Warning: I’m going to say things about your favorite books, movies and musicians that you might not agree with.
There are things that I don’t like in popular culture that people (most) rave about and I simmer with disgust.
I don’t mention a lot of these things to avoid reactions. It is as if I said “I don’t like puppies or kittens.” I mean everyone loves puppies and kittens. I really love kittens but I just used that as an example.
But I’m not one of those rabid haters who goes into Facebook Groups or other online forums and spreads negativity and acting like, well, an asshole.
That said, there are things I don’t like. I don’t like the books “Eat, Pray, Love”, “The Bridges of Madison County” or “Little Women”. But that is just me. Go ahead and love them. Just don’t hate on me because I don’t share your love. I don’t like Sylvia Plath either (please don’t send me hate mail). There for the first time THAT is out in the open.
The very idea of watching Steel Magnolias makes my teeth hurt. I can’t stand Forest Gump. But you can watch those movies all you want – just don’t expect me to watch them with you or listen to you talk about them with joy and wonder.
Music is something that really gets to people. I hear Fleetwood Mac is coming out with a new album. I’ll hide under my house in a coffin for a month to avoid hearing any of it. I didn’t like them on their first album and I don’t like them now. Those voices put me on edge and make me want to scream. Just like I can’t stand listening to Neil Young, most female singers from the 1990’s, most music from the 1970’s, Bob Dylan and Babs Streisand. But if you love them then listen to them. If it makes you happy listen to them. If you want to read Twilight for the 12th time go ahead.
And that is something that I try to teach my kids. They talk about the rabid haters for some of the bands they listen to. Some of the bands might seem weird. And some of the fans or weird. But worse are the haters who do everything from online hater talk to peeing on graves of band members who have passed away. One band that has a lot of almost violent haters is a band that promotes “being yourself” and also has a strong anti bullying message. Go figure.
If we all listened to the same music then every radio station would be the same and everyone would be bored. Music would die. And with any hope it would be reborn from the lone kid in her bedroom with a guitar doing something different and new.
So back to parenting…I don’t want my kids to ever describe themselves as “jaded”. But I don’t ever want them to not have opinions – even strong opinions. But there is a time or place for those opinions. Teach them to have filters and know when and when not to speak up. And it is ok to speak up, but speak up in an informed and educated manner. Speak up in a friendly manner. Don’t be a hater about it.
A good rule is to wait a second, like the delay on TV (for bad language etc), then if the words in your head seem right speak your opinion. Same with posting something online.
Don’t hate me because I don’t like your books, music or movies. Like me because even if I don’t like your taste in anything I think it is ok for you to like it. I’m cool with it. I don’t care.
All of that said, if you don’t like puppies or kittens there might be something seriously wrong with you and have it checked out by a professional.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman