When a friendship fails

When your kids are small friends come and go.

When those friendships last for years then fail it can be hard.

One of Clara’s long time forever friends is no longer a forever friend. They are in high school and have so far avoided a lot of the drama. My daughter has an aversion to drama (thank goodness.)

I suppose a more sensitive nature might have considered herself bullied. Clara just blocked the friend from all social media and phone contact.

The “friend” gets drunk with another girl (a 17-year-old teen mom who is obviously not taking care of her child) and then they sent a steady flow of messages to my daughter. The messages are strings of insults with bad language calling her a bitch, a cunt, and other things. It was extremely ugly.

Worst of all it is unprovoked. This isn’t the first time it has happened. The first time the teen-mom called my daughter some horrible names. Clara made a remark that the girl should be taking care of her child and not getting drunk and high. From there on it was war, and unfortunately on of my daughter’s best friends took the low road, rather than the high road.

But the influence of the group are too strong for some kids. Their brains can’t realize the damage of their actions until sometimes years later.

Clara has never been influenced much by groups. When she is crossed she locks and blocks out offenders. Then she moves on. There are always others kids out there she can hang with.

As a parent I find it deeply saddening about what has happened.

I asked Clara what she would do now. She’ll see her friend at school. The answer was that she would be civil but she would not talk to her. And that was the end of it.

My child is unforgiving and cold when she feels the situation calls for it. That isn’t always a bad thing. It isn’t always a good thing, but it is what it is.

Life lessons are learned each day.

By the way, I am not saying that all young mothers are like this one. They aren’t. We all know that.

I’d like to say the break up of the friendship and my daughter’s reaction, and her friend’s reaction isn’t a good thing or a bad thing – just a thing. Unfortunately this one isn’t a good thing. Unfortunately this sort of thing is going to happen again. I just hope my child is never part of something this low, mean, and crass.

If it happens in your life, talk to your child about it. It is OK to move on and not brood over it. Just move on. The person who bullies should be the only one who gets hurt, because she only hurts herself.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

5 thoughts on “When a friendship fails

  1. It is unfortunate but your daughter handled it very well! I think the fact she has you for a Mom had a lot to do with it. The relationship you have with her and the support you give to her has taught her well. Give one another a high five! 🙂

  2. I’ve been bullied big time in school. Over and over again… first in primary school, later in Junior High.
    Until that one day I exploded and slapped the leader of the gang across the face.
    It would have been too much to say it got better from one day to the next.. but within the next week’s it definitely improved…
    This was my way of earning respect and not permitting everyone to use me as a doormat.
    I deeply admire your daughter for her strength…


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