Most Vampires get paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. Oh forget the blood taking and seductive ways that helped romanticize us.
You know what I’m talking about. Even the most confident of us feels that way more than we would like.
We jealously guard our own versions of our memories.
Something taken away.
Something given.
Something found.
Something lost.
It is that sense of loss and identity that finds so many climbing into crypts or under floorboards to sleep forever.
It is that inability to know there are others and that there is something to look forward to. Things change but not for better or worse – just different. Hell, things usually change for the better if you want them to be better. If you make them better. I didn’t say it was easy. It isn’t anything you’ll find in a self-help book. There aren’t self-help books for Vampires. There aren’t self-help books for most things that really matter.
Reaching inside where your old soul used to be and pulling up your new self isn’t easy. Your old self is still there – you will never lose that. You will always be yourself – like it or not. But you can change. You can become better. You can refurbish your old self.
You can shine like the full moon on a clear winter night.
Where you miss the warmth of your skin you will find coolness of nerves.
Where you miss those who grew old you will treasure the memories.
Where you miss the innocence of your existence you will find something else.
You aren’t a monster or an outcast – you are just different. Everyone is different. Accept it.
You’ll taste blood, but you’ll give back contentment in your donors – or give nightmares – it is your choice. Nice. You never had that choice before.
You’ll learn how to get blood stains out of anything.
Change or lack of change are both things we want and something that we fear.
Nobody said any of this was going to be easy. Then again, nobody said it wasn’t going to be exciting and wonderful.
Contentment isn’t just something for a few. It is something we can all strive for. Content but still moving forward, never forgetting where we have been or where we are going.
The other day I spoke to my friend Cody who has been a Vampire for almost four years. He never asked for it but he accepted the changes in his life. There will be hardships ahead along with triumphs. He didn’t struggle like some do. He has had a lot of questions and questioned a lot of things. He has learned.
But he told me, “You know that old expression about a door closing and a window opening? The roof came off for me. I can see the whole world of possibilities now. Anything is possible as long as I keep reminding myself of that.”
Yes, Cody, anything is possible.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
This was first posted in March 2015. I’m still trying to figure out what to do on Saturday now that my 50 Burning Questions series is over. Here you go: Best of Juliette.
Vampire Maman 