Musings on Middle School, Empty Nests, Change, and Cryptozoologists

I used to write horror… I mean posts about Middle School. That seems like a long time ago. The mornings with angry mom’s before their coffee kicked in trying to get their kids out of the mini van door without death or dismemberment. There were those with hormonal rages and anger issues – and that was just the parents. The kids were going through puberty too.

After that we all blew through high school with little or no angst. Yes, parents of wee ones, don’t listen to the people who say in their best witches voices, “Just you wait until that child is in high school. You’ll hate them. They’ll hate you. They’ll be sexed up druggies and there is nothing you can do about it.” Seriously, I kid you not, people say things like that to pregnant women and women with babies. Ignore that shit storm of negativity. Ignore it. Don’t eat that poison apple. Don’t be around people like that.

Last week we were in Orange County taking yet another college tour I believe the child have found a home at UCI  (Zot! Zot! Zot!) aka University of California Irvine.

So in a year I will be living in a home without children. They will always been near. We will text. We will talk. We will send funny things over social media. They will call me and come home for holidays and just because. And I will visit them. You’ve read the blog. You know we’re close.

Aside from a childless house, I’m sure you already know, I’m going through other transitions. Major career changes have turned things in a different direction for me and it is perfect timing. So I’m kind of like an octopus with all of my arms going in different directions.

Oh, I have a joke. I made this one up. What do you call a cat who lives underwater? A quadrapuss. 

Now that I’m doing a do over I’ve made a list of ten things I need to do.

Empty Nest Transition List

  1. Change my job title on LinkedIn to Cryptozoologist.
  2. Paint with wild abandon. Note: I didn’t say whether this is my walls or art. This is a burning question and the answer is BOTH.
  3. Start a Vampire blog. Continue blogging about parenting and Vampires and everything else. I really should start a Werewolf blog or maybe help Nigel start his own blog. Yes, Nigel the Ghost. Or maybe not. 
  4. Learn advanced plumbing.
  5. Landscape my back yard.
  6. Make Vlad’s Vampire Diary into a Major Motion Picture.
  7. Win an Oscar.
  8. Write.
  9. Seek out strange new worlds.
  10. Finish. Anything. Just finish. FINISH.

What is on your list? Oh come on, we can be cryptozoologists together. It will be fun, especially if you become a Vampire too (or if you’re already one.)

My brain is empty. I’ll see you next time for Burning Question #23.

xoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Vlad and Gillian Make a Movie

And while we’re here… Can you believe the guys in Journey really dressed like this. Cryptozoology.

journey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alternate Routes

My kids love to laugh about my driving, or at least the many times we’ve taken the scenic route due to wrong turns and missed turns and complete turn arounds.

Years ago I was traveling across England by myself. I was going from I believe Banbury to Bath. When I stopped at my connection I had no idea which train to get on. None of the signs said Bath. None of the signs looked like any English I’d ever seen. So I asked a man in  the window, the ticket man, where I should go. He asked me to repeat myself. I just assumed he couldn’t understand my American accent. Then I asked him to repeat his directions to me three times. I couldn’t understand a word he said. The accent was local but I wasn’t even sure where local was. The connection name sounded long and I was going to Bath, which is short. So I took my chances on a train that was going to a town with a 34 letter name (or so it seemed.) The only other people on the train was a happy group of Italians who spoke no English at all. At the time I only knew a few words in Italian. What I did get from them was that they were not sure where they were going either. I could have ended up anywhere. At that point it didn’t seem to even matter. It was a happy ride despite the bitter January cold. The train finally stopped, in Bath.

I think of all the wrong turns I’ve taken in my life. Some have been scary, some frustrating, some filled with wonderful surprises.

I wanted to be an actress, a writer of children’s books, a clothing designer, an illustrator of Gothic fantasy, a stand up comic, a writer of best selling novels and so many other things, but ended up taking wrong turns.

Then again, I write an odd Vampire blog, my short stories have a following, I’m an illustrator, an artist, a lover, a wife, a mom, and someone who is about to yell at the cat for sticking his fuzzy face in my coffee.

The detours, be it to a giant hole in the ground, a park, an unexpected view or a new friend are worth those wrong turns. Maybe not so much wrong turns as alternate routes.

The destinations in life are great, but I do love the journey, even if i don’t know where I’m going most of the time. I’m a good traveler on this road of life.

Join me. It will be fun and I always like the company.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/wrong-turns/

So Far From Home

When asked how far have I been away from home the question seems odd. I’ve been around and around for so long and even though I live in my hometown (again) I’m still in a way far far from home.

We think of home as where we grew up, but even if you live there still, is it still the same place? Are you even the same person.

This odd little blog is from a different point of view – that of a mom who is also a 153 year old Vampire with two teenage kids and a husband. We’ve been around and had our adventures almost like time travelers who can only go forward and never back. The world of the 1860’s that I lived in as a child is not the world of today. Yes, some of the buildings still stand but people and landscapes have changed. The place my children were born is the same place on the map where I was born, but it isn’t the same place. Maybe on a map, but even the maps have changed.

I want my own children to travel far and wide. It won’t be the same journeys that I went on. It won’t be the same as their father. Even for regular human parents, their children will also have a far different journey than they had. Even 30 years makes a world of difference. Places that were safe to travel to in the 1990’s are unsafe for anyone today (be it regular human, Vampire or even for Werewolves.)

Yet, despite the dangers we all hope our children will travel far – as far as they can go, and return home safely, even if home looks different. For home is where the heart is, or at least we all hope that is the case.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Sacramento back then

Sacramento back then

Sacramento now

Sacramento now

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Other thoughts on traveling far from home:

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/daily-prompt-distance/

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Kathmandu

Kathmandu