Tangled Tales – Now Over 200 Short Stories

Short Stories from Vampire Maman

A good portion of the posts on Vampiremaman.com read like short stories, but the list here is of stand alone stories that don’t necessarily follow the tales of Juliette’s life with her husband, kids and assorted Vampire Mom adventures.

Expect the unexpected … and a lot of fun! Click on the title to go to the story.

You’ll find Vampire, parenting, Gothic romance, horror, humor, urban fantasy, science fiction, odd ditties, literary fiction, and other unique and unexpected tangled tales. This isn’t the complete list but it will keep you busy for a while. Keep checking back for more.

* Guest authors  

  1. Dancing on the Beach
  2. Morning in the Vineyard
  3. When You Grow Old
  4. A Man Should Have What He Wants
  5. Ode to a Greek God
  6. The Alley
  7. Off to See the Wizard
  8. Baker Beach
  9. The Necklace (My Christmas Necklace)
  10. The Travelers
  11. Captain Sandy and the Airship at the End of the World
  12. Perfection
  13. The Shadow of Fire
  14. Robert and the Key *
  15. Dark Politics
  16. Romance of the Needles
  17. Heart Shaped Box*
  18. Stumped
  19. The Child
  20. Night at the Crest
  21. Dawn of the Undead
  22. Sunday School
  23. The Time Travelers
  24. I’ll Return to You
  25. Star Crossed Wars
  26. My Vampire Lover
  27. No End in Sight
  28. Tell Tail Heart
  29. The Hunter
  30. The Bully
  31. Slut
  32. I’ll Take Care of You
  33. Cold
  34. Prisoner of Love
  35. Christmas Orphans (a random short tale)
  36. The List
  37. A Head of the Game
  38. The Box in Dave’s Basement
  39. Tall Tales
  40. Fallen
  41. Back into the Past
  42. Pixie Dust
  43. Welcome to Hell (a bit of Science Fiction)
  44. Male Bonding (A Vampire Story)
  45. Everything Will Be Alright
  46. Magnolia
  47. Saturday Afternoon
  48. Almost Perfect in Every Way
  49. Up or Down
  50. Uncle Jerry’s Time Machine
  51. That Which Remains
  52. First Sight
  53. Springtime
  54. The Changeling
  55. The Rally
  56. Yes, it is complicated, almost as much as A Unicorn, A Squirrel, and A Possum Go Into a Bar
  57. Earthquake
  58. Coffee and a Crypt
  59. Nowhere in Time
  60. A Werewolf’s Train to Nowhere
  61. Curse of Bloke Island
  62. Dead or Alive (a Vampire Romance)
  63. Conversion
  64. You Gotta Believe
  65. A Ray of Hope
  66. True Friends
  67. Stranger No More
  68. The Time Travelers
  69. A Change of Heart
  70. Captured Bride
  71. Rare Peace
  72. Finally Home
  73. A Drive with Marilyn
  74. Cold Hands, Warm Heart
  75. Sunday Morning Coffee
  76. Giving Blood
  77. 2020
  78. One of Those Days
  79. A Mysterious Stranger on a Hot Dry Day
  80. A Mystery
  81. Charade*
  82. Checkmate*
  83. Sunset and Ginger Ale*
  84. Under the Stars
  85. For the Kids
  86. Indecision
  87. We will be happy
  88. Blow Up
  89. Community
  90. Desert Sky
  91. Dog Park
  92. Fairies
  93. Don’t Fall Apart On Me Baby
  94. Dawn of the Undead
  95. You Gotta Believe
  96. The List
  97. Hollow Heads
  98. Springtime
  99. Earthquake
  100. Mail Order House
  101. Krampus Clause
  102. Heal Thyself
  103. Fall Garden
  104. Lucky Me
  105. Gasoline and Tiger Maple (don’t mix)
  106. Warlock Woods
  107. Sunday Coffee
  108. College Daze
  109. Why I hate Valentine’s Day
  110. Mail Order House
  111. Boys Will Be Boys
  112. Mother’s Day
  113. No Weapon At All
  114. Cold
  115. Writing on the Wall
  116. Night Dogs
  117. Lizbit
  118. Smoke
  119. Dream a Little Dream
  120. Mere Mortal
  121. A Better Place
  122. For the Kids
  123. No Little Women
  124. Off to See the Wizard
  125. House by the Ocean
  126. Art
  127. Night Dogs
  128. Friends  Forever
  129. Green Man
  130. Donner Lake
  131. Chaos and Mistletoe
  132. Warmth
  133. Conversion
  134. Gather Around Little Vampires
  135. The Morning After
  136. Friends Forever
  137. Witching
  138. Being a Vampire
  139. Boys will be Boys
  140. Mother’s Day
  141. School Night
  142. The Rally
  143. Chloe’s Face
  144. Going Through With It
  145. Circles
  146. Beauty
  147. Gerald Atkins – Vampire Hunter
  148. Morcant and the Mermaid
  149. I’ve got your number –  an intergalatic romance
  150. Leaving Victor
  151. Raven and Dove
  152. A Ghost Story*
  153. Small Talk
  154. Noz*
  155. Last Call*
  156. Pandemic
  157. Permission to Mourn
  158. Old Bones
  159. Playing Dracula
  160. Driving Home With Superheroes
  161. May Your Days Be Foggy and Bite
  162. There Would Always Be Cats
  163. Brothers in Arms
  164. Peaches
  165. Shelter
  166. Shrine
  167. Unicorns Don’t Care
  168. The Morning After
  169. I Hate Valentine’s Day
  170. May Your Days be Foggy and Bite – OR – Hark the Herald Vampires Sing
  171. Witching
  172. Smoke
  173. None of His Concern
  174. Beauty
  175. Glass Dreams
  176. Face Your Demons
  177. Binge Watch
  178. The First Apocalypse, The Truth About Aliens, Missing Links, and Real Pandora’s Box, as Told by A Ghost
  179. Goji and the Angel*
  180. Chernobyl Charlie*
  181. Remains*
  182. The Last Time*
  183. The Changeling
  184. The Lives I Never Lived (aka Ophelia, Drowned aka A Preoccupation With Tragedy)*
  185. Radio Waves
  186. Ashes
  187. Bernie Showers in France*
  188. Holy Grail
  189. Not Going Anywhere
  190. Good Bones
  191. Food Supply
  192. Too Hot To Wear Black
  193. Intentions
  194. Juice Cleanse
  195. Cousin Rachael
  196. Play Date
  197. Completely
  198. The Cabin
  199. Chaos and Mistletoe
  200. A Christmas Message From Ambrose*
  201. Driving Home With Superheroes
  202. May Your Days Be Foggy and Bite
  203. Old St. Rick

Guest Posts:

I’m honored to share these fantastic stories and verse from others. These are so good. You’re in for a treat. You’ll thank me later.

  1. Chuck the Elf by David X. Hunter
  2. Robert and the Key  by Charlotte Kings
  3. Heart Shaped Box by Mandy White
  4. We’re Not So Different by Mandy White
  5. Beneath the Bed by Mandy White
  6. Just One Kiss by Mandy White
  7. Chernobyl Charlie by Mandy White
  8. Charade by Adelia Hoff
  9. The Lives I Never Lived (aka Ophelia, Drowned aka A Preoccupation With Tragedy) by Adelia Hoff  
  10. Checkmate by Dave Stone
  11. The Eagle Cried by Richard Turton
  12. A Ghost Story by Richard Turton
  13. The Last Time by Richard Turton
  14. Sunset and Ginger Ale by Jade M. Phillips
  15. Noz by Mike Cooley
  16. Last Call by R. James Turley
  17. Goji and the Angel by Diana Garcia
  18. Remains by Soleil Daniel
  19. Bernie Showers in France by Aurora Jean Alexander
  20. A Christmas Message From Ambrose by Amy Karian

Series:

Keep checking back on the left side bar of this blog for more updates or CLICK here. I have more short stories for December 2020 from me and from wonderful guest writers.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Juliette’s Book Club: Free Books for the Holidays and the Pandemic

A lot of us are staying in a lot more these these days due to the pandemic. Luckily we can always escape into a book or a short story. Winter is also here which means more curling up with a book while the storms blow outside. All of these books and short stories available for FREE but only for a short time so act fast.

Check out the listings below and get your copies before the offers run out! Links to the books are below the listings. Make sure you scroll down through all of the listings here. You might have seen some of these before, but I know you haven’t seen all of them.

You’ll find everything from heartwarming holiday tales, to horror, to mainstream fiction. There is something for everyone.

If you like anything you read please leave a review on Amazon.

The downloads listed below are free but most of these books are also available in paperback editions. If you happen to miss the FREE dates for digital downloads these books and stories aren’t expensive and well worth reading.

Goin’ Extinct Too – Apocalypse A Go-Go!

By WPaD

How could the world end? The possibilities are endless:
A global pandemic (obviously), aliens, evil politicians, zombies in one form or another, or even … rogue sex robots? (wait-what?) are just a few of the ideas we came up with.

WPaD’s second volume of apocalyptic tales will shock, entertain, and tug at your heart strings. A must-have for any fan of dystopian fiction.

When we began work on our second apocalyptic anthology in early 2019, long before the world had ever heard of COVID-19, we never would have dreamed that toilet paper and hand sanitizer would become symbols of the apocalypse.

The pandemic pushed our release to a later date than anticipated. We assumed readers had more important things on their minds and might not be in the mood for apocalyptic fiction at that time. The lockdown allowed our writers more time to write, resulting in a larger collection of stories than originally anticipated. The backdrop of the pandemic colored the mood of some of the pieces, as you will see. We think of this book as the Extra-Big Bonus Pandemic Edition, written in a reality stranger than fiction.

FREE Nov 30-Dec 4

USA

Canada

UK

Tinsel Tales: A Holiday Treasury

By WPaD

Experience the holidays through our eyes… the magic, the memories, some warm and some bittersweet… in this treasury of holiday-themed stories and poetry from the writers of WPaD.

FREE Nov 30-Dec 4

USA

Canada

UK

Tinsel Tales 2: Holiday Hootenanny

By WPaD

It’s a Holiday Hootenanny! In this anthology, you will find more than just Christmas stories. WPaD is proud to present our favorite fiction from holidays all year round, from Halloween to Arbor Day, ranging from sentimental to a bit on the dark side. An entertaining read for any season.

FREE Nov 30-Dec 4

USA

Canada

UK

Just One Kiss: A Short Story

By Mandy White

The day her brother tore his own head off and didn’t die was the day Johanna first suspected that all was not right with the world.
A teenage waitress and her sister find their world turned upside down when men start behaving strangely, trying to woo every woman they see, spouting lines from old romantic movies. But it isn’t all love and romance; the men have been infected by an alien virus that makes them tear off their own heads and implant alien eggs into women. All it takes is a single kiss…

FREE Nov 29-Dec 3

USA

Canada

UK

Halfborn

by Soleil Daniels

It should have been simple. Easy.

She had done it a thousand times. A flick of the pocketknife. A slice from the blade. A trickle of hot blood on her tongue. Filling her mouth. That is how it should have been.

Instinctually, it was both . . . Oh, so simple as she pounced on the man across the room from her . . . and unbelievably easy as her teeth sliced into the side of his neck.

But it was different.

Animalistic.

And that bite would change Coral’s life . . .

Forever.

Note: Halfborn is for mature readers only. It contains violent and sexual content. These are not vamps for the kiddos. They bite, kill, and do very adult and monstrous things.

Download it now!

Matriarch Series

by Kevin Ranson

Words Take Flight Books’ Cyberbook-Monday “Matriarch” Special
Need a new e-read to help you to de-stress through the holiday season? Words Take Flight Books is offering Cyber Monday specials on the Kindle editions of some of our best-selling titles, including Kevin Ranson’s “The Matriarch” – the five-star debut novel in his namesake “The Matriarch” vampire chronicles. But shop early – this Cyber Monday countdown deal starts at $0.99 at 7:00 am on November 30 until it reaches its normal price of $3.99 at 7:00 am on December 1. 

Find it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Matriarch-Vampires…/dp/B00CE2HE42

The Dark Side of the World:
A Short Story

By Mandy White

Humans evacuate a dying Earth to start over on a distant planet. When familiar social patterns emerge, it becomes clear that they have learned nothing.

FREE Nov 30-Dec 4

USA

Canada

UK

Exceptional Liars

By Marla Todd

Excerpt from “To Elizabeth With Love.”

This book was written as a love letter to my wife Elizabeth Hobbs Atkinson. She was brutally tortured and killed by a man who had once been my friend. Her body was never found, but her legacy of love will still be here.

From the day Liz vanished I prayed for her return and for hope. The day she was pronounced legally dead I lost all hope and thought I too would die. Only my faith in God and the love Liz and I shared kept me from going off into a black abyss of hopelessness and grief.

My comfort comes from my faith and my knowledge  that Liz is in a better place.

~ Gregory Atkinson

“Son of a bitch.”  I put down my glass of wine and threw the book across the room.

I’m surprised the bastard hasn’t been struck by lightning. What a crock of crap and lies. Any poetic justice of my situation had gone down the drain at that moment. Greg is walking and talking and writing bestselling books about me and about our marriage… and I’m still dead… saved by a serial killer, no less. God save me and have mercy on my soul and on that abusive lying son of a bitch Gregory Atkinson. May he rot in Hell. But he did get his wish. I am in a better place. A much better place.

_________

Alex Goldstein has a thriving law practice with his wife Tasha Alexander. Life is is good. Well, except for the fact that he drinks too much, and his wife regularly cheats on him. To keep his mind off of his problems Alex writes about by serial killers. His most recent obsession is The Killer of Virtue.

Liz Hobbs is born into a large family of sneaky manipulative children with an unhealthy fear of God only ranks second to the fear of their narcissistic parents. Unfortunately she falls in love with Greg Atkinson who is far more sneaky and manipulative than she could ever imagine.

After misreading the phone number of a women’s shelter Liz ends up in office of Alexander and Goldstein. Alex helps her build a new life as his own life falls apart.

Exceptional Liars is a roller coaster ride of a book – full of unexpected twists and turns, witty dialogue and interesting characters.

Exceptional Liars was written by my writing collaborator Marla Todd. 

As my friend author Mandy White said: I’ve read this book, and it’s a phenomenal story. It’s part drama, part thriller, part romance, and maybe a bit fantasy, for anyone who ever wanted to escape their life and start fresh. I highly recommend it. Read it!

FREE Nov 30-Dec 4

US

Happy reading! Stay safe. Wear a mask. Discover new authors. Be kind. Hug your kids. Check in on those who might need extra help and on those who are alone.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Short Story Sunday: The Cabin

Dad would walk ahead of us with the saw as we followed behind like troopers with the snow up to our knees. We’d been doing this since we were kids. It was a lot of work but always worth the effort, not so much in finding the perfect tree but in the time we spent together.

We were in search for the perfect tree. 

My brother Rod stopped and pointed. “What’s that? I’ve never seen it before.”

Through the woods was an old shack of a cabin.

“Let’s take a look,” said Dad.

The cabin looked as if nobody had been there in a century. The nails were square. The roof sagged. Dad and Rod pulled the door open.

Inside it was a time capsule into the 19thCentury. A table and four chairs were in front of a wood stove. A bed stood in the corner with a mattress covered with a red and green quilt. Jars of food canned years ago sat on the shelves in a small kitchen area. 

On the table was an envelope. I picked it up. On the front someone had written in a beautiful scrawling hand: If you are here read the note within.

I pulled out the paper and read aloud.

November 29, 1878

Welcome to the way station of the lost, the found, the curious, the tired, the cold, and the historians of time.

Make yourself comfortable. Take what you need. Leave what you don’t need. Leave extras if you have extra. 

I only ask you to leave this space with thoughts of love, hope, and good thoughts for other travelers who pass this way.

May many blessings come your way. 

TK

It looked as if this letter hand been read by many over the years. Others had left their comments on the back of the letter and on a second sheet of paper inside. 1880, 1897, 1906, 1918, 1920, 1937, 1943, 1972, 1999, 2001, and now 2020.

We took nothing, but left our initials and the date on the back of the letter. My dad pulled a extra pair of socks out of his pocket and left them there with a note saying wear these if your feet are cold or wet.

“When your grandkids are older you’ll have to bring them back here Dad,” I said.

“Yes, indeed,” Dad said.

As we closed the door and hiked off into the snow I looked back to see a man wave from the cabin. I almost called out then he waved back then vanished into the air as if he had never been there. Maybe it was just my imagination. I don’t know.

This year, with so much uncertainty treasure the mystery, the joy, the love, and the hope of the season. 

No matter where you are find your little cabin of peace and giving.  Believe.

~ end 

Cold Morning Coffee And A Ghost

My husband is rebuilding our lower deck.

That isn’t remarkable except for the fact that he is doing a beautiful job, and that the lower deck is where the Ghosts hang out.

On any given day I can see one of two of them standing out there looking out over the oak trees behind the house no doubt with hearts heavy with ghostly thoughts of what might have been. Or maybe they’re just enjoying the view in a spot where they know demons and excorcist alike are not welcome.

Most of them came to California during the California Gold Rush where they died along with their dreams of wealth and glory. Some of them just dreamed of getting away from the poverty, social restrictions, and other constraints of their former lives. They broke free from their own society only to die a few years later on the banks of the river a block from my home.

“I didn’t die here.”

Sitting across from me was Nigel, The Ghost. He takes my coffee cup in his semi transparent hand and slides it across the table, then takes in the aroma.

“There isn’t any blood in this cup is there?” Nigel asks me.

“No,” I say. “You would have smelled it. Why are you such an asshole?”

“I was just asking.”

“No you were being snarky because that is what Ghosts do.”

“Fine.” He put his face back in the cup, then looked up at me with his black eyes that suddenly turned to a bright hazel blue. He pushed his shaggy black hair out of his eyes and took a deep breath.

“My life was good before I died. It wasn’t always that way up until my foster family adopted me. Before then I didn’t know that you could put a turkey in the oven at home and cook it. I didn’t know that people could be nice to each other all the time. I didn’t know that some parents never went to prison, or passed out on the floor, or brought home boyfriends who’d try to… well, I just didn’t know. I suspected that there were other ways of living but it just seemed like fiction.”

He looked out the window then stood up and put his face close to the glass. “The deck looks good. Teddy is doing a great job. The Gold Rush Ghosts like to go up there and look at all of the tools. They’re kind of odd but I’ve gotten used to them. There is a big difference between someone who died in 1866 and someone who died in 1986. Did you realize that I would have been sixty one years old now? Sixty one. Six one. I bet my hair would be gray, or at least the temples might be white. A few weeks before I died I met a woman in an art gallery in San Francisco. We exchanged numbers. Had I lived we might be married now with a couple of kids going to college over Zoom. I left her a message, and she left me one. It was phone tag. Then it was Thanksgiving. Then I was murdered and I never saw her again. I don’t even know if she knew I died. I’m sure she must have if she followed the art world. She must have known.”

“What was her name,” I asked.

“I don’t remember. I was hit in the head so I don’t remember a lot of things. Or maybe it is just this ghost thing that scrambles my brain. I don’t know. Sometimes I just don’t know. Do Vampires forget their former lives?”

“Some do,” I answered, “but it is usually intentional.”

“I understand,” said Nigel. “You need to warm the coffee up. It’s cold.”

“I’ll warm it up and make another cup for me,” I told him.

I made coffee. The cats circled Nigel’s feet. I watched him as he sat thinking about his former life and the woman he’d met back in 1986. Before the water even got to a boil he faded away and vanished back into his Ghost world, or wherever he goes when he fades away.

I made more coffee and looked out on the deck. My kids are still here from Thanksgiving. We’re going to help Teddy put up the stairs today.

The morning is still cold, clear, and everyone is asleep.

Right now I’m looking out over the deck and there are no Ghosts. Only a lone squirrel sitting on the edge where a rail will eventually go.

December is almost here. I guess if you’re a Ghost it never changes, but then again, I’m not a Ghost, and they aren’t too open about giving answers.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Pandemics and the Fragility of Life

Update: A few minutes after I posted the entry below I saw this. This is what I was trying to say, only it is all too real. It is all too tragic. It didn’t need to happen. It could have been prevented is all of the assholes didn’t make EVERY FUCKING THING political. If you only have time to read one thing READ THIS. Click on the link below. https://www.yahoo.com/news/pictured-doctor-hugged-distraught-elderly-165815979.html

Pandemics and the Fragility of Life (with Ancient Vampires)

This morning my brother Val and I drove out to the farm by the river to check the Elders Eleora and Tellias.  They’re rather fragile as are many old folks so we need to make sure they’re ok. They also don’t always answer their phone, and always forget to charge their cell phone, and never check their messages.

Most people think they’re a young couple of maybe college students living in the huge Victorian Mansion in the middle of a pear orchard, but they are far from that. They’re ancient Vampires who have lived over two thousand years. Seriously, they’re that old. Hang out with them for a while. They’re old.

They greeted us with a song we didn’t recognize (neither the tune or the language) and danced around us then shared hugs and kisses. We didn’t worry about masks because, well, we’re all Vampires here.

Eleora was in a holiday mood with a red skirt and a green and silver sweater with an orange scarf. Her hair was clipped up with a bunch of fall leaves. She proclaimed that she was wearing both Thanksgiving and Christmas colors. Tellias wore black tuxedo pants, yellow flip flops, a purple and green Hawaiian shirt and an old white tuxedo jacket with tails that didn’t match the pants.

In the large kitchen they poured goblets of Poet’s blood and we caught up on all of the family news. 

“There have been many bad things to take out the warm blooded people,” Eleora said in an unexpected moment of serious clarity.

“So many pandemics,” said Tellias.

“It is a wonder any of them are still alive. Everything makes them sick,” said Eleora.

“Everything,” said Tellias.

Eleora wrinkled up her nose. “Everything. They used to be so extremely dirty. When one of them was turned into a Vampire it would even be more disgusting.”

“The fifth caused them to be sick. That is one of the main reasons we never turned anyone who had bad personal hygiene. We knew the value of cleanliness. It isn’t next to godliness, it is just common sense,” said Tellias.

“Oh the ones who let blood drip from their chins. They were beyond disgusting and downright embarrassing.”

“They didn’t last long, did they my dear?”

“Not long at all. They’d just vanish,” said Eleora.

“Vanish,” said Tellias.

“Poof,” said Eleora opening her fingers in the air and wiggling them around in a poofing motion.

Tellias smiled. “Just like that. Poof.”

Val and I just smiled. We knew what “poof” meant.

Tellias gave both of us a serious look. “When was the last time either one of you turned anyone into a Vampire?” 

Val glanced at me but didn’t speak first.

“It has been a while,” I said. 

“Eleora and I have noticed that during bad times, so many want to become Vampires. They have no idea what that even entails,” said Tellias.

“Most of them die,” said Eleora. “If they’re sick, well, I wouldn’t even try.”

“It isn’t a cure, just a quicker death.”

My brother and I already knew that all too well. 

Tellias sat down and mentioned for the rest of to do the same. “What is so sad is that, as always, the rulers, politicians, or whatever you want to call them do nothing but cause problems. They don’t care about their people. They just want to be in charge. On a selfish note I have always complained that they want to mess with our food supply. On a humanitarian note, because we are human, they are vile immoral creatures.”

He filled our glasses again then we let him continue. “Nobody in our government is doing anything for the doctors, nurses, and others working in the hospitals. These people are not only working with the dying, they are often the last ones there. Families and friends can’t say goodbye. The doctors and nurses are the last ones to give comfort and hear the last thoughts and watch as their souls go off alone.”

“So alone,” said Eleora.

“It is a hard burden to carry. Some say an honor, but it is a burden to the heart and to the soul. The damage… you can see it on their faces. You can hear it in their voices. If you stand next to them you can feel it.”

“You can feel it,” said Eleora.

“The deniers and those who insist on filling churches and going to parties and scream of their rights should be forced to see the doctors and nurses who hold those taking their last breaths. They should be forced to wrap up the bodies and take them away. They should be made to call the families. I have seen this all too often over the centuries. But now, there is no excuse. We aren’t living in the dirt, unable to read or write, or think for ourselves. People choose not to think for themselves.”

Val shook his head. “How fucked up is that?” 

“Extremely,” said Eleora. “I don’t think I have ever heard you use bad language in front of me before Val.”

“I believe you’re right my dear,” said Tellias.

“Sorry,” said Val.

“Don’t be,” said Eleora. “I might be old and silly but I have seen things that most people could never imagined.”

Over two thousand years worth of things we can’t imagineI thought.

Before we left I promised to bring my grown kids over before they left to go back to Southern California. Val told them he’d come back and stay for a few days. 

We’re Vampires, not Ghouls. We’re not politicians, or preachers, or anti-vaxxers. We want everyone to be healthy and live their best lives. 

So stay safe. Wear a mask. Hug your kids. Don’t be a dick. Be kind. And check in on those who might be alone or need extra help. Do the right thing. Think. Listen. Don’t expect miracles, but don’t add to the problems. 

Oh, by the way, December is almost here so come back for some feel good holiday cheer and Christmas related posts EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some are old favorites, but there will also be a lot of new posts for 2020.

See you soon,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman 

Our First Feast

“I doubt if our parents care what we do, or anything about us at this point,” my brother Val told me. It was November of 1878. I had just turned nineteen and he was twenty. They’d moved to San Francisco, leaving us behind in Sacramento. The house they’d left for us was like a rabbit warren of rooms. Our brother Aaron, aged twenty five, was married and living a mile away in his own brand new Italianate mansion (where he still lives). The eldest two (Max and Andy) had long moved on and were now in San Francisco setting up their glorious careers.

They’d sold the big house we’d grown up in, which burned down as soon as we’d cleared out. I often wondered about that, considering we had been a large family of Vampires and didn’t always do things the same was as everyone else. Our (mine and Val’s) house was built in 1869 with a lot of rooms with no purpose and tall stairs from the sidewalk up to the front door in case it flooded. We had a front porch, a back yard with a few rose bushes, and not much else. It was plain and un-charming.

Val and I were determined to give this house charm. We decorated our modest home with used furnishings and a lot of green and cream colored paint.

After that we decided to do what most young people would do and have a party.

“Should it be all Vampires?” I had to ask.

Val shrugged, “No. We can invite others. We will have to warn our fanged friends to keep to themselves and only drink from bottles we planned to keep well hidden in our kitchen.

I told him not to invite all ladies and he started to argue with me.

“NO,” I said. “You are not going to turn my home into your own personal whore house.”

My brother looked at me as if I’d slapped him in the face. “I would never,” he said. “Never.”

I held my shoulders back and my head high. “Valentine, I will never judge you or be like some warm blooded prude, but I expect a certain amount of modesty and decorum from you.”

“Fine. I will allow you to see my guest list, as I expect you to show me your guest list.”

“Agreed,” I said. “What about food?”

“We need food?”

“Of course we do.”

“We don’t cook. We hardly eat. We don’t have domestics.”

“We could hire a cook,” I said.

“We could.”

“Where would we find one?”

“We could put out a post. Cook wanted for fashionable party. Or we could find Constantine. He knows everyone.”

“And he is always fashionable.”

Constantine was both a Vampire and extremely fashionable but he had just jumped on a train to travel east, then take a boat to Europe to buy art. So we put up our flyer and waited. Soon a small man named Orlando George St. Cloud came to our door. He said he had cooked for the royalty of Europe, the Emperors of China, and the highest of Sacramento high society. We didn’t really believe him but we hired him on the spot.

The night of our party Mr. St. Cloud fixed:

Stewed Eel

Filet of Sturgeon with brown butter and tarragon

Curried Crawdads with spinach

Roasted Capon with creamed trout sauce

Roasted potatoes

Rat tail soup

Onion and walnut tart

Fried chicken feet with olives

Orange milk pudding

Apple pie

Fried frog legs with smoked trout and fiddle head fern sauce.

Roast beef

Head cheese

Blood pudding

Wild lettuce salad

Tomales Bay Oysters on the half shell

Fried eggs with wild mushrooms and boiled wheat berries

Pears poached in wine and honey

Toast points with river clams and fresh butter

Meatballs with wild dill made with ingredients of unknown origin. 

Marrow bones with sage and sherry sauce.

We also managed to acquire copious amounts of alcohol.

Fifty four guests arrived. Nobody went hungry. Twenty were female. Thirty four were male. Twelve, including Val and I were Vampires.

Of course the party was a success. Val did not sleep alone. I watched the sunrise with a dozen people in my garden before going inside, drawing the curtains and sleeping for the next two days. Mr. St. Cloud brought in a crew to clean and lock up.

For the next thirty years Mr. St. Cloud cooked for us when we needed it. He also taught us to cook. He told us, “One day I shall be gone and you will be at a loss.”

I learned to cook everything except the rat tail soup. I never cared for eel. Many of the dishes made me sick but I learned to cook them anyway. Eventually Val also learned to cook, and he even attended classes. We both became experts in cooking for Vampires such as us. We don’t live on blood alone.

From then on Val and I have both welcomed guests of a wide variety to our homes to celebrate friendship and love.

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and welcome in the holiday season (which started on Halloween.)

Cheers to all,

Juliette aka Vampire Maman