School Lunch ideas for the middle school vampire

Having a child who is curious about drugs, alcohol and sex is easy. You have an open dialog starting early in childhood. You build trust between parent and child. You monitor their friends and school. Easy stuff.

Having a child who hits puberty and suddenly discovers he has an insatiable desire for human blood is an entirely different matter.  Just like with sex, your average middle school kid is curious but she won’t act on it. Just like the average vampire middle school like won’t act on the desire to bite his human classmates.

So that brings me to the subject of school lunches.

As you all know any carbs are out. By now all of your child’s classmates and teachers should know that your child can’t eat bread, chips, and cookies or more or less anything white (except cauliflower and onions).

Aside from that most food is safe. The difficult part is putting the red protein and blood into the diet, including when your child is at school.

A good way to add liquid blood into the lunch box is to add it to 100% cherry or cranberry juice. Mix it half and half for a great lunchtime treat.

Bone up on your baking with these Flour free Rye “Crackers”.

These whole-grain crackers are delicious and stay crisp for months in the freezer. Bake them as squares or circles. You can use any of your favorite seeds — caraway, fennel and sesame are my favorites. This is a favorite among teen vampires and their friends never know the difference.

1/2 pint of buttermilk

½ pint whole blood

1/4 cup Splenda or other sugar substitute (look on the web for conversion charts)

1/2 cup melted butter

1 tsp. salt

7/8 tsp. baking soda

Coarse bone meal

Caraway, sesame, fennel or other seeds if desired

Mix the ingredients with enough flour to make a thick dough. Roll the dough into a ball and cut into quarters. Roll each quarter into a 1 1/2 to 2-inch cylinder. Cut a cylinder into 6 slices. Press each side of each slice into whatever seeds you choose. Sprinkle rye flour liberally on the counter, then roll each slice out on the flour as thinly as you can — about an 1/8-inch thick and cut into whatever shape you wish.

Place each cracker carefully on a baking sheet. Bake at 425 degrees Fahrenheit for about 12-15 minutes.

Serve with your favorite cheese. My kids like sharp cheddar, herbed goat cheese and Swiss cheese.

Other suggestions for cool teen lunches are:

  • Rare beef rolled in kelp and Swiss chard mixed with tangy tomato sauce and flax seeds.
  • Blood and blackberry smoothies made with Greek Yoghurt.
  • Kelp chips just for the fun of it.
  • Jerky from any animal with red meat. Your choice, just watch the salt content and the sugar.

Now with the advent of the current Vampire mania fueled by the Twilight series and other books it makes it even more difficult. Check back soon for more articles and suggestions from other parents on raising your modern Vampire child.

For comments click on this story and the comments page will come out at the end. As old as I am with centuries you’d think I could figure out this blog thing. More soon.

Juliette aka Vampire Maman.

2 thoughts on “School Lunch ideas for the middle school vampire

  1. Pingback: Hunger Games – Vampire Teens Need to EAT! | Vampire Maman

  2. Pingback: School Lunch ideas for the middle school vampire « West Coast Review


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.