As We Shelter In Place

Why is it that those of us who’ve written apocalyptic fiction are the ones who take apocalyptic fact the most seriously? It seems that way doesn’t it?

I told that to a writer friend of mine tonight. She was frustrated by all the stupid people who won’t stay in place and insist on doing stupid risky things. I’m frustrated by it all as well as baffled.

Like most of my friends and family we have been keeping to ourselves. That means keeping a limit on the news.

Never the less we keep hearing of people flaunting warnings. We see people on the beach and out at large social gatherings. We see politicians thinking that nobody should stay home. We hear preachers aka conmen saying they can protect their flocks. We hear of them believing conspiracy theories and other insanely stupid shit they hear from their usual stupid and insane sources. What the fuck is going on in Florida?

Tell those who think they are safe “It is not about you.” It is about all of us. It is about those who are at risk – which is ALL OF US.

This isn’t the flu. This is more like the plague. But it isn’t the plague. It is something that is it’s own pandemic.

Look up the word exponentially. That is what the the coronavirus COVID-19 does – it grows exponentially.

Whenever you have exponential growth, whatever it is that’s growing will double its presence/population in a given amount of time. Let’s say you start with a population that has just one infected person on January 1st, and the number of infected people doubles every three days. 

Here is a link to an article that will explain this more. Please have any nonbelievers you know read it. https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2020/03/17/why-exponential-growth-is-so-scary-for-the-covid-19-coronavirus/#7725ac144e9b OR just CLICK HERE.

To all of my friends who are still working in the medical field, in grocery, drug, and hardware stories, to first responders, police, and all of are keeping the rest of us going: THANK YOU.

For everyone who has had to close their business or stop working and is now sheltering in place THANK YOU.

You know what you need to do. Do it. I want to be seeing you hear in the future. I want to keep reading your blogs. I want to know you are alright.

Keep writing / blogging both fact, fiction, and that wonderful something in-between. Just keep the facts when writing about COVID-19.

Keep entertaining us with your work because god knows we all need a good laugh now. Share your art, music, and cat pictures. Share, share, share.

As a final thought PLEASE keep in touch with your friends and family, especially those who are fragile or might need extra help. We don’t want to lose anyone.

Sending out love and common sense to all,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Angry Vampire Rules to Live By

Angry Vampire Rules to Live By

  • Don’t be an asshole, even if you’re a Werewolf.
  • Everyone has a right to their opinion even if you don’t agree.
  • Don’t leave your kids for a piece of ass. You may think it is love, but it is a piece of ass.
  • Don’t lie about your child’s other parent to get your way.
  • If you’re going to cheat on someone who loves you break up with them first.
  • Don’t bait people with your political bull shit.
  • Don’t lie.
  • Don’t pick favorites with your kids.
  • Don’t bring strange men home until your kids grow up.
  • Buck up and be a parent.
  • Don’t tell someone getting over a death to deal with it, or that they’ll meet somebody new, or that the departed was needed by God to be someplace else. Just shut the fuck up and be there for them.
  • Don’t act stupid.
  • If someone posts something on social media that you don’t agree with just pass on it. Don’t comment. You aren’t going to change their mind. You’re just going to make them unfriend you – and make all of their real friends mad at you.
  • Don’t be a troll or a jerk in online groups.
  • Don’t be a troll or a jerk period.
  • Stop getting all butt hurt over everything. Being a fucking prima donna isn’t flattering for anyone (especially when you’re an adult male.)
  • Be nice.
  • Make Twilight references on the Twilight fan page – not here. We’re not fans of perverted old Vampires dating High School girls.  THIS (click HERE) is where you go for that stuff. 
  • Wearing clothing that is too tight will not make you look sexy. It will make you look like a sausage.
  • Read. Something. Anything. Just read.
  • Don’t make excuses for what you read. If you want to read romance, or horror, or technical gardening manuals then DO IT. You don’t have to answer to anyone.
  • Believe in yourself. I know that is hard with everyone in the world telling you not to, but screw them. Believe in you. If you’re reading this I BELIEVE IN YOU. Do it.
  • Tell toxic people to either seek professional help, or tell them to go to Hell. Or tell them nothing and stop talking to them. You don’t need them. They are toxic.
  • If someone tells you that they blog about goats, or rabbits, or Vampires, or Chinese myths, please don’t say, “I don’t really like goats, or rabbits, or Vampires, or Chinese myths.” Just say, “WOW, that is really cool.”
  • History isn’t about dead people. It is about what makes us alive today.
  • Don’t be rude to the help.
  • Don’t expect Vampires to go around with blood dripping from their chins. Seriously, who the Hell does that?
  • Vampires can go out during the day. Get over it.
  • NEVER wear black stockings with open toed shoes. Seriously. Don’t do it.
  • You don’t have to show off your boobs to everyone. Let me say that in another way… you don’t have to show off your tits to everyone. Sometimes it is ok to wear a shirt that covers a little more. Sometimes that is the sexy choice.
  • Nobody gives a shit what your wedding dress looks like. They’re all checking out the level of awfulness in the bridesmaid dresses you picked out.
  • Cats are assholes but you MUST still love them and protect them.
  • Don’t tease animals.
  • Don’t be that asshole at the dog park who tells other dog owners that their is something wrong with their dogs, when everyone knows your dog is the jerk. The same applies to parents of human kids.
  • Your child is not the center of MY universe. Get over it.
  • You don’t have to answer the phone every time it rings.
  • Don’t talk to me about religion or politics.
  • Never brush anyone off or discount their worth because of their age. Young or old – everyone has value, and their words, opinions, and talents have worth.
  • Don’t say shit about the state I live in. I’m in California. Nuff said. I love it. I’m here for the long haul. Get over it. If you like where you live I’m happy for you. Seriously. Stop hating on me.
  • We’re Vampires, not flesh rotting Zombies. We’re not rotting. Get over it.
  • Watch out for Goblins.
  • Be there for your kids.
  • Talk to your kids.
  • Talk with your kids.
  • Listen to your children.
  • Don’t judge your teens.
  • Listen to your teens.
  • I’m going to say it again – Listen to your teens. Don’t judge them. Hear what they have to say. Hug them. Be there for them. Don’t discount their opinions or dreams.
  • Tread lightly near angry Vampire moms.

Feel free to share your angry rules in the comments below. If you troll anyone (including me) I’ll remove the comment. Or leave cute comments about your cats or dogs. That will work too.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Love Your Poll Workers Tomorrow

I should have called this post: YOUR RIGHT FOR A FREE AND FAIR ELECTION.

Tomorrow is voting day.

Tomorrow Clara (my 17 year old) and I are going to be working as poll workers. This will be a great experience for my daughter. She isn’t old enough to vote but she will be part of the process. The three others people we’re working with are from a variety of backgrounds but all are there for the right reasons – they believe strongly in YOUR RIGHT FOR A FREE AND FAIR ELECTION.

And they’re cool people. I’m happy to work with them again.

When you vote please REMEMBER:

Poll workers are not the ones who make the rules. They follow the rules set down by their county and State (or Parish if you are in Louisiana.)

Poll workers are there because they believe in YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE.

Please do not be snarky or rude to poll workers. It isn’t funny.

When you give the poll worker the name of a dead person, your neighbor, or anything that is not your name just makes you look like a bully. Maybe you are a bully. Maybe you don’t give a shit. Well, you should give a shit.

As a poll worker I can’t give you any opinions. I can only smile, sign you in, give you your ballot, and assist you by explaining how to vote.

I will make sure your vote is private. I will make sure your vote is counted. I will make sure nobody bothers you when you vote. I will make sure nobody prevents you from voting once you arrive. I will give you a smile. I will treat you with respect. 

Yes, no matter how you vote, or how much of an asshole you are, I will treat you with respect. I will be polite. I will respect your right to vote in a free and fair election. 

We will be there from 6 am – 10 pm. It makes for a long day because it is worth it.

Despite what I’ve said, most people who come in to vote are nice.

So is you haven’t already mailed in your ballot, please get out tomorrow and vote.

And maybe, if you aren’t too angry about the election, tell your local poll workers THANK YOU for their time.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman