasons not to Have Kids.” OK folks, this IS first and foremost a parenting blog (I’m a little different, but I’m a mom and that is my blogging viewpoint).  It is none of my business whether you want kids or not. I don’t care – I just care that you are happy with your choices and live a well-adjusted responsible life.

But that said, it got me thinking about how rabid and opinionated people can be when it comes to viewing the life choices others make. I’m amazed at how threatened others can be about the life choices of others.

If someone writes a blog about having only one child,  insecure mother’s with multiple kids (I’m talking 6 or more) get rabid and start posting hate mail. I just want to say “This isn’t about you. It is about families with only one child.” I use this as an example because I recently read an article called “What NOT to say to a parent with one child.” I thought it was a very well written article about how rude people can be to parents with only one child or only children –  but oh the mean-spirited comments. What is wrong with people? Like I said “It isn’t about YOU.”

Same goes with large families – don’t go after good mom’s with lots of kids. Big families are fun. Little families are fun. All good parents have fun families. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have (or don’t have) as long as it works for you. Now cats are another matter…but that’s another blog posting.

Then there are the young vs old moms. Give me a f***ing break, it doesn’t matter how old you were when you gave birth. Nobody cares as long as you’re a good parent. Just shut the F up about it. Our kids don’t need to hear it. Of course being a Vampire, most of us ARE MUCH older when we start our families (I was 135). But this all applies to ALL parents not just those of us who are a little different (and don’t get me started on the Werewolf mom’s – they need all the support they can get).

Just like articles about being happy and single. I was happy when I was single and remember people who worried about my state of singleness. Now I’m married and happy. But I have friends who are single and happy and I’m happy for them. Don’t marry some ill suited bore or someone you don’t connect with because society says you have to be married. Screw society. I’m happy for you – so you be happy for you too!

Nobody should ever give in to the pressures of society to be something they ARE NOT.


Don’t have kids because your mother-in-law demands a grandchild. Don’t have children because your friends are pressuring you. Don’t have them because you think he’ll stay with you (the worst reason of all). Have children because you want to be a parent (with all the good and bad that involves). If you don’t want them – don’t have them and don’t let anyone pressure you into it.

  • Not everyone wants to have kids or should have kids
  • Not everyone wants to be married.
  • Not everyone wants to be single.
  • Not everyone wants to do what everyone else is doing.

I have the attention span of a gnat (ask my husband and close friends) but I will always try to see differing opinions and know that ALL FAMILIES ARE DIFFERENT.

When my children were small and starting school that was something I told them over and over and over. ALL FAMILIES ARE DIFFERENT.

A family can be people related to each other. It can be a mom and a dad and a child, it can be two moms or two dads, it can be a group of single friends with no children, it can be grandparents living with their children and grandchildren and aunts and uncles. It can be anything you want it to be. Family is a group of people who love each other and care for each other. It can be a group of two or a group of twenty. It’s your family. We’re all different.

Let’s say it again…all together…ALL FAMILIES ARE DIFFERENT. As long as there is love and caring and joy it’s all good and reason to celebrate.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

New Vampires need to be trained…but not now. The musings of a busy busy busy Vampire Mom

As if I don’t have enough going on…

All of you moms out there will know exactly why I’m venting.

I was just informed that we’ll be having guests in three weeks. Until then we have a birthday, regional championships for the kids sports events, summer camp pick up and delivery, costumes for the ball and I’m going to be working.

My darling husband Teddy, as you know, used to be a regular human but is now, no fault of his own, a vampire.

The fact that he became a vampire pissed him off to no end, but over the years he has accepted it and become THE Vampire. He is involved in all things vampire in our vampire community.

One of his areas of expertise is training and settling-in of new vampires. So of course, he says “Sure, we’d love to have them!” when a young couple, new to the vampire world, needs to see how normal modern vampires live.

I’d love to do this but not right NOW. Not this exceptionally busy summer. Training new vampires is a lot of work as you all well know.

This is a young couple who had the misfortune of being run off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean, only to be rescued by our friend Al. The old vampire took pity on the young couple who were on their last battered breath and turned them. Come on Al – it was their time – it was not time to be romantic.

Then of course Teddy was called in to pick up the pieces, the shock and horror of the nice young couple. I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with being a vampire, but I’ve been one all my life. But in all honesty, I can’t even imagine one minute having your car fly off of a cliff and the next minute waking up as a different species. Both the emotional toll and physical toll can and will kill most vampire converts within a few weeks.

Oh well. Wish us luck. It will be fun. I’ll talk myself into it. Thank goodness I have such great kids who are pretty much willing to be cool and roll with anything. And at least Teddy can teach them all about vampire cocktails.

~ Juliette

On another note…sometimes I feature poetry on my blog (as well as blogs and works by other creatives). I’m not really a poet but I feel it is important.