Halloween is Almost Here (more musings and random thoughts)

Halloween is almost here

Ghosts and Goblins yell and cheer,

Witches drink their Bat Eye Beer

Halloween is almost here.

 

halloween cat 3

 

At the crack of dawn this morning, actually about an hour before, I looked out on my deck to find two ghosts holding coffee mugs and savoring the first stirrings of the woodland creatures who live in my yard and behind my house (along with the sounds of fire truck sirens, trucks and a random dog bark or two.) I watched my translucent friends put their heads together in close conversation, occasionally laughing or using hand gestures.

These ghosts have discarded any old ideas of white sheets and hollow eyed wails. They leave that for others. Sure they can haunt the crap out of anyone and show their form in death (a rather violent image, especially for the one called Mary) but they usually choose not to.

He has pale skin and dark, almost black glossy hair that layers around his face. She has long reddish brown hair that she lets blow in the ghostly winds that most of us can’t feel.

If it was any other pair of ghosts I would have chased them off, but these two are mine. At least mine because they live in my space. I usually don’t like ghosts or anything without a body, but there are always exceptions.

I didn’t interfere with their reveries. I’d pick up the cups later. That is the empty cups they fill with their phantom coffee. I had other things on my mind.

Earlier my husband Teddy had come home with a scratch across his handsome face. Three scratches from fingernails to be exact and bites in various places.

He’d been called to see about a rare pocket watch a client of his was looking for. When he arrived at the old Victorian he discovered that the apartment was below street level (the original street level.)

The door was answered by a woman of shocking appearance. She was bloated like a dead thing that had been out in the sun. Her eyes were sunken and rimmed with pale pinkish red. Despite her bony frame the fashionable black dress she wore strained at the seams. White blonde hair tangled around her face. Blood caked around the corners of her mouth and on the cuticles of her fingernails.

He recognized her, barely. In 1934 he’d spent two weeks with her on Catalina Island. People thought she was a film star with her Jean Harlow looks and beautiful clothes. So much for happy memories.

She told him that now she fed on transients and outcasts who wouldn’t be missed. Rather than taking a pint or a quart here and there she sucked them dry. Nobody would miss them or care. It always looked like natural causes anyway. Then she’d sleep it off for a week or two and start again.

Teddy, being the man he is and a Vampire with a social conscience tried to tell her that what she was doing was not acceptable. Bad move Teddy. She attacked him, screeching that she never asked to be a Vampire. She didn’t choose that life. She had become isolated as those she preyed upon.

As she fled into the night  The young man who made the nicely decorated basement apartment at home was in a deep sleep. He wasn’t someone off the grid but someone who’d left his bedroom window open and a Vampire climbed in. Teddy had the decency to erase any bad memories the young man might have had. Then Teddy called a Vampire Hunter to take care of his old friend. Teddy didn’t have the stomach to do it himself.

We talked about it for a while and like so many things it just seemed sad. Too many things seem sad.

Halloween is almost here but we’re already up to our eyeballs in scary shit, including a school shooting scare and other stupid stuff.

But then again like all families we’re busy to the point where we can’t stop and even think about anything much. It is like this all the time. Halloween brings a flood of activity. A party at my house on Friday. A party on Saturday. A skate meet on Sunday. A dozen other things including school and work are squeezed in between. Then we start all over again.

But I’ll make it a point to stop and sip my coffee and watch the sunrise.  And tomorrow we’ll carve those pumpkins I’ve been gathering on my front porch!

 

Halloween is almost here

Werewolves howling is so near,

Zombie looking for his ear,

Halloween is almost here.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

halloween3

 

 

This little adventure was first posted here in 2014. I’ll be back with new stories and adventures shortly.  

Answers to Questions about Vampires

Answers to stupid questions regular folks ask about Vampires:

This is not my bed. I don't sleep in a box.

This is not my bed. I don’t sleep in a box.

No, bats don’t make good pets. They’ll die. Don’t do it.

No, we don’t tear people’s throats out. Think of the mess. And seriously do you rip the door off of your refrigerator every time you get something to eat? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

No, I don’t sleep in a coffin. I really want one of the Sleep Number beds.

Yes, we are sensitive to light. Thank you for asking and pass the sunscreen.

Yes, sometimes we do eat real food (we need fiber just like you).

Yes, we do have paranormal powers. No I won’t tell you about them.

Ask a Werewolf if you want to know about Werewolves.

No, garlic will not kill us. Now your breath… that is another issue.

No, a cross will not burn us.

Yes, fire can kill us. Fire can kill you too.

Yes, if you destroy my heart or cut off my head I’ll die. So will you.

Yes, this is a real Rolex. I purchased it new in 1959.

Yes, cat blood is pretty nasty.

Yes, we do hunt vegans.

No, being a vegan will cause a Vampire to go into a coma for a very long time.

Because you’d kill us.

No, we usually just make them think they did. That’s why people love us and have so many fantasies about us.

No, we can’t have biological children with a regular human.

No, less than 10% of humans turned into vampires survive more than a few weeks. Of that only 5% will make it. 90% die within an hour. Did that answer your questions?

We wear other colors. Not just black.

Yes, we do prefer red wine over white.

No, I won’t answer questions about THAT.

Yes, Werewolf blood does taste sort of like Bourbon.

Yes, we do get married to other Vampires. No we don’t marry regular people (not anymore, it never works out)

No we don’t marry Werewolves. What is wrong with you?

No, I will not show you my teeth.

 

Vampire Teen

These answers were first posted in 2012 back when this blog only had about five readers.  So to you, my five friends, forgive me for running this again.

Since then I’ve published many more posts with answers to your questions about Vampires. I’ll be reposting some of them PLUS NEW ANSWERS and answers to your questions about Vampire Children (this is a thinly veiled parenting blog.)

I you have any burning red hot questions  (or red cold) about Vampires please ask away. I’m here for you. That is why I’m writing this blog.

Have a good week everyone. Only 23 days until Halloween!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Damned Warlocks – Summer, Love, Dr. Who and Ancient Vampires

“Come now. Please come now,” said the quiet voice of the ancient Vampire on the end of the line.

Tellias had called. “What is it?” I asked knowing it could be anything. And I mean anything.

“I’m afraid I’m going to lose Eleora. She is slipping away.”

Elora his love of the past 2,000 or so years. My heart sank. My head spun. I grabbed my purse and drove through the orchards along the river to their farmhouse.

Tellias waited in the dusk on the front porch of the Queen Ann style Victorian. He wore a white Mexican wedding shirt and orange shorts in the summer heat. His long white blonde hair was pulled back. He didn’t look like that classic Vampire but who does these days? Nobody really.

“Where is she?” I asked as I bounded up the porch steps.

He took my hands in his long cool fingers. A look of panic came over his face. “He has come back for her. I know he has come back.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Dr. What.”

“Excuse me? You mean Dr. Who?”

“Who? That insufferable Warlock. Like Dr. What that character who keeps coming back reincarnated or whatever. The guy with the bow tie. I don’t know. I never watch the damn show.”

“Dr. Who.” I thought of the guy on that BBC show.

“What?” Tellias asked.

“His name is Dr. Who, not Dr. What. Dr. Who. The one who changes in a phone booth like Superman, only he isn’t… I don’t know what he is. I don’t know the show but I know who you’re talking about.”

“Oh. Well, no matter what they call him I don’t want him here.” Tellias started to raise his voice.

Well, now that we’re all throughly confused and my head is spinning more than normal. Abbot and Costello are done with their routine for now.

As ethereally handsome and beautiful Tellias is, Eleora is lovely in a way that any male of any kind easily falls in love with her. From John their handsome 60 something neighbor to Vampires to Werewolves and Warlocks and whatever… men tend to fall in love with the lovely and simple Eleora. Unfortunately Tellias lets it get the best of him. While I don’t think she has ever strayed I do believe there have been close calls.

Tellias brought me into the back parlor where Eleora and the Warlock sat under some large fans that once in a Caribbean plantation. The Warlock was stunning in the most fashionable of summer suits, sans the jacket, his silver hair thick and just brushing his shoulders. He looked all the bit of a leading man of the silver screen. Why are these guys always so damned good looking?

The Warlock looked at me with an intense disdain filled glare (Warlocks do that – another reason I dislike them.) “You’ve been under the weather Juliette. Odd for a Vampire. A little vertigo or perhaps…” I could hear a bit of old Welsh in his accent masked by the deep baritone of his voice.

“I’m fine.” I said. I am a bit under the weather with a mysterious head spinning but resent the invasion of my privacy.

“Are you fine? Are you really?”

I ignored him, least I tell him to shut the fuck up or rip his neck out.

I took a deep breath knowing that he is harmless. I know he has been a good friend to Eleora over the centuries. It is a friendship others of my kind (Vampires) have a difficult time understanding, like my friendships with humans and Werewolves.

That said, I wanted to tell him to go back to Halloween Town or wherever he’d come from. I could stand John, the neighbor who’d known the Eleora and Tellias since he was a child. John was a real friend. But the Warlock was a different kind of creature, one who morphed and lived like a lie for centuries, conjuring up new forms for his spirit to pass to. He always looked the same to me but yet different. I have to admit it really creeps me out. Yeah, I’m a Vampire but a lot of things creep me out, Warlocks being one of them.

My head spun for some unknown reason so I went upstairs to one of the lavish bedrooms and sank into a soft bed. I couldn’t stand, but I had to get up. I’m a mom. I have responsibilities. I take care of everyone. I have things to do. But I was suddenly suspended into a spinning world where I couldn’t see straight or stand without feeling as if I was going to fall. Maybe I just needed fresh blood. I don’t know what it was. But like I said, I’m the mom so this shouldn’t be happening.

I could hear them talking downstairs. I thought of when I was a child in this same room listening in on the adults talking downstairs. I’d hear things and store away the information into the drawers of my brain only to take them out later when needed. Some things are still jammed back behind those dusty drawers forgotten and lost, waiting to be taken out one day.

I heard the door opened and expected Tellias. It was the Warlock. I sat up, fangs ready.

“Stop. She was mine first. She was mine before he came from Rome.”

“She was never yours.” I said. “She was always his. It was set in time before you were ever born.” I don’t know why I said that. Maybe from being in the mindset of writing romance stories… anyway…

He just looked at me as if I was crazy or that I was right.  “You make me uneasy Warlock. Go away before I steal your soul and turn you into a husk of your former existence.” There again, I just spat out the words. I couldn’t wait to get home and tell my husband what I’d said.

He left and I slept for another five or six yours. In the meantime Tellias called my husband and the Warlock left.

Eleora danced around and sang as if nothing had happened out of the ordinary. I swear, she has become so simple minded that I’m surprised Tellias hasn’t gone insane. But then again, when one is in love for a long long long time those things don’t matter. You love the person you are with and the person you used to be with.

So shall we all start to countdown to Halloween? That is easy when almost every single day is Halloween.

I shall continue to rest with the sounds of the baseball games on the TV and the quiet snoring of my calico cat.

I’ll call Tellias later to see if he is alright. I know he is, for today he and his love are alone.

So anyway, yes, Halloween. It will be here soon. Get ready and please, be careful of witching kinds of folk.

Oh right, one more thing. For the best witching story read “Young Goodman Brown” by Nathaniel Hawthorne. It is a wonderful classic tale that will give you the creeps and the chills and make you smile because it is so beautifully written.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman