The Fisherman

The Fisherman

A story from Adelia Hoff

There once was a fisherman who lived alone by the sea. One night he came across a beautiful woman dancing naked in the moonlight. When he called out, asking if she was alright as it was a very cold night, she swam away into the ocean. The fisherman saw her again and again after that, and every time he called out, asking if she was alright. It was only on the fifth time that he noticed the seal skin draped across a rock, and saw her run to it before swimming away.

There once was a fisherman who lived alone by the sea. One night, the beautiful woman’s skin was nowhere to be found, for she had danced too far down the beach from it. The fisherman saw this, and thought that the ocean would be very cold without it, so he carefully folded it in his arms and brought it to her. When she approached him to take it back, he asked if she was alright.

There once was a fisherman who lived with his family by the sea. Every day he and his wife would take their children out fishing, him in his boat and her in the waters below. When they would get back home, he would hang up his coat and she and the children would hang up their skins, and they would eat their dinner. They all loved each other very much, and when the moon was bright in the sky, they would all go dance together- clothed, of course. It was cold.


~ end


This is where I’d rather be RIGHT NOW.

For more stories from Adelia Hoff click on the links below.

Charade by Adelia Hoff

The Lives I Never Lived (aka Ophelia, Drowned aka A Preoccupation With Tragedy) by Adelia Hoff  


Ask Juliette: Pre-Halloween Vampire Edition

Welcome to Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire), a regular Thursday feature here at

If you have questions about anything – parenting, marriage, relationships, romance, Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, gardening, wine, paranormal stuff, life, work, or anything send your question to juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com (figure it out because I have to write it this way to keep the trolls away)


I never see Vampires so how do I know you’re real? You always write about going out to bars or events, but I never see anyone who look or acts like a Vampire. What gives?

I’ve never been the kind of Vampire who dresses like Lily Munster or Elvira. Seriously, can you imagine if I showed up at school dressed like that? My kids would never forgive me. Plus it just isn’t practical. I’m more of the little black dress and pearls type, or most days jeans and white button down shirt with some great vintage jewelry, or jeans and a hoodie, and of course flip flops. Vampires love their flip flops. Sorry to blow your bubble about the flowing dresses and impossible cleavage. And my finger nails are painted with a sort of sparkly pale pink polish – not red or black.

But seriously, if you had to go to the grocery store would you dress like someone out of the middle ages, or a porn film? It is the same for when Vampires shop for food. Or if you went fishing or hunting would you wear a tight black dress with everything you have spilling out? Of course not.

Wanna know a secret? We look just like you, only slightly better.


halloween cat 2


What are some fun Halloween movies that aren’t gory slasher films? I’m looking for something to help my family get into the orange and black holiday spirit.

This is my quick list:

  • Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
  • Corpse Bride (2003)
  • Bell, Book, and Candle (1958)
  • Shaun of the Dead (2004)
  • Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
  • The Innocents (1961)
  • Every Simpsons Halloween Show
  • The Addams Family (1991)
  • Phantom of the Opera (2004)
  • The Body Snatcher (1945)
  • Laura (1944) This movie has NOTHING to do with Halloween but Vincent Price is in it, it is hecka creepy, and a GREAT movie.
  • The Hitch-hiker (1953) A truly creepy movie directed by Ida Lupino

halloween cats

What do you give out on Halloween?

I’ve given beers to dads more than once. Once I ran out of candy and gave a kid a can of Diet Coke. I try to give out good stuff that kids like. This includes anything with Skittles or Chocolate.  Kids don’t want pretzels, canned corn, or pencils.

halloween cat 1

If you could sleep with any horror movie actor/character who would it be?

First of all I have to say that this is purely fantasy and I’m happily married.

It would be Mick St. John (played by Alex O’Loughlin) out of Moonlight (2007-2008). Damn he was sexy. You can now see Alex O’Laughlin on Hawaii Five O but it just isn’t the same. I have to admit that this is one of FEW Vampire shows/movies that I’ve ever liked.  Hey, Alex, take your shirt off again.



And Vincent Price.

I added this image of Vincent Price just because he is smoking HOT.

I added this image of Vincent Price just because he is smoking HOT.

And here he is again.


Come on, you have to admit there is more hotness in Vincent Price than just about anything anyone can think of.

And don’t even think of asking me about any real-life Vampires because I won’t answer THAT.


halloween cat 2


Didn’t you make ghosts out of Tweenkies one year? Would you share that again?

Yes I did. I won’t eat the damn things but I was in a pinch a few years ago when I was asked to bring something to a Halloween party. These were a big hit. All you do is get Tweenkies and decorate them with icing. Booooooo.




Alright, that was fun. And remember if you have ANY questions about anything, or just need information, and/or advice ASK JULIETTE. 


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman




Above the hearth – sounds of night

vm moon light night


I hear the clock behind me. It is a Seth Thomas from the 1870’s. So many of those are still running. I can’t imagine living without the sound of a clock and the strike of the chimes. Mine, a model called Atlanta, after the city, only strikes on the hour. It is a mantel clock but it sounds much larger. It sounds huge.

Above the hearth,

The clock lives,

No time to muse on the past,

Or years gone,

Because it is a sound,

That makes babies sleep,

And the mortal quiver,

The sound of night,

And lovers in the light

Of the moon through the window,

Listening to the clock,

The yips of coyotes,

A fan against the heat,

And their own hearts beating,

Then all is still,

As it is with Vampires,

And old clocks

That need to be wound,

And cared for,

Like love,

And memories,

That tick away,

Then come back around again,

And again and again.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Be Wilde! Happy Birthday Oscar!

  A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

~ Oscar Wilde

September 16 is the birthday of Oscar Wilde. In honor of Oscar…read, write a poem, be witty, be sharp, dress well, kiss someone, live with passion, laugh, love and do something wild.