Burning Question #38: Rule Breakers

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What fresh Hell is this? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Saturday is here – Time For Burning Question #38.

This whole Burning Question thing came out of an afternoon with sports playing on the Tee Vee and somebody asking “Is a hotdog a sandwich?” I say NO. A lot of people said yes (really?) Then I decided, against my better judgement, to have 50 BURNING QUESTIONS. SO here we go on #38.

  • Some people are rule followers.
  • Some people don’t follow the rules.
  • Some people are in prison. Some aren’t.
  • The laws of nature seem pretty solid unless…certain events change them, but maybe not.
  • Philosophy is confusing.
  • Physics is confusing.
  • Motion and momentum are connected.
  • Do you follow the exact rules when you play Monopoly. If you answer YES you’re a LIAR. Nobody follows the rules exactly.

But, but, but… some rules can’t be broken. Ever. Never.

Or is there an exception? Or is it just laws that are meant to be broken?

Of course we all know that hearts can be, and will be broken. Is that a rule? Feel free to discuss it below.

Burning Question #38: Is there an exception to every rule?

Read this carefully. Is there an exception to EVERY rule? Not just some but EVERY rule.

 

I posted this for no reason. I just thought it was stupid and funny. This blog has no rules therefore there are no rules to be broken.

I have nothing else to say on this matter. Did it make your head spin? Discuss this below. Or discuss whatever you want. Do you have your Christmas lights up yet? Do you have a dog? Do you make biscuits from scratch or from a can? Are you wondering what Vlad the Vampire King doing for the holidays? Let me know. Share. Please.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Angry Vampire Rules to Live By

Angry Vampire Rules to Live By

  • Don’t be an asshole, even if you’re a Werewolf.
  • Everyone has a right to their opinion even if you don’t agree.
  • Don’t leave your kids for a piece of ass. You may think it is love, but it is a piece of ass.
  • Don’t lie about your child’s other parent to get your way.
  • If you’re going to cheat on someone who loves you break up with them first.
  • Don’t bait people with your political bull shit.
  • Don’t lie.
  • Don’t pick favorites with your kids.
  • Don’t bring strange men home until your kids grow up.
  • Buck up and be a parent.
  • Don’t tell someone getting over a death to deal with it, or that they’ll meet somebody new, or that the departed was needed by God to be someplace else. Just shut the fuck up and be there for them.
  • Don’t act stupid.
  • If someone posts something on social media that you don’t agree with just pass on it. Don’t comment. You aren’t going to change their mind. You’re just going to make them unfriend you – and make all of their real friends mad at you.
  • Don’t be a troll or a jerk in online groups.
  • Don’t be a troll or a jerk period.
  • Stop getting all butt hurt over everything. Being a fucking prima donna isn’t flattering for anyone (especially when you’re an adult male.)
  • Be nice.
  • Make Twilight references on the Twilight fan page – not here. We’re not fans of perverted old Vampires dating High School girls.  THIS (click HERE) is where you go for that stuff. 
  • Wearing clothing that is too tight will not make you look sexy. It will make you look like a sausage.
  • Read. Something. Anything. Just read.
  • Don’t make excuses for what you read. If you want to read romance, or horror, or technical gardening manuals then DO IT. You don’t have to answer to anyone.
  • Believe in yourself. I know that is hard with everyone in the world telling you not to, but screw them. Believe in you. If you’re reading this I BELIEVE IN YOU. Do it.
  • Tell toxic people to either seek professional help, or tell them to go to Hell. Or tell them nothing and stop talking to them. You don’t need them. They are toxic.
  • If someone tells you that they blog about goats, or rabbits, or Vampires, or Chinese myths, please don’t say, “I don’t really like goats, or rabbits, or Vampires, or Chinese myths.” Just say, “WOW, that is really cool.”
  • History isn’t about dead people. It is about what makes us alive today.
  • Don’t be rude to the help.
  • Don’t expect Vampires to go around with blood dripping from their chins. Seriously, who the Hell does that?
  • Vampires can go out during the day. Get over it.
  • NEVER wear black stockings with open toed shoes. Seriously. Don’t do it.
  • You don’t have to show off your boobs to everyone. Let me say that in another way… you don’t have to show off your tits to everyone. Sometimes it is ok to wear a shirt that covers a little more. Sometimes that is the sexy choice.
  • Nobody gives a shit what your wedding dress looks like. They’re all checking out the level of awfulness in the bridesmaid dresses you picked out.
  • Cats are assholes but you MUST still love them and protect them.
  • Don’t tease animals.
  • Don’t be that asshole at the dog park who tells other dog owners that their is something wrong with their dogs, when everyone knows your dog is the jerk. The same applies to parents of human kids.
  • Your child is not the center of MY universe. Get over it.
  • You don’t have to answer the phone every time it rings.
  • Don’t talk to me about religion or politics.
  • Never brush anyone off or discount their worth because of their age. Young or old – everyone has value, and their words, opinions, and talents have worth.
  • Don’t say shit about the state I live in. I’m in California. Nuff said. I love it. I’m here for the long haul. Get over it. If you like where you live I’m happy for you. Seriously. Stop hating on me.
  • We’re Vampires, not flesh rotting Zombies. We’re not rotting. Get over it.
  • Watch out for Goblins.
  • Be there for your kids.
  • Talk to your kids.
  • Talk with your kids.
  • Listen to your children.
  • Don’t judge your teens.
  • Listen to your teens.
  • I’m going to say it again – Listen to your teens. Don’t judge them. Hear what they have to say. Hug them. Be there for them. Don’t discount their opinions or dreams.
  • Tread lightly near angry Vampire moms.

Feel free to share your angry rules in the comments below. If you troll anyone (including me) I’ll remove the comment. Or leave cute comments about your cats or dogs. That will work too.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Women in history, religion and stupid ignorant people (let me rant a bit.)

Before you read the rest of this I want you to know that I adore men. I absolutely adore them… most of them. They’re lovely creatures. They’re fun. They have hair on their bodies. They’re men.

The following post is a hostile rant about hostile and ignorant people so if you want to leave right now I’m cool with that. More Vampire and parenting stuff will come your way tomorrow. Maybe even some cats. Maybe even romance, but not today.

I usually don’t write posts like this. In fact I never cover religion (aside from death) or political thoughts. But today I am, just because I feel like it. I can just see my number of followers dropping at a rate faster than mosquitos dropping from DDT in the 1950’s. Don’t do it – don’t stop following me. I promise I’ll be back to fun stuff tomorrow. Just indulge me a little.

Also, this is not a well researched paper or Master’s thesis. It is just me spouting out.

After writing the Pandora post a few days ago I was thinking about all of those “the girl did it” creation stories and myths out there.

Then I thought about the story of Adam and Eve. Oh please don’t even try to get all Sunday School on me. We all know these stories are not literal (anymore than most of my blog posts that teach lessons in life.)

There are serious flaws in this story. Adam and Eve were told NOT to touch the apple/fruit because it held knowledge. Knowledge is power. Keep the people ignorant, as in keep the knowledge to yourself, and you will have all the power.

So you put the apple out there. Then a snake comes and says “EAT IT.” Come on, snakes don’t have lips. They can’t talk. Blame it all on the snakes because they don’t have legs. Blame it on the creature who is different. OK it wasn’t really a snake, it was some creepy pissed off ex-angel asshole pretending to be a snake but still.

So Eve bites the apple and she gains knowledge. She suddenly realizes that she is naked. But wait – that isn’t a bad thing. That means shoes and accessories and great dresses in her future. It’s a beautiful thing. The human body is a beautiful thing.

Yes, just blame everything on the women. If that is the case then why the Hell are men so violent? Why do they fear and repress women in so many cultures? Why do they consider women property? Why are women considered less than human? Why do men go to war and kill each other and each other’s children?

I am not an atheist by any stretch, but most stories of the “first people” are full of stupid holes that can’t make any sense to anyone with half a brain. It is all about control. One half of the population wanted to control the other half. They made up these stories a long time ago. Modern men, real modern men are beyond this sort of silly and dangerous stuff.

There are so many examples cautionary tales of women being told what NOT to do then they turn around and do it. Well screw that. Maybe if they’d let women do what they needed to do and learn what they needed to do the world would be a nicer place. I’d open the box. I’d eat the apple. I’d drag those gold tablets out from under the bed, I’d crack the code, I’d look in the closet, I’d do all of that.

I’m not that impulsive. I’m generally a serious rule follower. Most rules are based in common sense. But there must be a reason behind the rule. Don’t hold out a tasty orange carrot if you don’t want something to come along and eat it, especially if the carrot makes them strong and healthy.

A great source of violence comes from the fear of knowledge, the fear of curiosity, the fear of change and the fear of women. It is also about the fear of sex and ignorance of sex. Notice how religious zealots of all religions – the crazy ones – are obsessed with sex. It is sick. They’re sick. All they think about is sex and women having sex and gay sex and all sex. And the first thing they do when they get a chance is to do something nasty in secret and in a way that will hurt someone. It is a story as old as Adam and Eve and their stupid snake friend. Those who rant against sex and call it evil are so unhealthy. In fact, they can’t even imagine healthy sex because their minds are so sick and twisted and evil and perverted.

And why do people follow these nut jobs? Because they instill a sense of fear and reward people for embracing ignorance. And they punish people for seeking knowledge. They reward people who are too weak and frightened to have their own thoughts – but then again isn’t it easier to have someone think for you.

There is no reason to assume the “man” is the head of the household or even in charge. Why should he be? Why should he get all the ulcers… but that is a different post. Why not just be people regardless of what you look like under your pants? Does it really matter if you sit or stand. Does it matter if you give birth to a child or not? No it doesn’t matter – so why are some people so intent on fucking up our world in order to keep King Ignorance in power?

I wish I knew so I could fix it. But I don’t think it will ever be fixed because Ignorance is so easy and seductive. 

I always tell my kids not to be followers. You don’t have to be a leader but NEVER be a follower.

So what does this have to do with Vampires? Nothing. Vampires never embrace ignorance. That is why we love them so. I’ll get back to the Vampires tomorrow.

That’s all.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman