We’re going to talk about MOM stuff today. You know, motherhood, children, babies, and all that kind of, dare I say, Mommy Blogger stuff.
Babies and Toddlers
First let’s all go way back to when our kids were babies. Some of you might even have babies, or will have babies in the future.
I saw a Pampers Diaper commercial recently that absolutely horrified me. Yes, and you’re right – not much horrifies a Vampire…but this did.
A small boy child toddler type is running in a full droopy diaper. Gross.
Then it shows a baby running in a Pampers Diaper. He isn’t all droopy butted. Yes his diaper is full of urine but he is happy. Gross and happy.
Alright, all of you moms out there, raise your hand if you would let your child walk around with half a gallon of pee in his pants because you know he was feeling dry and not drooping.
I want a diaper that keeps a child dry and does not leak. I don’t want to keep my child in that disgusting full diaper while the child happily plays – as the advertisement suggests.
I can’t even imagine leaving any child of mine in a diaper with pee, or heaven forbid, poop in it.
Dear Pampers Marketing Department,
A baby with a diaper full of pee is not cute. You are disgusting.
~ Juliette Kings aka Vampire Maman (parenting expert and internationally known parenting blogger)
Score: Pampers -10 for that one.
Nothing says GROW UP like being a PARENT
For parents of Middle School kids and Teens, please remember that YOUR bad behavior influences your kids. They see what you do and who you spend your time with, and I think you know where this is going.
I spent a lot of my youth in a total disaster zone, well not completely, but I made some bad choices. I am no longer making those choices. I am a parent. I am an adult. I have children.
Having a child, no matter your age, you financial circumstances, you education, or your paranormal affiliation, makes you an adult. If you have a child you are an adult, so act like one.
I don’t need to explain the party till you drop behavior, or hanging out with your stoner friends that go way back to high school, or being stupid, or bringing home man after man, or marrying some girl young enough to be your daughter, or doing all sorts of stupid selfish things. If you have children they come first. That is what adults do. Period.
It is your job to teach your children to be responsible adults one day. It is your responsibility to make sure you children are more successful and better adjusted than you ever were. It is your responsibility to make sure your children don’t make half the mistakes you do. Sure they’ll make mistakes, but don’t teach then by example how to do it. For God’s sake be a good example.
Score: Adults 10, Acting Like Kids -10
Helicopters Do Not Belong Around Your Kids. They’ll Get Caught in The Blades.
I’m joined to the hip with my kids. We’re close. We’re scary close. BUT I am the parent. And like I’ve said, my job is to prepare my children for adulthood. That does not mean calling the school all the time and micromanaging my high school and college aged children. They need to learn to work out problems on their own.
Parenting is like war. You only bring out the big guns when things are serious. Otherwise be peaceful. Let your kids learn how to figure out their problems.
Your job is to talk to them and help them figure it out. Don’t always just throw advice out – spend time listening to them. Then give them the tools THEY need to take care of the problems. Your job is to drive them to the hospital if they get hurt. Your job is to give out hugs. Your job is to teach them to be adults and solve their own problems.
Yes, if there is a major problem like horrible bullies, sexual predators, violence, bigotry, and other vile matters, by all means be the total wolf mother and step in. But for the everyday crap, stand back and let your kid handle it. Be there for back-up. Be the pit crew. Be the coach.
And whatever you do, don’t be that parent who stands up at school meetings and asks questions just to show everyone how brilliant YOU think YOUR CHILD is. It is so unflattering and does a disservice to your child.
And never go up to the high school office and yell about stupid small stuff because every single teacher and kid in the school will hear about it.
Remember, none of us exists at the center of the universe, especially you and your child.
Score: Rational Parents 10, Helicopter Parents 3.5
In the meantime teach your kids not to be an old judgmental, grumpy, obnoxious, and worked up Vampires like me.
I’m working as a polling clerk in tomorrow’s election so I’ll be back on Wednesday. If you’re in a voting state on June 7 make sure you vote (and vote often HA HA HA). But seriously vote, and the nice people at your polling place will give you a sticker. I bet they’ll give your kid a sticker too.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman