High School Horrors (Or Math is Eating My Parenting Brain)

As a parent I find it difficult not to ignore teachers my kids have problems with.

I’ve written about this before during my daughter’s utterly disastrous Freshman year in high school when she didn’t get the classes she should have had, one of her teachers was a total witch who hated her students (I wrote a post about it) and another had a mental health and drug problem and was never there. Those two classes were a total waste of time. I was so angry about it but I tried to keep out of it and let the child learn to take care of her own problems. Now I wish I would have gone up to school and showed my fangs.

This year, the Senior year, there is a mathematics teacher who punishes the ENTIRE class and every single class because one student cheated (among other things.) There was almost a mass exodus from the class – enough kids trying to get out that it caused the school principal to send a letter to all of the parents saying how the teachers want to help and she doesn’t know what the problem is.

Well, I’ll tell you what the problem is. In fact, I’ll tell you what the fuck the problem is.

  • The teacher has a bad attitude and assumes all kids want to cheat (according to the students.)
  • The teacher will not give tests back to the kids so they don’t know why they failed.
  • The teacher yells at the class because so many kids are failing. Maybe she should yell at herself. These are advanced students. They aren’t idiots. They are studying their 16-18 year old butts and brains off. But if they don’t know what they are or aren’t doing right or wrong they’re going to be in the dark. Being in the dark is great for a Vampire but not for a high school student.
  • The teacher seems flippant about her attitude about these students. For a lot of them this class could make or break what college they get into. But she doesn’t give a shit. Maybe she does give a shit – but she has to let the students know that. It will make a big difference if they know she really cares.
  • The teacher will give the students a little bit of credit for homework but they don’t know if they did their homework correctly because the answers aren’t checked. No shit. I kid you not.

So what is a parent to do?

I’ve asked the child to talk to the teacher. She says she is available at lunch. I keep telling the child to talk to her at lunch. I keep telling my child to step it up and see her teacher. Tell her what you need. Tell her you have a nice college student tutor. Tell her you don’t want to fail. Tell her you need her help. Tell her that you really don’t want to fail and need her help.

If that goes badly tomorrow then I will have to let DAD take care of it because I tend to use too many bad words.

At one time my dear old dad was a college professor. He said if his students were a success then he knew he was a success. He never understood teachers who didn’t care if their students failed. If your students fail then as a teacher you fail.

As you know, if you read this “parenting” blog, that I am not a helicopter parent. I’m not one of those women who is always up at the school driving the administration crazy with crazy requests. I tell my kids to fight their own battles. That is why they go to public school – to learn to fight battles of the brain and learn to play the game of life. But this time I can’t stand back.

Fangs out. I’m ready.

I’ll keep you posted.

I hate this.

Yes, when you’re a parent, sometimes it feels like it is always Halloween.

And to the rest of my child’s teachers – you are wonderful. I love you. You make me want to go back to school.

To the math teacher – chill, listen to your students, have faith in them, respect them, trust them, and be there for them. They’re great kids. They’re smart. They really are. They want to learn. Let them know that YOU want them to learn too.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Spooky Story Problems

Josh is a college student majoring in History at a top university. He is also a Vampire. At a recent party he took one half pint of blood from Brittany, a full pint of blood from Hank, a full pint from the Johnson twins, and 1/3 pint from Sarah. He went home with his crush Kylee who threw up all over his shoes. What are the odds of Josh getting a good paying job without going to graduate school?

_______________________

Bram Stoker wrote Dracula. He also managed a famous theater. If the theater had been haunted by 32 ghosts how many actors would be used for the production of Taming of the Shrew and how many vampires were in the book Dracula?

________________________

Doris walks 1.02 miles to high school. When it rains her mother drives her. One day her mom’s car wouldn’t start so Doris had to walk in the rain. What is the law of physics called that changed that 1.02 miles into 10 miles and changed the rain to snow?

________________________

If the average zombie eats 1.5 brains a day how long will it take for 23 zombies to eat all the brains in the US House of Representatives in Washington DC during a month with full attendance? Yes, this is a trick question.

________________________

After a life of moral decay and debauchery, Sir Helwig died at the age of 42. He was buried in the family crypt. After the Devil took his soul, a witch took his cold black heart, a vampire took his gold watch, a zombie took his brain and a werewolf took his leg bone. How long did it take for the worms to crawl in and out?

_________________________

Have fun! Answers are in the back of the book.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

spooky math

Parenting is like a story problem…

Sometimes parenting, and life in general, is like one of those story problems in math.

Joe is going to the lake. The lake is 134 miles away. Joe drives 60 mph, except on three 35 mph turns that are 120 feet each. Joe takes two 15-minute stops. How many waffles did Joe eat for breakfast?

 

tahoesub

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Story Problem – No problems here

Homework

A Play in One Act

 

Clara yells DAAAAAAAD. Dad runs up the stairs. Then they call for Mommmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Mom: What’s the problem? A giant spider?

Dad: No. If Nichole read 20 pages in 80 minutes how long does it take her to read each page.

Four minutes a page. That makes Nichole stupid.

Clara: Dad!

Mom: It depends on what Nichole is reading.

Clara: Never mind.

Mom: What type are they using? What size is the font?

Dad: Nichole is a slow reader.

Mom: It depends on what she is reading. Russian literature or a historic romance?

Dad: War and Peace would take a lot longer. That would be about an hour a page.

Mom: It depends. On the other hand Jane Austin is a little tricky.

Clara: I have it figured out just shut the door.

Mom: If she’s reading The Cat in The Hat she’ll race right through it but a good mystery…

Clara: Just shut my door will you.

 

The End – Curtain