Where is Juliette? Where is the Burning Question today?????
I’ve been so busy with my kids (my ADULT kids) and moving, and traveling, and taking friends to the art museum, and Vampire stuff that… well, there is no Burning Question.
Happy Cat-ur-day!
And don’t forget your hat. By the way if you forget your hat make a music video. It’s ok. You have my permission.
Now go hug your cat, hug your kids, hug everyone else, and dance! Take the chance.
xoxox
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
I’ve posted a lot of amazing and astounding photos of space on my blog so get ready for more… brace yourself…
Scientists were surprised when Rosetta found parking was scarce on the Comet 67p. BUT the one who was really surprised was GIANT SPACE CAT.
As so-called creatures of the night Vampires have always loved comets.
A few years back I’d go out in front of my house every single night and watch Hale Bopp. Unfortunately a nut job cult hijacked the even… a lot of weird sick things like that were happening around that time. But anyway it was beautiful and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it.
This isn’t my house but it is Hale Bopp. I don’t live anywhere near this place.
Over the centuries some cultures have feared comets but there isn’t anything to fear (aside from giant space cats.)
Mark Twain was born and died in years of Halley’s Comet. So did Nigel the ghost. I didn’t even see it in 1986 except for a faint faint faint little blip in the sky and I’m still not sure if I really saw it. But the idea of it was so magical and wonderful.
My post is more random than the sightings of comets so just stick with me.
I’m amazed that the landing of Rosetta on a COMET – a REAL COMET – wasn’t bigger news. That is so amazing. We’re just sort of sitting out here on our own in space. Nobody visits. We’re all alone and we can’t leave. We think about it. We write books and make movies about it.
We make a lot of movies and books about it – a lot is simply brilliant and inspires us to look beyond our own planet. Unfortunately most is really bad.
Really? Sin in Space?
Even Gorn will have to agree with me on that.
My name is Gorn and I always agree with Juliette.
That said, one of the most brilliant examples of Vampires in Space – the ultimate is Amish Vampires in Space. I kid you not.
This is so AWESOME
Anyway, I’m just using this as an excuse to share the GIANT SPACE CAT and some other silly stuff with you. Have fun and keep looking to the stars.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Saturday is HERE again!
I’m happy to announce a new question series and the opportunity for YOU to answer new polls about interesting and mysterious mysteries.
For the first one, since this is last minute, and because of a recent weird story about Area 51, and the fact that we’ve really messed things up here on planet earth, is about life in other parts of the universe.
This first one is rough (aren’t they all) but stay with me.
And YES there will be CATS and VAMPIRES too.
Is anybody out there? Ask Joe Elliot. I bet he knows. Hey, if I was an alien from another planet I’d come the extra light years to see Def Leppard live.
But back to the real story…
Straight from the headlines today: 640K people want to raid Area 51 to ‘see them aliens’
Apparently a Facebook group has organized this event to take place, and of course it is a fake, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if it was real. People are weird. People are stupid. Do you REALLY think the government would keep space aliens and their ships in a place everyone knows about.
Silly stuff aside, do you think we’re alone in the universe?
My last post mentioned Star Trek and Star Wars. For centuries humans have imagined traveling to the stars and finding life on other planets. It is in our DNA. I’ve even written several science fiction stories for the WPaD publications.
The idea of life on other planets inspires art. You have to love the pulp science fiction art or something is seriously wrong with you.
The thought of other life in the universe also inspires hope.
When Galileo Galilei said the Earth was not the center of the universe, but revolved around the sun there was an uproar of the highest order. In 1632 the Pope was offended by such radical views. Galileo was threatened, the safety of his beloved children was threatened and he was put under house arrest. This was tragic. Unfortunately this kind of crap is still going on.
The middle finger from Galileo’s right hand, is currently on exhibition at the Museo Galileo in Florence, Italy. No doubt that is a sly way to say “F you” to everyone who doubted him and caused him so much harm.
Galileo’s eldest daughter Virginia changed her name to Marie Celeste when she became a nun. Celeste means heavenly, or look up in the sky and gaze upon the beauty of the stars.
By the way, I will be covering the mystery of the Mary Celeste in a later post.
Here on Vampiremaman.com I’ve followed in the steps of both Galileo and Carl Sagan by covering important stories about life on other planets.
When the Voyager, with the golden disc detailing human life left our solar system it was a huge deal. Now anyone or anything can find it and know who we are, and where we are. Of course the fact that Chuck Berry is on it is a sure fire way to get folks to our planet. Roll over Beethoven and send me to the planet Earth!
One morning a few years ago I heard on the news that there is no methane on Mars.
“No farts,” said my son.
“No boys on Mars.” said my daughter.
“What no cats?” I said that, knowing it wasn’t true. There have to be cats on Mars. We have proof from The Opportunity Rover on Mars!
You can also count on the fact that there are Vampires on Mars as well.
And speaking of mysteries on Mars and Earth. Another one has just been solved.
Mystery Solved!
I’d hate to think that we are alone in the universe. I find that thought extremely sad.
We’ve been to the moon. We’ve sent small probes like the Voyager outside of our solar system.
Many people claim that we’ve had visitors from other planets. Some even think that we originally came from another planet (I don’t think so. We’re so messed up and weird that I don’t think we would have come from somewhere else unless we were booted out for being assholes.)
Yes, as odd as we are, there is goodness here. There is beauty. There is Yosemite. Come visit us alien folks. I’ll smoke some ribs and put the beer on ice. Like Fox Moller, I want to believe.
She blinded me with science
So ANSWER THE POLL and leave comments below. Let’s talk about this. Help solve this mystery.
Come back next week for another Mysterious Mystery Question. Happy Caturday!
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Back when my daughter (who turns 20 next month) was in Middle School she would change the screen image on my phone every chance she got. I’d have a lovely photo of one of my cats or something else nice and calming.
Then I’d pick up my phone and see a photo of a HUGE naked man. I’m talking 500+ pounds in a birthday suit.
This went on for about a month.
Fast forward.
Now she sends my best buddy Amelia (the famous Las Vegas Vampire) snap chat photos of me as a man.
Amelia, due to beautiful blue eyes, high cheek bones and general nice bones looks like Fabio or some other gorgeous male model when she gets the male filter.
I, on the other hand, look like the scruffy guy always asks if there is any beer left and goes out in pubic in pajama pants and a tee shirt that isn’t quite long enough to cover his belly. Thank you SnapChat filters.
That’s all. I’m on vacation with spotty Internet access, but just wanted to share this delightful little parenting story.
I love my child. I’m glad she has a sense of humor. I love my friend. I’m glad she has a sense of humor.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Since I’m on vacation…and it is summer I’m going to repost my popular summer reading list. This was first posted in 2012. I left off so many but this IS a great list. Enjoy your summer and I’ll be back with new postings in a few days. ~ Juliette.
I am always reading a book- usually fiction and on the average of 2-5 books a month. That said, in the summer I savor my books during trips, on the back deck while the sun goes down or at night with the porch light on. There is always a book in my purse or in my car. I am never without a book.
Here is my list – The Official Vampire Maman Summer Reading List.
Note: This is a list for grown ups or very mature teens.
I have read every book on this list – more than once.
These are my favorite books to read and enjoy. I hope you enjoy too. I have a long list of books I haven’t read yet but hope to get this summer. That will be a different blog posting.
Sources:
Boys Life by Robert R. McCammon
“Zephyr, Alabama, is an idyllic hometown for eleven-year-old Cory Mackenson — a place where monsters swim the river deep and friends are forever. Then, one cold spring morning, Cory and his father witness a car plunge into a lake — and a desperate rescue attempt brings his father face-to-face with a terrible vision of death that will haunt him forever.”
OK enough of the book review stuff – this book is laugh out loud, pee your pants FUNNY and touching and just about the most perfect book I’ve ever read (and I read a lot of books)
The Wolf’s Hour by Robert R. McCammon
One of the most wonderful and amazing books I’ve ever read. It is about a Russian werewolf, living in England who hunts Nazi’s during WW2. It is in my top 5 favorite books of all time. The characters are true to life and believable. On the eve of D-Day, a British secret agent with unique powers goes behind Nazi lines Michael Gallatin is a British spy with a peculiar talent: the ability to transform himself into a wolf. Although his work in North Africa helped the Allies win the continent in the early days of World War II, he quit the service when a German spy shot his lover in her bed. Now, three years later, the army asks him to end his retirement and parachute into occupied Paris. A mysterious German plan called the Iron Fist threatens the D-Day invasion, and the Nazi in charge is the spy who betrayed Michael’s lover. The werewolf goes to France for king and country, hoping for a chance at bloody vengeance.
The Garden of Beasts – A Novel of Berlin 1936 by Jeffery Deaver
If this book doesn’t move you then your heart and brain are made of stone. This is one of those rare gems, a book by Jeffery Deaver that most readers don’t know exist.
“Paul Schumann, a German American living in New York City in 1936, is a mobster hitman known as much for his brilliant tactics as for taking only “righteous” assignments. But then Paul gets caught. And the arresting officer offers him a stark choice: prison or covert government service. Paul is asked to pose as a journalist covering the summer Olympics taking place in Berlin. He’s to hunt down and kill Reinhard Ernst — the ruthless architect of Hitler’s clandestine rearmament. If successful, Paul will be pardoned and given the financial means to go legit; if he refuses the job, his fate will be Sing Sing and the electric chair.
Paul travels to Germany, takes a room in a boardinghouse near the Tiergarten — the huge park in central Berlin but also, literally, the Garden of Beasts — and begins his hunt. In classic Deaver fashion, the next forty-eight hours are a feverish cat-and-mouse chase, as Paul stalks Ernst through Berlin while a dogged Berlin police officer and the entire Third Reich apparatus search frantically for the American.
Garden of Beasts is packed with fascinating period detail and features a cast of perfectly realized locals, Olympic athletes and senior Nazi officials — some real, some fictional. With hairpin plot twists, the reigning “master of ticking-bomb suspense” (People) plumbs the nerve-jangling paranoia of prewar Berlin and steers the story to a breathtaking and wholly unpredictable ending.”
The Bone Garden by Tess Gerritsen
Nobody can tell a story like Tess Gerritsen. Of course the descriptions don’t do it justice. The switch between the past and present and relationships of the characters make it a truly wonderful summer escape.
Present day: Julia Hamill has made a horrifying discovery on the grounds of her new home in rural Massachusetts: a skull buried in the rocky soil–human, female, and, according to the trained eye of Boston medical examiner, scarred with the unmistakable marks of murder. But whoever this nameless woman was, and whatever befell her, is knowledge lost to another time. . . .
Boston, 1830: In order to pay for his education, Norris Marshall, a talented but penniless student at Boston Medical College, has joined the ranks of local “resurrectionists”–those who plunder graveyards and harvest the dead for sale on the black market. Yet even this ghoulish commerce pales beside the shocking murder of a nurse found mutilated on the university hospital grounds. And when a distinguished doctor meets the same grisly fate, Norris finds that trafficking in the illicit cadaver trade has made him a prime suspect.
To prove his innocence, Norris must track down the only witness to have glimpsed the killer: Rose Connolly, a beautiful seamstress from the Boston slums who fears she may be the next victim. Joined by a sardonic, keenly intelligent young man named Oliver Wendell Holmes, Norris and Rose comb the city–from its grim cemeteries and autopsy suites to its glittering mansions and centers of Brahmin power–on the trail of a maniacal fiend who lurks where least expected . . . and who waits for his next lethal opportunity.
With unflagging suspense and pitch-perfect period detail, The Bone Garden deftly interweaves the thrilling narratives of its nineteenth- and twenty-first century protagonists, tracing the dark mystery at its heart across time and place to a finale as ingeniously conceived as it is shocking. Bold, bloody, and brilliant, this is Tess Gerritsen’s finest achievement to date.
A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick
Forget shades of gray, black, white or whatever. This is the book to read for hot summer erotic weirdness. And this is extremely well written.
He placed a notice in a Chicago paper, an advertisement for “a reliable wife.” She responded, saying that she was “a simple, honest woman.” She was, of course, anything but honest, and the only simple thing about her was her single-minded determination to marry this man and then kill him, slowly and carefully, leaving her a wealthy widow, able to take care of the one she truly loved.
What Catherine Land did not realize was that the enigmatic and lonely Ralph Truitt had a plan of his own. And what neither anticipated was that they would fall so completely in love.
Filled with unforgettable characters, and shimmering with color and atmosphere, A Reliable Wife is an enthralling tale of love and madness, of longing and murder.
We Took to The Woods by Louise Dickinson Rich (1942)
I can’t count how many copies of this book I’ve found and used book stores and given to friends. I love this book.
In her early thirties, Louise Dickinson Rich took to the woods of Maine with her husband. They found their livelihood and raised a family in the remote backcountry settlement of Middle Dam, in the Rangeley area. Rich made time after morning chores to write about their lives. We Took to the Woods is an adventure story, written with humor, but it also portrays a cherished dream awakened into full life. First published 1942.
A Walk in the Woods – Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book I enjoyed more – or laughed more or learned more by reading it. A MUST read for everyone.
Bill Bryson, whose previous travelogues The Lost Continent, Neither Here Nor There, and Notes from a Small Island have garnered the author quite a following, now returns to his native United States after more than two decades of living abroad. In order to rediscover America by, as he puts it, “going out into an America that most people scarcely know is there,” he set out to walk, in the company of Stephen Katz, his college roommate and sometime nemesis, the length of the Appalachian Trail. His account of that adventure is at once hilarious, inspiring, and even educational.
Shadow of the Moon M. M. Kaye
The ultimate in historic romance and exotic adventure. Born in India and orphaned at an early age, Winter is brought up in England but is always longing for the land of her birth. The opportunity to return home to India presents itself when she is betrothed at a tender age to the debauched Conway Barton, the grasping Commissioner of Lunjore, who is many years her senior. Captain Randall, who is sent by the Commissioner to escort his betrothed to India, is loathe to do so, knowing the Commissioner to be no fit husband for a seventeen year old girl, Moreover, Captain Randall is keenly sensitive to the potentially dangerous feelings of unrest that seem to be sweeping India, as its native population begins to chafe under the insensitive rule of its colonial masters.
The Crystal Cave by Mary Stewart (1970)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Crystal_Cave
The story of Merlin of the Arthurian legend. This is followed by The Hollow Hills and The Last Enchantment. Well written and magical the story brings Merlin to life in a way no other book has done. I read this so many times my paperback copy fell apart.
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King (2000)
My favorite Stephen King novel.
On a six-mile hike on the Maine-New Hampshire branch of the Appalachian Trail, nine-year-old Trisha McFarland quickly tires of the constant bickering between her older brother, Pete, and her recently divorced mother. But when she wanders off by herself, and then tries to catch up by attempting a shortcut, she becomes lost in a wilderness maze full of peril and terror.
Charm School by Neilson DeMille (1999)
Charm School is a chilling cold war classic. On a dark road deep inside Russia, a young American tourist picks up a most unusual passenger a U.S. POW on the run with an incredible secret to reveal to an unsuspecting world.
I love the work of Neilson DeMille. He is one of my top 5 favorites. The last book was a little lame but everything previous to that is sheer brilliance. Charm School and Gold Coast are both must read classics of American books.
Foul Matter by Martha Grimes
This book is so much fun and so brilliant you’ll never forget it. The audio version is a must listen and perfect if you have a long road trip.
From Publishers Weekly: Red pencils draw real blood in this delightful publishing world crime spoof by Grimes, expert storyteller and bestselling author of the Richard Jury mysteries (The Man with a Load of Mischief, etc.). When Paul Giverney, a hot suspense novelist, seeks a new publisher, he decides on the house of Mackensie-Haack under the condition that they dump their highly respected and award-winning author, Ned Isaly. Ruthless president Bobby Mackensie will stop at nothing to sign Giverney, even though breaking Isaly’s contract is a legal impossibility. His solution? Sign another contract-this one with two hit men, who are hired to knock off Isaly. What Mackensie doesn’t know is that Candy and Karl are killers with scruples and a keen interest in literature.
Testament by John Grisham
This is the first book that ever made me cry.
Troy Phelan, an eccentric elderly billionaire, commits suicide minutes after leaving his vast fortune to an illegitimate daughter, Rachel Lane, instead of his six children by three marriages. His reason is revulsion over years of fighting with, and embarrassment from, his family, as well as their greed — much of which was due to his neglect of his children and multiple affairs (both personal and business).
His lawyers are now tasked with protecting Troy’s wishes as well as finding the heiress. Nate O’Riley, a high-powered litigation lawyer and now recovering alcoholic, is sent to Brazil, where Rachel is believed to be living as a missionary.
While Nate is trying to find Rachel, Troy’s family does everything in their power to contest the new will.
The Last Juror by John Grisham
This is the second book that ever made me cry.
The story is set in the fictional town of Clanton, Mississippi from 1970 to 1979. Clanton is also the venue for John Grisham’s first novel A Time To Kill which was published in 1989. Some of the characters appear in both novels with the same occupation and characteristics. Although A Time to Kill was published 15 years before The Last Juror, it took place in 1985 (on the first page of Chapter 3, it notes the date as Wednesday, May 15), which is a year after Grisham formed the idea for A Time to Kill, his first novel, and began writing it. Therefore the characters who appear in both novels, such as Lucien Wilbanks and Harry Rex Vonner, have matured in A Time to Kill. Harry Rex Vonner also appears in the novel The Summons, published in 2002, as an adviser of the protagonist Ray Atlee.
Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
I love these books. My copies are ancient and falling apart. A must read about friendship and learning more about one’s true self.
Screw the movies – read the books – nuff said.
The Poe Shadow by Matthew Pearl (2006)
This books makes you feel like you’re traveling back into time. The first encounter with this book was the wonderful audio version. I couldn’t stop listening! I’ve since read it too. I love this book. It is soooo Victorian!
Dracula by Bram Stoker (1887)
I love this book because it has such wonderful character development. If you’re going to read ONE vampire book – this is the one to read. Written as diary entries and letters it is a quick and fun read. Of course it is FICTION. Remember folks – it is FICTION.
The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (1868)
It was good when it first came out and still will capture your attention until the very end.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moonstone
Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley (2009)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sweetness_at_the_Bottom_of_the_Pie
Another laugh out loud book that will make you wish your were an 11 year old girl with the love of chemistry and poisons!
My Favorite Series (look them up)
Read both from the start – as the characters grow and age and mature into something akin to the book equivalent of a fine red wine. Once you get hooked on these…well, you’ll be hooked and you’ll thank me.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
S
Saturday is here once more. Due to a busy schedule with wonderful, amazing, lovely old friends, and a busy weekend looming I’m reposting a story about our favorite Vampire Hunter, Austin Durant.
I could post for Cat-Ur-Day but I can’t find my cats. So without any more silly explanations…
Austin Durant was spending Saturday morning with a pot of coffee and a folder full of research materials. His mind was on the article he was writing, but also on the end of the school year, his latest landscaping project, and his girlfriend Elizabeth.
He stopped at the sound of the doorbell, then sent to answer. He hoped it wasn’t anyone trying to sell him anything. Two large men, dressed in black, stood at his front door. No clipboards.
Austin looked them up and down. “I’m going to assume you’re not from the Sanders campaign,” he said.
The men pushed their way through the door. Austin backed away.
“I don’t know why you guys even bothered to knock. Can I get you anything?” Now more than anytime he wished his old German Shepard Dogs Lucy and Mina were still alive. They would have ripped these guys to shreds, or at least barked a lot. After three years he still couldn’t bring himself to get another dog. But this wasn’t the time to reminisce about lost loves – he had Vampires in his house.
Who would have thought that Vampires would be at his front door at 2:37 on a Saturday afternoon in May? Sure, alright, he was a part-time, sometimes Vampire Hunter, but not on Saturday afternoon. The plan was to do a little work on an article about the California art colonies in the 1880’s, then do a little yard work, then go over to his sister’s house to eat tacos and watch Dead Pool. Such is the life of a single History Professor slash Vampire Hunter.
“You know guys, this is a bad time for me. Why don’t you come back later, say in about a hundred years.”
The Vampires stepped forward baring their long sharp fangs. Austin started to calculate in his mind how to distract them so he could get his sword. Then the doorbell rang.
Austin put his hand up. “Excuse me for a minute guys.”
The Vampires stepped back and withdrew their fangs.
At the door stood Austin’s fifteen year old neighbor Ryan. A tabby cat with white paws stood next to him.
“Hey, Ryan. What’s up?”
“I, um, forgot my key to my house. My mom said you had a copy.”
“Sure, wait a second.” Austin looked at the Vampires. “Don’t even think about it.”
He got the key from the kitchen drawer and brought it back to Ryan. The boy thanked him then looked inside the door.
“Seriously dude, you have some creepy friends.”
“They’re not my friends,” said Austin. “Just some guys dropping off some stuff for a research project.”
“Uh, thanks for the keys.”
Ryan and the cat left and Austin turned his attention back to the Vampires. “OK guys, time to go. I have things to do, places to go, tacos to eat, and if you don’t get the hell out of my house I’ll add Vampires to kill to my list. Got it?”
The Vampires showed their fang again. Then the doorbell rang. The Vampires stepped back into the shadows.
Austin opened the door. Dave the mail carrier stood there with a package. “Hey, Austin, I just need a signature.”
“Good, I’ve been waiting for this,” said Austin as he signed the deliver slip. It was a packet of letters from the artist Julian Rix to a woman who would eventually break the artist’s heart. Austin put the letters on the table in his entry way and turned his attention back to the Vampires.
“Sorry about that. I told you this was a bad time,” he said to the Vampires. “What do you guys want? I don’t have all day.”
The two Vampires showed their fangs and stepped towards Austin. “Listen, I don’t want any trouble. I don’t have a problem with you. I don’t even know you. In fact, my girlfriend is a Vampire.”
The Vampires hissed through their fangs, then stopped. There was a soft knock at the door.
Austin stepped back. “Excuse me, somebody is at the door.”
At the door Austin’s neighbor from down the street, a guy named Bob stood with a clip board. “Hi Austin, I have the petition to close the street on the Fourth of July.”
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it. Just let me know what I can do to help.”
“Sure thing,” said Bob. “Feel free to invite your friends.”
Austin looked around to see the Vampires had moved just behind him in the entry way. “Sure thing. Hey guys, you’re invited. Bring your favorite pot luck dish and some sparklers. It will be fun.”
After Bob left, Austin turned his full attention back to the Vampires. “I know you didn’t come here to borrow a cup of sugar. What do you want?”
The Vampires showed their fangs. “No, I’m not going to do this today. You’ve already waited almost an hour of my time. Either I kill you, you kill me, or you leave. What is it?”
The doorbell rang again. “Shit,” whispered Austin. He opened the door. There stood two college students with a clipboard. “Hey, I know you. How’s it going Tiffany?” The girl was in his California history class.
“Dr. Durant. I didn’t know you lived in this neighborhood. We’re here for the mayor’s campaign.”
“Good for you. I encourage everyone to be politically active. I think a few other groups will be out today as well.”
“Cool.”
The kids talked with Austin about politics and school. All the while Austin could sense the Vampires behind him, lurking in the shadows of his living room. He then wished the kids good luck as they went on their way.
He turned back to the Vampires who were now looking at his book shelf and talking quietly to each other.
Austin approached them. “So do you want to do this or not?”
“You have all of Steinbeck’s books, I’m impressed,” said the taller and paler of the two Vampires. “Too bad I have to kill you.”
Then the door bell sounded again. Austin went to the front door. His neighbor Joe who lived behind him was there.
“Hey Austin. I’m fixing the fence so Sammy and Shadow can’t get out. Do you mind if I go into your yard for about a half hour?” Sammy and Shadow were two shaggy dogs of unknown breeds.
“Sure, I’ll help you out. Give me a few minutes. I’ll meet you in the back yard.”
Austin turned to the Vampires. “Guys, we’re going to have to do this later.”
The Vampires looked at him with frustration on their pale faces then slipped out the front door and vanished into the cloudy afternoon.
Well, this is the first time I’ve killed a Vampire with boredom, thought Austin. Then he put on his shoes and work gloves to meet Joe by the fence.
~ end
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
