Vampire Diary: Something I Do Understand

Dear Diary,

The cat has gone missing. I looked everywhere. Damn me to Hell I can hear or smell any prey but I cannot find a cat. My cat. The cat of the damned. My frustration increases by the hour. I haven’t given her a name. She has not told me what she wishes to be called. I don’t know how to call her.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Last night. A woman as beautiful and seductive as Helen of Troy held me in her embrace and let me into her trust. I drank her blood then sat as she slept and thought about my cat.

The woman woke and asked me why I looked so sad. I told her I’d lost my cat. She told me to put up a sign.

I didn’t understand. She smiled and called me a dumb blonde. I am so confused. I don’t understand modern women or why I have such feelings for a cat. I am not dumb.

I put up a sign then waited. The cat is still gone.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

The cat has not returned. I am not sure she has even seen the sign.

My neighbor told me the sign is cute. Everything is cute to people around here. I am cute. My cat is cute. The sign is cute. Children are cute. I do not understand all this cute.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Today I received an invitation to a black tie event. That means formal. I can do formal. I am the prince of formal. Nobody can do formal like a Vampire.

Everyone thinks a Vampire must be dark-haired and gaunt. I am fair and according to my neighbors I am also cute, hot and sexy. Is there a single word for all of this confusing flattery? I have learned to accept it, whatever it is.

The cat has not returned.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Tonight is the event. It is to make funds for a charity. An admirable cause for art. Art is one thing I do understand, or at least I can feel.

Since coming to this place far from my ancient home, I have found that there is much I do not understand. The most strange thing of all is that I am feeling emotions that have been dead since I was alive. Alive. That was centuries ago.

In the large closet I found the correct suit. Tonight I will be stunning. I will be seductive. I will be charming. I will be handsome. I will not be cute.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Upon returning home tonight I found my home dark without joy. For many Vampires that would be a blessing. For me it was not. The cat was not there.

Despite an evening filled with success and conquest my heart remains cold and still. I hold power over so many, yet the disappearance of a cat has made me feel helpless and empty.

The thought of bringing a woman home, and there were so many I could have desired, was far from my mind. It would have been a distraction but a hollow one.

I went into my bedroom to rest and think alone. But I was not alone. I heard a noise. Small noises. Voices. I quickly pulled out a drawer of the dresser and there she was.

There was the cat with four tiny kittens. They were so tiny I could have put them all in the palm of my hand. I looked on in wonder as my cat purred and sang to me a joyful song.

I found my cat.

I do not know who the father is so I will take his place to protect this tiny brood.

Do I dare say that they are cute?  Yes, they are exceptionally cute. That is something I do understand.

~ Vlad

blue cat

For the rest of the Vampire Diary Series (featuring Vlad and the Cat) do a search on this blog using the words “Vampire Diary” or “Vlad”

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Diary: Embroiled in a Dream (and still cute)

Dear Diary,

The cat asked to go out tonight. I told her no. She cursed my soul with a horrible wail. I told her I wasn’t sure I have a soul. She then hissed at me and ran away.

An hour later she crawled in my lap and purred.

I do not understand this creature.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Tonight I would hunt and take the night as the Vampire Lord.

As I walked down the street, past strands of twinkling white lights hanging in the windows and trees, I observed bars and other businesses are full of people who mingle and talk.

At one time people bowed down to me as I passed due to my power and fear. Now women smile and giggle and tell me I am cute. Cute?

As a former Vampire King I do not have to depend on “cute” to find my prey.

I set my eyes on a young woman. I lock eyes with her and she comes to me. She is mine.

A cold hand grabs my shoulder just enough for me to turn.

There stands a man, another Vampire. He has the audacity to stop and speak to me.

“She’s mine. I’m her Vampire,” he says to me.


“I’m her Vampire. You know, man. I am her Vampire. There are plenty of women here. You’re scary attractive. Take your pick, but don’t take my ladies.”

“Scary attractive?” I didn’t see anyone running away or hear screaming.

“Dude. You’re perfect. You have that California blonde beach guy look. Women love that.”

I had no idea what he was talking about. “What do you know of being a Vampire?” I asked.

“I was born this way,” he said almost in a whisper. The look on his face changed almost to recognition. Then he whispered a swear word under his breath and took the woman (who did not hear us) by the arm. “Come on Lilly. I want to show you something.”

I stood with rage in my heart, but never showed emotion on my face.

In the back office I nearly drained an attractive bartender of blood. In the days of my past glory I would have just left her, but instead I called the pub manager to say the poor girl had fainted. Oh how things have changed. I would have killed her in the past but now Vampires see humans as renewable resources.

My completion was one of the rare offspring of our kind. They scare me in their urge to mingle with humankind. They have no respect for the traditions of old. I do not understand them.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

I was embroiled in a dream of a living man. I was alive again. Warm blood surged through my veins. Warm flesh covered my bones. I raised my hands up to the sunlight and laughed. My hair was bleached almost white from the summer sun on the water. Suddenly something rough slid across my face…

I woke in a panic.

The cat was licking my face.

Gillian smiled at my expense. My own Vampire lover had come to my bed earlier in the night.

Putting my hand to her cheek I asked, “Do you remember when you turned into a Vampire?”

“Of course. Nobody ever forgets.”

“How old were you?”

“Seventeen. And you my love?”

“Twenty. It was the eve of my marriage to a princess.”

“You didn’t marry her did you?”

“No. years later I married a Vampire. It was 1623. But that was a long time ago.”

“I remember. I didn’t know you then but everyone was talking about it.”

Then I told Gillian about the Vampire I’d met the night before.

She sat up in bed and stared at me.

“What? Do you think I’m cute too?”

Gillain’s eyes narrowed. “You were married to his Grandmother. She is going to be so pissed when she finds out you’re in town.”

I should have stayed in Europe but the castle is only rubble and there is no place for a Vampire King.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

I have brooded for three nights. Gillian became angered and left. I can’t find my cat.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

The doorbell rang. I went to answer. Standing on my front porch was a small child holding my cat.

“This is your cat,” said the small child.

I could smell her blood. I put my hand on the edge of the door so I wouldn’t fall over. I realized I hadn’t eaten in days.

I took the purring cat from the child’s arms. “Thank you dear child.” Out of my pocket I pulled an ancient coin from my old country. I put it in her small hand and closed her fingers around it.”

The tiny girl looked at the coin with a face of a king on one side and a raven on the other. Then she looked up at me. “The man on the coin looks like you.”

At one time that coin, a simple copper  and silver disc, would bring fear into the heart of a living man. Now it brought delight to the eyes of a child.

I smiled and thanked for again for bringing back the cat. I watched her walk down my walkway then the child turned and grinned, then said, “my mom thinks you’re cute.”

More cute? I just don’t understand.

~ Vlad

blue cat

Vampire Diary: Blood Red

Dear Diary,

Blood red roses. Silk sheets black as a Siberian night. Skin as white and cold as snow. Cold as death and as beautiful as a winter wind, Gillian lay in my bed beside me. She was all mine.

Whispering my name, she pulled me close, scraping fangs across my shoulder and nails down my back. Yes, there are even things that render a Vampire Prince such as myself powerless.

Yes, that thing is called a doorbell. The doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone or anything.

Opening the window I looked out into the yard. My neighbor was standing there among the crimson roses. She looked up at me.

“Oh my God, you’re built. Six pack abs and everything,” she said.

I wished I’d put on my robe. “What do you want?”

“The garden tour is today. Get dressed and come down to help.”

I vaguely remember her mentioning a garden tour. Several homes in the neighborhood were being featured. It was a charity event for the local school. I declined, though my garden is spectacular.

I made a valid excuse, “I have company.”

“You lucky dog! Bring her along. We have coffee and muffins.”

Then she waved with her fingers and left. I went back to my waiting lover, who’d by then fallen asleep.

I don’t even like muffins. Why did she call me a dog? I do not understand.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

For centuries I lived in fine castles and estates with hundreds and even thousands of acres. I was the prince who ruled over forests and field. Hundred were under my command for my personal use.

Beautiful young men and women from the town would be brought to me every night so that I might enjoy their blood. They feared me and obeyed me. In turn, they desired me and wanted to be among my favorites. They were drawn to what they feared and desired the most – and that was me.


The neighbor who thinks I’m “hot” doesn’t know that I’ve feasted on her blood several times when her husband was away. She has no fear of me. Desire? No matter how attracted she is to me she will never be unfaithful to her husband. She could seduce me but I could not seduce her.

That makes no sense. What is the world coming to? She believes me to be the most attractive male she has ever met but she would never follow me except to maybe the grocery store or…

Stop. Vlad, you made the choice to be here. You made the choice to leave the old dark ways and move on. But to what end? To what end?

My lover Gillian told me, “Vlad, this isn’t the 16th Century.” She has told me over and over and over and over. For Gillian, embracing the modern world was easy. For me it is difficult at best.

The cat is looking at me as if to say, “dare me to walk over the keyboard.”

I still don’t like muffins. I threw the ones left here yesterday over the fence for the other neighbor’s dog to eat. He likes muffins.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Cats have their own doctors. I do not understand this world in which I live.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

A turkey vulture, buzzard, Cathartes aura, sits on a tree outside my window. He is known for his grace in the wind and for following death. Maybe that is why he sits near me.

Gillian said I have become morose. Yet, she has asked for a drawer and a space in my bedroom closet.

I asked the women in my neighborhood about that over cocktails tonight. It was a neighborhood thing. I was invited. The women knew what Gillian wants. Mortal women know what a Vampire woman desires. They tell me it is “serious,” then they giggle like school girls. My head spins. I need blood.

Later that night before Gillian returned I went out to hunt. It is so easy these days. I miss the hunt and the fear. On the other hand I fear Gillian. I want her, but now I fear her. I can’t explain that any more than I can explain why I allow a cat to live in my house.

A modern world with a Modern Vampire. I am over my head. Maybe head over heels. It is all so confusing.

~ Vlad

Vampire Diary: Feeling Alive

Dear Diary,

The man with the leaf blower, the barking dog and the kid with the loud rap music are no longer problems. 🙂


The cat walking over the keyboard is still an issue.

~ Vlad





Dear Diary,

Last night I sat on the bed watching the woman named Tessa sleep.

After I’d taken we’d made love… I’ve been with her three times.

She said, “you make me feel alive.”

I didn’t understand what she meant. I sat for an hour looking at her, trying to figure it all out. I still do not understand. Why do I care?

I can still taste her blood and smell the scent of jasmine in her hair.

~ Vlad





Dear Diary,

I was awakened from my sleep with the sound of my doorbell. The teenage boy who lives next door stood on my doorstep holding my cat.

“She comes over everyday and eats.”

“What does she eat?” Rats maybe? I didn’t know.

“Friskies. It is the only brand our cats eat.”


“The dry stuff?”

I did not understand. “Where do you get this Friskies?”

“The grocery store,” said the boy looking at me oddly.

I took my cat and thanked the boy. I assumed the cat was catching most of her own food. I was wrong. I’m rarely wrong. Modern cats are confusing. Their culture is completely different from cats I’ve had in the past. How did they conspire to make us their slaves?

I asked the cat about this. She said nothing and commenced purring.

~ Vlad






Dear Diary,

I went to the store and purchased Friskies. The cat is happy.

I cannot stop thinking about Tessa. I make her feel alive. I make her feel alive. I make her feel alive. What does she mean? She is alive. She isn’t a Vampire. I do not understand.

~ Vlad




Dear Diary,

Tonight I stood in an orchard out under the stars with my old friend. He held out his arm, then laughed as two, three then four tiny brown bats landed on him and rested their tiny wings.

I’ve known him for almost a millenium and for that long he has freely laughed at everything that crosses his path. He was always one of the most powerful of our kind, yet he never chose to be a Vampire Lord of the Night.

“Look at us,” he said to me. “We look like a couple of young men ready to take on the world, not a couple of old Vampires reminiscing about the last Beethoven concert.”

He keeps telling me that I need to “get with it” and “stay out of the crypt.” He is a thousand years older than I am but when I’m with him I feel ancient.

I went home and fed the cat her vile crunchy food. She purred and thanked me by licking my hand.

I picked up the phone to call Tessa, then I put it down. Then I picked it up. Then I put it down. My chest tightened. My heart started to beat. Once, twice, then a dozen times. I am confused. The phone rang. It was Tessa. I will see her soon. Her blood is A+ and her hair smells of jasmine and I make her feel alive.

The cat is still purring. At least that is something I understand.

~ Vlad