Vampire Diary: Something I Do Understand

Dear Diary,

The cat has gone missing. I looked everywhere. Damn me to Hell I can hear or smell any prey but I cannot find a cat. My cat. The cat of the damned. My frustration increases by the hour. I haven’t given her a name. She has not told me what she wishes to be called. I don’t know how to call her.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Last night. A woman as beautiful and seductive as Helen of Troy held me in her embrace and let me into her trust. I drank her blood then sat as she slept and thought about my cat.

The woman woke and asked me why I looked so sad. I told her I’d lost my cat. She told me to put up a sign.

I didn’t understand. She smiled and called me a dumb blonde. I am so confused. I don’t understand modern women or why I have such feelings for a cat. I am not dumb.

I put up a sign then waited. The cat is still gone.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

The cat has not returned. I am not sure she has even seen the sign.

My neighbor told me the sign is cute. Everything is cute to people around here. I am cute. My cat is cute. The sign is cute. Children are cute. I do not understand all this cute.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Today I received an invitation to a black tie event. That means formal. I can do formal. I am the prince of formal. Nobody can do formal like a Vampire.

Everyone thinks a Vampire must be dark-haired and gaunt. I am fair and according to my neighbors I am also cute, hot and sexy. Is there a single word for all of this confusing flattery? I have learned to accept it, whatever it is.

The cat has not returned.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Tonight is the event. It is to make funds for a charity. An admirable cause for art. Art is one thing I do understand, or at least I can feel.

Since coming to this place far from my ancient home, I have found that there is much I do not understand. The most strange thing of all is that I am feeling emotions that have been dead since I was alive. Alive. That was centuries ago.

In the large closet I found the correct suit. Tonight I will be stunning. I will be seductive. I will be charming. I will be handsome. I will not be cute.

~ Vlad


Dear Diary,

Upon returning home tonight I found my home dark without joy. For many Vampires that would be a blessing. For me it was not. The cat was not there.

Despite an evening filled with success and conquest my heart remains cold and still. I hold power over so many, yet the disappearance of a cat has made me feel helpless and empty.

The thought of bringing a woman home, and there were so many I could have desired, was far from my mind. It would have been a distraction but a hollow one.

I went into my bedroom to rest and think alone. But I was not alone. I heard a noise. Small noises. Voices. I quickly pulled out a drawer of the dresser and there she was.

There was the cat with four tiny kittens. They were so tiny I could have put them all in the palm of my hand. I looked on in wonder as my cat purred and sang to me a joyful song.

I found my cat.

I do not know who the father is so I will take his place to protect this tiny brood.

Do I dare say that they are cute?  Yes, they are exceptionally cute. That is something I do understand.

~ Vlad

blue cat

For the rest of the Vampire Diary Series (featuring Vlad and the Cat) do a search on this blog using the words “Vampire Diary” or “Vlad”

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Doodling and Thinking Out Loud

I was all set out to write about how as a busy Vampire mom I never have enough time. Then again I don’t have the self-indulgent luxury of feeling sorry for myself.

A busy friend of mine (a dad) said “If you want something done ask a busy person.”

I have a deadline for some short stories and suddenly writer’s block has hit me like a big block of iron ore right in the side of the head.

Then there are those four novels looming around like ghosts. Two of them 90% done. All are exceptionally good if I may say so myself. My husband doesn’t believe I’ll get them done before my 200th birthday. I need an editor.

And speaking of ghosts…my ghost is gone. I don’t know where the nasty little bastard went. Damn him.

I was going to write a post about either Werewolves, my new Vampire Cody or my business partner and how she handles working with Vampires.  But I didn’t.  I started to and it just turned out stupid.

So instead I’m sharing a photo of the cat. He isn’t a Vampire. Just a cat who is quiet good at being a cat as you can see.  The spell check said I should say “that is quite good at being a cat” but I see him as a WHO not a THAT.  The Grammar police have no power over me today. But back to the cat…he is quite wonderful.

Vampire Maman's Cat

Vampire Maman’s Cat

And speaking of grammar:

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does — but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you’ll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it’s the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it’s the sickening grammar they use.
– Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

And I’m sharing some doodles by my phone, not done on some app, but scribbled with pen and pencil on my desk. I’ve cropped out dates, phone numbers and names. Add to list “Do Serious Artwork.” It is too bad I didn’t turn the California Artist Julian Rix (look him up) into a Vampire when I had a chance. He was a lot of fun. That was back in the late 1870’s. But art…yes, I need to get serious again or … I could just doodle I suppose.

doodle1 1


doodle1 2

That last doodle is my cat and me.

Like they tell the kids at lunchtime in preschool “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”

And no, my husband will never figure out how my mind works and he gave up a long long time ago. He doesn’t read this blog either, but I’m fine with that. If you blog don’t expect your partner to read it. That is usually a good thing.

So anyway, have a Vampire sort of day – you know, happy and Gothic and all full of fun and bats and cocktails and passion and stuff like that.  Add to list: Passion. Call Teddy.



~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman