Back in the prime of my blog writing career I was writing about parenting, and Vampires. I’m still doing that but not with the frequency of that long gone era.
The children are grown. Even Vlad of Vlad’s Vampire Diary has adjusted to modern life and isn’t so confused. Nigel the Ghost isn’t as angry as he used to be due to talking it out with me over years. Yes Nigel, consider that therapy, and you owe me a big thank you Mr. Ghost.
Yet we all go on, and change, and … wait a second.
Nigel materialized across from me at my kitchen table. Rather than giving me his usual sneer he encouraged the cat to knock my coffee cup off of the table. Yes, not only can your pets see ghosts, but they will listen to them too. Since both Ghosts and cats are assholes shit will happen.
As I cleaned up the mess I asked, “Why’d you do that?”
“Do what?” Then he smiled. I imagine when he was alive that he used his charm for getting away with all sorts of silly and messy pranks. I also imagine he did those pranks just to amuse himself.
“Do you need something Nigel, or did you just show up to annoy me?”
“A bit of both,” he answered.
“What do you need?”
“A favor. Look upon it as a science experiment.”
That didn’t sound good.
“What do you mean by science experiment?” I asked.
“Well, my dear Juliette, Vampire of my heart…” he said before I cut him off.
“What do you want?”
“I need a body. Specifically a 63 year old male body, in good condition. Preferably he’ll be in good shape and good looking.”
“Alive or dead?”
“Alive. I want you to put him into a trance so that I may inhabit him for a bit.”
“I’m 63, or would have been 63 if I hadn’t been murdered when I was 26. I want to know what it feels like to be 63.”
“Where am I going to find a 63 year old man?”
“Easy. They’re all over the place. Hollywood and the music business are full of guys born in 1959 who haven’t turned 64 yet.”
“We’re not in Southern California.”
“True, but they’re still all over the place. What if I found someone and you made it possible for me to get inside of him.”
“It would be a violation on the most personal level.”
He rolled his eyes. “Like drinking blood out of someone isn’t a violation on the most personal level?”
“It isn’t the same,” I said. As soon as those words left my mouth I knew it sounded stupid. “I’ll think about it Nigel.
“Don’t think about it too long,” he said. “Find me someone before Friday or you’ll never drink hot coffee again. That includes warm coffee and iced coffee.”
“It will be fun, for both of us. It isn’t like I’d be inside of this guy for more than an hour or two.”
Part of me was appalled, but part of me was intrigued. It could be fun.
I’ll let you know.
In the meantime I need send texts to my grown kids, and feed the hungry cat. If you know a good looking 63 year old guy let me know.
Stay safe everyone. Be kind. Support the arts. Hug your pets. Talk to your kids. And kiss a Vampire (you’ll thank me for it later.)
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
I enjoyed reading your blog post, especially with the humor you used in telling the story. Nigel’s request to occupy a 63-year-old body is quite interesting, but have you considered the ethical implications and potential risks of such meddling with someone’s consciousness?
Thank you for dropping by. I’m glad you enjoyed this. Considering his best friend is a Vampire, I don’t think Nigel cares. He goes way back on this blog bothering me with insults and requests. But yes, I have thought of the ethical implications and the violation involved, not to mention the whole mind-F issue. Uncomfortable? Yes. Does it happen? That is yet to be determined.