What we’re talking about over coffee this morning.

Coffee with Vampires

Even during the holidays we try to keep daylight hours, more or less, but I sometimes have that pull of my nocturnal biology and don’t sleep. I don’t sleep anyway. Most Vampires sleep like the dead (duh) but, well, good for them.

In the wee hours of the morning of December 28, 2016, just past midnight, my house shook with the force of an earthquake. Then it shook again.

At first Teddy thought it was the dog scratching and yelled at her. I told him it was no dog. Outside of Hawthorne, Nevada, close to the California/Nevada border the earth shook not once, but twice, at 5.8 and 5.6. It was enough for us to feel it 160 miles away (as the crow flies.)

Everyone else fell asleep but I kept awake. I feel like I’m still awake. I have coffee.

This morning it was quiet, despite the crowd staying at my house. Almost everyone was asleep this morning, just before the sun came up, so I took the dog for a walk. It was cold and wet but that can’t stop a one year old German Shepard. The nose of a dog knows no limits to what it can smell. When I got home I found my brother Max in my kitchen.

He’d come in late last night. Now he was leaning against the island counter with his eyes closed and his headphones on. He was as still as stone with no obvious signs of life. I walked up to him and gently took the headphones out. I listened. Strumbellas We Don’t Know. It was fitting for Max but a surprise.

Max opened his eyes and smiled a rare dazzling Vampire smile.

“Morning. Your coffee is getting cold,” I said handing him his cup.

“Thanks.”

“Do you think your demons will be gone today?”

He shrugged. “It might take a while.”

Over the holidays Demons had infested his home in San Francisco. He went to a party and when he came back they were there tearing the place up. Like just about everything else in this universe of ours they are attracted to Max and just can’t seem to stay away. He tried to take care of the problem himself but ended up with a black gash on his arm, and a major headache. He had to call a professional and move out for a few days.

Our great great great great Grandmama Lola came in, also staying for a few days (because the kids are on break) and made tea. She has been nervous since the election and all of the right-wing religious talk. Unlike Max and I who have had relatively safe lives, all things considering, Lola has not. She is ancient and has seen those she loved strapped to poles and burned alive. She has seen our kind torn apart and beheaded for no other reason that the fact they were different.

Lola warns us and my children again that they must stay quiet and trust no one. Of course. She is right.

“Not just us, but others as well. Do not forget the lessons of history, or those of your elders,” she tells the younger generation.

I hear my kids upstairs laughing now. Garrett has that joyful sort of horse laugh that so many young men have. Clara’s laugh is deep and rich, but still the laugh of a typical teenage girl.

Lola doesn’t look much older than my two but her eyes show the centuries. Sometimes it is the same look one finds in war zones and refugee camps. It is that look that politicians and religious leaders can’t see from their high pulpits – it is a look they close their own eyes to.

But now I’m starting to sound like a schlockie Vampire novel, or something from Oprah’s Book Club. Actually, take that back, I’d love to be in Oprah’s Book Club, as an author.

My brother Val showed up, then my husband Teddy came downstairs so it was a regular party.  So much for binge watching Twilight Zone, Botched, and Leah Remini in a quiet house (where nobody knows what I’m doing.) Insomnia got me through West World, and Worst Cooks in America. I found the other three this week by accident because I just did, and I couldn’t sleep, and my brain turned off for writing, or art, or anything else.

The discussion over coffee and tea included:

  • “The Curse of Oak Island” is the fact that they aren’t going to ever find anything.
  • A guy I know is going to audition for “America’s Got Talent.”
  • We were all impressed by the movie, “Hell or High Water.”
  • Juliette only read a few books in 2016, and that is a shame. And in 2017 we’re all going to read, “The Stranger” by Albert Camus, some for the first time, and some of us again.

Just like any other family we talk about movies, silly TV stuff, and books when we get together. That is something most of us can agree on.

We also talked in length about Max’s Demon problem. I swear there must be a portal near his house, or it must be him. I think they’re attracted to him because they see him as such a powerful Vampire. He says that isn’t the case. He says we’re all powerful in our own ways, then tries to be the good uncle and tells the kids that. Val and Lola went off into a corner to discuss his new girlfriend. Teddy gave me a kiss and went off to work.

Tonight Teddy and I are going to the Kings game. It will be my first time in the new Golden 1 Arena. Woo Hoo. We’ll go to Magnolia’s (a blood bar) for dinner first. Woo Hoo. Yes, that is the Sacramento Kings (just like my name) Basketball. Woo Hoo.

Football does nothing for me but I like Baseball and Basketball. Go Kings. Go Giants. My other sport is Artistic Roller Skating. Woo Hoo.

More on all of THAT later this year.

I sat by Lola and Val, and took Lola’s hand. I wanted to tell her that it will all be alright but I said nothing, and listened to Val tell about the girl he is falling in love with.

Happy New Year again everyone.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Lola

Lola

 

 

Why you’re morbidly (and passionately) attracted to Vampires

What is the fascination with Vampires?

Disclaimer: I used the word MORBID in the post title because it sounded creepy and fun. No other reason.

Warnings: If you despise the idea of Vampires, people who like the idea of Vampires, Werewolves and all sorts of paranormal, supernatural, things that go bump in the night and flapping bats, ghosts, elves and cocktails then you might want to go read something else, like the stock reports or the back of your laundry detergent box.

People like to be scared

grossoutRemember when you were a kid sitting around the campfire listening to the stories about the man with the golden arm or the guy with the hook arm or random ghost stories? Then you graduated to your first Stephen King novel and now you can’t look at a clown without wanting to scream? And we love watching those Paranormal Activity Movies even though they are so stupid that we’re laughing at the same time we’re jumping out of our skin scared. A cracked closet door at night contains more than just party dresses… a footstep at night is more than just the cat padding up the stairs…it is the unknown thing that lurks in the deepest darkest corners of our imaginations…it is fear and we love it.

And face it, Vampires can be pretty scary. They can immobilize you with their minds, seduce you, suck your blood and kill you. And they can turn you into a Vampire if they so desire. They’re called undead, like a ghost with a body (not really but that is the mythology.) Plus bad Vampires are really really really hard to kill.

Now, when you’re scared you either become a quivering mass of emotional jelly, or you get an intense adrenaline rush. So being scared turns from something bad into something really fun.

So your assignment for tonight is to get a flashlight, a blanket, turn off the lights, put the blanket over your head, turn on the flashlight and read Poe’s “The Tell Tale Heart”. Now THAT will creep you out.

Plus without the sense of fear the squirrels would have eaten humans a long time ago. OK, I’m sure the badgers, wolves and bears would have helped out a little, but you know what I mean.

Vampires are Forbidden

If you’re a Regular Human your mom and dad won’t want you to be dating a Vampire. They’re weird, cold and suck your blood. They aren’t like you. But you like the Vampire anyway and think your parents are dorks.  I think that explains the forbidden part of this post.

You like the idea of Power

ignoranceVampires, while hidden, are powerful. They can be immoral, putting aside their souls or thought of others. But they are purposeful and smart. They move in the shadows using seduction (that sex thing again) and power to get what they desire. They are hunters, one of the few beings that are on top of the food chain, above humans. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be there. I love my veggies too but…you have to admit there is nothing like getting your fangs into someone and feeling that surge of energy. What a rush. A rush that no drug can duplicate.

Immortality

No physical aging, more or less. Who wouldn’t like that? On the other hand there are things one might miss out on, like knee replacements…I doubt if there is any of that anyone would miss out on. Plus the almost complete lack of illness, not worrying about elderly parents, the ability to do things over again and again and again…and boredom that could last for centuries if you don’t play your cards right.

Man’s Triumph Over Evil

carrieOh just blame it on the Vampire. Go ahead.

My opinion on this one is that humans must overcome their own evil and look at themselves, not with rose-colored glasses and not with fear. They must put aside their political, religious and cultural biases and stand against evil. When one stands against evil one must not fear it but take it by the neck and strangle it out.

OK to translate that bit of writing I just penned: Evil is violence and hate for the purpose of control and spreading ignorance. Evil hides behind a false mask of religion, power and goodness – so listen carefully when you hear the voice of evil it sounds like the song of an angel. Evil will also tell lies to turn you against good. Pickup any history book and you’ll find hundreds, even thousands of examples. To translate again – don’t believe everything you hear. Being a skeptic could one day save your life. Just read “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” You’ll know what I’m talking about.

In order to explain away evil people, humans have used creatures such as Vampires, Werewolves and Ghosts as metaphors for such bad behavior.

A long time ago, way before CSI, way before Jack the Ripper, before Dracula and before The Bridges of Madison County (sorry, I had to get that in there HA HA HA), humans had a difficult time explaining extreme horrible events such as serial killers. No human could cause such violence. No human could kill/torture/rape in the middle of the night unless…unless it wasn’t human. It couldn’t be human. Well, wake up and smell the warm mead, it wasn’t a Werewolf, back in 835 AD it was Weird Uncle Bill who carved weird little wooden rats and lived with his mom in her mud hut, that is until he killed her and started dressing in her clothes. In 1343 it was charming handsome Sir Albert who was luring all of those woman away to the swamp where he’d do horrible things to them. Or in 1890 the beloved Rev. Donald Green posed as a good man of God, when in truth he was a Godless man, using the local river banks as a dump for the tortured bodies of lost souls who’d come through his soup kitchen.

But wouldn’t it be easier to believe it was a blood sucking creature of the night or a man turned into a wolf who did all the killing?

And just like serial killers fascinate us, we’re fascinated with all inhuman creatures that act in the place of bad humans.

On the other hand, one never knows if it could have been a rogue Vampire or Werewolf. We just don’t know. Well, some of us know…

My husband has always been fascinated with serial killers (and he finds them horrible.) He even has some new theories on the Zodiac. Then again, we live in Northern California a place that seems to be the epicenter of weird killers. Yuck.

Of course a small circle of Vampires, who just happened to be in London in the 1880’s know exactly who Jack the Ripper was.

Yes, Vampires are dangerous to please be cautious. Vampires will suck out your blood. Vampires will lie to you. Vampires will trick you. Vampires will break your heart. Vampires can, if provoked, suck out your soul and rip your throat out. Vampires are not to be taken lightly. And despite what you’ve learned from my blog there are some evil Vampires out there that you don’t want to mess with.

Vampires are Fun!

As you can see by my posts that Vampires usually have more fun than a bathtub full of otters. It doesn’t take much to amuse a Vampire (or piss us off, but we’ve got that under control, at least most of us)

The Romance of Vampires

romanceDrum roll please. Or should it be violins? This is the number one reason why people currently like Vampires. And don’t we all need a little romance in our lives.

Every other post on this blog has to do with romance. The others involve parenting (Vampire teens), poetry and cats. The most popular posts on this Vampire blog are about writing love letters. If you look at most (not all) but most modern Vampire books it is all about dark forbidden romance.

Blame that on Braham Stoker when he introduced Dracula to the general public but since then writers have been creating more sexy Vampires than I could have ever imagined. And they’re right. I can’t even start to list all of the authors (so I won’t right now).

Vampires do the most personal thing someone could ever do – they drink your blood. Your life force that comes from your warm and beating heart. Vampires NEED you in order to survive. It is that intimate physical connection, in the shadows, the forbidden desire, the kiss of cool lips on your neck, the whisper of a voice so young, yet so old… a voice that belongs to a creature who knows all of your hopes and fears…

If fall in love with a Vampire the choices are difficult. Do you go with him forever into the dark, or do you live forever with a broken heart and the knowledge of another world that so few humans ever experience? For the kiss of a Vampire is something no mortal ever forgets.

Imagine the most intense eyes looking into yours. The cool kiss, hot with passion. Every desire, every want, every need will be fulfilled by this creature of the night, a mystery, an unfulfilled promise waiting to be awakened, it is all yours. You feel the kiss on your neck followed by a scrape of fangs, then those fangs sink into your warm flesh, you want to pull away, but you can’t, you want to stay, you want to be consumed with the intense physical desires and the flood of emotions – fear, lust, desire, want, need, love. And that my dear is what happens when you meet up close and personal with a Vampire.

It is also that romance that lasts not for years, but for centuries.

Vampire Love Poem

I was a spirit

In white silk with pink roses

Bustle in back

You in black tails

Took my breath away

And a century later

When you realized

That I loved you

I could exhale.

`

red heart

And face it girls – Vampire guys are HOT.  They just are. I don’t even need to explain. Whew. Fan me off right now.

A Short List of Vampire Posts for Reference on Romance:

There are more posts on the subject…feel free to search around.

~

So to wrap things up…

Everyone should have fun, and who better to have fun with than a Vampire. Take my word for it. 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman.

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

This is not a scientific study. Keep in mind the POV (point of view) of this odd little semi-popular blog. Chime in if you want. There are many myths, many truths, many theories about Vampire and their cohorts. I mean, really, would you come HERE for a real scientific study? Really? But please feel free to share your stories and your reason for being fascinated with Vampires. Remarks from haters and priggishly toned know-it-alls will be promptly removed (let’s keep this fun folks)