Dear High School Vice Principal: Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in our High School?

Dear VP,

This is a partial post of what I’m going to be sending to you next week. I’m just using my blog to hash out the ideas.

On Friday I picked my daughter up from school but before she found my car I received a text that said, “I’m going to choke someone.”

Since the first day of High School my daughter and her friends have been complaining about the behavior of other kids in the school.

These are smart, normal, nice kids. They don’t fit into any categories. They’re just teens. In their core group the kids are White (6), Black (1), Mixed Race (2) and Asian (1). There are 4 boys and 6 girls in the group. Eight are straight, two are gay. They don’t care what anyone looks like or their ethnic background or who they will one day fall in love with.

They tell me  tell me that the kids in the school are above all things sexist and disgusting. They tell me that kids are racists. They tell me that they will attack anyone who is different.

African American kids are subjected to comments like:

  • Why are you acting so white?
  • Why don’t you have black friends?
  • You don’t talk black?

One girl mentioned to my daughter that should wished she was in a different school where she could be wouldn’t be treated like she is different. She thought her school would be different but she was wrong.

Then the SAME white boys who criticize the black kids spend all of their time talking “ghetto talk.” And it is bad. Every other word is the N word, the C word, or the F word. You know what those words are.

My daughter called one of the boys out on in during PE on Friday. She asked him why he was talking like that. She told him he sounded like a 5th grader trying to be tough. She shut him down for a bit, but he’ll be back doing the same stupid stuff on Monday.

In every context and situation groups of boys constantly use the N word, the C word and the F word. This is both in and out of class. This disgusts my daughter.

My daughter is also shocked at all of the kids who hassle the Mormon teachers and students with rude and ignorant remarks. I found this surprising considering the large Mormon population at the school. Fair Oaks and Orangevale have HUGE Mormon populations so this baffles me. My family is not religious at all but I would never consider it acceptable for my child to hassle someone because of their faith.

On the other hand my daughter also told me that kids from one of the “religious clubs” tore down posters the Horror Club put up. Excuse me? That is also WRONG in every way. It is pure ignorance. Rather than finding out what the Horror Club is about the bigots from the religious club assumed they were worshiping the Devil. Excuse me but most horror novels, including this of Stephen King have a very strong good and evil focus. Good usually wins out in some sort or the other.

The real horror at the school is the bigotry, the sexist attitudes and the intolerance.

If a student, especially a male student, looks remotely Middle Eastern other kids will call him a terrorist. It doesn’t matter that he is Jewish and 4th generation American. He is still called a terrorist. Even when the Jewish kid defends himself, tries to ignore the other kids and tells them to stop it – they idiots still scream terrorist. Did you know about this?

The sexist attitudes at our high school are famous all over the school district. Kids from all school say it is the worst at our school. From the first day at school to the day they graduate girls are subjected to sexual comments. I’m not talking about a “hey baby.” These are explicit comments and suggestions. By the time a girl graduates she has received more penis selfies than she can count. And it never stops. It is all boys talk about.

Girls are constantly subjected to guys openly talking about sex, how many girls they have sex with, blow jobs, requests for blog jobs, requests for anal sex, requests to see tits, and all things related to those things. These boys don’t care who hears them.

The sad thing is the fact that a lot of kids think this is not only normal but acceptable.

My daughter complains how disgusting it is. She wonders why the worst offenders are always put in class together (her classes.) She wonders why they are so disgusting and stupid and why people put up with it.

My child isn’t some shocked little innocent. She knows there is a big wide world out there. But for heaven’s sake, what happened to manners?

I was brought up in a family full of bigots. I made a choice not to raise my child around such attitudes so you can imagine how shocked and disgusted and disappointed I am to hear about this. It happens EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m not talking a bout isolated incidents but something that happens every single period of every single day plus in the hallways. It never stops.

Boys who hang out with girls or dress nice are called fags. Wait…if a boy hangs out with pretty girls that used to be considered pretty lucky.

From day one there have been complaints about sexist boys.

So, I have one question for you Mr. VP…

Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in High School?

Let me ask again. Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in the High School?

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


10 thoughts on “Dear High School Vice Principal: Why is behavior that is illegal in the workplace accepted as normal in our High School?

  1. Great post dear Juliette. My wife was one those girls who were sexually harassed some twenty years ago. And whenever she complained about it, she was told “Oh they’re just being boys. They do it because they like you… yadda-yadda”

    This kind of crap has gone on way too many years and needs to stop. Thanks for posting this. More and more people need to know where all the ‘thuggery’ begins. Maybe we can wind up with more decent grown-ups down the road.

    • Ugh. I’m so sorry she had to go through that. I had to deal with stuff like that too (horrible things) when I was younger – especially in the workplace.

      Teachers have their hands tied. Kids keep quiet because they don’t want the hassle. It has to start at home but the parents don’t even know their own kids. Or worse the kids learn from their parents. Ugh. Baby steps…we can make it better with baby steps…
      Thanks for coming by.

  2. Oh my goodness. I’d like to say, “Well, you know, it’s the neighborhood …” having grown up there myself, but it’s not. We’ve got it here, too, many miles away. It IS disgusting and very, very sad. The administrators and teachers say they can’t do anything about it because it is a behavior tolerated at home. Sure, teachers can insist on decent behavior in class and some can enforce it due to their ability to command respect but I’ve talked with the teachers at my daughter’s school and I feel for them. They are really trying and they are up against the wall. These kids see this behavior everywhere; music videos, YouTube videos, magazine ads (yes, those prevalent “women are sex object and men are studs” ads), and at home where the jerks swear every forth word, cut people off in traffic, and generally are morons.

    It’s not the schools, it the society. My kid says that most parents are absent. By the time the kids hit middle school, they’re already being ignored and just tolerated. It seems there are few parents who intentionally make the time to hang with their kids, insist on decent behavior, and role model manners.

    I want to make a zillion dollars so I can create a public service campaign that just floods the social media with This Is How We Behave Like Polite People.

    • Good points. Music and the media are huge influences on kids. Many parents have no idea what their kids listen. Reality TV is just about the worst for making bad behavior look like the norm.

      Kids or ignored or they totally control their parents. When parents do find out about this behavior it usually hits the fan but parents rarely know about it.

  3. This is somewhat scary!! I don’t have kids – but when I remember back in school there was a lot of bullying going on. Some were bullied for their weight, I was bullied for my long hair, some boys were sexist – but it wasn’t “normal” or “acceptable” – and back then teachers tried to DO something about it instead of just tolerating all that.
    (When the bullying got too bad I finally grabbed the leader of the pack and beat her up. Not too bad – but she never forgot it… – And our teacher did NOT go to the principal with me and got me punished – he knew it was well deserved and that it would get me the necessary respect – and so it did)…
    I was supported by teachers. Racism wasn’t tolerated and neither was sexism…

    • I’m surprised this sort of things goes on with all of the media publicity and all of the hyper over-protective parents. Maybe it is the over protected kids who are doing most of the sexist and racist crap. Out of their parent’s eyes they go nuts. Get those kids in a group and they turn into some dozen headed animal behaving in ways they would never behave at home. Ugh. It is all bad and it needs to be stopped or at least discussed with the kids.

      You were bullied for long hair? What kind of stupid kids do that? That is just too weird. Good thing the teachers supported you and that you had the chance to fight back.

      • You know how girls are… they all had short hair and thought I would think being something better than them – and/or pure jealousy…
        Boys play a joke on you – then they laugh and it’s over – but girls NEVER stop… and they just drove me over the edge. I still am grateful for that particular teacher. *sigh*


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