Throwing It ALL Away – Teens and Consequences

Parenting 101

I consider myself a serious parenting blogger, because I believe parenting is the most important job you can ever do.

So please let me rant a bit…

Parents PLEASE take the time and talk to your children, the younger the better, about consequences of their actions. Tell them: Something stupid you do NOW can have consequences that will last your entire life. It can RUIN your life.

As soon as we started the whole elementary school adventure we realized that it is never too early to screw up the next 5, 10, 20 years – or even screw up an entire life based on bad and impulsive choices.

I often wonder why parents don’t talk to their kids about life, consequences, and taking personal responsibility for their actions. And it is like training a dog. You have to start early. Seriously.

You might be asking, What brings this on Juliette? 

Yesterday I was told about a seriously icky event at the High School. One of the boys in my daughters AP English class (these kids are all seniors) was talking about how he had to get a new car because someone had crapped in his car.

The boy accidentally left a couple of the windows in his car cracked. He parked it in the school lot. While he was at sports practice that afternoon someone (it was assumed two individuals) broke into his car and pooped on the seats. Then the poppers spread the shit ALL OVER ALL of the seats. The poor kids could smell it as he approached the car. He said if it had just been a bag of poop it wouldn’t have been that bad but it was spread all over the car. A tow truck had to be called to haul the car away because there was no way he was going to drive the car home. His parents said they were going to have to get a new car because the cloth seats couldn’t be cleaned. It was an old car, used by every kid in the family already. But still, this should not have happened. The poor kid wonders who could have hated him so much to do such an awful thing. What kind of sick mind would do this? It could have been someone he knew. It could have been someone from another school. It could have been some sick fucks walking by and seeing the open windows.

Here is where my advice to parents comes in:

If the persons who pooped in the car are caught there will be consequences. They will be caught because every kid in the school now knows about the shit-and-run event. Security cameras recorded it. They can see who it was, their car if it was involved, or what building they came out of.

If it was students there will be consequences that will screw up their entire future. If it is a senior he will not graduate (or will not be allowed to walk on graduation day), if it was a younger student he will be expelled and made to go to a continuation school. There might be criminal charges. If the perpetrator is 18 he will be charged as an adult. Even a 17-year-old might be charged as an adult. If caught these kids can kiss all of their college applications good-bye. They’ll be kicked out of a good school, and maybe have a criminal record. Not to mention that NO GIRL will ever want to date these guys – and the list goes on. Did I mention lawsuits and damage charges?

One disgusting event, that was no doubt spur of the moment, and done on an impulse will ruin the lives of these kids if they are caught.

Was it worth it? Hell no.

That is just one example. Teens and young adults are impulsive. It is how their brains work. But they can control those impulses. You NEED to talk to them about it.

It all comes down to what parents always tell their kids. If your friend jumps off a bridge that doesn’t mean that YOU have to jump off of the bridge too.

Kids need to know that they don’t have to jump off of that bridge. They can say NO. If the friend gets pissy then it isn’t a friend they want to have.

At our high school parents and students are told over and over and over, that if they pull pranks they will not graduate. This includes the famous senior pranks that usually include creative ways of vandalizing the school (oiled hallways, interesting pain, pictures of body parts burned into the grass on the Quad, etc.)

If you act like an asshole, if you hurt others, if you blindly follow, if you do things out of spite,  if you DON’T THINK before you act – there will be consequences.

Need help? Here is a list of stupid things teens can and will do.

Unprotected sex: A baby will change the life of any teen. So long college. So long friends. So long exploring the world before you choose if and when you’ll have a child. Don’t give me some happy story of a teen who had a baby and the fairy tale that ensued. That is the rare exception, not the rule. Unprotected sex can also welcome HIV and other nasty things to your child’s life.

Making decisions based on friends: How many kids have rejected once in a lifetime college, trade show, job, internship, and other opportunities because a boyfriend or girlfriend begged them not to go. How many have turned down fantastic opportunities because they did not want to leave their friends. You know what? Those friends are going to leave and do what they want and not think twice about it. Or the friends will be losers who don’t care. If they are REAL friends they will encourage your child to fly and be successful. Real friends will keep in touch no matter how far away they live.

Dropping out: Dropping out of school, be it high school, college, a trade school or a great opportunity isn’t anything to be taken lightly. I can’t tell you how many people I know who dropped out of college the second or even third year in – then found out later how hard it is to go back. Usually is isn’t financial reasons – it is because they can’t look into their own futures and see how hard it will be. Just finish. You’re young. Finish now or when you’re thirty-five you’ll be kicking yourself.

Relationships: If it is indeed true love it can wait. If someone loves you they will never ask you to put aside your dreams. Someone who love you will encourage you to follow your dreams. Only selfish, and controlling people will ask you to turn down your school, job, or any endeavor that is your passion.

Cults (religious and political) and other abusive relationships: These are the people who prey on young individuals. They break kids down, then make them feel good and wanted. They look for kids who are lonely. They look for kids who are needy. They want to turn your child against against everything they know. If ANYONE tells your child to turn against their family and friends then it is time to RUN. RUN FAST.

Doing shit out of spite: If you do anything out of spite to get back at parents, teachers, friends, siblings, school – it will only come back and HURT YOU. That is what is usually called coming back and biting you on the ass. I’ve seen people marry someone for spite because they were mad at their parents – believe me THAT never ends well. So impulsive, and the only one hurt is the one who wanted to get revenge.

And most of all CRAPPY FRIENDS: You can help friends but you can never bring someone up who doesn’t want to be brought up. Crap friends will only bring you down. If someone wants to move up they have to want to move up and do it on their own. Some kids are rescuers. Some are followers. I encourage all parents to PLEASE discourage your kids from being rescuers or followers. It will only lead to things like kids shitting in cars. It can also lead to smaller things that can also get them kicked out of school, ostracized by other kids, and even arrested.

Yes, you are the parent – you CAN have control over who your child hangs out with. From an early age you have to teach them about how valuable their reputation is. It takes a second to lose one’s reputation but years to get it back.

One more thing. If your child wants ink as soon as he or she turns eighteen please guide them. Shitty tattoos last forever and remind one of how stupid they were. Good ones, by good artists, with good placement can be a joy. Remember, tattoos, like herpes, are there forever. Be smart (or start saving for a good cover up or laser treatments.)

I’m just ranting right now, but whenever I think of anyone doing stupid mindless and impulsive things that ruin their lives and the lives of others I wonder why they do it.

We’ve all heard of teachers who sleep with students then go to jail and never teach again. Was it worth it to be out of a job. Was it worth it to have years of education go down the drain? Was it worth it to be considered a pervert for the rest of your life?

Then there are the Brock Turners of the world. Turner was obviously smart (click here if you don’t know about the case). He had everything. He was good looking. He was attending Stanford University. He was a swimmer who might have been good enough to make it to the Olympics. But rather than being nice, and normal, he decided to be a violent, vile, and horrible the night he brutally sexually assaulted a girl at a party. One has to wonder if it was worth throwing all of that away to be the biggest asshole in the universe and harm another person?

How many kids would have given ANYTHING to go to Stanford, let alone have the other opportunities Turner had. And he threw it all away, and harmed an innocent person along the way.

What makes it worse is that his parents defended him. There is no defense for that kind of behavior. So was it worth it Brock? Why did you do it? Why where you such an asshole?

So talk to your kids. Tell them all of those cautionary tales of others who have fucked up their lives because of stupid impulsive acts.

That is it. And don’t tell me that it is hard. If I could do it then so can you.

I fucked up enough on my own – but, by my choice, I don’t fuck up when it comes to parenting.

It isn’t easy but you can do it. You’re a parent. That is YOUR JOB.

Now go hug your kids and talk to them. Don’t preach. Discuss. Share. Love.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in our High School? OR POLITICS?

In 2015 I wrote a post about the racist and sexist behavior at school. As parents I hope all of us are raising our sons and daughters that both racist and sexist behavior is not acceptable.

In light of current events in the news I have to bring this up again.

Behavior that is unacceptable in school, the workplace, or our homes should not be acceptable from our politicians or those running for office.

This article isn’t about politics so I WILL remove comments if I have to. It is about society and what kind of people we want to represent us.

We’ve all known that guy who talks sexist talk 24/7. Nobody like to be around him. Nobody thinks it is funny. 99.9% of the time he is a bully. There is something wrong with him. But because he is a bully people let him get away with it. It is sick. It is wrong. It is disgusting. It shows lack of character. It shows someone who is seriously broken.

In the Paranormal world this kind of shit would end with a blood bath – the bully would be gone. Women and the men who love them would be celebrating. Unfortunately not all of my readers live in a paranormal world.

So read my old article. I have to note that as the kids at my daughter’s school mature that most of the sexist and racist behavior goes away. It is sad to think that some people never grow up.

______________________________________

Below is the original article from 2015.

Dear High School Vice Principal: Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in our High School?

JANUARY 10, 2015 BY JULIETTE KINGS

Dear VP,

This is a partial post of what I’m going to be sending to you next week. I’m just using my blog to hash out the ideas.

On Friday I picked my daughter up from school but before she found my car I received a text that said, “I’m going to choke someone.”

Since the first day of High School my daughter and her friends have been complaining about the behavior of other kids in the school.

These are smart, normal, nice kids. They don’t fit into any categories. They’re just teens. In their core group the kids are White (6), Black (1), Mixed Race (2) and Asian (1). There are 4 boys and 6 girls in the group. Eight are straight, two are gay. They don’t care what anyone looks like or their ethnic background or who they will one day fall in love with.

They tell me tell me that the kids in the school are above all things sexist and disgusting. They tell me that kids are racists. They tell me that they will attack anyone who is different.

African American kids are subjected to comments like:

Why are you acting so white?
Why don’t you have black friends?
You don’t talk black?
One girl mentioned to my daughter that should wished she was in a different school where she could be wouldn’t be treated like she is different. She thought her school would be different but she was wrong.

Then the SAME white boys who criticize the black kids spend all of their time talking “ghetto talk.” And it is bad. Every other word is the N word, the C word, or the F word. You know what those words are.

My daughter called one of the boys out on in during PE on Friday. She asked him why he was talking like that. She told him he sounded like a 5th grader trying to be tough. She shut him down for a bit, but he’ll be back doing the same stupid stuff on Monday.

In every context and situation groups of boys constantly use the N word, the C word and the F word. This is both in and out of class. This disgusts my daughter.

My daughter is also shocked at all of the kids who hassle the Mormon teachers and students with rude and ignorant remarks. I found this surprising considering the large Mormon population at the school. Fair Oaks and Orangevale have HUGE Mormon populations so this baffles me. My family is not religious at all but I would never consider it acceptable for my child to hassle someone because of their faith.

On the other hand my daughter also told me that kids from one of the “religious clubs” tore down posters the Horror Club put up. Excuse me? That is also WRONG in every way. It is pure ignorance. Rather than finding out what the Horror Club is about the bigots from the religious club assumed they were worshiping the Devil. Excuse me but most horror novels, including this of Stephen King have a very strong good and evil focus. Good usually wins out in some sort or the other.

The real horror at the school is the bigotry, the sexist attitudes and the intolerance.

If a student, especially a male student, looks remotely Middle Eastern other kids will call him a terrorist. It doesn’t matter that he is Jewish and 4th generation American. He is still called a terrorist. Even when the Jewish kid defends himself, tries to ignore the other kids and tells them to stop it – they idiots still scream terrorist. Did you know about this?

The sexist attitudes at our high school are famous all over the school district. Kids from all school say it is the worst at our school. From the first day at school to the day they graduate girls are subjected to sexual comments. I’m not talking about a “hey baby.” These are explicit comments and suggestions. By the time a girl graduates she has received more penis selfies than she can count. And it never stops. It is all boys talk about.

Girls are constantly subjected to guys openly talking about sex, how many girls they have sex with, blow jobs, requests for blog jobs, requests for anal sex, requests to see tits, and all things related to those things. These boys don’t care who hears them.

The sad thing is the fact that a lot of kids think this is not only normal but acceptable.

My daughter complains how disgusting it is. She wonders why the worst offenders are always put in class together (her classes.) She wonders why they are so disgusting and stupid and why people put up with it.

My child isn’t some shocked little innocent. She knows there is a big wide world out there. But for heaven’s sake, what happened to manners?

I grew up seeing bigots who spewed hate with no thought about what they were doing.  I made a choice not to raise my child around such attitudes so you can imagine how shocked and disgusted and disappointed I am to hear about this. It happens EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m not talking a bout isolated incidents but something that happens every single period of every single day plus in the hallways. It never stops.

Boys who hang out with girls or dress nice are called fags. Wait…if a boy hangs out with pretty girls that used to be considered pretty lucky.

From day one there have been complaints about sexist boys.

So, I have one question for you Mr. VP…

Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in High School?

Let me ask again. Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in the High School?

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Go Throw Your Fit Somewhere Else

The other day I was out in public with a friend. I was wearing heels, something I haven’t done for a while, and I tripped down a couple of steps, and fell. Yes, Vampires do fall occasionally just like everyone else. I also cut my left hand. Towels were brought out and everyone commented first on the lack of blood for such a deep cut. Then they commented on the fact that I was so calm.

As a child I didn’t cry much. Maybe to get my elder brother’s off of my back, or just away from me. Screaming also did the trick. I could scream like no other. But the screaming was reserved only for my brothers, and only when absolutely necessary. None of us, even the more sensitive of my siblings (they know who they are) threw fits. We’d argue, but nobody ever threw a tantrum. Nobody ever cried in public or threw fits.

I remember how the three of us younger children, my brothers Aaron, Val, and I would look on in shock and horror at screaming badly behaved children.

I’ve got a baby in the house. Now a Vampire baby, but a canine baby. It made me think of when I had my own babies, toddlers, and small children.

When I was the mother of tiny tots I let them know that screaming, temper tantrums, fits, crying over nothing, and whining was no acceptable. At an early age I sat them down and told them NO. They didn’t like it due to the fact that they were extremely active children and opinionated, even at an early age, but I had to put a stop to all signs of them being brats.

At an early age I also told them that when they were in public, or at the home of a friend, that they had to behave better than they’d behave at home.

The fact that my wee children didn’t eat refried beans at the home of a school friend caused the mother to loudly and quiet angrily accuse my children being picky eaters.   My children didn’t act rude, they just said they didn’t like smashed beans. They were polite about it. And one also made a toilet joke later in the day. All five-year olds make toilet jokes. The mother heard on a baby monitor in her child’s room. Really? It wasn’t like he was dropping F bombs. I said that my children ate sushi and salsa and shellfish. Of course I didn’t tell her that they drank blood and might check for small puncture wounds on her children’s wrists. Oh that would have been too easy. Needless to say we didn’t go over there again.

One day all of the children at the preschool put rocks up their noses. Kids do that. If they were brats they would have been throwing rocks. We don’t throw rocks. OK we don’t put rocks up our noses either, but that is a different kind of conversation.

Like the girl in that slightly boring Cinderella movie said, “Be kind.”

Even as a paranormal being one must be kind. And as part of the group who call ourselves human beings we must always try to be kind. Unfortunately some people forget to teach that to their children.

Putting a rock up one’s nose is stupid behavior – that we laugh about now.

Throwing a rock is bad behavior – that we NEVER laugh about later.

I’m also thinking about babies and all of the political mess now. There is a lot of name calling, rock throwing, and men, who I’m sure were brats who stomped and yelled to get their way, wanting to decide our fate, or the fate of the land in which we live. Oh how I want to slap some of their mothers for not making them behave. That seems to be a pattern all over the world with men (and a few women) who wish to rule.

As we get older there are fewer brats and tantrum throwers, but I still occasionally hear stories from college and high school about children and young adults who haven’t grown out of their bad toddler behavior. Unfortunately there are adults who never grow out of it. They become workplace bullies, politicians, and volunteer moms at school (and Middle School PE Teachers.)

Another thing to teach children is to be proud of what they do, but also be proud of others. Don’t covet what others have or do. There will always be someone who will be smarter, or better looking, or faster, or whatever. Don’t throw a fit. Everyone has their own good qualities that make them unique.

If you know you’re unique and comfortable in your own skin then none of that matters. If you’re happy with yourself and at peace with that, you don’t have the desire to be cruel to others. For those who are cruel, might act as if they are happy, but they aren’t. Cruelty is a form of insecurity that masks itself as self-confidence. The same goes for bigotry.

I frequently get asked questions about my relationships with those who are different than I am. I say relationships, because I do have friends who aren’t like me. That is ok.

As long as we all know how to behave than we can celebrate who we are together.

But if you’re going to scream, cry, stomp, yell, call names, and throw rocks, you aren’t going to be invited to play at my house anymore.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Vampire mom

 

 

 

 

The True Nature of Things

A small dead bird appeared outside of my backdoor about ten minutes after I let the calico cat out this morning. She usually eats what she kills but this time she just left it. For me? It is a sad and unwanted gift. Is a teeny tiny bird soul flying away right now? At the same time I realize that cats are hunters. It is what they do.

At one time we all think about what our true nature is. OK maybe not, but it sounds sort of lofty and like blog post fodder so I’m going to run with it. Plus we were sort of talking about the subject last night.

My brother Andy decided to bring up politics. We were talking about those who have decided to run for President and those who insist on saying stupid things. “Politicians say things they know are wrong to placate the ignorant masses that might vote for them. They sell their souls to the gods of ignorance and lies. They’ll say evolution is wrong, and rape is acceptable as long as it doesn’t result in an abortion. They’re obsessed with the sex lives of others. They fear beliefs that are not their own. They fear everything they don’t understand. They close their eyes, ears and hearts. Only their mouths keep going, shouting and eating every lie and every soul they can find. They’ll line the road to Hell with bibles, lies and dead brain cells. Men sell their souls for power with the very souls of those they wish to control. It is in their nature to follow even though they pretend to lead. They’re vile creatures who lower themselves to the basest levels of humanity as the grasp for the tarnished idol of power. Antum religio potuit suadere malorum.”

Alright Andy. That was heavy, but more or less true. Val gave me an amused and knowing glance. We stopped the discussion on the stupidity of politicians who embrace ignorance before our heads exploded.

This is one of the reasons Vampires stay hidden in the shadows (along with Werewolves and a few others I won’t mention right now.)

As Vampires, I know some of you would tend to believe that our true nature is to be blood thirsty and rip throats out while the stuff runs down our chins. Stop right there. You all know I’ve written before, many times before, about blood stains and the high cost of dry-cleaning. Plus who wants stuff running down her chin. Come on, are we not adults here?

“Are you still working on the Dracula illustrations?” Val had to ask.

“Getting back to it,” I told him. “I’ve done some sketches but haven’t found the right face for the Count.”

“Don’t make any of them look like us,” said Andy. Of course Val and I know that Andy would love for me to base the likeness of one of the characters on him. I take that back after running the list through my head. No real Vampire would want to be like Dracula, at least not any in our circle. It just isn’t in our nature.

We like people. I have to admit that sometimes I have a love/hate relationship with humanity.

It is in my nature to think of amazing things and visualize them then get distracted. It is in Val’s nature to undistract me. It is in Andy’s nature to be both intense and distracted. As long as we understand our short comings and our strengths we do fine.

Luckily none of us are politicians.

Did I mention I get distracted? I don’t even remember the point of this post. I stepped away for a bit and, well, that is in my nature.

But no matter what my brothers are darling – as darling as they were as teens, a long time ago.

I’ll have more soon. I have art to do.

Have a good evening everyone (or just say it like Dracula in your best fake Vampire accent.)

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

vm_toast

 

 

 

Dear High School Vice Principal: Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in our High School?

Dear VP,

This is a partial post of what I’m going to be sending to you next week. I’m just using my blog to hash out the ideas.

On Friday I picked my daughter up from school but before she found my car I received a text that said, “I’m going to choke someone.”

Since the first day of High School my daughter and her friends have been complaining about the behavior of other kids in the school.

These are smart, normal, nice kids. They don’t fit into any categories. They’re just teens. In their core group the kids are White (6), Black (1), Mixed Race (2) and Asian (1). There are 4 boys and 6 girls in the group. Eight are straight, two are gay. They don’t care what anyone looks like or their ethnic background or who they will one day fall in love with.

They tell me  tell me that the kids in the school are above all things sexist and disgusting. They tell me that kids are racists. They tell me that they will attack anyone who is different.

African American kids are subjected to comments like:

  • Why are you acting so white?
  • Why don’t you have black friends?
  • You don’t talk black?

One girl mentioned to my daughter that should wished she was in a different school where she could be wouldn’t be treated like she is different. She thought her school would be different but she was wrong.

Then the SAME white boys who criticize the black kids spend all of their time talking “ghetto talk.” And it is bad. Every other word is the N word, the C word, or the F word. You know what those words are.

My daughter called one of the boys out on in during PE on Friday. She asked him why he was talking like that. She told him he sounded like a 5th grader trying to be tough. She shut him down for a bit, but he’ll be back doing the same stupid stuff on Monday.

In every context and situation groups of boys constantly use the N word, the C word and the F word. This is both in and out of class. This disgusts my daughter.

My daughter is also shocked at all of the kids who hassle the Mormon teachers and students with rude and ignorant remarks. I found this surprising considering the large Mormon population at the school. Fair Oaks and Orangevale have HUGE Mormon populations so this baffles me. My family is not religious at all but I would never consider it acceptable for my child to hassle someone because of their faith.

On the other hand my daughter also told me that kids from one of the “religious clubs” tore down posters the Horror Club put up. Excuse me? That is also WRONG in every way. It is pure ignorance. Rather than finding out what the Horror Club is about the bigots from the religious club assumed they were worshiping the Devil. Excuse me but most horror novels, including this of Stephen King have a very strong good and evil focus. Good usually wins out in some sort or the other.

The real horror at the school is the bigotry, the sexist attitudes and the intolerance.

If a student, especially a male student, looks remotely Middle Eastern other kids will call him a terrorist. It doesn’t matter that he is Jewish and 4th generation American. He is still called a terrorist. Even when the Jewish kid defends himself, tries to ignore the other kids and tells them to stop it – they idiots still scream terrorist. Did you know about this?

The sexist attitudes at our high school are famous all over the school district. Kids from all school say it is the worst at our school. From the first day at school to the day they graduate girls are subjected to sexual comments. I’m not talking about a “hey baby.” These are explicit comments and suggestions. By the time a girl graduates she has received more penis selfies than she can count. And it never stops. It is all boys talk about.

Girls are constantly subjected to guys openly talking about sex, how many girls they have sex with, blow jobs, requests for blog jobs, requests for anal sex, requests to see tits, and all things related to those things. These boys don’t care who hears them.

The sad thing is the fact that a lot of kids think this is not only normal but acceptable.

My daughter complains how disgusting it is. She wonders why the worst offenders are always put in class together (her classes.) She wonders why they are so disgusting and stupid and why people put up with it.

My child isn’t some shocked little innocent. She knows there is a big wide world out there. But for heaven’s sake, what happened to manners?

I was brought up in a family full of bigots. I made a choice not to raise my child around such attitudes so you can imagine how shocked and disgusted and disappointed I am to hear about this. It happens EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m not talking a bout isolated incidents but something that happens every single period of every single day plus in the hallways. It never stops.

Boys who hang out with girls or dress nice are called fags. Wait…if a boy hangs out with pretty girls that used to be considered pretty lucky.

From day one there have been complaints about sexist boys.

So, I have one question for you Mr. VP…

Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in High School?

Let me ask again. Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in the High School?

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Why teens are like cats.

blogging-cat-meme

 

I read an entertaining article this about trying to measure the intelligence of cats (check slate.com) and yes, of course the cats did not cooperate or give a rats ass about doing their best. Cats don’t care. Dogs care. Fish care. Cats don’t care. They’re obviously unconcerned about standardized testing, status or pleasing anyone.

One of my cats didn’t answer to her name for the first five years of her life. We didn’t even try to figure out why it took her so long.

The same sorts of concepts apply when trying to understand teenagers. Only they say they’re cooperative when they’re not and they do care. When they care they either are full of heart breaking angst or they act like they don’t care by giving monosyllabic answers or a shrug.

 

cats

 

Teens and cats could both sleep 20 hours a day. They’re both fun to have around when they’re in a good mood. They both like to play. They both like to eat. They’re both demanding for your attention when they want something. They will both ignore you for no reason – even when you don’t want to be ignored. Even when ignoring you could be dangerous to their well being (parents you know what I’m talking about.) Teens and cats are both so cute and so funny. They’re both horrible when they’re in a bad mood.

And when I’m in a bad mood they’re both exceptionally good at cheering me up.

Yesterday was a hard day for both of my teens and for me.

The oldest is bored with school. He wonders why he can’t just “Pass Go” and move on to college. This is a first for this school loving social butterfly. I told him that if he wanted to stay on the list for the good school that he had to keep up the grades, something he already knows and will do. I’m finding him writing more sensitive poetry and leaving it in his pockets. Then my dryer is full of poems. I need to tell my son to self publish a poetry anthology so he can help pay for college next year.

The youngest is in Hell. She hates high school. She hates her teachers. Her teachers hate her. She hates most of the kids. Her brother doesn’t understand because he is perfect. She got into the wrong classes. She isn’t learning anything in 4 of her 6 classes. She is failing because her teachers suck. At this rate she’ll never get into a good college. It broke my heart to listen to her. Her dad and I offered to talk to her English teacher (the witch who hates kids and life and teaching) but she said that would only make it worse. She said if we communicate with her teachers she’ll be put on a black list and end up being loathed by all of the teaching staff and doomed to fail forever. Later she checked her grades online (after much searching for the password). She is doing fine. All is good. Next year will be better. Today is April 22 and school gets out June 5. Summer will be here before we know it.

The cats had their own issues. The dog ate their food. Oscar the happy-go-lucky gray and white cat was outside all night long and frantic this morning to get in. Gloria the calico was pissed that I let Oscar back in the house. The list of transgressions goes on and on… until a moth flies across the room and both cats scramble to catch it.

Cats don’t like it when you hold their paws. But with teens, most of the time, they just need someone to hold their hand and listen.

When school sucks they need to know that home will always be a safe place where there is someone who will listen to them and at least try to understand. They need to talk it out. And sometimes, like cats, they need a fun distraction.

Having kids who think ahead is rewarding, but it is also scary and painful when they don’t see the future they’ve dreamed of, the future that is expected of them clearly. Maybe there is too much pressure these days with news of how difficult ahead their road will be. Who knows. Nobody can be an expert on the subject because no two teens are alike.

We just need to love and listen. It is simple and it works (most of the time.)

The same goes for those cats. Love them and listen to them (most of the time).

 ~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Miss Gloria will be the first to tell you that she doesn't give a rat's ass about your testing criteria. Never has. Never will.

I never answered to my name because I wasn’t interested in anything you said. Was it really THAT difficult to figure out?