Vampire Hunters & other creatures of the night (or we’re pretty normal so just leave us alone)

There is nothing so discerning than sitting on your deck and glancing over to the yard next door and seeing a ghost.

We had friends over for a BBQ, two couples and their kids. All vampires. And as we were sipping our drinks, enjoying the sunset, the ghost was standing out on my neighbor’s deck. He waved at me, as he stood there in his black suit and shaggy brown hair. Then he smiled and vanished.

For the most part vampires avoid ghosts. I don’t like the sneaky bastards. There are those of us who are different, but at least we live in the physical world, not some in between place, hiding and haunting and not belonging.

My neighbor has no idea she has a ghost who follows her. Then again, she doesn’t know she lives next to a family of vampires. She has no idea of the other  “alternate type of paranormal powered human who lives for centuries and I can’t figure out what he is”, who lives across the street. He knows of the ghosts and vampires but says nothing. I’ve known him all my life and still can’t figure him out.

Anyway, which brings up back to Vampire Hunters.

There are several types of Vampire Hunters:

Old School Killers: They’ve been around for a while. They want to torch, behead and kill is in any way they can. No questions asked. They don’t want to know us or understand us. They believe we are evil and want to send us (back) to the fires of Hell. They bask in their ignorance (makes you think of politics doesn’t it).

Romantics: They love the idea of vampires in the books and movies. Yes, they would like to kill us, maybe, but only after we seduce them and try to lure them into our dens with blood lust and way too much sex. It ain’t gonna happen. Dangerous if they are charming or smart but not really.

The Scientists: Almost as dangerous as the Old School Killers. They want to figure us out – an ancient sub species of the human race to be caged and studied and cut apart.

The Groupies: They want to be vampires. God knows how many of these folks my husband (who was once regular human) has talked out of the vampire life. They have no idea what they are getting into, or the fact that the conversion will likely kill them.  They are usually really weird too. I mean really weird. There again, they’ve read too many vampire novels and seen too many vampire movies.

Breeder Wannabees: There are those who want to breed with a vampire (sorry, it doesn’t work that way, only vampires can have babies with vampires).

If they knew us, they wouldn’t hate of. But who am I kidding. They’ll always hate us. They’ll hate all of us who aren’t they same type of subspecies of human they are. If the ones who don’t want to kill us knew us they’d leave us alone because we’d bore them to death with our normal lives.

My friend Elizabeth, uncomfortable with the subject of Vampire Hunters, changed the subject. “So how was your lunch with your attorney last week?”

“Devine.” I said with a smile. The kids all came bounding out to the deck and we changed the subject. Life is good (despite the assholes).

~ Juliette


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