Today I sit here and try to get my brain around what I’m going to do today.
Landscaping. I realize that isn’t typically what one thinks of when one thinks of Vampires, but it helps me clear my brain. I’m clearing out everything, which isn’t much right now, just weeds and rocks and old feral grass, to make a drought happy yard. I’ve already put in one daylily and iris bed. In the bed are also Asiatic lily bulbs and a few other odds and ends that will yield spring and summertime surprises. Today I made the second bed, a space of about 12 x 12 feet. I hoed out weeds and brought river rocks from the backyard to make a border. The puppy helped move sticks around and barked when I used the hoe and rake. It is great fun.
Yes, I could have done this at night but the neighbors already think we’re weird. I live my life during the day because I have kids in school.
I gave my neighbor a can of tuna so she could lure a sick cat out of her attic. She watched my puppy in the front yard while I dug through my pantry. My cat loves tuna too, almost as much as he loves whipped cream.
Then the wind kicked up and I got tired of dirt in my eyes.
So what will it be today? Writing?
Seriously, I’m writing a novel and Nigel the Ghost is the main character. Any takers? Could this be a best seller in the making? I’m not in it. It is his story, not mine. I’m just the story teller.
I’m in major transition right now. Soon there will be no children in my house. I also need to figure to what I’m going to do next. Sure I can write, but do the masses want my tales? Any takers? God, I sound pathetic. This is what my brother Aaron calls the “worm song.”
I can help new Vampires, but that isn’t a full time job and it has trickled down lately to almost nothing.
I can draw. I need to draw more. I need to bring back my passion and see if my skills are still there. Yet, as much as my passion and identity lies in my art, it is painful. It is painful to start anything.
I started this blog writing about Middle School. That was nuts. College and High School are calm. The kids are calm. All is calm. All is wonderful. But that leaves me with a parenting blog about my perfect kids – and who wants to read about that? Oh crap, everyone would hate me. Give me a few days. I’ll think of something funny or inspiring or helpful. Maybe even later today.
So I watch the trees shake in the wind. I attempt to housebreak the puppy and take her for walks. I rub the cats on their necks and listen to them purr and complain about the puppy.
I check in on everyone.
Then I sit numb, sort of, and listen to the clock on the mantel and the soft snoring of a calico cat on a red couch.
The only ghost here today is me.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman