Tangled Tales: Conversation With A Dragon

Conversation With A Dragon

“Druce my friend, as you know I live a quiet life. I don’t bother anyone. I don’t make any noise. I’m happy when I can just collect my shiny things, fly around a little, and help anyone who needs assistance keeping the home fires burning. Needless to say it was a surprise to me when young women and even a few young men would be dropped off here begging for my help.” 

“What kind of help?”

“Most of them were being forced into marriages with people they didn’t love, or professions they had no talent for. Some just wanted to get out of abusive situations. Others were feeling trapped and wanted to see the world. Their stories were heartbreaking. I had to help.”

“What did you do. I mean how did you help?”

“I can fly. I took them away to someplace safe. I introduced them to people who could help them and befriend them. Some I took to larger cities where they could thrive and be creative.”

“So why are people so afraid of you. I don’t get it. You never did anything to them.” 

“They say I eat people. First of all I’m a Northern Green Scale Dragon. We’re herbivores for the most part. Even in the rare moments I do eat meat I wouldn’t eat a human. You’re just too scrawny and bony. Give me a bear or a huge elk buck, not a human.” 

“Who is the guy tied up in the corner? He looks pretty uncomfortable.” Druce glanced over at a young man with fear in his eyes.

“George. His name is George. He is right over there in the corner.“

“Interesting. I like the way you shoved a turnip in his mouth to shut him up.”

“He came looking for a girl who’d been dropped off. She was a princess and not liking the idea of being sold off, I mean married off, to the highest bidder. She used the word human brood mare, and arm candy or whatever. I don’t blame her for wanting to get away. She wasn’t afraid of me at all. I liked that. 

She said her father, King Ottoborious,  was blaming me for causing the crops to fail. The reasons the crops fail is due to incompetency on the part of the farmers, the use of old fields salted by the Romans. Plus they refuse to rotate crops and use new seed mixes. I can’t control weather patterns. WTF I’m a dragon. I don’t control the weather. I don’t control bugs. I don’t control anything but myself. People are so stupid.”

“I hear you on that one brother. So what are you going to do with George over there.”

“I’m not sure. He came here to kill me, all armored up on his horse with weapons. I knocked him off of the horse with my tail and laid him out flat. The horse ran off. Someone will find it and give it a good home.” 

“I could take George off of your hands if you like.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“What if he comes back?”

“If I can’t talk some sense into him I’ll put a spell on him, or sell him to the Vikings.”

“Good plan. He told me he deserved to have  her.”

“The Princess?”

“Yes. He said if he killed me he’d get to marry her. 

“Did she want to marry him?

“No, of course not. He isn’t her type.”

“How appalling.”

“That’s what I told him. Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Why aren’t you married Druce? I know you’re a Warlock, but I know you also love women. How come you never found one to settle down with?”

“The problem my friend is that I love ALL women. I could never narrow my affections down to just one.”

“I understand.”

“How about you? Any lady dragons in your life right now?”

The dragon snorted out some green smoke that vanished into a puff of heart shaped smoke rings.

“Her name is Catherine. Oh what a lovely dragon my love it. Shining green scales and eyes of gold. She is smart too. Oh so smart with a great sense of humor.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you. I’ll be leaving here next week to join her up north where nobody will bother us.” The dragon then looked towards George. “Hey numbskull, I guess if my friend Druce here doesn’t sell you to the Vikings you have my permission to tell everyone you killed me. But you know if you’re smart you won’t. Either way you aren’t getting the princess.”

The two friends talked into the night, ignoring the protests and grunting from George.

Over the next few centuries Druce and the dragon kept in touch and had many more interesting conversations. 

As for George…

Druce told him to keep his mouth shut and keep all thought of the time with the dragon out of his head. George made it back to the King with the news that he’d seen the dragon and that it was now gone. George was rewarded with a great treasure which he used to help others.

The princess went on find true love.  She met a silk and spice trader and they traveled the world together in love until their last day.

As he sat on his back deck with his morning coffee Druce thought about his friend the dragon and how sometime in the 8th or 9th Century they’d dealt with the man-child who is now known as St. George. He guessed it was all the smoke in the air from the Caldor fire that had crept down into the valley. Or maybe it was the fact that the woman who was still sleeping in his bed was named Cathy. A black and white cat was curled up in the deck chair next to him.

“What do you think George?” Druce asked his feline friend. The cat opened his green eyes then closed them shut again.

The dragon and his lady dragon Catherine were still together, as dragons mate for life, and living high in the desolate mountains where their only neighbors were bears and an occasional Sasquatch.

Over the years Druce had met Ms. Right, Miss Right Now, and Miss I’ve Got To Get Out Of Here RIGHT NOW.  Cathy was an old friend. Sure she was a Vampire, but at least she understood him. She knew what it was like to pass through centuries, and try to keep track of all of the memories. Was she Ms. Right? He reached over and scratched George on the head. The cat meowed and rolled over for a belly rub. Maybe. Maybe not. At least it wasn’t I hope not.

Druce smiled. Fires, pandemics, floods, unrest, and evil was always around the corner, but so was love. So was love.

~ end

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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