Bliss

She came to my chamber in the dark of the night. I tried to shun her. I tried to block out her light. It was too easy to be seduced by her. She was like the sun bringing life and joy. She wrapped her limbs around me making me forget everything, making me want no knowledge or experience outside of her embrace. I willingly became her servant when she sank her teeth into me. She broke my will and made me blindly follow. I was happy to follow. All my worries were gone. I had no longer had the desire for a will of my own. Any fear of sin melted as we enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh and emptied my mind of anything that could interfere with her wishes and desires. I gladly closed my eyes and ears for the easy way out and the mindless carnal knowledge of Bliss.

 

From the lost letters of St. John

 

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I feel hot.

Knock knock knocking upon my door.

At least once a week, if not more, I stop by the home of Tellias and Eleora. They’re two ancient ancient Vampires – over 2,000 years old. Sometime they need help. They forget things. They lose their keys on a regular basis and do all sorts of foolish things (in my opinion.) A few days ago I’d stopped by to drop off a few things I’d picked up for them at Costco. Yes, even Vampires need stuff from Costco from time to time.

They both came out onto the front porch of their Queen Anne style home, on their farm by the river. Tellias wore his white blonde hair around his shoulders. He had on a yellow tee-shirt with the logo of Purrrfect Cat Grooming on the back. He wore green and red plaid pants made from some sort of fiber that didn’t exist in nature and yellow flip flops. Eleora had her long brown curls flowing down her back. She wore an old pink wool sweater with a purple and black Sacramento Kings shirt underneath, all over a flowing pink skirt that came right below her knees and no shoes.

Vampires can see in the dark, but these two still look like they DID get dressed in the dark. I don’t know how they do it. Oh, and for those of you who are new here… they look like they are only about 19 or 20 years old. That really throws people off.

So they greeted me and we had a nice little conversation.

Tellias: Two nice young men on bicycles came by today.

Me: Oh no.

Eleora: They were very nice. On bicycles right out there in the rain.

Tellias: Imagine our surprise.

Eleora: They were so wet.

Tellias: So very very wet.

Eleora: Very wet indeed.

Tellias: We let them put the bicycles out on the back of the veranda.

Eleora: All the way around back. That is why you don’t see those bicycles.

Tellias: Because the bicycles are around back.

Me: Are they still here?

Tellias: Of course.

Eleora: They were so cold.

Tellias: They were tired so we convinced them to stay.

Me: How long have they been here?

Tellias: They came in the morning. We were having coffee. They don’t drink coffee.

Eleora: No they don’t. How odd of them.

Tellias: Yes, odd.

Me (now wanting to scream): Where are they?

Tellias: One is upstairs sleeping. Like I said, they were tired. Oh so tired.

Eleora: The other is in the parlor. He has been telling me bible stories, but you know they have their own version. He said they never left their families and lived in South America and had lost their tribe until an angel gave them directions. Moses could have used better directions, taking all of those poor people through the desert all those years.

Tellias: Most people have their own version but I was there. I was in Rome when it all went down. I was an eyewitness and I guarantee you that everyone has it wrong wrong wrong. I was there Juliette.

I’d heard his story 1,000 times. I went down to the parlor to find a nice young man in a white shirt and black pants sitting by the fire.

Eleora danced behind me trying twirling and humming some sort of weird indistinguishable song.

The young man stood up and smiled. What a nice looking young man to end up in a house full of crazy ass Vampires. He held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Jared. “

Eleora giggled. “He is from St. George, Utah but he assures me there are no dragons there.” Then she flopped in a chair, giggled a bit, then turned serious. “I was telling Jared about when I was a child that there was no Christmas. The people in the next village over were fond of sacrificing people and the odd animal but we didn’t do that. No no no. We were not like that. We didn’t kill our food. No we didn’t. Then bit-by-bit things changed and we started to have Christmas with bright stars and good tidings and all of that. I used to have a blood red dress with a huge bustle. Remember that Juliette? We had a party and burned a bonfire on a boat out in the river. Oh Jared you would have been impressed. It was lovely. Then we all came in and danced until the sun came up.”

I looked at Jared and tried to force a smile without fangs. “St. George. You’re by Zion. It’s beautiful country.”

I chatted a bit with Jared. Tellias and Eleora started to sing Deck the Halls and danced off through the hallway to the back of the house.

I turned back to Jared. “Eleora and Tellias said you’ve been here all day. How weird has it been?”

“They’re different,” said Jared. “They look my age but they seem a lot older.”

“How old are you Jared?” I had to ask.

“Nineteen. I don’t mean to sound rude but are they on LSD or something?”

“No Jared, they aren’t. Do you and your companion need a ride back into town?” It was almost 8:00 and I was sure their handlers would be wondering where they were.

Tellias came back humming. Holy crap. All Around the Watch Tower. “Jared are you familiar with Jimmy Hendrix?”

Jared said no. Tellias started to give him an education and pulled out some records. Yes, vinyl. My dear Tellias has an impressive stereo system and thousands of albums so I knew it would be a long night.

The second young man came down the stairs looking a bit sleepy and rubbing his neck. He had flaming red hair and bright blue eyes. I’m sure there was a nice girl waiting for him back in Idaho. His name was Caleb, a good biblical name.

I gently took Tellias by the hand and led him to the kitchen for a chat. “You can’t keep these boys here.”

“I have the deepest respect for their convictions and their willingness to have doors slammed in their faces for their faith or cause or whatever it is they do.” Tellias all but snapped it out at me.

“You’re leading them on.”

“Juliette, they’re young and away from home.”

“Exactly. And you’re a Vampire.”

“Your point being?” He furrowed his pretty brow.

“I’m giving your bicycle boys a ride home. I have the truck. They can throw their bikes in the back.”

“There is nothing wrong with being a Vampire. I’ve quite enjoyed it.”

“I know that but…”

“You’re a Vampire.”

I snapped. “Don’t. We’re not going to turn them or convert them or bring them into our fold. You are not going to take any more blood from them today than you already have. Do you understand?”

Tellias rolled his eyes to mock me and put his hands on his hips. “You don’t have any problems when we keep the CHP officers overnight.”

“They’re adults. For God’s sake Tellias these boys are on a mission to save your soul or something along those lines.”

“You’re never any fun.”

“I’m leaving now. With the boys.”

“NO FUN AT ALL.”

At that point I was done with him, but I can’t be done with him. I’ll never be done because I’m the one who makes sure everything is always alright. “Tellias, I’ll be by this weekend to help you with your Christmas tree.”

Tellias put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. “I do love you my dear, like my own child.”

“I am fun.”

“More fun than any Vampire I know.”

I can only say that I hope he is right, but I know he isn’t. But I try. I really do try.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Religion and Ramblings

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Religion and Ramblings of a Vampire Maman

Oh ye of little faith… or a lot. I don’t care either way.

In my daughter’s high school about a quarter of the kids are Mormon. Another quarter are Catholic. The next quarter go to the big Presbyterian Church. A handful go to the Jewish synagogue, a few go to the other big box holy roller church, and the rest are just kind of on their own, or nothing. There are a lot more nothings than atheists. Then there are the tiny groups who are Muslim and Buddhists and other faiths.

According to my child the Mormon kids don’t try to convert the 3/4 who are Catholic or Presbyterian. They go for the others.

I bring this up because last night we saw The Book of Mormon. It was great. If you have a chance go see it.

I need to write a disclaimer that we love our Mormon friends and respect their choices. We are not haters. We don’t care about your faith of choice as long as it works for you and you aren’t hurting anyone (including yourself). Nuff said.

OK there are a few exceptions of weird ass groups that have no more business calling themselves a religion. As we passed one of their buildings downtown last night one of my companions said, “the are so evil.”

Your religion is your own, just keep it out of the schools and out of politics. That is why we’re in America. Don’t forget it.

And then there are the Vampires. At the high school there are exactly a dozen right now. For kicks and grins thrown in the four Werewolf kids at the school. This school has a huge population of paranormal types. We tend to try to stick together. It just makes things easier for the kids to have someone like themselves in their classes. Hey, it isn’t like they’re going to talk to the other kids about their unique biology and spiritual issues.

I was talking to my friend Marla who occasionally helps me with this blog. She explained some of the inspiration for her latest book Exceptional Liars.

I had a conversation with a friend about some of the families at the church we went to when we were growing up. It was one of the big churches everyone belonged to. It was one, and still is, one of the hubs of the community. My parents weren’t all that involved, which was fine with me.

But there were families where church and religion was the center of the universe. Their priorities were: 1. church/god, 2. Marriage, 3. Dad’s job, 4. Church society, 5. Children. Unfortunately five seemed to be a distant number. These parents bragged about how God and marriage came before everything else. Even as a teenager I knew that was wrong.

Their children were usually popular, good in school, involved with church activities, and they were the first to sneak off to smoke pot or make out in the back of a car. They knew more about sex, drugs and not getting caught at anything than other teenagers. When the kids were caught misbehaving punishment was swift, often including banishment. Obedience to God, church and parents was paramount. Fortunately for most of these kid they never did get caught. 

My book started out with a weak main character. She was sensitive and naive, but that wasn’t any fun. Why not make her the kind of nasty, clannish, resentful, sneaky kid that came out of these families in real life.

I added narcissistic parents, incestuous and violent siblings, an abusive Christian marriage counselor husband, a serial killer, a couple of slick and twisted layers, a crazy former DEA agent, the abused roller skating ex-husband of a pop-star, a hit man turned divorce lawyer, a guitar maker, and the bisexual wife of a senator who just wanted to be left alone.

Religion is scattered throughout the book, but it isn’t a religious book. But the characters, at least two of them, do what works for them.”

 

I like books with religious references. I think it adds mystery and interest to books if it isn’t preachy or “Sunday schoolish,” or overly sentimental with a forced unrealistic message. Religion and faith also adds conflict and interest for the characters. Two of my favorites are The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco and The Di Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Both stories wound religion into mystery and intrigue. It was fun to figure out the clues and see the conflicting views of the characters.

Movies have comedic, romantic, and chilling takes on the subject. My favorites (and most highly recommended are Elmer Gantry, The Devil’s Disciple (the play or the movie), Night of the Hunter, and Heaven Knows Mr. Allison.

In my line of work, I know those who have come face-to-face with Lucky (the Devil) and had run ins with both angels and demons.

I know Vampires who fight with their own inner demons about the state of their souls and their own jacked up immortality. They sit quietly, in the backs of churches, or quietly walk in cemeteries looking for comfort, or answers to questions that have gone unanswered for centuries. Sometimes they’re just looking for a bit of redemption. Or sometimes they just go for the music.

Vampires rarely pray, not knowing who might be on the other end waiting, or listening in. We’re always on the outside when it comes to religion. But most of us are content in knowing our own hearts, even if those hearts don’t beat as often or as loud as those of the rest of the population.

We are spiritual because we live among the spirits, good or bad.

And as you already know, Vampires are big on holidays. We do love our holidays.

As a parent I teach my children to be good and good to others. There is no use in judging those who are not like us, if they’re good people. We all must find our own peace. Some will never find peace even though they spend half of their life inside of a cathedral surrounded by icons and commandments.

I find my peace in the woods. When I’m in an art museum I see the power of what it means to be alive, even in a Vampire sort of way.

As Matthew (6.6) said, “When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray.”

I’m not religious but I now my verses. I take what I need and leave the rest, like most Vampires, at least those who think about these things.

Anyway, I’m starting to ramble.

Peace be with you. Wishing you beauty and joy, and the cool quiet of the shadows.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Exceptional Liars will be free on Amazon through March 20. CLICK here for the link. If you like it leave a nice review.

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