Letter to a new mother

My dear darling beautiful wonderful D,

This morning I saw the news that your daughter was born and I was doing the happy dance! Oh my goodness. I am so happy you. And I’m so proud of you.

When I was single I didn’t feel comfortable around children until I met you.  You were a wonder and joy.  You were a magical little person who was smart and funny and so cute that I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of you.

Your mom amazed me with her ease and natural knowledge of motherhood.  She loved you in the moment and loved you for the future and for the woman and the mother that you’d become one day. And for that I love your mom.

I remember walking you to school in a small English village where you lived.  A tiny little American child, chatting nonstop about your views on life, and the great big world. No amount of clouds or cold could keep your sunshine away.

And years later when I’d just found out I was pregnant, you showed off your prom dresses, while your dad bragged on you to all of us.

My husband marveled at you and said, “I hope we’ll have a daughter like her.”

You never know whom you’re going to bring into your home. I’ve experienced the wonders of snail races and worm bracelets (draping worms over one’s arms after a rain storm). There are lessons to be learned like goldfish don’t live long if you take them out and pet them. There are the funny noises and the joyful laughs. And you’ll one day treasure taking your daughter to her first indie band concert as much as your treasure the songs you sang to her in her crib.

The thrill lasts long after they learn to walk, and run, and fly. Every minute is a joy and wonder.  And I say that even remembering long nights of projectile vomiting, calls from school (whacking a bully on the head with a tray at lunch to defend another child and other assorted things we now laugh about) and times when you’re so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open and the wee child just won’t stop talking. We have to make hard choices, tell her who she can’t be friends with, cut off ties, get tough and crack down on homework. But the tough times are few and far between, and your child will respect you for being the adult. Believe me on this one.

Now as a mother of a teenage daughter I can say, with authority, that it is all good. It stays good. Don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise.

Let your daughter be who she is and celebrate her own unique personality, tastes and humor.

Be wise in your choices about schools and friends. Yes, you can be picky. You should be picky. This is YOUR child. If anyone tries to undermine your choices as a mother then they might not want to be the kind of people you want in your life.

Some of the best advice I received about parenting was from your mom. In fact, most of the best advice was from your mom. She told me that there should always be an endless supply of hugs and kisses.

Your mom also said “Don’t take advice from people who are bad parents.” Or I translate that into don’t take advice from people who have out of control brats and out of control lives. Period. And those are the people who unfortunately WILL be giving you the most advice.

I am so happy for you and your darling husband and wishing you all the happiness in the world. I know for a FACT that you will be the best parents ever. You are truly blessed with your wonderful little daughter.

A Mom’s Every Single Day to do list:

  • Hugs and Kisses
  • Talk with your child
  • Take a deep breath as needed
  • Have fun and play with your child
  • Be the adult
  • Talk with your child
  • Hugs and Kisses
  • And you don’t have to be a werewolf to be a mother wolf and fight for your child tooth and nail

And there will be times when you’ll wonder if your daughter appreciates you. She will. Just imagine if your mom wrote a parenting blog from a Vampire Maman point of view… my daughter thinks it is pretty funny but keeps telling me to finish up those novels.

Your Auntie B and I will always be your mother’s eccentric friends … and I know in turn you will inspire our daughters. I can’t think of a better role model for any girl than you.

xoxoxox

~ Juliette aka your Aunt M

dancing with your daughter

10 thoughts on “Letter to a new mother

  1. Pingback: Letter to a new mother « West Coast Review

  2. I can’t help but laugh at remembering when D came to my house this time of year over 25 years ago as a little, little girl. We dressed her up in a tower of cowboy hats! She was so cute. Now she has her own little wonder.

    Juliette, everything you said is spot on! You write the most beautiful things. And you’re right, D has grown up to be fantastic role model.

  3. Wonderful words and memories. On February 1st another strong woman was born into our special circle of friends. With these words you have welcomed her to our group of Mothers and daughters,friends for this life and the next…..Thank you

  4. Pingback: Letter to a new mother « West Coast Review

  5. Pingback: Letter to a new mother | West Coast Review

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