Yes Virginia – Santa is a Vampire

All Animals Love Santa

All Animals Love Santa


December is FINALLY here! Time for glorious trees, holiday cheer, jingle bells, stories of old, Santa Clause, AND VAMPIRES!

So you know what that means…

Winter is here with enough bite to freeze the slow beating heart of almost any Vampire.

My mom used to say to us “Don’t stop your heart or your blood will freeze.”

It is one of those things we have to think about, sometimes. I don’t recall ever telling my own children that, or any other “new” Vampires.

Funny how one thinks of those sayings.

The first bat of the night is a wish. The next is a kiss.

Bad blood is only in the soul.

Dance from dusk to dawn then sleep as if there is no sun.

As a mother (in the 1850’s and 60’s) with a rather large brood of young Vampires (four boys and one girl) my mom took advantage of the holidays in a big way. It was her time to celebrate and bring out the cheer. She was glad to get rid of the musty old gloom of the old days and embrace the Modern Vampire movement.

At the same time a young artist named Thomas Nast created the iconic image of the American Santa Clause. Old Saint Nick was pretty awesome, but Santa was one of our own.

Jolly Old Vampire

Jolly Old Vampire

Yes, Santa Clause is a Vampire – that is a fact:

  1. He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you are awake.
  2. He only comes out at night.
  3. Nobody ever sees him.
  4. He has been around for centuries.
  5. He can see in the dark.
  6. Red is his favorite color.
  7. He is jolly (hey, Vampires are jolly).
  8. He likes kids.
  9. He is an icon of popular culture.
  10. He knows who has been good and who has been bad.
  11. Despite his size he can get in and out of any building.
  12. He can make animals that normally live on the ground fly.
  13. Dogs and cats like him (all animals like Vampires because we understand them.)
  14. He makes people happy (don’t argue this point. Check my previous posts.)
  15. He rocks the red suit!

An interesting fact that all teens should know (and their parents): Thomas Nast was only 19 when he started to create illustrations for Harper’s Weekly. Let that sink in. He was only 19.  Let that inspire you.

Plus Thomas Nast rocked the facial hair.

Thomas Nast rocking the facial hair

Thomas Nast rocking the facial hair

So if you see that jolly old elf this Christmas season shake his hand and know that it isn’t the weather that is making that hand cold.


Happy Holidays,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Oh You’d Better Not Shout…

Oh you better not shout,

You better not cry,

You better not pout,

I’m telling you why…

ugly santa

Vampires are coming to town…

We (Vampires) try to be civilized creatures most of the time, especially during the holidays. There is nothing worse than someone at a black tie event being rude, crass or a bore. Refinement is the name of the game.

So good behavior is a number one priority. We know when you are sleeping, we know when you’re awake, we know when you’ve been bad or good…

ugly santa with tree

Things that go bump in the night are not limited to small children and Halloween. So watch your manners and your morals.

Your biggest fear shouldn’t be the Vampires who come and visit you at night.

With any luck THAT could be your biggest pleasure (believe me on that one.)

So get out the mistletoe and a kiss. And maybe a bite.

But only if you’re good.

For we all know Santa is a Vampire…

And maybe even a few other folks you might know.

santa spider

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman